Thursday, March 31, 2005

Short Update

Hello All,

Well, I moved again yesterday and now I live in the heart of the city. I actually like living in the city. I am starting to think that I am a city girl after all. Even though its noisy and polluted, its easier to meet people and there is lots to do. Plus all the shops are near my apartment. I live with 2 guys from Argentina and gal from Columbia. Argentine Spanish is kinda different and more difficult for me to understand. But I love it. I would like to go to Argentina one day even though I am told that life is harder than ever right now due to the economy.

Well, April is almost here ( tommorow). Time is going by really fast. Before ya know it I will be going home soon. But then again if I get a good job that pays well I may stay longer. I was very unhappy from December till a couple of weeks ago, and I am starting to feel better now. Maybe the weather has something to do with it, who knows?

I have come to a point in my life where something has to change. I can´t just keep doing shitty jobs anymore with shit pay. I have to start doing something useful where I make good money and use my brain. I can´t just keep coldcalling people, waiting tables or filing. No way.  I need to make money, and I need to do something that I actually like. For now there isn´t a whole lot I can do because I don´t have permission to work here, so I take what I can get. But when I go back home I hope to God that I don´t have to go back to Red Lobster.  I guess that you can say that my career is my main priority in my life.

Anyways, gotta go. Ciao.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Easter Break Over

Hello Everyone,

Well, my Easter Break is over, and I have to go back to work again tommorow. I spent the last few days in Santa Susana, a little village which is a part of Costa Brava. It is about 2 hours north of Barcelona.We stayed in the Mercury Hotel very close to the beach. There were many tourists from other parts of Spain, Italy and Germany. Many tourists with children. I am so happy I don´t have kids. It was a nice place.

The meals were included at the hotel, and some of the food was pretty good. We did have to pay for our drinks but it wasn´t so bad. They had some good chicken and beef. Breakfast was interesting because there were only 2 toasters and there was a long wait just to toast my bread. There was also a long line to get orange juice, which wasn´t really orange juice, but some powdered sugary shit.

I spent a lot of time watching TV. There were channels in Spanish, Catalan, German, French, English and Italian. I watched BBC in English. I also watched the channels in German and Spanish. It was interesting watching Mr. Bean in Catalan.

The weather was really cloudy and cold for the first 2 days but then it was nice and sunny for Easter yesterday. Here in Europe we had Daylight Savings time on Saturday so we lost an hour of sleep. I did call my folks back home to wish them a Happy Easter.

I went to the beach yesterday and got a little tan. The water was too cold to swim in but I spent the time reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I love that book.

I am moving out again to another place either tommorow or Wednesday. It is gonna be wierd getting back into my regular routine since I spent this weekend just sleeping, eating and relaxing.

I have three more months here in Spain. I really hope that the weather gets hotter so that I can go to the beach after work. I also hope that the immigration laws will change so that I can get working papers and a better job.

Okay, better go now. Ciao.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

More Updates

Hello Everyone,

Wow, I really didn´t write much this week, and I am usually really good about keeping my journals up to speed. And to Shira, thanks for the comment in my last entry. Nice to hear from you. I hope that you´re doing well.

Well, about 3 weeks ago at work one of my my most favorite coworkers who I used to eat lunch with all the time left and was replaced by a new guy. The new guy and I bonded really fast because he always laughed at my dirty jokes and insinuations and added some of his own. We´d spend lunches together and walk to the metro together and bitch about our job. ( No, we were just friends. He´s gay.) And now he just quit yesterday and now I am alone again. How come all the nicest people quit?

Well, we also got a new guy yesterday who sits next to me. Both chairs next to me have been empty so I haven´t had anyone to just lean over and chat with. Now I do, and it´s cool. The new guy is from the Czech Republic and is actually pretty hot. No, I take that back. He is REALLY hot and the other girl that sits behind me winks at me everytime I talk to him. I have been at this job for over 6 months and there was never anyone worth staring at until now. He is a nice guy but he still doesn´t replace my friend that quit yesterday. I would rather have my friend back at work. I know it sounds silly since I am the one that usually drools everytime I see a hot dude.

 I tried telling him dirty jokes but his English isn´t good enough so he didn´t find them funny. I can´t joke around with him. I also try to help him out with his English and he doesn´t want my help so I get to sit there and listen to him mess up while he is talking to managing directors of companies about investments in bad English.

I also watched Hot Chick that my mom sent me, God Bless her. I put subtitles in Spanish on so that I could see how the movie is translated. There was a lot of slang in the movie and some things just can´t be translated. Especially when there is ebonics. You can´t really translate the word "bootylicious" or "bling-bling". When movies are translated into other languages, the translation you usually get is a general idea of what the characters are saying. But if you know both languages, you´ll see that sometimes things can´t be translated properly.

Speaking of movies I went to the movies tonight and saw American Splendor. It was interesting. I went with a guy from Argentina. Last week we went to Starbucks. Argentine Spanish is a little different from the Spanish here so I am learning. There are a lot of people from Argentina here in Spain as well as other South American countries.

Anyways, I am tired, so I better get my booty off to bed. I will be going to Costa Brava for the Easter weekend. The weather has been cloudy and a little chilly lately. That kinda stinks because I was really hoping that I could go to the beach this weekend. But, I don´t think that will be happening. I hope that I at least get to enjoy some sun.

Okay, Happy Easter all :)

Sunday, March 20, 2005

A Very Nice Day

Hello Everyone,

Well I usually don´t write about my good days here, even though I do have many of  them. That is because I feel like if I talk about having a wonderful day then a shitty day will follow, which is usually happens. I guess that I am a little superstitious.

But today really was a wonderful day. So good that I don´t even care if I have a bad day tommorow.

For starters the weather was beautiful. It is sunny and the weather is getting warmer. I also had the apartment to myself since my roommate started working. So I just lounged around in the sun and took in the beautiful view of the mountain in front of us. My mother sent me girl scout cookies last week, so I had some of those for breakfast with some milk.

I also went to my old roommate´s house for lunch. His mother made paella, and I ate so much. We also talked a lot and watched a movie. I missed them.

Then I went and took a walk in the city. While I was walking, I got to see the people in the City Hall center doing the Sardana, the traditional Catalan dance. It takes place every Sunday evening, but I usually am always at home. This is the first time that I saw this since I have been in Barcelona for about 9 months now. A bunch of old people were doing the traditional Catalan dance to a live band. It was very nice.

I also went to Starbucks and met up with a guy from Argentina. He happens to work in the same area that I do. I haven´t had a Starbucks coffee since I was in the states. It tasted so good. We both miss our countries so we both talked about our experiences away from home.

Well that´s it. I have to get up early tommorow to look for managing directors that want to invest their money.

Y'all have a wonderful week.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Spain vs. California

Hello All,

I guess tax season is here for all Americans. I am somehow managing to do my taxes with my tax accoutant through fax and e-mail. Nice guy, and knows his stuff. Before him I went to H&R Block, or shall I say, H&R Cock. They are so ghetto, there is always a long wait and the accountants don´t know what the hell they are doing. They should hire me, because I could do just as bad a job with other peoples´ taxes as they do. And to add insult to injury they overcharge. And to think that I went to them 2 years in a row. You think that I would learn my lesson.

Speaking of tax accountants, mine told me that the weather is California is rainy and cold. I guess I am glad that I am not there right now. The weather here in Barcelona is starting to change and it was a beautiful day today. I didn´t even have to wear my jacket. I have been waiting for this weather for the longest time. I can´t wait to go to the beach. 

Starting Friday is the Easter holiday here in Spain as well as the rest of Europe, I think. That´s new to me because Easter in the states comes in April. That means that I have a four day weekend, and pretty much everyone will be going somewhere for vacation. I think that I will be going to Costa Brava, with is about 2 hours north of Barcelona.

Today I also bought some bootleg copies of the latest CDs. You think I am gonna pay some record company 18€ when I can buy a copy for 2.50€ ? Not on my lousy ass salary. I bought the latest J.LO CD. I know that she has no vocal talent, but the beats are awesome. I saw her CD in the store for 18€. Sorry, but her music is SO not worth that.

I have so many bootleg CDs in my CD case now. I hope that I don´t get into trouble with the customs officals when I fly back in the US. I always managed to get "randomly" stopped and groped by officials. And I don´t even remotely look black or Middle Eastern.

Anyways, I am gonna go now. I hope y'all back in the states get your taxes done on time. Here in Barcelona taxes aren´t due till June. But I also think the government charges more.

Anyways, gonna go for reals now. Ciao.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Spanish Hospital

Hello All,

Today I had my appointments to take blood and get x-rays done. I had to get blood taken first. The waiting area is very big, like an auditorium, and your name gets called out over the loud speakers. Then you are directed to a room of booths, which are designed just for drawing blood.

I haven´t had blood taken since God knows when. I had to fill about 4 big vials. And the doc tied up my arm with a big rubber band. A friggin´rubber band. I can´t stand the feeling where I can feel my vein getting fat with blood. Worse is feeling the needle in your vein and feeling the blood move through you.

Needless to say I was panicking, sweating and on the verge of crying. Another doc came in to calm me down. He put rubbing alcohol on a rag and had me inhale. It smelled kinda good. I think the doc was amused by my wimpiness. It was really wierd seeing my blood in vials. I swear that if they accidentally lose my blood I am not going back. I hate getting blood taken. And to think that I got up extra early and traveled an hour to do this.

The appointment for my x-ray was 3 hours later. It´s not like the US where the docotors scheule time around your schedule. You have to schedule around them. So therefore, I had 3 hours to kill in between. The x ray took 5 minutes, and I coulda had my blood taken and my x ray done all together in less than 30 minutes. But it just doesn´t work that way.

I went to H&M yesterday and found some cool clothes on sale. H&M is my favorite place to shop here. I think that they now have stores in the US. I bought 5 items for about 6 Euros total. Not bad at all. I was so proud. The skirts were about 1.90 a piece, and the top was 90 cents. Sweet.

My student also cancelled on me tonight around 10pm. I am kinda happy that I get to sleep in as long as I want tommorow. I need a break.

Okay, gotta go. Ciao.


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Spring is in the air


It will officially be spring on Monday. The weather here is starting to improve, which means that I can start wearing shirts and skirts soon and that I will be able to enjoy longer days.

I also enjoyed the absolutely beautiful view of the city that I have from my balcony  last night.  I live on a hill. Too bad its so darn expensive.

I still miss home, but I am not letting that get in the way of trying to enjoy the city. June will be here soon enough.

This trip has been so hard because in the states I was used to a strict schedule of school and work. I didn´t really have to think about a while lot more. Here I am forced to think about how I am living my life, and if what I am doing is right for me. School has been over for me since graduation in May and now I have to think about my career and how I want to live my life.

I also have had to make decisions on my own without people telling me what to do, which I haven´t been used to.

But most importantly, I have had to do what I want. Many people live their lives according to how they think others want them to live it, myself included. Here I am trying to live my life the way I want to.

Anyways, tommorow is Friday and I get to go to the doctors to get blood taken and an x ray. I know that I will be waiting for an eternity. I also have to get up super early for this. Yuck. I don´t even wanna go. The doc told me I am fine, and I would rather go to work and make money instead.

Anyways, gotta go for now. Ciao.

You Know you are in Barcelona when....... (Part II)

You know you are in Barcelona when..................

22.) You meet lots of people and go out a lot, but it´s hard to maintain friendships because people are busy with work or move to other cities/countries.

23.) You arrange to meet with someone and they usually show up late, call off at the last minute or stand you up. And it´s acceptable.

24.) You look around you and see so many different cultures: Pakistani, German, French, Indian, American, African, South American............. And I thought California was diverse.

25.) It is acceptable for grown men to live with their parents well into their thirties.

26.) The sun is shining most of the time, even if it is cold.

27.) You look into the palm trees and see emerald green parrots munching on the palm tree fruit.

28.) The garbage man comes around at 2am

29.) People eat dinner at around 10pm.

30.) If you are a woman men have no shame in walking up to you and telling you exactly what they want to do to you in your face.

31.) If you are looking for an apartment, most renters will only rent to women.

32.) When you rent a room in apartment you ALWAYS have to pay a deposit of one month´s rent.

33.) Many apartment buildings in the city are 100 years old. My coworker lives in an apartment that is 400 years old.

34.) There are slot machines in the cafes.

35.) There are no free refills on drinks in restaurants.

36.) You don´t have to tip your waiters.

37.) When you rent a room in an apartment, the furniture and bed are usually included.

38.) Shoes are so damn expensive, but going to the hair salon is cheap (in comparison to the US)

39.) The water is warm enough to swim in at the beaches.

40.) Mexican sombreros are sold in the tourist souvenir shops but tourists buy them anyways, thinking they are Spanish.

41.) Most phone conversations are carried out by text messaging instead of talking on the phone.



Wednesday, March 16, 2005

You know you are in Barcelona when.......

You know you are in Barcelona when...................................

1.) You see about one obese person per week on average. (So unlike the states)

2.) The mullet as well as those long socks are back in fashion.

3.) There so many language schools on just about every block. You want to learn German? Catalan ? French? English? You got it. And they are cheap too.

4.) Dryers are non existent here. Ya gotta wait for about a day to have dry clothes.

5.) You bag your own groceries at the store.

6.) Milk is boxed and sold on shelves. It is also very common to see pigs legs hanging in every deli and market.

7.) The regular workday is from 9am to 7pm on average with a 3-4 hour break in between.

8.) People smoke EVERYWHERE.

9.) Pickpocketing is rampant here. Just about everyone I know here has been robbed. No joke.

10.) You greet each other with a kiss on each cheek, not a hand shake.

11.) You can definitely live here without a car. There are buses, cheap taxis, trains and trams, metros and night buses. I never have any problems going to where I want.

12.) You do a lot of walking.

13.) It is common for people to piss in the streets. Especially at night.

14.) Saying goodbye takes about 5 minutes. " Vale, Venga, Hasta Luego, Deux...."

15.) People are not politically correct. If you are very fat, people look and stare. If you are white and dating a black man, people turn and stare. If you aren´t dressed properly people stare.

16.) People bump into you in the streets and don´t appologize.

17.) There is a high demand for English. The level of English here is so low.

18) Illegal investment companies are rampant here because the laws here are lax.

19.) Gay marraige is legal here

20.) There is always music in the streets and the metro from people playing for tips.

21.) Hollywood movies here are voiced over in Spanish. So awful. Watching American Pie translated into Spanish is torture.

Anything I left out ? For those of you that have been to Barcelona I wanna know what you think.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Barcelona updates

Hello Everyone.

Well, at least for this week I can say that I have enough work teaching English. I hope that next week will be the same.

I went to the doctors yesterday and I have to go back and draw blood and get x-rays done. I was told that I had an appointment at 10am, and I didn´t get to see a doctor for another hour and 45 minutes. I was annoyed because I was really late for work. At least the doctor was nice and I understood everything that she said.

I am also annoyed because I have no clean clothes. In order to get clean clothes I have to wait a day because we have no dryer and we have to hang them. No one has dryers here I tried to do my laundry last night, but that didn´t happen. There was no room to hang the clothes because my roommate is using the hanger and basically told me I was pretty much out of luck. Really annoying.

I am also moving out AGAIN. A long story but I will get to it once I move.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I had a lovely weekend watching my coworker´s dog. I stayed at their place for the weekend and I walked the dog by the beach. They have an adorable dog. I also watched the last season of Sex in the City. Love that show. I am gonna buy it when I get back to CA.

Anyways, I gotta go. Ciao.

More Questions from Jessie´s journal

1. Other than Earth, what planet intrigues you the most and why?   

The moon ! Just kidding. I find Mars interesting because it looks like the next planet we might be living on if we don´t stop polluting our Earth.

2. What is the last business issue you wrote a letter or called to complain about?  What's the last thing you complemented a business on?   

I don´t remember. This is because I have been in Spain for a while and there is absolutely no point in complaining about bad service here. It´s a way of life here.
3. When was the last time you had your picture taken?  Did you like the way the picture turned out?

I had my pictures taken when I went skiing in Andorra. I liked how they turned out and now I have wonderful memories of my ski trip.

4. What was the last program you watched a rerun of on television?  

Aqui no hay quien viva. Those of you in Spain know exactly what I am talking about.
Carly:  The land has been referred to, by more than one person, as a community or a neighborhood. What would you call the metaphorical name of the street you reside on here in the land and who are your closest neighbors?  

Crazy beautiful drive, because my life here is both crazy and beautiful. And if you are crazy or beautiful you are are my perfect neighbor :)

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #48 from Braxton:  If you had to write an essay that pertained to 'human life', what opinion or topic about mankind would you choose to write about? (exp. relationships, struggles, accomplishments, etc) And briefly explain why you chose said topic...  

I would write about how traveling and why it is important for people to get out of their countries once in a while and see what´s out there in the world. I would also write about relationships because EVERYONE is affected by relationships somehow and we all make mistakes in that area.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Saturday Six Yanked from Jessies Journal

Questions at Patrick's Journal.  

1. What is your favorite color for an automobile?  Is your car this color?  

Black, because it make me look richer. He he. And no way in hell would I ever own a car here. People can not drive here.

2. You decide to start a diet on Monday.  What is the "bad food" meal that you must have "one last time" over the weekend?  

Oh God, thick, rich chocolate cake, chocolate truffles, cheezy pizza. Yum !

3. How do you balance your checkbook?  In your head, with a calculator, or with software?  

Since I am in Spain and checkbooks are useless here, I can officially say that I have abandoned checkbook balancing here. But when I was in the states I used a calculator.

4. How many of the Oscar® winner movies did you see before the awards this year?  

I have not payed any attention to the Oscars this year. And besides, the Hollywood movies get relased here much later than in the US.
5. In what room of the house do you find yourself the most comfortable and why?

My bedroom. I just like to lie down on my bed and block out the rest of the world for a while. 

Scott: What is the "one thing" that the mere mention of sends shivers down your spine?  

When I hear someone talking about me behind my back. 

Thursday, March 10, 2005

31 Questions borrowed from Jessie´s Journal

31 Questions

1. WHAT'S 0N Y0UR MIND RIGHT N0W? I don´t want to wake up for work tommorow morning

2. WHAT ARE Y0U LISTENING T0 RIGHT N0W? The humming of the computer and the clock ticking 


4. M0DEL 0F Y0UR CELL PH0NE? An ugly-ass Eriksson that is 5 years old that is big enough to beat a red-headed stepchild with.

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING Y0U ATE? A Kinder chocolate snack.


7. WHAT D0 Y0U D0 DURING Y0UR CHILL TIMe? Sleep or read


9. THE FIRST THING Y0U THINK AB0UT WHEN Y0U SEE THE 0PP0SITE SEX? His shoulders and arms. No, really.

10. AUT0 0R MANUAL? Auto

11. FAV0RITE DAY 0F THE YEAR? Thanksgiving

12. FAV0RITE PLACE? My Room, because it´s my private place in this foreign city.

13. FAV0RITE SP0RTS? Does bellydance count ?

14. D0 Y0U WEAR C0NTACTS? I am supposed to but they hurt more than help.

5. SIBILINGS & THEIR AGES? 1 Brother 21

THE C0OLEST WAY Y0U HAVE T0 RELEASE PRESSURE? A nice hot shower. But if there is no shower available, I sink my teeth into some chocolate.

19. SCARY 0R HAPPY M0VIES? Happy :)

 FRIENDS don´t talk behind your back and help you more than hurt you

23.)CH0C0LATES 0R FL0WERS? Both, I think they complement eachother.

22. WHEN I'M STUCK IN A JAM... I panic, write in my journal or just chill in my room. Oh yeah, or I eat chocolate.

23. TEXT 0R CALL? Since I came to Barcelona it´s all about texting.

24. IF Y0U C0ULD TURN BACKTIME, Y0U W0ULD... Have studied harder in school and been more motivated. I would have also been less naive.

25. IN Y0UR WALLET, Y0U HAVE? My health card, my expired ID and my expired metro ticket

26. WHAT'S 0N Y0UR SCREEN SAVER? Don´t have one

27. FAV0RITE B0ARD GAME/S? Scrabble

28. FAV0RITE SMELLS? roses, chocolates

29. WHAT IS THE LAST THING Y0U THINK 0F BEF0RE Y0U G0 T0 SLEEP? How I just don´t wanna drag my lazy ass out of bed the next morning.

30. THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITH0UT: Chapstick, chocolate, internet, free English speaking publications here in Barcelona  

31. Y0UR FAV0RITE QU0TE?? I am too tired to think of anything profound so I will leave you with a couple I acquired here........

1.) No finance, no romance

2.)No glove, no love

3.) No money, no honey

Private Students

Hello Everyone,

Today was an interesting day. I woke up late. I thought that my alarm clock was fast but it was really on time. So I stayed in bed longer than usual. Oops. My boss wasn´t too happy but I made up the time.

I was supposed to start teaching a private student today. In fact, I was supposed to start about 2 weeks ago. But things kept getting in the way. I was forgiving but yesterday and today he has been ignoring my calls and e-mails. So I sent him another e-mail and told him to find another teacher. Based on past experiences, I bet that he won´t respond or give me a reason.

 Stupid shit like this has happened to me before. It really gets on my nerves. It it just the way things are sometimes. I am in Spain. Students show up late and sometimes cancel at the last minute. It´s part of the culture. People arrive late for appointments and it is acceptable. Last week I had a student cancel on me the night before. Sometimes they just stand you up. I once left a party early to teach the next morning, only to be completely stood up after traveling for an hour with no calls or anything.  I consider myself to be darn lucky if a student shows up on time or gives sufficient notice.

I am also waiting for the immigration law to change. I am still upset about the whole thing. I was sooooooooo close, and I thought for sure that I would be able to get them. Without working papers I can´t have a decent job. And I could have good jobs here. I have the education and background. And I was so close to getting working papers. And I can´t. For now I am confined to my telemarketing job and getting walked all over by private students.

I can´t complain too much about my private students. Because I love teaching them and watching them learn and improve. The problem is just finding students that show up on time without canceling.

I am also happy that tommorow is Friday. I need a break from my telemarketing job. I want to sleep in for a change.

Anyways, off to bed. Ciao.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005


Hello Everyone,

I am trying to check my e-mail here and the computer just won´t let me.  I am a little annoyed. I am waiting for some important e-mails and I can´t read them because there is some stupid server error.

I am also waiting for my private student to call me back. He was supposed to call me after I got off work, but he still hasn´t. I was supposed to start teaching him 2 weeks ago and things keep getting in the way.

The academy still doesn´t know when classes will start. I will give it another week before I start looking elsewhere.

Last night when I went home I watched a movie about bird migration in Spanish. I know it sounds boring but it was so cute watching the birdies fly. It was relaxing because yesterday was a little stressful.

My roommate has a cat so when I was taking out food to make my dinner she started standing on her hind legs in the refrigerator looking for food and meowing. Sometimes when she knows I am in a hurry to leave for work she comes in my room and sits on my bed and she doesn´t move. She doesn´t like being picked up so I pick her up so she´ll get annoyed and leave but she still doesn´t leave.

Yesterday a little birdie flew in through one of the windows but the cat killed it and left the body under my roommate´s bed. When she got home the bird was under her bed with a mess of feathers everywhere. I guess that her instincts really kicked in. Thank God I wasn´t home to see the dead little birdie. I like birdies.

Before I went to bed I had the displeasure of hearing my neighbors have sex. Kinda reminds me of when I was living in the dorms in college. I have been here for 9 months and lived in a few different apartments and up until yesterday I haven´t had to listen to people´s encounters. My walls are kinda thin.

Anyways, I better get started on my homework. Ciao.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

More Happenings

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to write and give more updates. I am still taking Spanish lessons twice a week. I still work in a call center. I just moved into a new place almost a couple of weeks ago. I am still waiting for the law to change so that I have a better change of getting legal working papers. I still teach English to private students. I am still waiting for the English academy to contact me so that I can teach English at a school.

I am not as unhappy as I was in my last journal entry. Some days are just harder than others. I am just waiting for things to happen, and I have some hope. Things have been changing for me around here at the last minute. That´s kinda what life is like in Barcelona and I am finally starting to accept it after almost 9 months of being here.

Anyways, I will update more later. Ciao :)


Sunday, March 6, 2005


Hello Everyone,

I dunno what to say except that I just feel real conflicted within right now. Today was real hard for me. The day was really long.  I am really not feeling well at all right now.

The truth is I don´t know exactly what I want out of my life anymore. I don´t know whether I am really following my dream or someone else´s.  Am I really doing what I want ? Or am I just scared to venture out in the real world and become really successful ?  I don´t know. I don´t know if I am living my life the way I should. I don´t know what makes me happy anymore. Because I have been making changes in my life for the last 2 months and I still don´t feel any better. It´s not that I am complaining and not doing anything. I am making changes, and I still am not satisfied.

On top of that, my plans keep changing. I never know for sure what I will be doing. In one respect it´s exciting. In another, it is really frustrating. My teaching jobs keep changing. I don´t know if I will get my legal working papers here, which is really frustrating because I have had good job offers that I couldn´t take due to my lack of wprking papers. People come and go out of my life really fast here. My friend went back home. My favorite Spanish teacher disappeared suddenly last week. My favorite coworker left on Friday. And things seem to be changing for worse instead of better. But I hope that things change for the better.

Today I wanted to go home really bad so that I could just go to a familar place and just leave behind this life that always changes. Sometimes it´s just too much. Today was too much. I don´t want to leave because I don´t like Spain. I want to leave because I want my life back in order. But I know that just getting on a plane is not the answer. But I still can´t help counting down the time. 16 weeks left. And it seems like an eternity.

Please excuse me for not being bubbly and happy. I am happy that I am doing something with my life and that I am learning Spanish and living in a foreign country on my own. I just don´t really know what I want right now. I think that maybe my reasons for coming here are clouded by my strong desire to just go back home. I really really want to go home, and I am really upset that I just can´t do it. I don´t have enough money to go back home and return here. But I know that I would miss Barcelona upon returning to the states. So I am trying to take in this beautiful city as much as I possibly can.

Anyways, I better get ready for the week. Ciao for now.

Saturday, March 5, 2005

A Saturday Afternoon

Hello Everyone,

Like my title for today´s entry? How original, huh? Anyways, it is still cold here. At least the sun is shining, but it is STILL cold. I think that the weather will change in 2 weeks.

I was supposed to teach today, and the class got cancelled. I was a little upset because I do need the money. I am also waiting for the director at the English Academy to tell me when classes are starting. On top of that, I am supposed to start teaching a new student but he still hasn´t responded back to me. I don´t know what to do. Last week ago I thought that I was surely going to have lots of work teaching, and this week I have nothing. I am starting to get worried.

Plus I am running out of money in my savings account to pay my bills back home. That is starting to worry me too. I don´t know what I am going to go. And moving to a more expensive flat isn´t helping matters either. When I moved I thought that surely I would have the money. I didn´t imagine that they would get cancelled and postponed.

Last night I went to the area of Gracia to go to the 2nd hand English bookstore and I bought 2 of Dan Brown´s books. I didn´t think that they would be there. I am also waiting for The Da Vinci Code to make its way back there. I was told that it should be in in about a week. The I spoke to the owner there whom is from Ireland. Nice guy and he told me about his first experiences in Spain.

I am still reading my new book, The Shadow of the Wind. That book is very good, and very funny too. I am still trying to find time to finish it.

Anyways, I gotta go. Ciao.



Thursday, March 3, 2005

A Cold Thursday

Hello Everyone,

Well, the weather is beginning to improve a little. It´s still cold of course, but it´s not so cold that it stings. I like that. I heard that it should get warmer in a couple of weeks.

My English is getting worse. I notice that as I say things, I say them like Spaniards would. And I am still not fluent in Spanish.

I am still enrolled in my Spanish lessons. My teacher left, and now we have a new one. I liked the old one that I had and he just left all of a sudden. I am a little sad about that. But I also like the new teacher we have now. She is so much better at explaining grammatical concepts, and I really need to get the grammar down.

We went over the different past tenses in Spanish. The difference between the imperfect and the preterite. I always confuse the two because in English putting verbs into the past is so much easier. It is a basic concept that students learn early on

I have to say that I am really sick of my telemarketing job. I just couldn´t take it today. I hate it so much, but it is my only sure way of earning enough money to stay here in the country.

I hate it because the job is crap. I also hate it even more because I am no good at it. And I don´t even want to try. I think that the job is so ridiculous that I don´t even try. My boss pulled me into his office the other day and he told me that he notices that the contacts I am giving him are no good.

He wasn´t mean to me or anything. He actually told me that he thinks that I am smart and that I have it in me to find potential investors and that I need to try harder.

But then when I go back to the phones I get rejected before I even get to finish my sentence. Many people also don´t even speak English. People that I talk to receive so many calls like this. But what I don´t get is that my coworkers are finding people and people that I talk to aren´t as receptive to me.

Anywho, I better get ready for bed. Ciao.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005


Hello Everyone,

Well, I thought that for sure that the snow would stay on the hill where I live. Nope, it melted by the afternoon. I also thought that it would snow heavily like it did yesterday. It didn´t either. I am a little sad because I didn´t get a picture, but my roommate did.

I was supposed to start teaching in an academy this week. That got postponed and the director doesn´t know when classes will start. Gee, thanks.

I was supposed to meet my new student today after work but he posponed the meeting at the last minute for tommorow. Well, at least he called.

I was planning to spend a nice weekend, taking care of my coworker´s dog and watching DVDs and getting paid for it. That got postponed.

I am also still waiting to get paid so I can pay the rent this month. I am also waiting for the beach weather to arrive, but I won´t hold my breath for that. Still have a few more weeks of this Artic wind going on.

I feel like I am running into so many inconveniences. I really wish I had my schedule sorted out. I need the peace of mind and I really need the money.

Anyways, better go food shopping. I am hungry.