Tell Me How you Really Feel...............

What's Up My Little Muffins ?

So today I will talk about things I like, don't like, and things that straight up bug the hell out of me.


Fads/Trends/ Popular Products I am NOT into............


iPhone, or any smartphone for that matter --- I have a Motorola Crazr that came out around 2006/2007 and since it still works, I will continue to use it. If I get a smartphone, I will have to pay at least $30 a month more for internet. No spank you, and besides, those phones are getting too big. I like my phone because it is small, and can fit into just about any handbag, or even in my bra.



Twitter-- I will just stick to my blog, I already have followers here and here I can write as much as I want to. Twitter is lucky I am not up there. I would just tweet my bathroom escapades such as every dump I've taken.


Taking pictures of myself and posting them on facebook.-- If you want to show how hot you look, then at least get someone else to take the pic for you, or get the angling right so it looks like you tried not to make it look like a self portrait. Extra douchebag points if you pose with a kissy face. Tack on twattery points to that if you also pose with gang signs or sideways peace signs in addition to your kissy face.

Ipads-- No offense but Apple can suck it. I've never taken to their products. And they are way too expensive.


Fads I am into:



Facebook-- Part of why I don't post so much up here anymore, is I am always busy harassing my FB friends. Want me to harass you too ? Add me.


Reality TV Shows-- I watch most of them : The Real Housewives Series, Mob Wives, Jersey Shore..... You're Mom's a Whore...... Just kidding, there isn't a show like that, and I would never insult your mother. Was just seeing if you were paying attention.



Starbucks- Don't judge me. I am Starbucks loyal and can't stand Peet's. My friend gave me two gift cards for Starbucks, and it was the best gift EVER !



Expensive handbags-- True, I like namebrand handbags, but I will usually score my finds from Goodwill or friends.

--Expensive Foundation for my face. Estee Lauder rules !



--Department store perfume



Trends I am starting to Shy away from..............



- Expensive undergarments. I used to buy my bras only from Victoria's Secret because they used to be the only place that had nice bras with support without making me look like a fat cow with a dangling udder problem. Lately I've been finding nice bras in my size at Target or other discount stores. AND on clearance. So peace out VS Bitches !

-- Expensive shampoo. So I used to only buy top of the line shampoos, but I don't feel like it anymore.


Political Correctness/ Trends in Society , Past and Current that I've never taken a liking to.........



-- Carb diet. Two words: FUCK THAT !!!! I have family in Europe and have lived abroad. We love our carbs over there, and I have never given them up, nor will I do so here. I ate a healthy, well balanced diet in countries like France, Austria and Spain because I also mixed up a lot of veggies in my pasta, ate bread in moderation and did a lot of activities like walking everywhere, hiking or swimming.



-- The Going Green Fad. Don't even get me started. Before this became uber popular here in the US, people in Europe were already sorting their trash, recycling and only using resources such as electricity and water that they needed and it was no big deal. I was brought up to do the same. I am more than happy to sort my trash and turn off the lights after use LIKE I HAVE ALWAYS DONE.


I am just sick of all the babying and media hype to this and how bossy people can become all in the name of "going green". My building at work won't even let us use desk heaters that go under the desk anymore. How companies proudly display that they are recycling and it's supposed to win brownie points (when it should be a given), or how companies can charge more for their products and give you less product because they are "environmentally friendly". And I usually doubt their claims and wonder how "environmentally friendly" they really are. How compostable their materials really are.



--Organic produce. Whatever. To me, fruit is fruit and same with veggies, and if I am really hard up for organic products, I will just grow them myself. But since I am lazy and don't care either way, I am happy to buy produce at the grocery store. I don't believe those bs claims that organic produce is healthier, and I really doubt that produce that is sold in mass quantities is truly "organic". To me, anything grown in the ground and picked is organic, because it comes from the earth.



--People that eat fish or chicken yet still call themselves a vegetarian. No you're not, Stop........



-- Bullying and how the media throws around the term. I am totally against bullying. It breaks my heart when I read in the paper how a child got bullied in school. I was bullied in school. It sucks. I think more should be done to combat that.



What I don't agree with is when adults loosely throw around the term, claiming they were "bullied' just because they got into an argument with another adult or were verbally confronted by a group of other people. If you watch reality TV (such as the Real Housewives) those women are notorious for abusing the term. That is lame.




Charities.... Now please hear me out, I am all for donating. I have volunteered a lot of my time, and I respect people that give. My family is full of people that have donated their time and a lot of money. That's not the problem. The problem I have with it is when people feel entitled to harass you for your money just because "it's going to a good cause."



It always annoys me when I see people on reality TV shows throwing charity parties, and trying to convince everyone they are fabulous because they are donating money, yet there is always petty drama at these "parties". It kind of takes away from the spirit of giving.





It also gets on my nerves when I see "corporate panhandling", like Safeway for example. They raise money for various causes, which tend to change sometimes and sometimes have people posted throughout the store to ask for donations, or post up the names of clerks and how much money they have raised and treat it like a competition. I remember one day they were raising money for people with special needs, and had their employees with special needs posted on each corner of the store to do the asking.



I remember shopping at Ross, and each clerk asked you to donate. And if you donated, they announced your name and said you donated to the rest of the store. How tacky is that ? What about the people that couldn't ? They knew who you were.



I don't believe that all of the money raised would be for charity anyway. Not only are there tax exemptions, but I am sure someone is getting paid a nice, hefty salary for fundraising at a corporation. How much of that money is going to the true cause ? Until I can know that percentage, no way am I parting with my money.


-- Fancy names for low paying jobs. Do you make sandwiches at Subway ? Then you are a "sandwhich artist".

Are you a receptionist ? Then you are a "lobby embassador".



I do security part time, and if you ever call me a security guard, I would have to correct you and say that I am an "officer" or a "Security Specialist". (no I wouldn't)



When I lived in the dorms in college, the janitor introduced himself as the "sanitation engineer."



I guess that due to the bad economy, the high turnover rates in these positions, and the piss poor benefits that these jobs have, the only thing that can be done for these people is to give them flashy job titles.

BONUS*** Things that annoy me about dating............


-- When men take self portraits of themselves in the mirror. Bonus douchebag points if he takes the picture in the bathroom with his shirt off.

--When men write their profiles in all caps or with such poor spelling and grammar.


--When men don't treat me like a lady and pay for my meal and claim it's because the "feminists" screwed it up for the rest of us and that us women cry that we want to be equal.
-- When men tell me about their jobs and nice material possessions, and then label me a gold-digger for asking questions after they were the ones to start the conversation. (Otherwise I don't discuss those things.)

--When men write in their profiles that they enjoy "intelligent conversation". As opposed to what ? Dumbass douchebag babble ?



If you are a man and feel like I am manhating, I am not, and since I am not dating women, I can't really write the annoying shit that women do when dating. But....... I can write annoying shit that women do in general......


Here goes..........



-Women that go to the bathroom in groups. It annoys me when I have to listen to other chicks babble in the bathroom when I am trying to piss or dump in peace.
- Women that walk right behind me (when there is other space) and wear heels that click real loud.

- The women that straighten their hair in the bathroom at work, and it really bothers me when it smells like burning hair.


Okay, that is all for now. Time for me to step off my soapbox and call it a night.

My Dad Wanted Me to Post........

What's Up My Little Peeps ?

So what's up ? Miss me ? After I am done posting, I will be making my rounds on your bloggies because that's what bloggy friends do.......... Even though I have been reading, I've been a little lazy on the commenting. Like for example, my BFF Ashleigh's blog......

So my Old Man e-mailed me and told me to update my blog because he is tired of looking at the picture in the post below. You know, that one of the greasy dude with his open heavage or shall I say greasy moobies. So to appease him, I will post other pics......

Is it wrong that I find this hilarious ?

Is it disturbing that even though there is a huge front butt in the picture that I still think that the chocolate chip cookie looks good ?

And if you eat too many cookies, you won't just have a front butt problem. This could also become a reality.........



I mean, seriously...... What the fucking FUCK ? Look, I know that weight can creep up on you over time. I think we've all been there, and then one day you have a serious "oh Hell no" moment when looking in the mirror.

But for some people that moment never comes. Even if your BACK FAT hangs over your mom jeans. I don't think that she tied that herself, so whoever tied the strings together did her a HUGE disservice by even allowing her to walk out of the house. Or maybe that person was mad at her. I guess we will never know.

But, when life hands you lemons, you gotta make lemonade right ? Or shall I say, when life hands you an extra pair of titties (even when they are on your back like that) you gotta make an extra glass of milk ! I guess what I am trying to say, is that there is always a bright side to things. The glass CAN be half full.

Allow me to elaborate.............

1.) This woman can be some man's fantasy........ Men love boobs !! Now men can have titties in their faces at different angles. The man in front of her ? No problem ! The man behind her ? No sweat ! Definitely a crowd  pleaser.

2.) With TWO pairs of titties, now she has a greater chance of detecting breast cancer. She can get two mammograms. One from the front and one from the back. Painful ? Yes ! But better earlier detection makes it all worth it.

3.) One guy said it best. He said that this is great for a guy because now he can finally can titty-Fu** a girl while she is laying on her stomach.

So that is all for now my little babies !

Besitos !!!!

Interesting.........................

What's Up My Little Daffodils ?

So I wanted to have a little chitty chat about weird things I saw or thought about...............

1.) The other day I was walking by the UPS Store, a place where you can rent a mail box or ship your stuff. They had an ad up that read " Your Package, Your Decision". How could that not register to the people in the marketing department ? I could just picture some douchebag guy like this turning down some larger girls saying "No Fatties ! My Package, My Decision !"

Wow.... Will you just look at that ! Ya think he remembered to lift up his moobage in the shower? Nothing more disgusting that that furry mound of old musty man flesh collecting bacteria.

2.) I picked up my eyedrops, and I learned they are called Lotemax. It is a liquid steroid to reduce the inflammation in my eyes. So if I am being a moody bitch, I can just tell them all to give me a break because MY EYES ARE ON FUCKING STERIODS, BITCHES !!

3.) On my way to Safeway, I saw some guy with a unibrow. Similar to this:

I just wanted to put a hot strip of wax between his eyes and yank it with all of my might.

Anywhoosies, enough pondering for now.

Besitos !!!

Titillating Tuesday

Well What's Up Buttercups ?

Well, today wasn't that titillating. Just had to get your attention to perk you right up ! And now I shall keep you abreast of what's been going on in my life.

Numero Uno:

My grandmother had to have a valve in her heart replaced, and not only did the operation turn out great, but the doctor and staff at the hospital were wonderful. My grandpa was quite the doting husband, and it was wonderful to see my grandma loved and taken care of and the family together. It was sweet to see them leave the hospital together. The prodecure and product is brand new, it is a trial before it hits the market, and it basically has saved my grandmother's life and I am very grateful for that. Life is not perfect, but we all have blessings in life, and this is one I will always cherish. The doctor said that grandmothers are the glue to families

2.) I have extremely dry eyes that have been bothering me for years. I finally went to the eye doc, and I was prescribed two types of eye drops, one I could only buy at the doc's office and the other that requires a prescription. The drops requiring a prescription would cost over $300 without my insurance. Can you believe that shit ? Eye drops people ! Dry eyes ! Not a fatal disease. Thankfully I only have to pay $30 with my insurance.

3.) Commercials these days are something else. You know how to tell that we as a nation are becoming a fat tub of lard ? When companies like Pepsi advertise that they are using real sugar instead of corn syrup. When real sugar is becoming the selling point, you know we are going to fat hell. I know that while I was growing up, we were taught to stay far away from sodas, sugar and candy. That they rot your teach. And now sugar is seen as a healthier option ?

Same thing with Wendy's fries. They use sea salt as a selling point. Who the eff cares ? It's salt and all that salt is still bad for you. But because it comes from the ocean it's supposed to be healthier ?

Okay, so I am off my sugar and salt box, loves ! Time to finish watching Law and Order SVU.

Scuze Moi ! Could you please move your big, fat naked ass away from my face !?!?

Well Hello There Kittens !

Miss me ?

So I've been going to the gym lately and in the gym, there is always the lockerroom.........

The women in my lockerroom like to take their sweet time in putting clothes on. They do everything else first, drying their hair, putting on makeup, taking to the person next to them, before...... God forbid they put some underpants on ! And for all you horndogs reading this and wishing that you were in my shoes, not so fast !These ladies are probably not your type.

I am not that bothered by nudity, but I do get a little peeved by seeing naked people sitting on the same benches and chairs that I sit on when tying my shoes or when I put my gymbag down. NAKED VAG ALERT !!!!

You know what else I noticed ? That somehow naked people unintentionally gravitate towards me.

The other day when I came in I noticed a .......how do I say this....... tall, "big-boned" naked chick just taking her sweet naked time drying her hair. When I walked in, I noticed her BIG red ass, mainly because it was facing my direction when I walked in. It looked like it broke out in a little rash. But I was like, whateves......... because she was in the opposite corner from me.

So I wandered over to my bench, and proceeded to sit down. A minute later Baby Rash Ass moseys on over to my section and proceeds to gab with her friend (ALSO NAKED). I couldn't move sections because I needed a day locker, so I just had to get dressed.

So they were gabbing and giggling and I was rushing to get dressed, and then Baby Rash Ass bends down in front of me and my face was a out a foot away from her big ass ! She put everything else on and her panties were the last to go on ! Like WTF !!!!!!  What is so bad about putting on underwear ?

Anyway, I just had to let that out. Lately I've been running outside, so I can avoid the gym shennanigans.

I have a lot more to post, but I can't possibly write that in the same blog post that talks about naked butt.

Anywhoosies, I will talk to you later.

Besitos !!!!