How Many Pervs Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb ?

What's Up My Little Tulips ?

So as you know, I live in the SF Bay Area, and the weather has been sucking hard lately. Last night, I saw some guy go through the trash across the street to take the trash bag can to use as a raincoat. And the weather will continue to blow huge whale ass like this for at least another week. No likey :(

So anywhooters, I've been doing some cleaning around the house and assembling a lamp for my room.

It's been a while since I've assembled a lamp, so I must've forgotten how dirty it can be......

Allow me to elaborate. Here are a couple of the steps from the instructions.......

-- Screw the lower tube onto the threaded nipple of the base.
-- Screw socket onto upper tube

And remember........ when it gets dirty, don't use polish, wipe it clean with a soft cloth or rag !

If you will excuse me, I have to finish screwing in the light bulb.

Tootles !

TMI Tuesday on a Friday !

What's Up My Little Chocolate Chips ?

So I have a survey that I snaked from a fellow reader. It's a little TMI, but whateves.........

Feel free to snatch it from me, after all, it wasn't mine to begin with !

TMI Tuesday questions

1. How old are you?

30

2. What’s your favorite color? I like blue, but no rainbow is complete without yellow


3. First car you ever had sex in? Sorry, I refuse to answer this question because my father reads this blog.


4. Favorite rated R movie? Jackass, all of them


5. Favorite flavor of Popsicle? Lime or orange


6. Banana or apple? Apple


7. Favorite Jersey shore character? Snookie or Pauly D


8. Are your nails painted and if so what color? They are painted a shiny teal.


9. Favorite animal? Currently my friend's dog, who I've been spoiling lately


10. If you could bang a Disney character who would it be? Probably Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid.


11. What time is bed time? Usually too late for my own good.

12. Do you have kids? No, I can barely remember to water my roommate's plants.


13. Last time you bought a toilet brush? Last week


15. Bubble bath or long hot shower? Long hot shower.



16. Can you speak a foreign language? Spanish and German


17. Describe yourself in 2 words? Bullshit Detector


18. How many tattoos do you have if any? None, I could never imagine myself with a butterfly trampstamp that turned into a teradactyl with old age.

19. How do you like your eggs? Poached


20. How do you get rid of a hickey… I've never had to cover one up, but what else is coverup for !


21. Favorite color to wear.  Black, it makes my ass look smaller.

Jury Duty and Smut

Hello There My Little Peeps,

How are you doing loves ?

I am gonna keep this short because I need to get to bed, but I wanna let you know that despite my strong desire to be a recluse, I have been reading some of your blogs. Please forgive me for being such a lousy blog friend. I fully intend to make my rounds soon.

Okay, so enough ass kissing, let me fill you in on the latest................

1.) Doing taxes blows. It really sucks huge whale ass and dinosaur dong. And to add insult to injury, I am getting waaaay less in my refund than last year. Uncle Sam is really bending me over without even a kiss after. :(

2.) What else........ Ah yes, today I went to pick up my mail from my old roommate's house and I got two pieces of mail. Can you guess what I got ? Anyone ?

I got a notice for jury duty and smut. Pretty nice combo, huh ? I got my jury duty notice less than a year ago, and now I got another one.

Then I got smut in a red envelope. On the return address it had "X rated pictures" and some P.O. Box, and when I opened it up, there were cheap 8x10 black and white printouts of some nasty graphic shit. There was no 800 number to call, no advertisement, so to speak, so I wondered what the reason for that was. I swear, I thought my old roommate played a prank on me so I left him with the pictures. We both did have a laugh because the people in those pics looked like the chicks in Girls Gone Wild but 30 years and 50 pounds later.

Fun times, I tell you. And now I must go to bed.

Besitos !

Why Facebook Can Be So Annoying Sometimes....

What's Up My Little Buttercups ?

So, I've been MIA lately. Been busy being totally lazy. Over the weekend I just completely vegged out in front of the TV and ate. I gained a couple of pounds :(

Then today after work, I was gonna go to the gym, buy I decided to watch The Bachelor instead. Oh wells, there is always tomorrow........

I understand that I've been MIA with your bloggies and I appologize. I will make my rounds soon.

So............... if you didn't know, I've kinda turned into a Facebook whore. I used to swear against it, but I finally jumped on the FB bandwagon.

But still it can be annoying sometimes. And here are my ten reasons why. Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts !

WHY FACEBOOK CAN BE SO FUCKING ANNOYING SOMETIMES.............


1.) People who like their own comments. Seriously ? Of course you like it, you wrote it ! How much more into yourself do you need to be ?




2.) People with someone else in their main picture with them whether it is a friend or significant other. I know you have people that like you or someone that loves you, but save that for the other pictures that are NOT the main profile pic.


3.) People making out with their significant other in their profile picture. Enough said, now you are just trying too hard...........



4.) People who flood their statuses with long "inspirational" quotes that aren't theirs. Really ? Save that shit for the quotation space on the "Info" section. If I want to be profoundly moved by something the Dali Lama said, I will read his book.



5.) Status Chains that tell you to pass it along or else you will have bad luck for the next 8 years............. I will take my chances.


6.) People that post pictures of their dinner. Steak usually looks all the same in a small facebook update, so please spare me.


7.) Political or religious rants. Seriously, please just stop. I don't want to hear about OMG, Jesus is so great and how you are feeling the Lord! Or about how you feel about abortion or illegal immigration. I will admit that if someone posts a heated rant that I agree with, I don't mind. But most of my friends on Facebook have different viewpoints than I do and while I don't mind discussing views once in a while in person with someone, Facebook is not the place for heated political debates.



8.) Getting hit up for money, whether it is being invited to a Mary Kay party, or some "charity".  Do you know how often we all get hit up for money ? In addition to all the bills and taxes we pay, we are always getting mobbed by advertisements, people at traffic lights, people in front of the store, and the cashier asking you to donate to the store's charity, which I usually doubt they donate most of the money they collect to the cause.

So you can probably understand that the last place I want to be mobbed is by my friends


9.) People asking me to "like" whatever they are peddling, such as their business or favorite store. I usually do because it's no effort and they are my friends, but it still annoys the shit out of me. Please like my stuff, please tell me how fabulous I am so others will believe it ! I don't like to ask people to like something, I don't like to ask for compliments, and I hate that it's become okay do do so on Facebook.

10.) Invites to farmville.

So what about you, loves ?

Do share !

Senorita's Siete

What's Up My Little Doves ?

1.) I almost got run over today by a tow truck while crossing the road. The light turned green for me to cross the road, and the douchelord behind the wheel saw me cross and stayed put to let me pass. Then as I was walking through, he started driving and as I was getting closer to the other side, so did he and he wasn't slowing down and nearly clipped me. Had I not jumped out of the way, he would've hit me. And everyone across the street got to witness the foolery. As he was driving me away, he looked at me like I was crazy. Unbelievable.

2.) Today I got together with the girls in my dance troupe and we worked on sewing costumes. I can't sew for shit, and my only task was to sew velvet over my bra. Total fail. I kept sticking myself with pins, and the bra looks like something a 5 year old would put together. However, after trying it on, I realized that it would be okay in the end because half of it will be under a vest. Not bad for first try.

3.) I fell of the workout bandwagon for the past week and I totally feel it. I attempted the gym for a half hour today and it was rougher than normal. Oh well, I will have to try again tomorrow.

4.) Last week I spent a lot of money on Estee Lauder products. I usually buy drugstore makeup, but I will splurge on foundation or brushes.

5.) I love collecting luxury handbags. I have scored a free Gucci bag from a friend, a cheap Coach bag from a second hand shop among a few others. I am always on the lookout.

6.) I can't wait to watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion tonight

7.) I desperately need a vacation.