Titillating Tuesday

Well What's Up Buttercups ?

Well, today wasn't that titillating. Just had to get your attention to perk you right up ! And now I shall keep you abreast of what's been going on in my life.

Numero Uno:

My grandmother had to have a valve in her heart replaced, and not only did the operation turn out great, but the doctor and staff at the hospital were wonderful. My grandpa was quite the doting husband, and it was wonderful to see my grandma loved and taken care of and the family together. It was sweet to see them leave the hospital together. The prodecure and product is brand new, it is a trial before it hits the market, and it basically has saved my grandmother's life and I am very grateful for that. Life is not perfect, but we all have blessings in life, and this is one I will always cherish. The doctor said that grandmothers are the glue to families

2.) I have extremely dry eyes that have been bothering me for years. I finally went to the eye doc, and I was prescribed two types of eye drops, one I could only buy at the doc's office and the other that requires a prescription. The drops requiring a prescription would cost over $300 without my insurance. Can you believe that shit ? Eye drops people ! Dry eyes ! Not a fatal disease. Thankfully I only have to pay $30 with my insurance.

3.) Commercials these days are something else. You know how to tell that we as a nation are becoming a fat tub of lard ? When companies like Pepsi advertise that they are using real sugar instead of corn syrup. When real sugar is becoming the selling point, you know we are going to fat hell. I know that while I was growing up, we were taught to stay far away from sodas, sugar and candy. That they rot your teach. And now sugar is seen as a healthier option ?

Same thing with Wendy's fries. They use sea salt as a selling point. Who the eff cares ? It's salt and all that salt is still bad for you. But because it comes from the ocean it's supposed to be healthier ?

Okay, so I am off my sugar and salt box, loves ! Time to finish watching Law and Order SVU.

Scuze Moi ! Could you please move your big, fat naked ass away from my face !?!?

Well Hello There Kittens !

Miss me ?

So I've been going to the gym lately and in the gym, there is always the lockerroom.........

The women in my lockerroom like to take their sweet time in putting clothes on. They do everything else first, drying their hair, putting on makeup, taking to the person next to them, before...... God forbid they put some underpants on ! And for all you horndogs reading this and wishing that you were in my shoes, not so fast !These ladies are probably not your type.

I am not that bothered by nudity, but I do get a little peeved by seeing naked people sitting on the same benches and chairs that I sit on when tying my shoes or when I put my gymbag down. NAKED VAG ALERT !!!!

You know what else I noticed ? That somehow naked people unintentionally gravitate towards me.

The other day when I came in I noticed a .......how do I say this....... tall, "big-boned" naked chick just taking her sweet naked time drying her hair. When I walked in, I noticed her BIG red ass, mainly because it was facing my direction when I walked in. It looked like it broke out in a little rash. But I was like, whateves......... because she was in the opposite corner from me.

So I wandered over to my bench, and proceeded to sit down. A minute later Baby Rash Ass moseys on over to my section and proceeds to gab with her friend (ALSO NAKED). I couldn't move sections because I needed a day locker, so I just had to get dressed.

So they were gabbing and giggling and I was rushing to get dressed, and then Baby Rash Ass bends down in front of me and my face was a out a foot away from her big ass ! She put everything else on and her panties were the last to go on ! Like WTF !!!!!!  What is so bad about putting on underwear ?

Anyway, I just had to let that out. Lately I've been running outside, so I can avoid the gym shennanigans.

I have a lot more to post, but I can't possibly write that in the same blog post that talks about naked butt.

Anywhoosies, I will talk to you later.

Besitos !!!!

How Many Pervs Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb ?

What's Up My Little Tulips ?

So as you know, I live in the SF Bay Area, and the weather has been sucking hard lately. Last night, I saw some guy go through the trash across the street to take the trash bag can to use as a raincoat. And the weather will continue to blow huge whale ass like this for at least another week. No likey :(

So anywhooters, I've been doing some cleaning around the house and assembling a lamp for my room.

It's been a while since I've assembled a lamp, so I must've forgotten how dirty it can be......

Allow me to elaborate. Here are a couple of the steps from the instructions.......

-- Screw the lower tube onto the threaded nipple of the base.
-- Screw socket onto upper tube

And remember........ when it gets dirty, don't use polish, wipe it clean with a soft cloth or rag !

If you will excuse me, I have to finish screwing in the light bulb.

Tootles !

TMI Tuesday on a Friday !

What's Up My Little Chocolate Chips ?

So I have a survey that I snaked from a fellow reader. It's a little TMI, but whateves.........

Feel free to snatch it from me, after all, it wasn't mine to begin with !

TMI Tuesday questions

1. How old are you?

30

2. What’s your favorite color? I like blue, but no rainbow is complete without yellow


3. First car you ever had sex in? Sorry, I refuse to answer this question because my father reads this blog.


4. Favorite rated R movie? Jackass, all of them


5. Favorite flavor of Popsicle? Lime or orange


6. Banana or apple? Apple


7. Favorite Jersey shore character? Snookie or Pauly D


8. Are your nails painted and if so what color? They are painted a shiny teal.


9. Favorite animal? Currently my friend's dog, who I've been spoiling lately


10. If you could bang a Disney character who would it be? Probably Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid.


11. What time is bed time? Usually too late for my own good.

12. Do you have kids? No, I can barely remember to water my roommate's plants.


13. Last time you bought a toilet brush? Last week


15. Bubble bath or long hot shower? Long hot shower.



16. Can you speak a foreign language? Spanish and German


17. Describe yourself in 2 words? Bullshit Detector


18. How many tattoos do you have if any? None, I could never imagine myself with a butterfly trampstamp that turned into a teradactyl with old age.

19. How do you like your eggs? Poached


20. How do you get rid of a hickey… I've never had to cover one up, but what else is coverup for !


21. Favorite color to wear.  Black, it makes my ass look smaller.

Jury Duty and Smut

Hello There My Little Peeps,

How are you doing loves ?

I am gonna keep this short because I need to get to bed, but I wanna let you know that despite my strong desire to be a recluse, I have been reading some of your blogs. Please forgive me for being such a lousy blog friend. I fully intend to make my rounds soon.

Okay, so enough ass kissing, let me fill you in on the latest................

1.) Doing taxes blows. It really sucks huge whale ass and dinosaur dong. And to add insult to injury, I am getting waaaay less in my refund than last year. Uncle Sam is really bending me over without even a kiss after. :(

2.) What else........ Ah yes, today I went to pick up my mail from my old roommate's house and I got two pieces of mail. Can you guess what I got ? Anyone ?

I got a notice for jury duty and smut. Pretty nice combo, huh ? I got my jury duty notice less than a year ago, and now I got another one.

Then I got smut in a red envelope. On the return address it had "X rated pictures" and some P.O. Box, and when I opened it up, there were cheap 8x10 black and white printouts of some nasty graphic shit. There was no 800 number to call, no advertisement, so to speak, so I wondered what the reason for that was. I swear, I thought my old roommate played a prank on me so I left him with the pictures. We both did have a laugh because the people in those pics looked like the chicks in Girls Gone Wild but 30 years and 50 pounds later.

Fun times, I tell you. And now I must go to bed.

Besitos !