Yesterday and today

Hello,

Today I went to try out a bellydance class. I LOVE it. And I realized just how much I forgot since I haven´t been taking any classes here in Spain. I am very rusty.

I was a little nervous because the they all speak Catalan and Spanish. Luckily the teacher spoke slow enough for me to understand and she was nice.

After that I went to teach my new students. They are teenagers with parents that are doctors. They seem nice and the parents are "concerned parents". They want a teacher that teaches their kids grammar and how to read and write in English. I KNOW that they will be making sure that the kids do their homework. None of my students ever did the homework I hand out.

I am still depressed from yesterday. It seems that no matter what I do it doesn´t work out in the end. My roommate has so many ideas of how I can get papers. And we try and it usually leads to a dead end.  I am SOOOO close. And yet I feel like I won´t get to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt like giving up yesterday. It just makes me miss home so much more. And now I am counting down the days left. About 4 more months. I will make the best of it.

As I was at the Foreigner´s Office and the city hall yesterday. In both places I was standing in line with lots other people in the same position as me. Except that I am North American and they weren´t. They were from Pakistan, various countries in South America as well as Africa.

Why is that so relevant ? They come from poor countries, where they can barely live off the salaries they make in their countries. They are lucky they can survive on the wages they make. Many South Americans are coming here to Spain because their governments are going to shit and the economy there is horrible. Plus the US immigration laws are so much more strict than here in Spain.

These people don´t have a choice, but to come here to Spain where their chances of living off their salaries are better, not to mention that the immigration laws are more relaxed in comparison to other European countries. They are depending getting a chance to work legally.

Yesterday we couldn´t get help for a long ass time because the computers were down. I saw the man next to me with his paperwork in his hands just waiting to get help. I am willing to bet that he took off a day of work to come register or ask about the immigration laws. I could see his frustration. I felt bad.

As for me, yeah I really want to get permisssion to work here.  I REALLY do. My life here would be a lot easier and I can continue to work here and improve my Spanish and work in other EU countries.

But at least if it doesn´t work out I can always go back home to the US. Life is not so bad there. In fact, I liked the life I had. But the people I saw yesterday can´t. Even though they want to. They work low paying jobs and don´t have enough money to go back to their countries. 

There are many people here and the US against immigration. But yesterday I got to see it from the other side and get a glimpse of how they feel. I am lucky I am American.

 

 

Thoughts of a girl trying to get legal in Spain

Hello,

Today really tested my patience. I really wanted someone to give me a gun so that I could shoot myself. I mean, what do I expect ? I am here illegally, and the Spanish government really couldn´t care less about people that wanna come and live here. For Christs sakes, I am convinced that the people at the Foreigners Office hate me. I went back there again today and the guard at the door gave me a look that translated to: Oh no !!! You are back !! Luckily I was with my roommate who is Catalan so he couldn´t mess with me.  I know that I am gonna have bad days. It´s expected. This is Spain.

So........ in a nutshell. I have a nice job waiting for me. It´s good money by Spanish standards and it is in an American corporation. The lady in the interview today liked me because I have my college degree in Business/Marketing, I speak enough Spanish and some German. But most importantly, I speak English. And as I already told you a million times the level of English here is awful. So yeah, they need me. And I could start as early as Monday and leave my awful job as a phone monkey.

The problem is that she can´t hire me unless I have papers. To get papers I have to meet certain requirements. And I meet all of them except ONE: I have to show that I have been in Spain since August last year. And guess what ? I was here !!!! The problem is proving it. To prove it I have to be registered in the town hall. Unfortunately I registered too late-- In October. I had no idea about any of the laws here. How could I? They keep changing.

So yeah, to be frank I am a little fucked. I could have a nice job and I MEET all the requirements. But no, I can´t prove one of them.

So in addition to the job interview today we spent all day running around like monkeys trying to find ways to prove that I have actually been in Spain since August. We were sent to three different places and got nowhere.

We started at the town hall where I registered. For starters the computers broke down and we were waiting just to talk to someone for a while. Then the man my roommate spoke to was a complete asshole.

Then we went to a police station.

Then we went to the famous Foreigners Office that I hate. I am convinced the guard hates me and he also uses pick up lined on innocent passing women. Luckily we got helped because my roommate speaks Catalan and they warmed up to him and gave us a paper and sent us to another office.

Then we went to another office and the woman told us that she couldn´t help us because the government is still negotiating the terms for the laws.

Then we went home, and had lunch and a siesta. And I cried. Then we went to the interview. At least the woman likes me. Too bad I just can´t seem to get my papers in order for the life of me.

I am so nervous

Hello Everyone,

I am a nervous wreck right now. I hate my job and everyone messes around on the job. But somehow I am the only one that gets lectured. I know that I should put more effort into making call after call, but I just can´t take it anymore. I can´t sit there like a robot, make call after call, get rejected everytime and take it on my sucky ass salary. I can´t. It´s not that I am lazy. It´s just that my job is shit and the company is an illegal investment shop. Everyone in the office is either a pathalogical liar a pervert or both. I have a really good track record with my previous jobs. There has got to be something else that I can do. And believe me, I am looking.

I am trying to get my papers in order so that I can be an EU resident for the next year. Laws change, officials don´t know jack shit about their own laws and I am just waiting to see what will happen. My roommate is doing everything he can to help me so I am just waiting and trying to get all  my paperwork ready. The waiting and anticipation makes me nervous.

I have a job interview tommorow for a job that I REALLY want and I am so nervous. I am trying to print out my damn resume, but of course the printer ran out of ink JUST as I was trying to print mine. I have to go to another place to print, but I know that I will be waiting in a line for a while. I am really nervous. Especially because I am not legal yet and I know that there is a big possibility that she just simply won´t be able to hire me.

I want to just vent and write down my other problems so I can feel better, but unfortunately its too private. Sorry.

I am going out tonite with a buddy. I really would like to get drunk. But the thing is, I don´t like alcohol enough to get drunk. I have never been drunk. I just need to put my stress on hold for a day or two.

 

A List

Hello Everyone,

I was bored at work today. I was put on hold a lot and was tired of people telling me that they weren´t interested BEFORE I even had a chance to say what the hell it was that I was offering.

So, I decided to compile a list as I was forced to listen to bad hold music............... A list of things that I believed about myself, but were confirmed during this trip as well as things that I learned here. They are listed in no particular order. Here goes..........

1.) I hate smoking and having to inhale other people´s bad habits. Shoot, I don´t even wanna know how many boxes of cigarettes I inhaled here as everyone including their mothers smoke.

2.) I hate bars. I don´t drink , don´t smoke, and certainly don´t like flirting with drunk men. This belief was confirmed as there are so many bars here and my roommate dragged me to many of them.

3.) I don´t want to have children. My job as an au-pair lasted for THREE days. I didn´t even finish off the week. That in itself says a whole lot.

4.) I love to teach English. Especially to people here in Barcelona.

5.) I am a grammar nazi and make sure almost every mistake is corrected. I also make sure that my students work hard. They read aloud, write, do excercises and talk to me. The funny thing is that I am a slacker as a student and yet I am a little tough on my students. Go figure.

6.) I learned how to handle rejection here, especially over the phone. 10 people in a row could go tell me to fuck myself and I could still smile and make another phone call.

7.) Yeah, I would like to meet a guy that I can click with one day. However the thought of spending the rest of my life alone doesn´t bother me either. I can live with myself and I enjoy my own company.

9.) I want to live alone so badly. I am so much happier when I live alone and don´t have to share anything or answer to anyone. I can pee with the bathroom door open or burp if I please and no one complains. How about that.

10.) Since I will be broke for a while, I have to settle for having roommates. I prefer women over men. Men may be a little more laid back, but it is easier to bond with women and there is no confusion of feelings between the sexes.

11.) I have a huge passion for learning languages. Everytime I see or hear a different language, I am inspired to learn a new language.

12.) I don´t really care to travel to manycountries in a short period of time. Instead I prefer to travel to a country, settle down and live there for a while and learn the langauge before I move on to the next country.

13.) I am so bad at faking working. My bosses always catch me, and even though all of my coworkers are just as guilty as me for slacking, I am usually the only one that gets a lecture. See, this wasn´t really a problem for me before because I took pride in my past jobs and was usually always doing my job. I will be frank and say that I just don´t give a fuck in this job. It´s a miracle that I am still there and they haven´t fired me yet.

14.) People think that I am crazy for working towards getting papers to work in the EU. People also think I am wierd for wanting to learn Chinese. Well, I just smile and think that they are stupid for not wanting to learn Chinese as there will be many business opportunities with China in the future.

15.) Just because people you do business with are really nice and invite you over for lunch does NOT guarantee that they will pay you what they owe you. Even they are capable of screwing you over.

16.) If a man/woman/heshe doesn´t call you back there is a good chance that the person is just simply not interested. Shoot, if the person wants to get in contact with you bad enough they will. It´s so easy these days with mobiles and e-mails- I can´t tell you how many times I called people by mistake by leaving my mobile on in my purse.

17.) If someone is attracted to you and you aren't to them, don´t tell them "lets just be friends". That doesn´t exist. Even if they tell you not to worry and that they are taking you out for a friendly dinner, guess what .......... THEY ARE LYING. Everything will be fine again at first. But later you will owe the guy something for that "friendly dinner". And if you still don´t pay him in affections he will make you out to be the asshole.

18.) Bellydancing is not just a passing phase. It is my passion that makes me come alive and not care what people think of me.

19.) I would make so much more money than I do as a phone sex operator instead of trying to find people to invest in dodgy investment opportunities. I mean, either way I would be screwing people out of their money. I might as well get paid some killer money and make it worthwhile for the other person. It´s just that my head is screwed on my shoulders and my conscience won´t let me.

20.) I trust people less and less, but there are still a few people in the world that are trustworthy.

21.) Just because good opportunities magically appear in front of you doesn not mean that it was meant to be. The boy that somehow just walzted into your life that seems too good to be true probably is. 

22.) I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I am not dumb either. People mistake my ditziness( did I spell that right?) for stupidity and automatically think I am stupid.

23.) Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we may never find out what it is. I am still processing that.

Cool things that happened today.........

Hello Everyone,

How are ya ? Today was a cool day. I brought my digital camera along with me. Lemme tell you that the digital camera I bought before I left was my best investment for the trip and it has paid for itself a million times over. For starters it is small, and with the memory card I have I can store tons of photos. Not to mention that I don´t have to buy film or pay for developing. Plus I can upload them to my website and I can always see the pictures that I took immediately.

I remember that one of my classmates in my TEFL course spent lots of money on a new digital camera, but she didn´t bring it to Barcelona with her because she didn´t want to get it stolen. Instead she bought disposable cameras and overpaid for them and the developing.

I am glad that I didn´t do that. And even if my digi cam gets stolen, it was still worth bringing it because I have gotten some of the most gorgeous pictures out of it that will definitely make me smile when I look back on this trip. And people love my pictures. I usually don´t toot my own horn, but I gotta say that lately I have been a fucking genious in the photo department. And I really, really hope it stays that way.

After I got off work I decided to take a nice stroll near the beach. On the way I found a palm tree with the monk parakeets in it. I swear that those birds play with me because they NEVER are around when I have my camera. And when I don´t have my camera they are wandering in plain view. Today I had my camera and of course they just had to be far away in the street across from me. I didn´t wanna cross the busy street so I settled for taking far away pics. They didn´t come out very well, but now I at least have some evidence that these birds exist.

I also discovered an Austrian restaurant near the beach called El Austriaco, meaning The Austrian. Too bad it was closed. Austrian restaurants are a rare find unless you are in Austria, of course.

I got lost while I was wandering around so as I was looking for the Metro, I saw a little indoor pool with little kids swimming. It was so adorable. The kiddies were in their bathing suits with their caps on and walking together to get dried off. I also saw a mother take her toddler for a swim. She held the kid closely and gave it kisses and stroked the little face as she was wading through the water. It was just one of those kodak moments. You had to be there.

And on the way home I saw an oldcouple walking together. The old man had his arm wrapped around the woman and the woman was kinda snuggling into him. They were talking to eachother like they were in their twenties. It was so nice to see.

Anywho, Ciao.