Saturday, December 31, 2011

Bye Bye 2011 !

Hello Kitty Cats :)

So another year has passed us by. Say hello to 2012 !

I hope you had a nice Xmas ! I saw my family. I had a wonderful dinner with my grandparents. Some of the foods I indulged in were: Spaghetti, cheesy garlic bread, prime rib, vegetables, chocolate silk pie with an oreo cookie crust. My grandparents were cute and in love as always. My grandpa is such a doting gentleman to my grandmother, and it is so precious to see, and I always enjoy reading the love notes he leaves her.

My grandmother told me stories about the good old days, and she showed me some of her jewelry collection. I don't really like jewelry that much, and don't really wear anything unless it's given to me. My grandma gave me some cool retro jewelry. She gave me costume earrings from the 1950s. Not with the clips, but the ones that you have to tighten the post on your earlobe. I also got a necklace her friend made for her, and her prized bracelet that she bought 60 years ago in Italy. Since we both have very tiny wrists, it was a perfect match. I am happy that I will be able to keep this jewelry in the family.

I just had my blogiversary on December 29th. I've been blogging for 8 years now. I can't believe how fast time flies.

This year was good to me (assuming that tonite is uneventful). I was able to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family and I had my health. That is always important, you can't replace family memories or pay for health. I also visited family in Austria over the summer as well as spending time with my friend in the Netherlands. So in a nutshell here is what happened to me in 2011........

-- Moved
-- Got a new job
-- Quit my part time security job
-- Took a vacation

I had hurdles, the biggest being my fight with depression. I decided in January that I would take medication. It took a lot to come to that, since I've battled it out for ten years without meds, but I just decided that it was too much to bear and I got on medication. I really had to swallow my pride and admit that I need help. But unless people suffer from the same thing, they really have no idea what it's like, that it's not a passing phase, and that I can't just get over it.

It's not something I like to admit to having, but anxiety and depression run in the family so I know that it's not all me, and that I am in good company. If I could have things my way, I would never leave the house. I could stay holed up in here forever. I could die alone and not really bat an eyelash. Yeah, when I think about future plans,I wonder if I will ever end up getting married or at least being in a relationship, but on a day-to-day basis I could go home to an empty house every day and not think twice. I could step out of the house with no make-up and shabby clothes and not give a shit. It's a far cry from when I was in my early twenties and had to have my hair and makeup done before leaving the house.

The hardest part of this all for me is knowing I have a lot to be grateful for and having lots of opportunities to be happy, but not being able to feel the full effect of the happiness I should be feeling. I am grateful for what I have, I just wish I could feel true happiness along with it. Sometimes I do, but not as often as I like. For me, a day where I just feel normal is a success. When those days come, I cherish them.

Before I was on medication, my emotions were all over the place. Imagine you are sitting at a red light, and see a car behind you. You know it's gonna hit you, and that you can't go anywhere and just have to sit there and take it. How you'd feel for those seconds before getting hit, was how I was feeling all day, every day. When I would talk to men, I had the urge to hide, I would avoid eye-contact, I would just put out the "don't talk to me" vibes, but then wonder why I was so alone all the time.

The medication has taken the edge off, but it does make you a little numb. I am not feeling the extreme highs and lows right now. But that's okay. I would rather be numb right now than to take a risk and feel anxious all the time like I was feeling. Sometimes I think we are all just a step or two away from going crazy.

When I see shows like Intervention or Hoarders or I see homeless people on the street, while other people are talking about how crazy they are or how they could never end up that way, I think that we are always a step or two away from losing our shit and acting out.

Battling my feelings like this has really humbled be and made me less judgemental and more compassionate to others. It has definitely knocked me down a few notches and made me realize that I don't have all the answers, and that I feel more compassion for people when they lose it. That they can be down and get back up again, and that nothing in life is permanent.

So yeah, that's all for now. Please feel free to leave me comments or e-mail me if you have any questions or want to talk or commiserate.

Have a Happy 2012 and count your blessings :)

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Why Is It Wednesday........but on a Sunday

What's Up Kitty Cats ?

I've just come up with a new theme......... Why Is It Wednesday. But since I will be too worn out to post this on Wed, I will just post it today, Sunday.

So yeah...... Why Is It Wednesday........ Basically shit that happens that make you go ""Why? Just Why?

So now let's get down to business and help me answer this question...................

Why is it that when I am at work have my workspace corner all to myself and want to fart in peace, someone has to come over and insist that they fix my computer ? AT THAT MOMENT ? Why ????? It wasn't important when I first complained.

So yeah, I have a desk corner all to myself, and sometimes I am gassy. I know I am supposed to be a lady and all, but I come from a family that farts, especially in the mornings. I laugh at other peoples' farts too. Especially if the offenders are family members or are old. Bonus if they are both. I know, I am going to Hell.

So I get to work, I don't see anyone in the office and I just had to let a few rip, and since I was early, I just let it out. I'm not gonna lie. SBDs all the way. Don't know what that means ? Google it.

Anyway, the IT guy comes by my office. He is usually not there that early, and he wants to make sure my comp is updated. I was trying to talk to him while I was sitting at my desk so he wouldn't come closer. I even put scented lotion on my hands and fanned my face to hope the lotion scent would spread. But he said it would just take a minute. Since I didn't want to say "Hey man, I just farted, I am waiting for it all to dissolve in thin air, could you please come back"? I just told him to help himself and to take his time and I ran to the kitchen to hide. I couldn't look at him for the rest of the day.

This wasn't the first time something like this would happen. When I was working at Staples and stocked office supplies during Back to School Week, people all of a sudden decided that they just had to ask me about pencils right when I needed to let the honk loose. I mean, this woman came up to me, I answered her question, walked away to fart and she ran right back and had a bunch of questions, following me.

You know when you read a cereal box, it sometimes says on the label that sometimes the contents settle during a freight shipment.

Well, for eight hours or so, my "contents" settle and when I wake up, it's time for some of it to be let out, aka letting the ducks out.

Before you think I am just plain nasty, I make sure that I am all by myself when I do this. Unless I am traveling with my brother, then it's fair game. For the both of us. I've been scolded on how I will never find a man, blah blah blah...... but I don't fart on dates, or in the company of men I am going out with for that matter.

Anyway, that is all for now my little furballs..............

Besitos !!!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Ghettofabulousness !

What's Up My Little Rosebuds ?

I am gonna make this short and sweet. As you know, I got a new job a couple of months ago. I work in a lawfirm in a nice area, pretty much next to nice neighborhoods. Our office looks kinda retro in a 1970s porno film kinda way. You've got the blue worn down shaggy carpeting, the chintzy mirrored 1970s "executive looking" elevators. All we're really missing is some "bowm chicka bowm bowm" music and a hairy middle-aged man with a handlebar mustache and his woman with a bad bottle-blonde perm and whore red nails and lipstick. I can deal with that. It gives the place character.

What I can't deal with is getting stuck on the fucking elevator. Three weeks into working there, I get stuck. I work on the fifth floor. I get in one morning with my tall Starbucks drink. As I reach the fifth floor, it immediately goes back down, and repeats about 5 more times before I start to panic. It's the ride from Hell. I push the stop button, and it gets stuck. I call the operator.  I am telling them I am a little scared because the elevator sometimes moves without opening and I am I am a little claustrophobic. They told me that the elevator guy was on his way, but to just sit there, because I am not going anywhere. No shit Sherlock ! You know how I know that ? The doors are closed and I can't get out !

I got out 30 minutes later, but I was late for work, and while I was waiting to get out, I couldn't even enjoy my morning coffee because I didn't want to have the urge to go to the bathroom. I didn't know when I was gonna get out at the time.

What else......

Ah yes, our bathrooms are skankalicious. I can't believe they charge for tampons, ten cents a pop. Building management tampons/ pads are horrible. It's like shoving cardboard up your snatch. But if you decide to opt for maxi pads instead, it's like ripping out the stuffing from a cheap comfortor and shoving it in your panties. I can't believe they charge for that. Our office pays the lease AND building management gave out free coffee and biscottis to show their appreciation to tenants. Free products for Aunt Flo's visit should be a no-brainer.

Anywhooters, like I was saying about the tampon machine, apparently someone has been raiding the tampon machine. It takes dimes. I recently found a sign affixed to the machine stating that the machine never carries more than 50cents at one time because it is emptied daily. I understand people trying to break into a soda machine, or going after a taxi driver, but a tampon machine when the product quality is so poor, that they chafe your lady bits ? First off, you're not gonna hit it big when you raid the tampon machine, and another thing, no one really buys that shit, so what are you gonna get, $2 ?

Anywhosies, I better log off now, but don't you think for a second that I am done ranting. I have plenty more to say, just not now.

Ciao for now !

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Yay ! A Dating Post !

Hello Lovies !!

Thanks for all your comments, I didn't realize anyone missed me while I was gone. I feel so loved. People in the blogging world are dropping like flies, especially with other social media outlets like Facebook around.

A couple of things happened lately........

1.) I got a new job, as I mentioned,
2.) I had another birthday on Nov. 30th.

Okay, enough chitty chat and down to business !

Dating..............

I have a love/hate relationship with dating. Dating is totally necessary in finding a mate, and it can be a lot of fun when done properly and both parties are behaving. But when it's bad, it's bad, lol. But when life hands you lemons, you make a margarita, right ? I like to take my awkward moments and blog about them and use this as a platform to educate all the raging douchelords disguised as normal gentlemen whom God allows to wander around the men who may need a little assistance in proper dating protocol.

So............. I have been living at my current place for about ten months now. There is this guy directly across from me (and our garages are only a few feet across from each other). We never talked, but I caught him checking out my ass while he was in his car and I was getting something from the trunk.

About 7 months into it, I said hello and introduced myself, and he told me his name, talked for a few minutes, he mentioned his female roommate. Nothing more. Besides, I had a date that night and had to get ready.

A month ago, he pulls up while I am taking out the trash and invites me for "coffee" and I gave him my number. (Hey, he already knows where I live and he is cute).

The next day he texts me and asks me if I am single, and I told him I am. He then tells me that he is not. I asked if his girlfriend lives with him, and he said yes, and that his is on a business trip. So the girl that I thought was his roommate was his girlfriend ? He told my roommate that she was his "adopted sister". Whatevers. I thought that would be the end of his texts.

So a couple of days ago he texts me and invites me over for "coffee". At night. Yeah, um would that coffee be   served with a side of your penis by any chance?

I told him I would be interested when he no longer has a girlfriend. He then tells me two things:

1.) I should loosen up, life is short, yada yada.......
2.) He is bored and needs something to do.

I told him, that is a great idea and that to scratch his itch, he should go and find someone other than his neighbor to help him out .

He then got mad and called me "mean". He then told me he was just trying to be friendly and that his intentions were nothing but good. What are we, in grade school now ? Your next door neighbor doesn't want coffee with a side of penis that belongs to some other chick, and now I am the mean one?

And good intentions ? So he hit me up for a "night cap" disguised as "coffee" because he thought that I had a wonderful personality, and it had nothing to do with my ass or boobs he was looking at ? When he said "good intentions" he was probably referring to the good party he was having in his pants.

I told him to take a chill pill and stop whining, and he tried to tell me how I need to have more fun and that I don't know what fun is and boo hoo the next door neighbor doesn't want coffee with a side of the twig and berries and how he can show me what fun is.........

I am no longer responding to his texts and will continue to avoid him aka close the garage immediately once I get home.......

Here is the takeaway of the story.....................

1.) Hot next door neighbors are hawt! Unless that person is taken......... Then its just awkward and creepy.

2.) Always, always, ALWAYS ask if that person is taken, or you know, MARRIED. After I gave him my number, I realized that I forgot to ask him, and just as I was about to ask him two seconds later, his phone rang and he was talking to "one of his boyz" and I didn't feel like standing there like a fool to wait, so I just left. I figured he wouldn't lie or hide the truth since we lived next to each other. Him taking that call in front of me like that and leaving me waiting was another red flag I should have paid attention to.

Ladies, never assume the man you are talking to is single because he is on you like a fly in honey. Men flirt because then can, sometimes it's genuine, sometimes it is a sport. Dating is sometimes like a gym contract being sold to you by one of those "personal trainers" at a franchise gym that needs to meet his quota. You have to do some of your own homework and ask certain questions before signing or in this case, giving out your phone number. Because if you don't, and you find out Mr. Coffee with a side of Penis is really taken, he can easily come back at you and say "Well, I didn't lie, you just never asked". And unfortunately, he is kinda right. Yeah, he made a douche move, but on the other hand, you should have asked.

Now where was I ?

Oh yeah....

#3.) I don't know what it is with men, (male friends AND dating prospects) that call me or text me or IM me and say that they are talking to me because they are bored. Not because they haven't heard from me, or are wondering how I am doing, but because.......THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. They are bored and feel it's okay to say something like that directly to me.

So that means that they have exhausted all of their other possibilities such as going out with their friends, watching sports, spanking the monkey, so now I guess, they will just call me up because it will pass time.

My female friends don't say that shit to me, why do guys think it's okay? And they think this is supposed to make me feel better and jump at the chance to go out or hang out ?

When a guy says something like that, I just turn it down, no matter how bored I am. I could be bored out of my ass, and I am still not jumping at the opportunity to hang out with someone else who felt like I was the last option on earth. I would rather sleep.

So again, moral of the story...................

1.) Don't date your neighbor if he is taken....... Duh !
2.) Make sure to ask prospective men if they are taken or married. And "it's complicated" means that he most definitely taken.............
3.) Avoid "bored"  men.

Okay, so this was a long post (yeah, I said "long"). Please feel free to add new ideas. And men, please don't take this post personally or feel like I am beating up on the male population. Please don't tell me how women do the same thing, because I don't care. I know, we can be handfuls too, but I don't date chicks, and I don't break these rules, so please save it...........

Okay, I am really going now.

Peace, Love, Hugs, Shimmies and Kisses !

-Senorita