Friday, January 29, 2010

Blank

Hi Kittens,

Not much to report. I usually have a lot of stuff to write about, but not today.

I've been feeling the blues lately. For those of you that don't know I suffer from mild depression and anxiety. Sometimes I am fine, and I try to be an upbeat person and look at the bright side of things. I try to think of all the ways I have lucked out in life.

Sometimes that doesn't work and sometimes I can't see the road ahead. Lately it's been an uphill battle and I hope I feel better soon. I usually do after a while. But I feel like I got hit by a ton of bricks. It's not that I feel like this for no reason, of course things happened to set it off. Eating has been a chore lately, so has sleeping.

I've never really talked about this out in the open on my public blog. I know that when I write sad things, most people shun away. But I don't feel like hiding behind a facade all the time, and this blog isn't about collecting readers or make sure I'm entertaining all the time. I also realized that I've been blogging for so long, when am I going to go out and live life outside a computer ?

I don't take meds, since it's not serious. I've felt this way since I turned 21, but I finally sought out a therapist in 2007. It worked wonders. I tried meds once, but they didn't work. I felt like nothing happened. For me, I felt it would be better to deal with the feelings as they came.

Anyway, the cat is out of the bag, I finally said it.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Something Old, Something New

Hello My Little Turtle Doves,

I know that it's 2010 and I am all about brining new things into my life: new place to live, new job, new friends, maybe new relocation, new love, whatever this year has to offer. But at the same time there are some old things that I don't ever want to let go of.

So I am really happy right now because I got my old pictures from my time in Barcelona back. A couple of years ago, my Dell laptop, the one I took with me to Spain crapped out on me. I got my files out, but the storage it was on then crapped out on me again this year. So I begged and pleaded with one of my coworkers to help me out, and he did. And now I will be smarter about transferring them to this laptop and backing them up.

The picture of me below was taken at work. I worked at the Barcelona World Trade Center as a total phone whore telemarketer. The work was demanding, but after 5pm rolled around I was free as a bird, and I could go to the beach, hang out with friends or teach English, or makeout with boys. Weekends were free also, so I would sometimes take weekend trips, or just sleep in all the time.

One thing I never got to mention in this blog, which I was writing in while I was there, was that our office had a beautiful view of the ports, and not only that but we could watch the cruise ships come in. Sometimes you would see people suntanning naked. Luckily I didn't but a couple of my bosses did. I remember one of the guys standing on his chair to get a better view.

But this picture was taken during my lunch break. I worked with a few Argentinians, and we bonded fast because: 1.) We were all homesick 2.) They loved the US and I love Argentina 3.) We loved to bitch about our job. One of the guys took my picture here, and notice I am barefoot. It was nice to eat lunch in the sun .



There are a couple of other things I wanted to mention................

Above is that last picture I took of my Oma. This was our last full day together, as I got on a plane the next day to come back to the SF Bay Area. We did errands that day, she took me to the Festung, a famous Austrian fortress in Salzburg, and she bought me Almdudler ( a softdrink only served in Austria and Germany) along with Apple Struedel.  That struedel was so good, that I had two pieces that day with Oma's blessing, of course ;)

I was just looking to my pics and realized that on that day before we went to the Festung, that she also took
me on a boatride on the Salzach river. In the picture below, you can see the Festung (Austrian fortress on a hill) in the background. I also realized that before we went up to the Festung to eat Struedel, she took me to a famous Austrian cafe. I don't remember what I had there, probably coffee.





I am writing about this day with my Oma, because it was our last day I got to spend with her. On our last full day, I also got to see this...........................



It was sunny, and then all of a sudden rainy. But at the end of that I saw the most beautiful rainbow. This was taken in Oma's neighborhood.

It was like this was a sign to things to come. I had been in Barcelona for a year, and Austria for a week, and was ready to go back to California. Oma took me to the airport, and said goodbye. It was a long good bye, and we hugged a lot. She and her beloved Tony stayed with me the whole time, and was there to hug and kiss me before I walked away for good. At the time, I was thinking "don't worry, I'll be fine, you don't have to stand around the whole time." But looking back, I am glad she did. Sometimes you really never know when your last goodbye is.

 What I didn't realize was that it would be the last good bye for us in person. She passed away in August of 2006. But I came back to Austria to say my last good bye.

It has been almost four years, but her rainbow still lingers in my heart.

So that is all for now my little feathery friends. So nice to have these pictures and memories back where I can see them.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Just get rid of it !

Hi My Little Hummingbirds,

So I've been cleaning out more stuff from storage. It's like I woke up one morning and decided that I don't want to have a lot of stuff, that I want to be a minimalist. I just feel that there is a lot of baggage I've held on to. From books to clothing to boxes of pictures.

Yesterday I dumped out a box filled to the brim of old pictures and old birthday cards and letters. Most of those pictures were duplicates, or pictures of stuff like trees and flowers. And the cards were just cards, with no written messages or cards from people I haven't seen in years. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Now I just hold on to letters from close family members.

I also cleaned out my e-mail box. I held onto a lot of stuff because I am a sentimental person. I wanted to look back and remember what I was thinking and going through years ago.

Today I went back into my e-mail address that I used while I was in Spain. I held on to a couple of love letters from a guy I really liked. I forgot what it felt like to be even remotely interested in a guy. I deleted his e-mails. Nice reminder from my days in Barcelona, but it's time for it to go.

I do believe that I won't have room for new memories if I don't get rid of the old. It's more of a mental thing than physical.

Ever since 2010 hit, I realized I am kind of tired of the life that I have been living and wish that things could change. It's a long story, but I want a total life makeover. For starters, I moved into a new place, but I have a long way to go until I remotely even feel better. I feel like life has been handing me the same thing over and over and nothing changes.

Okay, that is enough for now my little nectar sucking birdies...............

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Bitch.

"If I could ask God to grant me one wish, I would pray for a big enough ass for the world to kiss."
                                                                                                          - Eminem

Hello My Little Puppies,

So I just love the above statement, because I feel like I have woken up on the wrong side of the proverbial bed today. For one thing, the weather is still cloudy and rainy, and it gives me the blues. I am a sunshine type of girl, I thrive off the sunshine and warmth, and I feel deprived.

Thankfully, it should come back tomorrow. I can't wait for summer. Longer days, summer dresses and summer boys.

Yesterday I was at the gym and I tried a machine called Jacob's Ladder. I don't know if you've ever tried that thing, but I only lasted for 5 minutes. I will attempt 6 minutes tomorrow. I can run 5-6 miles, but I can't stay on that machine for more than 5 minutes. Basically, you climb up this ladder, and it's like a treadmill, except you are engaging your arms and legs and lower back.

I felt like it was a bitch workout because that piece of machinery totally owned me and made me its bitch. But it excites me in a twisted sort of way, so I will attempt to get a better grip next time I go in. I've never hated a piece of machinery in a way that makes me curious like Jacob's Ladder.

Anyway that is all for now my little furballs.

Besitos !

Monday, January 25, 2010

No Fatties ! Uglies may apply though..............

Aloha  my bitches ! Time for mama to give you another "manslation." I swear to God, you can't make this stuff up sometimes. Internet dating sucks, but when you stoop to the level of Craigslist, you know times are tough !

Anyway, you know the rules........ All caps is what he probably really means, and red writing is what I am directly saying.


TITLE: I love thin girls! looks don't matter! I'LL BE DOING YOU FROM BEHIND


Date: 2010-01-24, 2:24PM

I am looking for a petite girl to spoil I MAY PAY FOR A DINNER OR TWO OR BUY YOU BOOZE. I am in a relationship but I have time and money for a side project.

My dream girl would be 5 ft. tall 90 lbs with c cups. FAKE TITS PREFERRED. Does he not have a clue ??

You don't have to be my dream girl but you do need to have tiny hips and skinny waist and legs and firm butt and a gap between your legs! Honey, we're women, we all have a gap between our legs.

If you are taller or shorter that is fine, any race and I don't care if you are good looking or not, just be skinny. NOT ONLY AM I AN UGLY FUCKLING, BUT I HAVE A PAPER BAG TO PUT OVER YOUR HEAD IN CASE YOU ARE ESPECIALLY HIDEOUS.

I am only looking for a no strings attatched part time thing, so you can be in a relationship too if you want. Oh, hey, thanks for your approval.

I want to be your sugar daddy! BABY, I REALLY DON'T HAVE MONEY, I DON'T EVEN REALLY HAVE A JOB, THE MONEY I HAVE IS FROM MY LIVE-IN GIRLFRIEND WHO WORKS TO SUPPORT ME AND OUR CHILD.

I am 6ft tall 190 in good shape and good looking IF I AM OPENLY ADMITTING TO BANGING UGLY GIRLS, HOW ATTRACTIVE DO YOU THINK I REALLY AM ? I just have a fetish for going down on a skinny girl and then riding her hard! THE SMALLER THE GIRL, THE BIGGER MY PENIS WILL FEEL.

I am drug and disease free so you be too! I'VE ACTUALLY NEVER BEEN TESTED. AM JUST SAYING THAT TO TRY AND GET YOU TO USE THE PULL-OUT METHOD.

Reply if you want to trade pics! THE GUT WILL BE PHOTO-SHOPPED OUT. IT WILL JUST POP OUT TO SAY HELLO WHEN WE MEET

I can't wait to get my face between your legs!  I can't wait to put my foot up your ass ! 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sunday Funday Time !!

Good afternoon my little chocolate truffles !

I hope you are enjoying your weekend. Yesterday I took a class in Excel and got my stuff out of storage. I am so functionally retarded when it comes to Excel, it's so embarrassing so I am happy I am helping myself. Anyway, as I was getting stuff out of storage I noticed my tire was slowly deflating. I was so lucky that my car mechanic was still in the shop. Because I did not want to have to resort to changing a tire on the street.

Anyway, one of the things I took out of storage was my huge chest of books. I emptied half of it, but the rest was still really difficult to lug up the steps in front of my apartment. I was really struggling with it, and I live on a busy street downtown. It was really awkward for me to have people stuck at a stoplight awkwardly watching me lugging a wooden chest up the steps. At one point I just stared back at a car full. They immediately looked away. Next time I will start waving and smiling.


Okay, enough talking about me, ah who the hell am I kidding, let me tell you more about myself in a survey !


So, here's the deal....... Jimmy did a survey via e-mail and passed it along. Because I am a huge survey whore, I decided not only to do it, but also to post my answers.

1 . WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Negativo




2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  I came really close on Friday.



3. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, when I slow down



4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL? I love sushi for lunch



5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? My baby-making factory is currently not open for business, thankuverymuch.



6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure, I am not a bad person.



7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Are you simple, stupid or slow ?



8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS ? Yes



9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Maybe on a dare, but I would be pretty freaking scared !



10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Cinnamon Toast Crunch



11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF  Sometimes



12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes


13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint Chocolate Chip

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? If they are smiling or not. If it's a good looking man, I see if he's wearing a wedding ring.
15. RED OR PINK? Red


16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Well, for one thing, I am not telling you.



17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST ?     I miss my Oma, and I don't get to see my brother as often



18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Sure



19. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing frog PJs with blue slippers. RAWR !!



20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Wheat bread with Nutella



21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?  Bellydance music



22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?  Yellow



23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Baking bread, bbqing meat



24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My dad

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS? Yes

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Ice skating

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown

28. EYE COLOR? Blue, sometimes green
29. Do you wear contacts? No
30. FAVORITE FOOD? There are so many options, but I love Korean and Spanish cuisine



31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy ending, and not the one you'd get at the massage parlor.



32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? New In Town



33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?  Green



34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer



35. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs from my friends, and a nice steamy kiss from a love interest



36. FAVORITE DESSERT? I will never resist a Cappucino mud pie with an oreo cookie crust.



37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND ? I think most people will skip this



38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND ? See above


39. What book are you reading now? In Arabian Nights by Tahir Shah



40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?  Your mother............ Oh, sorry I don't really have a mousepad. It's built in my laptop.



41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? Reruns



42. FAVORITE SOUND? Music



43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles



44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Seoul, South Korea



45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?  Why yes I do, thank you for asking



46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? In Utah



47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Ashleigh



48.WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? Half past a monkey's ass, according to his balls.

Friday, January 22, 2010

What I Found

Hi Loves,

So I was cleaning out my storage lately, as since I moved I can store stuff here at my place. I decided to throw out a bunch of pictures as well as old letters and things like that. It is a new year, and I strongly believe in the saying that you can't make room for new things to come in your life if you are still holding on to people and memories from the past. So in a nutshell, I've decided to toss things from people I am no longer in touch with and keep letters from my family and close friends.

So I was going through a box of pictures, and in it, I found a picture with my Oma (Austrian grandma) and I in front of Zauner, a famous Austrian confectionary. That picture is also real special to me because I was in my traditional Austrian dress, a Dirndl kleid that she bought for me. I still have it in my closet.

I forgot I had pictures of her and I together. Oma was and is someone I love and miss very much. She had a bittersweet ending because she died instantly of a heart attack in 2006. It was bitter because she was only 71, seemed healthy, and we thought she had years ahead of her.

On the other hand, it was sweet because she lost my grandpa, aka the love of her life 21 years earlier. Two weeks before she passed she said that if she were going to die that she would want to go in the same manner that her husband did. She got her wish, as she died instantly of a heart attack like he did. They are buried together. I can't be mad at that. I respect that, and finally she can be with him.

She was the one that got me in touch with my cultural side. She made sure I learned German and only spoke to me in German. She was a staunchly proud Austrian. I love learning foreign languages. I equate someone helping me learn another language to love. When others open up and explain foreign language concepts, it brings me back to my aunt and grandma lovingly help me learn German. After German I moved on to Spanish. Latinos/Hispanics are generally very passionate and kind, so learning Spanish has also been a wonderful experience.

She told me she wanted me to find true love, and made me promise I would invite her to my wedding. If I get married, I am dedicating it to her. She would always question me about my love life and talk about how happy she was with my grandpa. She would also tell me to make sure I learn how to properly cook, as the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I remember when she cooked for a bunch of hard working men on the Austrian alps in her apron with a huge bow in the back. After lunch they lined up to shake and kiss her hand. She then winked at me to get the point across.



Anyway, after Oma passed away, I mourned for about a week. I cried up until her funeral, but after she was buried, I put it behind me and moved on. Her funeral was so beautiful. Her casket was carried draped in flowers and carried along to Mozart, with the Austrian hills in the background. I couldn't be sad or hurt anymore after that.

I miss her so much, but I am not hurting either. She continues to make her presence known to me in my life. I inherited her prized necklace and ring my grandpa saved up to buy for her, which is smokey topaz. Did I mention that topaz is my birthstone ? I remember when I first started wearing it. It was like men were drawn to me like a magnet.

I also stumble upon pictures of us while cleaning, like earlier this week. I also have her letters. Once in a while she pops up in my dreams like I saw her yesterday.

I just feel lucky that I got to thank her before she passed. She is one of those people that I just feel lucky that she was in my life and that I got to know her. She was definitely a woman I looked up to and admired. She managed to spoil me while instilling good morals. The thing she did that had the greatest impact on me was volunteer with the mentally ill. I didn't realize it at the time, but it is definitely something I look back on and admire. She would have parties for them and manage their finances. It is so easy for the wrong people to get their hands on money of the mentally handicapped. But she made sure they were in order.

Okay, that is all for now. But I am sure I will be back to talk about her more down the road.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Everyone has a twin

Hello There My Little Chinchillas,

Everyone has a "twin". You know, someone that looks so much like you it's scary.  I do, and if you have ever read my private blog, you know how I came to know about mine. Long and horrifying story.

My ex-boyfriend who lives on the East Coast ( Broke up 2 years ago, haven't seen in over a year) also has a "twin". That lives in my area and gets his mail at the same place I do. And I got a dose of this reality today.

I was getting my mail at my mailbox where he used to get his before he moved back out of state (I still get mine there). I was just talking to the clerk and having a great time.

Until this man gets out of a car which looks like it could be a rental (he always drove rentals) and walks in.  My face turned white as a ghost, because I didn't know what to do. Was his new wife in the car ? Do I say hello ? Congratulate him ? Tell him I wish him the best yeah right ? Blah blah blah blah ?

A million things went through my mind. Some of them included:

"WTF is he doing here ???? I stay on my turf you stay on yours."
"Why do I have to run into him"?
" I wonder how big of a bitch I was when I last dealt with him."
" Does he hate me"? Followed by " I don't care if he hates me."
"Fuck he looks like he lost weight and I look like shit today. Perfect, God loves me."

This man was a dead ringer for my ex, it was unreal. Same facial hair, same body type, same way of walking similar clothing type.

Then he opened his mouth and sounded nothing like my ex, and then I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't have to say anything.

Poor guy was probably wondering what my problem was. Actually, I don't think he even noticed, thank God.

But I still realized that I left the house looking frumpy today since I had the most wonderful massage. Because I knew my face would be pressed into the massage pillow, I didn't bother to do my makeup or even work on my hair.

But I will proceed to work on firming my ass.

I know that this is no big deal to most, but with the kind of dating karma I've had, I've been blessed to have never accidentally run into any men of my past that I've dated. I think it's wonderful if you ask me. And today, for a moment I thought that little sweet piece of dating karma had been taken from me.

That is all for now my little fur coats.........

Un besito !

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Words on Wednesday

Hello My Little Ducklings !

I don't really have anything witty to say right now, so I will just talk about the latest happenings in my life.

I now take the light rail to work, and there are some interesting people I get to ride with. Last night, I saw some aspiring rapper try to pick up a girl. It turns out that he knew her, but my gawd he was a mess. He was talking really loud, and apparently nothing was sacred to him. This wanna be latino rapper with a knitted wool cap.

He was bragging how he's banging this black chick and she's such a freak, and how girls are comparing him to Tupac and how these girls want him I could not believe it. I was trying so hard not to laugh. The girl he was trying to talk to get into the pants of  was merely tolerating him.

I also get to deal with homeless guys that like to cough and make snorting noises and swallowing their phlegm instead of blowing their noses.

But last week was interesting. There was this guy dressed in business clothes looking aimlessly at the schedule. Turns out he was a tourist, and he was just so excited to be in Silicon Valley. First of all, I thought he was strange, because most tourists head straight to San Francisco. But no, this guy wanted to take pictures of all the major companies. He was so excited to be in Silicon Valley. I didn't want to spoil his fun, but I did tell him that it isn't what it once was, especially in venture capitalism. That we've gotten hit hard by massive layoffs and he seemed surprised by it all.

He was from Chicago and he was talking the lightrail to hopefully take pictures of companies like Google and Yahoo. So since my job was close by and on the same street as other major companies I offered to take his picture in front of where I work.

It turns out that he is probably going to get a job working for our city, I think in management. I could not believe that our city was recruiting people from other states. But he seemed like a nice person, so I wished him well and answered all his questions about housing prices and transportation. It would be interesting if I ran into him again. The honey moon of Silicon Valley would soon fade for him if he lived here.

Other than my adventures on the light rail, nothing else to really report. I will be taking a computer class this weekend to learn how to better use Excel. If I ever want to work in a law firm, I need to learn how to use it better. And let's just say that my Excel skill really suck ass. It's horrible, and I really need to do something about it.

Well, that is all for now my little helpless birdies. Please keep the victims of the massive earthquake in Haiti in your prayers. If you don't believe in prayer, at least please keep them in your thoughts. There are different beliefs out there. But ultimately, I believe in the power of prayer/thought and there is nothing to lose.

If you are going to donate, please make sure the organization is reputable. I was able to text HAITI to 90999 on my cellphone, and had no problems. I use Verizon, one of the major cellphone companies and the donation will end up on my cellphone bill. It sure beats entering my credit card number online or over the phone.

Also, the great thing about that method of donating is that you can change your mind. You can cancel if you need to, since it is a charge that is appearing on your cellphone bill.

Okay, so time for me to go.

Besitos y abrazos

Monday, January 18, 2010

Married and looking for you babe !

Hi Kittens,

So it's time for mama to give you another dose of a "manslation". I've noticed that I have a tendency of picking on married douchebags cheaters. They are such easy targets, kinda like sitting ducks with their pants down. Wait, ducks don't wear pants...... but yeah, you get my drift..............

Now remember, the capital letters are what he probably really means, and the red letters are what I really think.

Enjoy my little furballs...................

TITLE: Does the idea of forbidden love intrigue you? - 35

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-01-18, 7:18PM PST

Let me get right to the point. I'M HORNY. I have been married for a very long time I LIED ABOUT MY AGE ABOVE. My marriage has long ago lost its spark BECAUSE LOOK AT ME, NO ONE WANTS TO SCREW A BALDING GUY WITH A HUGE GUT. I suppose that I’ve reached the proverbial “mid life crisis” that many (perhaps most) long-time married people reach EXCEPT THAT I CAN'T FIND A YOUNGER GIRL, NOR CAN I AFFORD THE EXPENSIVE SPORTS CAR. Some choose to suffer silently. MY PENIS AND TESTICLES SUFFER.

I’ve decided to do something about it… And so I’m here. TROLLING FOR YOU, BABE........

To put it bluntly: What I miss most is the fun and excitement of getting to know someone of the opposite sex… and becoming emotionally involved with that person. It’s been so long… and I’m not getting any younger. Does this sad story sound all-too-familiar? HELLO ! LOOK AROUND, YOU CAN'T SWING A DEAD CAT WITHOUT HITTING A MARRIED DUDE ON CRAIGSLIST. WHO WANTS TO BANG A WHINY, BALDING MARRIED DUDE ?

And so: I am seeking to get to know a married woman in the same situation… I CAN FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IF YOU ARE CHEATING LIKE I AM. MISERY LOVES COMPANY one who is willing to share e-mails on a daily basis … to compare notes… to get to know one another slowly... with a view to establishing confidence and affection… and perhaps (if everything were to click) something more. MAKE NO MISTAKE, WE'LL BE BANGING RIGHT AWAY. Ideally, a woman who is possibly looking for some sort of relationship outside of marriage…but who is not looking to change her situation… and one who believes that any relationship must be based on a friendship and a strong emotional bond… THE WORDS "FRIENDS" OR "FRIENDSHIP" ARE A MARRIED MAN'S BEST FRIEND.


The nice thing about e-mail correspondence is that one can take things nice and slow. e-mail correspondence of this sort can be fun (and perhaps more than that) BLAH BLAH BLAH, IT'S JUST THAT THE WIFEY ALREADY HACKED INTO MY CELLY, SO THAT'S WHY I ONLY STICK TO EMAIL ... with someone who has a reasonable command over language and who is willing to put the time and thought into e-mails. IRONIC, HUH ? I AM DECEIVING MY WIFE, AND ENCOURAGING YOU TO DO THE SAME, YET I DEMAND YOU HAVE WRITING SKILLS And, of course, e-mail is the ideal “safe” SAFE FROM THE WIFE FINDING OUT  medium in which to begin a relationship in the context in which we find ourselves….

The woman that I seek is intelligent, educated, a good writer A VAG DOESN'T HAVE WRITING SKILLS, adventurous, kind, sensitive, emotionally stable HUH??? and equipped with a good sense of humor... I’d like to think that I have -- or at least strive to have -- these same qualities. SOME ASPIRE, BUT NOT ALL CAN ATTAIN.

Am I conflicted in doing this? Absolutely... Any thinking person would have to feel conflicted unless his or her marriage were pretty far gone. But I have come around to the conclusion that a little bit of risk taking is better than boredom and unhappiness... BABE, THE ONLY THING THAT IS CONFLICTED IS IN MY PANTS.
I've also come around to the fact (and I'm not sure what took me so long THE WIFE IS A HAWK, SO IT TOOK A WHILE TO BUMP HER OFF THE RADAR) that there is nothing so captivating in life as meeting and establishing an emotional bond with someone of the opposite sex... and nothing so exquisite as sealing that emotional bond with a kiss.... And life is short. (Yes, the old song from “Casablanca” had it exactly right: “You must remember this… A kiss is but a kiss… The fundamental things apply… As time goes by”). GROSS................


About me: I'm not pompous nor arrogant -- and consider myself a good listener BABE, THAT'S BECAUSE OUR COMMUNICATION IS VIA E-MAIL AND I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU. I enjoy long conversations about anything and everything...the political, the personal and everything in between. AS LONG AS IT'S IN BED, I WILL LISTEN, It is through wide-ranging conversation -- e-mail and in-person -- that two people can discover intimacy in the best sense of that word.
Oh yes, one more thing… As for the obligatory self-laudatory "looks" assessment that inevitably appears in these sorts of postings... well, here it is... I think I’m reasonably presentable, in-shape and all the rest. JUST LIKE I THINK A YUGO IS REASONABLE TRANSPORTATION. IT DRIVES YOU AND I BANG YOU. Of course, you’ll have to be the judge of that… and I will be pleased NOT !!! to forward a photo upon your request. YOU GET A PICTURE OF ME TAKEN TEN YEARS AGO BEFORE I LOST MY HAIR AND GREW A GUT.

If any of this sounds intriguing, I would love to hear from you.  YOU JUST DID..... ON MY BLOGGY !

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Landing Strip Time !

Well Hello There My Little Chocolate Truffles,

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend. I slept in and went to yoga this morning. That yoga class kicked my ass, and I wonder how sore I will be tomorrow morning. The woman next to me farted, but I am not one to throw stones, and that is because I sit in the glass house.

Anyway, are any of you watching this season of The Bachelor ? I am. I find it highly amusing. I will say that I think this season's bachelor, Jake Pavelka is attractive, but I don't buy the good boy image that he portrays. Basically, in the beginning of the season he says he is a commercial pilot, and is shown putting on his uniform. While they are showing that, he is saying how he is going to find his wife, and that he just wants to get married and find the one. Over and over again, I was listening to him say "my future wife" in most of his clips. I was ready to vomit. I just don't know how sincere a man is when he is shown dating on TV and I don't know how serious he is about finding "the one" when he is busy playing tonsil hockey with 15 girls. Also, aren't commercial pilots super busy ? As in too busy to devote adequate time to your wife and children ?

In the last episode I watched, one of the contestants, Roz got kicked off for having an "innapropriate relationship" with one of the show's producers. Personally, I thought it was hilarious. Many people are thinking "awww, poor  lil' Jakey got deceived" and are angry at her, but c'mon he'll get over it with 10 other women to fall into. How hard is that ? How often does a man have the option to make out with ten girls after a girl stomps on his heart or deceives him and then have a tv show foot the bill for that. Most men wish they had options like that.

I think that there was some truth to the allegations, because I saw footage of the girls saying they saw her laying on the couch with one of producers. I also think that the other staff knew about it. I just think that they let it happen and maybe encouraged it a little to boost ratings. Or maybe the show fabricated it. Who knows ?

But I continue to watch the show because I enjoy trash tv, and think it's hilarious that there are women out there that will chase after a man like that.

At the end of this bloggy post is a clip from Channy, who is near the SF Bay. She says something totally trashy to Jake in Cambodian, her native language. But as I learned through reading comments, her Cambodian is pretty busted. I live in an Asian community, and I've heard many Asian languages spoken. Even I knew that her Cambodian accent was busted without actually understanding her. She sounds way too Americanized to be pulling off that "Cambodian fever" display.

Moral of the story: If you are going to talk about your vag to a complete stranger in a foreign language, then at least do your homework and get it right. The only time a woman should use the words "landing strip" in a sentence when talking to a man is if his face looks like this and she is offering threatening to shave it off for him. Why do men think this look is okay ?????? Who was the guy that woke up and decided that he would shape his chin hair to look like a snatch ????? This douchebag guy below is Adnan Ghalib, who is married and cheated on his wife with Britney Spears.




Anywhore my little chocolates, that is enough trash talk about trash tv for now.  Enjoy the little clip below !

Besitos !


Friday, January 15, 2010

Hello ! I can hear you !

Hello There My Little Fluffy Marshmallows,

So while I was out and about I've overheard some interesting conversations that made me turn around and go "WTF" in my brain.

Sometimes people don't realize how loud they are and what they are talking about, and that nosy people like me can overhear them.

And if you are in a restaurant with others, and you see me eating by myself, watch out ! If your table is next to mine and I have nothing better to do than listen in, then I will listen while pretending to look elsewhere.

Now, I am no better. I can't tell you how many times I've been out with Ashleigh (or Le Porkstar) and said highly inappropriate things and everyone could hear me. But the difference was, I didn't give a shit. I was out to embarrass myself and get a few laughs and it was mostly on purpose.

Anyway, so I was at Target buying stuff for my new place. You know, cooking oil, a pan, stuff like that. So I was looking for cooking spray, and I overheard the stockers talking. A girl was basically talking to her male coworker very out loud about how the guy she was with basically left her pregnant. And I look down, and I could see she was showing. And she was kneeling on the floor stocking items. She was talking out loud about how the guy basically left her and told her "don't worry, I'll be back." The male coworker she was talking to basically told her if that's what he said then he would never be coming back. She told him that he was being mean, but I think he was being realistic.

Too bad, she was a real pretty, young girl. I can't imaging what it must be like for women to have to go through a pregnancy alone. It should be a time for the man and woman to bond, and every woman deserves to have a man to help her through it. She shouldn't have to resort to working a low paying job, doing strenous work just to make ends meet.

Anyway, a minute later I had to ask her where the cooking spray was, and she looked at me like " I just poured my heart out, I know you heard me, and now you want to ask me about cooking spray?" It was definitely an awkward moment.

And then a couple of days ago I was walking downtown to do an errand, and I overheard this guy on the sidewalk talking to his friend in a real loud voice. Basically he had sex with a minor, and he decided that he didn't care if the whole world could hear him or not. He was definitely an adult, a rather large, nasty, greasy one at that. So gross.

Anyway, he was talking to his female friend, and said "Yeah, so I had sex with a minor. Yeah, I fucked up, but so has everyone else ! Who hasn't ?

I was thinking " I can think of a lot of men that wouldn't touch a minor, you nasty fucking douchebag/cocknozzle/slimeball"

That was definitely something I didn't need to hear.

I also remember when I worked as a waitress at Red Lobster, there would be awkward moments, things I accidentally overheard, or tense moments where the husband and wife were fighting and would give me the stink eye when I came to their table. I remember one couple came to eat and talk about their divorce over mediocre seafood.

Anywho, that is all for now my little sugary fluffballs.

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Thursday Throb and Thrust

Hello My Little Furballs,

So normally when I post hot females on Thursday it is called the Thursday Thrust. But today it's called the Thursday Throb and Thrust because I have a little something extra for you readers of the male species.......and females that appreciate female beauty.

This is Salma Hayek's famous dance. I think she is gorgeous, especially because she is all natural, and she owns it. The confidence she displays on the stage is what makes the dance. It's a lesson I've taken to heart on the dance floor in my performances.

Okay, so less talking, more showing.............. Here...........


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Meme whore time !!

What two specific colors best reflect your personality? RED AND BLUE. SOMETIMES PURPLE


If you could be any animal, what would you be? A BIRD

Your favorite flower is? RED ROSE

What is your favorite candy? M&MS

What is your favorite fruit and vegetable? BANANA AND TOMATO

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP

Do you prefer sour or sweet? SWEET

What style of jeans do you prefer to wear? JEANS THAT FIT MY ASS

The color yellow reminds you of?  MY GRANDMOTHER, IT IS HER COLOR, AND THE BOX OF CRAYONS ISN'T COMPLETE WITHOUT A YELLOW

The first word which pops into your head when I say summer is? HOT

The first word which pops into your head when I say waterfall is? WATERFALLS ARE PEACEFUL

Do you prefer to sing or dance? DANCE

If you could play any instrument, what would it be? THE PIANO

The top two qualities you look for in a friend are? LOYALTY AND ABLE TO TOLERATE MY SENSE OF HUMOR

What cartoon character is your favorite? IT VARIES, BUT FOR NOW TWEETY

Do you have a favorite comic? If so, what is it? I'M NOT A FAN OF COMICS

Would you say your an introvert or an extrovert? MORE OF AN INTROVERT

Which 4 places would you like to visit in the future? AMSTERDAM, PARIS, EGYPT, MOROCCO

How do you like to travel(by foot, boat, car, etc)? TRAIN

What is your favorite sport? ICE SKATING

Finish this sentence: Something that people don't know about me until they get to know me is... THAT I HAVE HAD AN UNUSUAL LIFE

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Random Thoughts For My Lovelies.................

Hello There My Little Turtle Doves,

1.) So yesterday I discovered that I now have 59 readers ! Me love you long time, readers ! So you know what that means ? Ten more readers and I will have the magical 69 !

2.)  Bev in her blog recently talked about the worst movie she has ever seen, which to her, was The Watchmen. Even the sex scene was bad according to her. And if the sex is bad, then it is definitely a waste ! Anyway, she wanted her readers to tell her the worst movie we've ever seen. At the time I couldn't recall the name. But now I can, and my answer is American Me. Basically about a Mexican-American Mafia kinpin and his life after he was released from prison. There are so many Mexican gansters in my area, that this isn't just a movie, it's an ugly reality that takes up most of the time of our local district attorney.

My god, that film was so fucking awful that after I saw it I was angry that two hours of my life were stolen that I would never get back. I think what really got to me was the male rape scene in prison which I totally did not expect in addition to all the other gore in the film. Basically I was in college at the time, living in the dorms and my roommate and our friend had the fabulous idea to watch that film while drinking margaritas. Not even being tipsy helped, and the margaritas were gross. We all hated the movie so much that it became hilarious to us. So hilarious that my old roommate will suggest a reunion to watch American Me and drink cheap margaritas.

3.) Today I was at Subway ordering the footlong. How often do you ask someone to give you 12 inches ? Well I did for lunch, lol. Anyway, there was large guy behind me that for sure I thought was an ex bodyguard turned limo driver. He was huge, and he had absolutely no concept of personal space. Every time I inched closer, he just had to follow. It was like one of those people in traffic that just inches behind you as much as he can, even though you are at a traffic light and have nowhere to go.

What irked me was that the line was long, and I felt suffocated by this behemoth of a dude. I wanted to yell at him and tell him that he was invading my personal bubble. Luckily I didn't do that, as when I was at work, it turns out that he was there too. He could have been a visitor, employee, or executive. I was glad that I didn't lash out.

Anywho my little feathery friends, that is all for now.

Un beso !

Monday, January 11, 2010

A Bittersweet Ending

Hello Little Kittens,

Today was bittersweet for me because Miep Gies passed away. She was the woman who hid Anne Frank and her family and kept the diary. I read about Anne Frank in school, and when I visited Mauthausen in 2005. Though I felt I could relate to Anne Frank as a young woman, I admired Miep Gies a lot more. I always wanted to visit Amsterdam and see the Anne Frank House knowing that Miep Gies, the woman who protected the Franks at that location was still alive and well in the same area. Unfortunately I won't get that chance.

It's bitter that the world lost her today, but sweet that she lived a long, healthy life, that she lived to be 100 years old. We can't live forever, but she lived to be a healthy 100 year old.

She used the word "human duty" when talking about why she risked her life and hid the Franks. She did not want to be known as a hero because she was just doing her human duty. It's something we should all do. We all have our preconceived notions about other people. But when it comes down to it, we are all human.

She really made me think about what I would do if I were in a situation where others depended on me for their survival. I don't know what I would do, but she made me think a lot about it.

She did not want to be admired or thought of as a hero because so many people did more than she did and never got recognition. And she is right, but I can't help but admire her humbleness.

I am a little miffed that her death isn't getting more press, since the Anne Frank Diary is very well known and has been published in so many languages. Tiger Woods and Kate Gosselin with her new stupid glued on extentions are getting more press and that pisses me off. And that stuff doesn't even really matter.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Take a chance and bang me for a change !

Hey Bitches, I am back ! Sassy Senorita has returned with another "manslation". RAWR !

Basically, I copied a real ad off Craigslist. This guy lives in San Francisco and somehow got his hands on "The Secret". The regular font is what this guy is saying, the capital letters are what I think he really means, and the red writing is what I really think.

Ooh, and before I forget, http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/m4w/1546928705.html THAT, is the link to the real ad. So if this somehow interests you, feel free to drop this prize a line.

Okay, here you go !


I seek a very special, yet maybe impossible to find girl. BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.  However, I believe that we live in a Universe that is positive, dynamic and reflective of all we think, feel and do. So..I think if I feel this way, I must do something about it in order to find her..........  I READ "THE SECRET" AND HOPE TO PULL SOME MAGIC OUT OF MY ASS.




You are very beautiful, in fact your beauty has often been a curse as it has become a wall that stops people seeing the true you. BASICALLY YOU HAVE BIG BOOBS, LOW SELF ESTEEM AND WOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT I EVEN TOSS A COMPLIMENT YOUR WAY. You are incredibly sexual, sensual, open and comfortable with your needs. YOU WOULD PUT OUT THE FIRST NIGHT Your nature is to be submissive, yet the irony of your looks is that most men are unable to give you the strength and direction you have always looked for but never found. NOT ONLY DO I WANT YOU TO BE HOT, I WANT YOU TO SERVICE ME WITHOUT ME DOING THAT MUCH IN RETURN. LIKE, I WOULD EXPECT YOU TO BLOW ME, YET I WOULDN'T RETURN THE FAVOR.


You dress in a way that is sometimes provocative, often "head turning" but always with an extra degree of class and style, that sets you apart from others... FUCK CLASS, I WANT SLUTTY !



You are a deep thinker, you have an emotional and sensitive soul that stays protected from the world, behind a facade of independence created to keep your heart safe from disappointment and pain. THAT FACADE OF INDEPENDENCE WOULD BE YOU PAYING FOR ME ON OUR DATES, AND "LOANING" ME MONEY AS TO NOT DISAPPOINT ME.



You are a paradox, you could easily be the most explicit porn star, yet you are intelligent and creative and now seek something more profound in life. AH FUCK IT, WHY EVEN LIE, I WANT A DIRTY, NASTY WHORE OF A WOMAN IN THE BEDROOM. I AM NOT THAT SMART, SO MY STANDARDS AREN'T THAT HIGH IN THE BRAIN DEPARTMENT.



You have searched for love and only found shallow relationships that never fulfilled or uplifted you. YOU ARE SO DESPERATE FOR LOVE, THAT YOU WOULD BELIEVE ME WHEN I THROW YOU A SHALLOW COMPLIMENT.



You have dreamt of being discovered by the one man who will understand, accept and LOVE you for all you have been, all that you have become and all that you are yet to be..He will accept you without judgement or jealousy - without shock or shame...no matter WHAT has happened in your life, he welcomes you with open arms and no condition. BABY, I WILL ACCEPT YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T DO MUCH BETTER. I MEAN LOOK AT ME, I AM UGLY AS FUCK, AND NOT THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT IN THE SKY. I KNOW THIS. I ALSO SAY I AM NOT JEALOUS, BECAUSE IT IS INEVITABLE THAT YOU WILL FIND A BETTER MAN THAN ME.



You want to live a life that is filled with laughter and adventures. Where loyalty, faith and passion are the foundations of a long term relationship. BLAH BLAH BLAH, THERE WILL DEFINITELY BE LAUGHTER IN MY PANTS. AND THE ONLY LOYALTY I REALLY HAVE IS WITH MY PENIS.



You are tired and weary of the world you have lived in so far and you hunger for something that you have never experienced before. BASICALLY, YOU ARE SO BEATEN DOWN BY THE OTHER MEN OUT THERE, THAT YOU WILL TAKE A CHANCE AND EXPERIENCE A CHEAP UGLY FUCK LIKE ME. GO ON, TAKE A CHANCE !



You are not looking to club and get wasted, or party and pass out. I CAN'T AFFORD THE CLUB ENTRANCE FEES You are just as happy to have your hand held whilst sitting in a park, gazing across the City and listening to your lovers words whisper secret messages to you as being blindfolded and taken on a mystery trip to a beautiful location for a long lost weekend. ALL ACTIVITIES SUGGESTED ARE FREE, AND THE BEAUTIFUL LOCATION FOR A LONG LOST WEEKEND WOULD BE AT THE BEACH IN MY FRIEND'S TRAILOR.

You ache to be childlike and naive as well as mature and experienced...to crawl under a "tent" made of sheets spread across sofas and tables and fall asleep in his arms is just as beautiful as sharing a bottle of fine wine whilst watching the sun set.  BASICALLY SUGAR PIE, I WANNA BANG YOU, AND I WANT YOU TO BE NAIVE TO THINK I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU.


You may or may not have close family but you seek a man that will give you the protection, inspiration and the safety to be YOURSELF, nothing hidden, nothing denied...You dream of letting go and trusting...the one thing that has always been so hard for you to do...to TRUST... 

BASICALLY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE CLOSE FAMILY OR FRIENDS, BECAUSE THEN THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT A LOSER I AM, AND WE CAN'T HAVE ANY OF THAT, NOW CAN WE BABY CAKES ? IF I AM THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT THERE ARE BETTER OPTIONS OUT THERE.



There may have been things you have done in your life that you look back in with guilt or shame...PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE A STRIPPER but these don't matter to him, for he loves you for the SOUL inside... LIKE I MENTIONED EARLIER, I CAN'T AFFORD TO BE PICKY AND I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU ARE/WERE A STRIPPER.



You seek a relationship that borders on obsessively loving and needing, but in a healthy way SERIOUSLY, WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY ????  where each are confident in the love of the other and there are no awkward moments or envious arguments..in fact there never need be an argument as LOVE is too important to tarnish with negative energy and bad words...
 BASICALLY SUGAR, I WANT YOU TO BE NEEDY AND THINK I AM THE BEST THING SINCE POTATO CHIPS. THERE WOULD BE NO ARGUMENTS BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE SO NEEDY AND DESPERATE THAT YOU WOULDN'T DARE DO ANYTHING TO UPSET ME.


You love music and artistic ideals, you are kind and empathetic with others..in fact, you are a very loyal friend that gives so much yet gets so little in return..You are often let down by those who you have tried to help the most...sometimes you have to deal with their jealousy or their lack of self confidence around you...but you try to take the moral higher ground and not respond in kind..
 BASICALLY, I WILL DEMAND A LOT OUT OF YOU, WITH SO LITTLE TO GIVE IN RETURN. AND WHEN I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER COCKNOZZLE-DOUCHEBAG TO YOU, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THE "HIGHER ROAD" AND NOT FIGHT BACK.



SERIOUSLY, DOES THIS GUY EVER STOP ?


In your secret innermost thoughts, you need to be lover, partner, best friend, confidante and sex kitten...but this is your paradox, you need to be all these things, but only for one man... I WANT ME TO BE THE ONLY PERSON YOU EVEN TALK TO.



You are not interested in material things anymore (nice and fun though they are) but now you seek the spiritual connection that will let you live life with LOVE in everyway, everyday... You would happily invite me to stay having never even met me because you believe and trust in life…like I do. 
I HOPE YOU DON'T LIKE NICE THINGS, BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SPEND MONEY ON YOU. I HOPE YOU ARE SO NEEDY AND DESPERATE THAT YOU WOULD THROW YOURSELF AT ME JUST BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRYTALE HOLLYWOOD MOVIES.




So if this is YOU, if my words have touched many nerves..if you are genuine and serious in your search for someone that is unlike ANYONE you have ever met before...I wish to hear from you.. I MUST SAY YOU TOUCHED MANY OF MY NERVES IN A STICKING NEEDLES IN MY VEINS AND TWISTING THEM AROUND SORT OF WAY. UNFORTUNATELY, I'VE HEARD OF MEN LIKE YOU BEFORE BECAUSE, HELLO ! IT'S CRAIGSLIST !



I am quite prepared for the fact that no one will reply to this YA THINK ?, as I believe all that I have described here is just the tip of an amazing iceberg of very specific qualities that I SEEK in someone..and maybe she doesn't look at online dating sites...maybe she is still unsure if I exist and has given up her search...maybe she doesnt exist at all..but I don't believe that
BASICALLY I AM LOOKING FOR A HOT WOMAN WITH BIG BOOBS, ZERO SELF ESTEEM, THAT IS SO BEATEN DOWN BY THE WORLD AND OTHER MEN THAT SHE HAPPENS TO STOOP TO THE LOWEST OF THE LOW AND GIVE CRAIGSLIST A TRY AND HOOK UP WITH A PRIZE LIKE ME !



But I have faith...I have such powerful faith... I HAVE SUCH POWERFUL FAITH IN MY PENIS, MY PENIS LIKES BIG BOOBS AND ZERO SELF ESTEEM.



I am quite sincere in this advert, BECAUSE I SINCERELY WANT TO FUCK YOU. I am a real person, YES, I KNOW HOW REAL CRAIGSLIST CAN BE living in the real world and waiting for the ONE girl that will match and balance all I need and all I offer. GOD, I WONDER HOW IT IS POSSIBLE THAT MEN CONTINUE TO EXIST LIKE THIS AND HAVE SUCH EXPECTATIONS/




I am highly creative, passionate, stubborn, driven, successful in my world and devilishly good looking...I would not even place this ad, if I didn't know that all I have detailed here, I reflect and balance in all I have to give.. OMG....... BARF !



Take a chance - reach out and see where we may go... PLEASE TAKE A CHANCE AND BANG THE UGLY SHMOE LIKE ME FOR A CHANGE.


I am here ...I know you are out there somewhere... GOD, I REALLY HOPE THIS LAW OF ATTRACTION SHIT WORKS..



Take some time to tell me about yourself..I would like to see your pictures and really get a feel for the girl who has never done this kind of thing before..fall in LOVE, that is...!
YES, I WANT TO SEE PICTURES, PREFERABLY WITH YOU POSING SLUTTY AND GIVING ME THOSE "COME FUCK ME" EYES OUT OF DESPERATION. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS SORT OF THING, I'LL KNOW YOU ARE LYING. WE CAN PRETEND YOU ARE SHY AND BASHFUL WHEN YOU ARE REALLY A DIRTY GIRL. IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN DO ANY BETTER.
 
 
 
 
LOVE,
 
THE GUY WHO SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO READ LAW-OF - ATTRACTION BOOKS.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Saturday Six

Hello My Little Pancakes,

So today I didn't have to work, so yay for that ! Here are six things that I either did today or things that went through my mind.

1.) I blogged about buying Victoria's Secret bras last week. Today I bought more. But this time they were sports bras. Gotta have support for those girls during a workout !

2.) 2010 has just begun but I have no idea how things will pan out for me this year. I really have no expectations, except that I need to get a legal job. Every day I get out of bed and take each day as it comes, step by step. I feel that I have been dreaming way to long, without acting on it.

3.) I am almost done with the book The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I like the book a lot. He is brilliant, and his books make me think, and make me want to travel. My dad gave me the book, and I think my dad is brilliant.

4.) I went to bellydance practice today and worked on the basics. I just need to start practicing my routine for Rakassah. I already know what song I want to dance to, and I have an idea of how I want to dance.

5.) I bought a beautiful pair of leather bejeweled shoes at the mall today. I bought them from an Indian (from India, not Native American) store. I bet I can fool people into thinking they are for bellydance. They are real pretty. I enjoy collecting bellydance items.

6.) I was happy that I got to stay with my dad over Thanksgiving and see my grandparents and other family members. I love my grandparents so much, and I am lucky that they are still with us. I cherish every holiday that God allows me with them. I didn't get that with my Austrian grandmother and I still miss her and am thankful I got to thank her for all she's done before she passed. I wish I could've told her I loved her one more time. Luckily I've been telling my grandparents that I love them every time we talk.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Embarrasing !

Hello There My Little Frosted Flakes,

I don't know what it is, but I keep ending up in embarrassing situations. Like yesterday and today for example.

Last night I was doing patrols, and I thought the building was empty. And I had to pass gas. I felt the pressure build up, and I had to let it out. So I found an isolated corner to let the honk loose. And not a second more after I farted someone walks by me. What does a girl gotta do around here to fart in peace ????

Of course that wasn't the first time I've done something like that at work. I remember last year while I was sitting at the reception desk a lady came up to me to report some damage to her car or something like that. I was busy trying to reassure her and while I was doing that and making eye contact with her, I accidentally let out a loud fart that vibrated against my office chair. I giggled and appologized profusely, and luckily she said it was fine and that it happens.

Let me say that when it comes to passing gas, I am a lady. I do everything in my power not to fart in front of another person. And if I absolutely have to, I try and make sure it's silent. You know what I mean, right ? Shifting around to find the perfect position so that you toot with no noise.

And don't you be judging me. I know you all pass gas too ! Especially you ladies !

I mean, I was proud of my work, but c'mon ! It was supposed to be a private moment. The guy who walked by me didn't react, thank God, but wow was that awkward !

And today I bought a bookshelf at Target. It was a large box, large enough for me to struggle carrying it. I forgot that I parked far away from the store. I didn't park in front of Target because I started out in front of another store and didn't anticipate buying furniture. It was a last minute purchase.

So after I put it in the cart and hauled it outside, the cart jammed. It looked like a hairball got caught in one of the wheels and jammed it up. So I was in the middle of the parking lot with a cart full of stuff and the large box of furniture and  it would not budge. I looked like an idiot just pulling on that cart to my car.

Anywho my loves, that is all for now.

Un beso !

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A little thrust on Thursday.... On the ground, and maybe in your pants.......

Hello My Little Chocolate Chip Cookies,

So this morning was woken up by a 4.1 quake that hit the SF Bay Area. The funny thing was there was a weaker quake the day before too, but I thought someone may have slammed the door hard above me.

Anyway, I am a little scared of quakes, and when I woke up I was running like a little scared chicken trying to hide out under the doorway. This was not the way I wanted my bed to rock, people !

On another note, the Blockbuster by my place is closing down, and I got a bunch of DVDs super cheap. I even got Vicki Cristina Barcelona for $1.99. Score ! I love collecting movies with Barcelona as the background.

Anyway, today is Thursday and it's time for you visual male creatures to dust off your pelvises for today's Thrust. The latest Victoria's Secret commercial. Well, it came before Christmas.

But I say that it is never to late to have Christmas, at least not in your pants.

! Que le aprovechen mis amores ! (Spanish punctuation sucks on my keyboard)

Love,

Senorita

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The scoop.

Hello There My Little Godiva Chocolates !

I feel a little better compared to yesterday, but not quite. I am still quite pissy, but I am doing an awesome job of hiding it. My boss at work was none the wiser.

As you know this is my first week in my new place, and I am getting used to it all. I still can't believe I moved so fast. I still have to finish unpacking and take the rest of my stuff out of storage by the end of this month.

Other than that, I got a spot at Rakkasah, which is a huge bellydance festival that takes place in March every year. I will be doing my solo, and now I am trying to decide what type of routine I will be doing, and what costume I should wear. Getting a spot was HARD. I had to fight off the busy signals for 8 hours before someone picked up the phone. But I had the patience and I finally got in.

Rakkasah is pretty much every bellydancer's wet dream. Anything you want, you can be (as long as it's not too skanky) or buy. They sell everything you could want in regard to costumes, makeup and props. If I had the cash, I could easily drop over $800 on a tailor made costume. There are also a lot of performers so you get to see different styles. You can be whatever you want, which is nice. I have seen people bellydance to rock music or design interesting costumes that looked nothing like a bellydance costume.

I buy some things there, but I've bought most of my prized dance possessions elsewhere. I got my sword at the mall, because at the fair they sell fake bellydance swords. I wanted the real thing, and got an Iberian scimitar and had a friend dull it down so I wouldn't slice myself. My other professional costume was purchased from my teacher from Egypt. Basically, fairs are a ripoff.

Anyway, that is all for now my little loves. I know I owe you a picture of a hot man because today is Hump Day Hotness, but I have run out of men to lust after. Senorita is very picky.

Ciao y besitos !

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Titillating Tuesday

Hello There My Little Helpless Puppies,

Today I've been in a real bad mood. I woke up on the wrong side of the proverbial bed so today's post came a little later. Tomorrow is another day.

So no talking really. Today is all about more showing for all you visual creatures out there. Below is a song from Rockefeller that first came out when I was living in Barcelona, Spain. It was my favorite song, I did work in an office with a bunch of horndog men like that. Us girls didn't pull any stunts like that, but that didn't stop the men from gawking.

Telemarketing + financial investment opportunitues = an office full of horney men that lie for a living and sexually harass everything with two tits and a heartbeat.

I miss Barcelona terribly. But I don't miss the telemarketing office I worked for.


Monday, January 4, 2010

2009 Reflections and Hopes for 2010

Hello There My Little Blueberry Waffles,

So below is a copy and paste from my blog entry from January 2009 where I reflected on 2008. Always interesting to look back and see what I was going through. And I will be adding a little commentary in color.


To sum up 2008, here are some of the things that I did, or consider to be memorable in no particular order....... And I will add what happened in 2009.




1.) I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. I completely cut him out of my life in 2009 after he told me he got engaged. No such thing as "just friends" and no such thing as me talking to a married dude.

2.) I paid off all my credit cards. I paid off my car in 2009. I am knocking on wood as I type this because I hope it continues to run well.

3.) I lost the weight I gained while I dated said boyfriend. I maintained it in 2009.

4.) I got back into bellydance and actually performed again. I danced in two festivals in 2009 and met some wonderful ladies.

5.) I got an internship with the Office of the Public Defender. I finished that internship in 2009 and continue to volunteer elsewhere.

6.) I moved into a new place. My roommate lost his job shortly after, his visa in the country expired, and he had to fly back home, and I moved in with a friend.

7.) I danced with my bellydance idol Tito at his workshop. I haven't been able to find him in 2009, and flying to Egypt for his workshop is just way to expensive.

8.) I had some family drama, but we managed to come to an agreement, and our relationship is better. The drama has been over, and 2009 was peaceful.



Here are my hopes for 2009 in no particular order.............



1.) Graduate and get my certificate I got my AA degree in Paralegal studies and had some great interviews in 2009. Unfortunately I am still a little inexperienced compared to the competition.

2.) Get a new job and settle into my career. I certainly put myself out there in 2009 and had plenty of interviews.

3.) Get braces. In 2009, I found out that I didn't really need braces. I actually got diagnosed with TMJ and require a lot more care.

4.) Start putting money into my 401K again. Hahahahahahaha, sorry, nothing at all happened in this department in 2009.

5.) Get back to the weight I was in college. Hahahahahaha ! I wasn't a lard ass, but it isn't what it once was. And that is my ass I am referring to.


Dating and finding love is not on the list, even though it is one of my biggest hopes in life. First of all, I won't really be happy until the above goals are accomplished and I feel established. This was very true for me in 2009. I went out on one coffee date that resulted in nothing after Valentines Day. After that, no dates or action whatsoever. I was completely closed off in 2009. Whatever happens in 2010 happens.



Second, I still need time to reflect on what I really want out of life, and I think it's important for me to be single for a while. I don't know how long that will be. Sometimes I think I am meant to be this way forever. But for now it works.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I am more ready for a relationship this year, than I was last year, and that is all I can say. And I learned a lot about myself and about what I want out of life.
 
So that is all for now, I already posted my goals for 2010 in my private journal.
 
Besitos !

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Done

Hello There My Little Turtle Doves,

I am exhausted from moving. My ass muscles actually hurt from climbing steps and hauling stuff into my new place. I can't believe I did it. I picked up and moved within a two week period, from thinking about the move to actually being here. This was really a spur of the moment thing.

After I hauled the last of my stuff upstairs, handed my keys to the former landlady and hugged and thanked her, I decided to take it easy and go out by myself. I just wanted to chill out alone.

I decided to go to IHop and eat a Belgian waffle, read a book and then go to the mall. I practically inhaled that waffle and it was real good. I am hungry again, there is no food in my new place.

Did you ladies know that Victoria's Secret is having its Semi Annual sale ? Well they are, and I refuse to buy any other bra. It just doesn't feel right if it's not Victoria's Secret. Most of the other bras in my size are frumpy ones that make me look and feel like your average bovine. And the one time I thought I found a nice bra from Ross at dirt cheap price ? Well, one boob cup was bigger than the other and it was obvious. I can assure you that while most of us don't have perfect breasts, we aren't shaped like that. I mean, c'mon now.

So yeah, I racked up some charges to buy a bunch of new boobie holders. Because the savings were pretty sweet, and this is my yearly ritual. And now you know. You're welcome.

After that, I saw It's Complicated with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep. I actually loved the movie, especially Meryl Streep. I wanted to see it to make fun of Alec Baldwin playing the cliche married cheating middle-aged douchebag that actually said "OMG". He did a great job and he made me laugh.

Well my little featherballs, that is all for now.

Abrazos y besos !

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year !

Hi Kittens,

Happy New Year ! I did not do anything special, I actually worked until midnight. I am also working today so I am happy that I am getting paid ! Unfortunately I started off today at work with someone on our site having an accident. Right as I arrived. Poor guy.

I also just moved, so I am in my new place. I have to pick up another carload tonight and then I am officially out. This was such a last minute decision that I made two weeks ago. I didn't even think about moving until the week before Christmas. Luckily because most of my stuff is in storage, moving has been easy for me. The people I lived with have been nice and we were friends before I moved in, so they didn't piss me off or anything. I just needed more space.

I have another month to clean out my storage unit and I plan to give away a lot of stuff. I don't believe in selling it, I would rather see it go to people out there who are down on their luck and there are a lot of people out there. I think that as long as you have a roof over your head, and food on the table that you are lucky. I sure feel lucky.

I am a very sentimental person, and since I was 15 I have saved every card/letter/wedding invite that anyone has ever given me. So I decided to make some changes, and I threw out a lot of stuff that I've saved from people I haven't seen in years that I've kept in storage. Or stuff from friends that I've lost contact with. All I really keep now is stuff from my family. I still have all the letters and cards from my grandparents, parents and family in Austria.

I also looked through my box of photographs I used to take as a child. I was such a curious kid and the littlest things fascinated me such as sunsets, squirrels, flowers, buildings. They still do, which is apparent on my photo blog. I thought my pictures back then were good. My dad loves to snap pictures and I wanted to be like him. But looking back, my pictures weren't that good even though I was convinced I they were. Thank GOD for digital cameras is all I have to say. I got rid of most of the pictures I had accumulated, as I have it all on negatives.

As for my new years resolutions, I have a few. My main one is getting a job in my field. That and maybe getting a place on my own by the end of the year. The place I am moving into is pretty nice, but I am still sharing it.

Anyway, that is all for now my little furballs.

Oh, speaking of furballs, here is a little something I think you kitty lovers out there could appreciate:



Abrazos y besitos !