Hello there my lovelies,

I have a lot going on in my head, and I had a hard day. I will spare the details for now. I'll get into it another day. 

I am starting to exercise less and I need to get back on track. Ever since I started working more hours, I started exercising less. I am gonna start practicing more dance for starters. Then I should go running a little more. I wish my gym was a little less crowded. Too many damn people in line for the treadmill.

I live in a nice neighborhood and I took a walk the other day. It was very nice. I walked down to a pond and there were some ducks. And I saw a mother duck with her eight fuzzy little ducklings walking together and then wading in the pond. It was so adorable. I just stood there and watched the duckies splash around in the pond. It was also so cute watching the duckies paddle around in the water. I wish I coulda played with them.

Exactly one year ago today, I came back home to the States from my year abroad in Europe. I went back and looked at my past journal entries and relived my experiences again. It's amazing how fast a year can fly by. Next month will be my one year anniversary with my job. I wonder what I will be doing exactly a year from now. I hope that I am happy and that I am doing what I love.

Anyways, I am gonna go for now.

Ciao.

Sunday Ramblings.

Hello there my lovelies,

Well, today is Sunday. It's my only day off and I have no energy to do anything but lie in bed and read and watch TV. I worked a lot harder, not to mention more hours than I normally do. And this is how it's gonna be for while. So I have to get used to this. But I do have stuff to do and a house to clean. So I will pry my ass out of this bed sometime. I have laundry to fold, papers to file, bills to pay.

Pay day isn't coming soon enough. I have until Friday, but I really could use the dough right now. Last month and this month has been really tough for me. I am hoping it will all straighten out soon.

On Wednedsay my friends and I got together and practiced our dance moves. One of the gals brought her beautiful costumes out of her closet and let me try them on. It was a beautiful purple skirt with a gold belt and sequined bra. When I put it on and danced, all of a sudden I became more graceful, my moves more accentuated, and my figure slimmer. I practice all the time in my workout clothes, so sometimes I forget how good it feels to finally dance in a real costume again. She is selling them really cheap, so I am definitely gonna buy when I get paid.

I am also gonna get lasik on my eyes next month. I am so nervous and excited. I can't wait until I can finally ditch my glasses. I am tired of hiding my eyes behind glasses. I am tired of people telling me that they didn't realize that I have beautiful eyes because of my glasses. I am also tired of feeling glasses on my nose, and most of all, tired of them falling down my face all the time.

Anyways, thats enough complaining for now. I'll update more later.

Ciao.

 

 

Hello there my lovelies,

It has been such a long time sine I last updated. I've been really busy. For starters I got moved to another branch. It just happens that this is the busiest branch in the region and 10% of all the business from the region comes from my branch. That means that I am busy from 7am till 7pm, even though we close at 6pm. I am on my feet all day long, and there is usually a line out the door. Yesterday there were no cars and people waited for over an hour to get into a car. Even though I work harder than I do at my last branch, its not so bad. I feel that the people I work with now care about me a lot more than my last branch. Plus, I don't have to do all the pickups and car washes anymore. While I still clean cars, a car prep does help me.

I am embarrassed to say that I still think about Brad. I did really like him and still do and I am hoping that those feelings will run out. He left me a message the other day to say that he still thinks about me and is looking forward to hanging out soon. And I left one back and yelled at him. I used to be so afraid of coming across as a bitch and a nag, especially since he's going through a very rough time right now which is why I can't see him for a while.

But then again, I realized that being nice never did a thing for me. I am not making excuses for him anymore. And if me stating my feelings pushes him away, then I am more than willing to take that risk. I am tired of him saying that he really likes me and wants to get serious with me, but then again he won't let me be there for him. How dare I offer emotional support.

I've gone out on a couple of other dates, and I like to go out when I have time. Clearly I am not waiting for Brad. But I wish that I could stop thinking about him completely. I hate it when I think about him from time to time and miss him.

Anyways, I have to get ready for work now.

Ciao.

Sex and The City and my Thoughts

Hello there my lovelies,

Happy Memorial Day ! I wrote yesterday's entry about Memorial Day because I didn't think I would update today. But here I am again.

I spent my day doing nothing but watching TV. Well, I did do a little food shopping and some cleaning.

Right now I am watching Sex In The City. I have watched all the episodes over and over and I still like it. I am watching the episode where Carrie went to Paris and told Big off. Six years of her wanting him and him stringing her along. And when he realizes that she is moving to Paris he finally decides that he is in love with her. When she was by his side and hoping for his affection he tossed her aside. And when she decided to move away he ended up roaming the streets for her until he found her.

Big is like the men that I have gone out with. They are real nice at first and at first it seems like they are really interested in being with you. But after some dates and after you realize that you really like the guy, he is emotionally unavailable.

I really liked a guy named Chad. Who am I kidding ? His name is Brad. I am not gonna hide his name anymore. He knows who he is and it doesn't matter because he doesn't read this.

 I went out with him earlier this year and at first he seemed into me. And as we went out, I realized that I really liked him.  And then some stuff in his life came up and he practically tossed me aside and never really took my calls. Once in a while he would return my calls. This all happened just as I decided that I was ready to get to know him better and possibly have a relationship with him.

I know he has some serious stuff to deal with right now. But telling me that he's into me and really wants to be with me and then not calling me for weeks at a time just confuses me. I don't expect to see him, just for him to communicate with me while he is dealing with his issues. It was too much for him and it hurts my feelings.

I still like him and call him once in a while. I'm not just sitting around and waiting for his calls. I am going out and having fun, but I still miss him. I haven't liked a guy like this for a really long time. Part of me still thinks that things will be all normal again. That's because I still really like him and haven't let him go. And I wish I could forget about him. I guess I am too busy seeing him for what I want him to be instead of who he really is.

I am dealing with this slowly. First of all, I am not beating myself up for liking him still and calling him. I am also starting to focus more on myself and what I want out of life. I've been going out, but haven't really put myself out there, but soon I will. I know that I'll be over this soon. Just a matter of time.

 

 

Happy Memorial Day

Hello Everyone,

Today I am cleaning up my room. I have a lot of papers with my name and address to shred, but my damn shredder broke. I still have stuff to give to Goodwill. I also threw out a lot of stuff. Feels pretty good. I still have to go through all my financial statements.

I've been watching TV programs about Veteran soldiers as well as the Japanese Internment camps.

I want to take this entry to acknowlege the men and women that have fought for our country. Because they stood up and fought, people like me don't have to. Because they volunteered, I can choose whether I want to go and fight or not. I also think that the wives of our servicemen deserve credit because they are giving them their full support, raising their children while the men are away and never know if they'll see their husbands or get the dreaded visit.

If I had to, I would join the military. But, since I have a choice, I chose to not to. I love living a free life here in the United States without having to worry about going hungry, getting killed, or being told how to live my life like others in third world countries do.

A lot of people may be against Bush's policies and war in general. But I don't think any of that anger should ever be taken out on our soldiers. It angers me when I see people protesting against our men and women in the service. Those people in the service are the reason why they have the freedom to protest in the first place. They should be respected and supported. I also think that their benefits for serving should be increased and never cut. Politicians that cut their benefits in the name of budget don't realize that they are shooting themselves in the foot. If servicemen and women didn't serve, the politicians themselves would be forced to go and fight.

But I do think that Americans in general are more appreciative of the people that do serve our country. I think September 11th had something to do with it.

While I was watching the documentary about the Japanese Internment camps, it was hard to realize that the USA is guilty of such a thing. There are a lot of dispicable things that our government did. I don't think that the Japanese that lived in the camps talk about their experiences enough. When I was studying history in high school, there was only 1-2 pages in the whole book that talked about it. I've seen an exhibit about it in a museum, but I think that there should be a whole museum dedicatedto them.

My friend Henry served in the Marine Corps and works in a veterans hospital. I wanted to acknowledge him as well. He knows what it means to serve our country. This entry is dedicated to him.