Sunday, August 12, 2007

I am not feeling well

Hello Everyone,

I am gonna make this short and simple. I have been depressed lately, and it keeps getting worse. Now I am starting to feel sick to my stomach.

I feel like I want to just put life on hold for a while while I sleep everything else off. I just need a break. I feel like things don't get progressively better, they get progressively worse.

But luckily out of the blue for some reason, my friends have been calling me up and wanting to hang out with me so it takes the edge off. I have been out all weekend, so it has been a nice change, rather than me hiding in my room.

I also wish my mother would talk to me again. As she may still read this, I hope that she sees this and realizes that I do miss her.

I really hope things get better for me.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Busy

Hello there my lovelies,

I will make this entry short as I am not feeling too well.

I am going back to school for my Paralegal Certificate. I have an interest in learning the laws, especially in immigration. Since I couldn't become a Customs Officer maybe this would be a better option. However, I would be interested in studying Criminal law as well. I met with the head of the department and he was very helpful. I will have him as my professor this fall. I heard he is good, so I am excited. This is one of the few hopeful things I have going on for me right now.

I am having issues at work, and I think I may lose my job. My bosses say they are unhappy with my performance and that I don't take enough initiative on the job. Yet I think they are wrong. I have taken responsibility for a lot of issues that aren't really my responsibility, and they haven't heard about it. None of them have ever visited my office, nor have they sat down with me out of concern. I just hear all of a sudden that they want to replace me. I heard a couple of weeks ago that they were fine with my performance, but now they want to replace me. It makes me angry. I told my boss I wasn't properly trained and if he makes me train another person, then that person will have the same knowledge level as me and it would be pointless.

It's not fair because I see my coworkers slacking off. They come in late, leave their posts, lose the keys and not do the work they ask. Yet they are still around and my boss wants to work fast to replace me. The funny thing is that he hasn't visited my site the whole time I have been there so he doesn't really know my full duties. Especially since I do double the work he does. It bothers me. Especially since I know a lot of the clients are happy with me.

I really want to get back into dance. I have been feeling really stressed lately. I have been too busy with school and work. I work out at the gym, but it is not the same as when I am dancing.

Anyway, that is all for now. I shall be back up here later.

Ciao Ciao.