Saturday, February 28, 2009

Matchmaker Millionaire

Hello Again My Lovelies,

If you are as big of a TV whore as I am, then you probably have watched the show Matchmaker Millionaire with Patti Stanger.

I really love that show, it's my favorite. Defintely entertaining to say the least. And I like her for the most part. We have the same birthday.

Basically she runs a dating club for millionaires and charges them an insane amount of money to hook them up. She claims she is very successful and has a huge ego. I love watching her be honest with men and women on the show. She doesn't hold back. Sometimes guys and girls need to be called out.

-If men in their forties are looking for women in their twenties to settle down and have babies with.
- Women that try to sneak the man's number to get a sloppy seconds date, when the man didn't chose her for the main date.
- Men that immediately propose marriage, tell the woman to move in and then don't end up buying the ring or marrying her.

I have watched her show, and read her book. Boy is the book interesting. She makes a lot of good points and for the most part gives good dating advice. (which by the way is common sense)

-- Don't talk about the ex, politics on the first date, ect.... yada yada yada
--Don't have sex with him if you're serious about him unless you're in an exclusive monogamous relationship.
--Don't move in with the guy unless you're at least engaged, have the ring and a date set.
-- Yes, looks do matter and chemistry is important.
--Don't accept a date at the last minute, don't be someone's sloppy seconds. It is better to be home in your pajamas than out with someone who really isn't that into you.

While she is experienced and does give out good advice, I definitely see some flaws with her. But on the other hand, none of us are perfect. We all have good advice that we should follow, but we don't. Apparently this woman isn't any different.

-- She claims that she is a third generation matchmaker and that it's in her blood. Okay, she is adopted and her adopted mother and grandmother were the matchmakers. She may have learned a lot growing up, but she shouldn't bring geneology into it.

--She preaches that women who want to get married should give the men a year. She claims that if men don't marry them within a year or two, that they aren't serious about marriage, and that the women should move on.

She says that men tend to be creatures of habit and that if your boyfriend doesn't propose to you, you should politely move on. And because he's a creature of habit, he'll most likely realize the error of his ways and come back to you. I see it differently. While I think that may work sometimes, it is still a huge gamble. Patti never once mentioned the resentment the man could feel for the ultimatum, or maybe the man needs a little more time. If a man is not ready for marriage, he may agree to marry you, but that resentment could come later down the road in the marriage. She never mentioned that, and she never told the woman what to do if he left her instead of marrying her, and how she could pick up and move on after that.

What I find so interesting is that she was been with her boyfriend for 5 years and he still won't marry her. She claims that she is too busy to think about marriage, but I know that is a bullshit line. If a woman wants to get married and the man wants to marry her, she doesn't use work as an excuse.

Her employee on the show also moved in with her boyfriend after the third date.

I find it interesting that she gives her clients a list of rules, but she and her staff can't even follow them.

The thing that gets me the most is her talking about how she is doing such a wonderful deed and that she is racking up credits in heaven for it. Talks about all the good karma she is getting. That actually almost pisses me off.

So yeah, she is providing a good service, but you know what ? It's strictly business. She charges between $25,000- $150,000 per year. If I pay that much, I better get a man, lol. I think it's disgusting that she appears on TV a show, talks about how much money she charges the men, and then calls it "God's work".

I respect her for getting paid that much money and I think she is a good business woman, but she is definitely no saint. If she really wanted to rack up points, she would do this off a TV show and do it at a much lower price or for free. Business is not "God's Work", it's business.

Just pretend I am on vacation !!

Hello There My Lovelies,

So today is Saturday, and I currently am not fond of Saturdays because I have Bankruptcy Law for about four hours in the morning. Me no likey.

I was looking forward to today's class because the teacher was supposed to talk about the project. I really needed her to explain the project. Basically, I have to file two bankruptcies for two different people, enter in data into software and write up motions and notices. The instructions for the project are so long, about 22 pages. It's a time consuming project.

She just handed us the project last month and told us to get started early on it and gave us a little speech about how we should start figuring things out early. The problem was that she didn't bother to explain anything.

Today was really no different. Aside from explaining a few details, she told us that we should just explain our answers in the memo if we weren't sure. Basically, take a guess if we don't know the answer. So the laws are complicated, but we should just take a guess !! Her spiel was "Just pretend I went on vacation for a week and am not available to answer your questions." She then blathered on about working in a law firm the real world and how many times we are left to figure things out by ourselves. Like she is doing us some favor by not explaining the project. Every other teacher I've had in the program had no problem talking to me when I asked them questions. In fact, they were happy because they took it as a sign that I was interested in their classes and wanted to do well.

Just brilliant. So basically she just bs'ed her way out of explaining the project to us by giving us some life in the real world speech. I don't buy that shit, I think she just didn't want to talk abou the project.

I've worked for free in the legal environment and pretty much had to figure almost everything out on my own. I've dealt with attorneys who didn't want to answer my questions because they didn't feel like it or simply didn't have time. But I dont' think I should deal with it in the classroom. In the classroom, teachers should answer questions !!! Especially when it deals with the law.

I thought the whole poing of going to school is to learn and ASK QUESTIONS and actually get them answered. Then go out in the real world with the knowledge gained in the classroom and start figuring things out on your own.

On another note, at least I understood more of the lecture today. That is a good sign, which means that I will have a better chance of getting a good grade on the final which I so desperately need.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Moving on out.......

Hello There My Lovelies,

So today I started moving my stuff to my new place. It's a slow process. Tommorow I will get a storage and then move half my stuff out on Sunday.

I also got to practice a little more dance. I wasn't really feeling it today, so I guess you could say that I had an off day, but at least I danced.

I am just waiting for the move and for school to be over. Once that happens, then I can think about getting back to my internship and looking for a job in the legal field.

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Hello All,

Just a quick update........

I had fun at last night's concert. I didn't understand a single word, and the entire thing was in Russian, but I did enjoy the music. Standing in a crowd and sweating profusely with people screaming and whistling into my eardrums wasn't my cup of tea, but I still managed to have a good time. I felt like I learned a little bit more about the culture. I did enjoy dressing up though.

At the event I felt like I was back in Europe circa 1990. Women still wear mini skirts, leggings, black shiny boots, mullet hair styles, red lipstick....... And men still sport leather jackets and smoking is in style.

On another note, I have less than a month of school left. Honestly, I am looking forward to when I don't have class, and I am not worried about moving. Then I can focus on finding a legal job. I know that they are out there.

I did get my transcript in the mail, so now I can apply for graduation.

And I also need to remind myself to pay that traffic ticket before a warrant gets issued..........

Okay, that is all for now.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Russian Side

Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay, so I am going to a Russian concert tomorrow with an old classmate. She was nice enough to invite me. She's from Russia and knows that I want to learn the language and the culture and is really gracious about teaching me. After she came back from Moscow she brought me a beautiful Russian doll. She is also a member of our paralegal group. Our group gets together once a couple of months, and she is really the only nice, friendly, outgoing one.

I have a Russian last name, and a Russian cousin named Vladymir (same last name as me) that I've never met. My stepmother was also Russian. But other than that, I really have no connections to the country or the culture.

My great-grandparents came here 100 years ago from Russia into New York through Ellis Island. They were Jewish and also spoke Yiddish. Unfortunately no one really knows much about them. But I would love to go to Ellis Island one day. My friend Henry lives in New York and has promised to take me there when I can make the trip.

However, my grandpa Max did provide a little insight into their lives. He died in 2006. As I was recently going through a box of letters, I found a nice fat envelope he sent me in 1997 while I was in high school. It contained a stack of papers he typed to me about his life as a young boy and his parents. I almost forgot about it.

I am so glad I held onto it, as it's really the only link I have into the past about them. I was lucky enough to know my great grandmother (American), as she lived until she was 102. Plus, everyone in the family had stories about her, especially my dad. My dad was very close to her.

But no one really knows about my Russian great-grandparents, Morris and Paulina. I believed that they died in the 1960s.

From what I know about Paulina, she was a strong-willed woman that loved to boss my great-grandpa, Morris around. She used to tease him for being such a weak man. He always teased her about being a peasant and getting her hands dirty, and dirt underneath her fingernails. She had blue-eyes, and was determined to get what she wanted. I was reading about her saucy attitude, and now I understand where I got it from, lol. (But I don't boss men around, lol)

I also read about them owning a candy shop together. A man came in once and bought her candy. She graciously accepted it, smiled, and after he left, she dropped it right back into the candy bin, lol. She was very business oriented.

One thing my grandpa wrote in there was that when they moved to Long Beach, Paulina was trying to convince Morris to invest in land, and he declined, taunting her for wanting to get her hands dirty, and calling her a peasant. Well, it turns out that the land that the didn't purchase was later drilled for oil, and they could've been very wealthy. Paulina was livid. She eventually left him, but when he died, she was there for him and made sure that my grandpa and his siblings paid their respects.

Interesting stories.

My mom's side of the family did a wonderful job in teaching me about Austrian culture. But I still feel like I haven't really gotten a chance to learn about my Russian side. But the Russians I have met are happy to enlighten you about their culture.

I did go out with a Russian soccer player once. Nice guy, I met him in the library when I was at the university, and we went out a couple of times. It was with him that I discovered my favorite hookah lounge. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. I broke it off because I went to Spain that summer for a year. Also, I was too scared to get into a relationship. I just wasn't ready, and didn't know how to act. Looking back, I wish I would've given him more of a chance.

Anywho, enough reminiscing for now. I am looking forward to tomorrow's concert.


Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay, so I know it's TMI, but my Aunt Flo decided to pay me a visit today, and let me tell you, she always puts me in a bad mood. It feels like someone is grabbing my innards and wringing them out like a wet towel. I normally try to go as long as possible without taking aspirin, but for this I almost overdo it.

On another note, I guess moving out isn't the worst thing in the world because our walls are thin and the neighbors next to me and below are way too loud. Mainly kid noise.

This morning the kid next door screamed for his mommy. Actually, he always does. There is a baby that cries all the time, and a little kid that screams for mommy. It's like clockwork at around 7-8am EVERY morning. I have to wear earplugs. But sometimes I don't, and then I really suffer.

I put up with the crying. Yes, it gets on my nerves. And yes I get frustrated because I don't have children and don't want to listen crying children. On the other hand, what can I do ? The baby is crying and screaming in its own house, and babies cry. So I deal with that.

But the little kid that screams "MOMMY !" over and over and over and the mother doesn't come into the room ???? I've been putting up with that too, but not today. I banged on the wall and miraculously the kid shut up.

I've had people tell me........."Just you wait until you have children........, you'll see"
Well, yeah........ I AM waiting until I have children, IF I ever do have kids. I honestly don't think I am cut out for it. I love waking up to silence. I love being able to go wherever I want at the drop of a hat. I love being able to only worry about me. I love being an adult, and having the freedom to cuss if I want to or dress up suggestively without having to worry about setting the wrong example.

Also while I was growing up, I never really enjoyed being a child. One thing I can't stand is being told what to do. Call it the Sagitarrius in me to the extreme. Growing up, I lived a sheltered life, and couldn't wait until I turned 18 and had complete control over my life. And since that happened, I never looked back. I don't feel like I have really lived for myself to the fullest yet. I still feel that there are many things I would like to do and experience more adventures before I have to sacrifice myself to raise others.

So yeah, I am making the conscious choice not to have kids, and not surround myself in an area with copious amounts of children. Because I know someday, there is a small possibility that I will actually have children and deal with a lot of noise. And if that ever happens I will want to be able to think back to my days of silence and solitude.

On another note........

I live on the third floor and I thought that we would be home free from stomping or music. I was mistaken. Today the guy below cranked up his music so loud that the floor vibrated and I could hear his songs in my apartment.

The interesting thing is, I went downstairs to ask him to turn it down, and while it was very loud, it wasn't earth shattering as I expected. Sometimes the vibration and muffled music heard is worse than the actual music down below.

For sure I thought it was some woman playing her tunes. When I opened the door, I was surprised to find a guy. I tried to be as nice as possible and asked him to PLEASE turn it down, but looking back, I must've seemed really flustered and irritated. Well, I kind of was because this isn't the first time I've had to deal with their shit. My roommate has gone to management and reported them, and I've also stomped on my floor below.

Okay, that is enough irritation for one day.

Monday, February 23, 2009


Hello There My Lovelies,

Nothing really to report, except that my dad is healing and I am happy about that. I will try to pay him a visit next week. At least he has his cat to keep him company through this, which he likes to refer to as the Mrs.

In about two weeks, I will be out of my place, my classes will be over, and I will be preparing for finals. I also have a dance performance coming up. I just wonder how I will be able to pull it all off.

But I am more concerned about passing my Bankruptcy Law class. I just hope that I get better grades on the project and the final.

I am also a little concerned about being able to file for graduation on time. I requested my transcript from my old university, but I still haven't received it. If I can't get that transcript, I can't file for graduation on time.

One nice thing about moving is getting rid of junk. I have a nice pile of unwanted stuff to donate. I got rid of a ton of stuff five months ago when I moved, and I hope to do the same this time around, too. I won't resist the urge to purge.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

10 Things About Moi

Hello There Again My Lovelies,

Lately on some of the blogs I've been reading, a couple of people have been listing 10 interesting facts about themselves. I figured that I should do the same for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy !

1.) I have never lived in the same place for more than four years.

2.) One of my pet peeves is people that walk directly behind me, especially when it's not crowded. I always end up looking over my shoulder.

3.) I don't understand why people feel that they need an iPhone, a Treo or a Blackberry. I am perfectly fine with a regular cellphone. Besides, I think the iPhone is useless for making calls. I can't even hear the other person that well anyway.

4.) I would love to learn Russian and go to Russia someday, as I am about a quarter Russian and have a Russian last name.

5.) While I am proud to be an American (because it's my country), I wish that I was born in Europe and raised there like my cousins on my mother's side.

6.) My great grandparents on my father's side were Jewish immigrated to the United States through Ellis Island 100 years ago from Russia. They were tailors in New York. My mother's side in Austria was Roman Catholic.

7.) While I am a total TV whore and love all the useless shows, I don't think I could ever pay for cable. Last time I heard it was $80/month and I just think that is way too much money.

8.) It was nice to have a grandmother who didn't speak English and made me learn German. She paid for my schooling in Austria so that she could properly talk to me. I was lucky enough to thank her for what she did before she passed away.

9.) I am pigeon-toed.

10.) So many people want to own their own homes, but I haven't had the strong desire to own my own place. I would rather take all of that money and travel the world.

My Bankruptcy Law class sucks balls.

Hello There My Lovelies,

Today is Sunday and I didn't feel like doing squat. In fact, all I did was play solitaire on my iPod and watch TV. Que fabulosa ! And I feel much better for it.

In Bankruptcy Law I have a huge project, and I recently started it, only to find out how confusing it really is. So I asked the teacher in class yesterday if she would answer my questions.
Wanna know her response ? "I will answer all questions next week in class, but this week I don't really feel like talking about it." So I tried to ask her a quick question just to help me out but she looked at me and shook her head. I talked to other people in my class who emailed her questions only to find out that she hasn't responded to their questions either. Then after she told us in class how she wasn't going to answer our questions this week, she told us to get with other classmates, exchange information and work on the project together and maybe we would answer our own questions.

Seriously....... WTF ???? What the FUCK ???? You won't answer my questions because you don't feel like it ?? Well, I don't want to do your damn project, but lookey, I have to suck it up, put my big girl panties on and do the project. So please, answer my damn questions !!

I thought my last teacher was grumpy and had attitude, but even though he would give me grumpy or sarcastic answers to my questions, at least I got answers. This woman can't even do that. That really gets my panties in a wad. Or as my dad would say, that really frosts my cookies.

She was the one who told us to get started on the project early so that we could get our questions answered early. Which is what I am TRYING to do.

Oh, and by the way, I got a 62% on her midterm, and I already feel crappy about that. I was sick during the exam, and also I've had a hard time due to all the recent changes going on in my life that I simply couldn't remember all the laws. My mind pretty much went blank. She didn't give us a study guide either. But hey, I can't fault her for that, I bet they don't give study guides in law school.

So I am trying to redeem myself through the project. I hope that I can magically pull this out of my ass in time to save my grade. I just want to pass this class. Just get me through this so I can graduate on time, please !!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

My thoughts

Hello There My Lovelies,

After I got home, my roommate told me that it's a done deal. His friend will be moving into the apartment next month and she will be taking over the lease. So it's official, we're really moving out. Yes I've had to pack and yes I've had to think about making other plans of moving out. But his stuff is still unpacked, nothing has been sold yet and until yesterday, he didn't have a new roommate to come in. I still was holding out for the small possibility that somehow he would be able to stay in the country and I wouldn't have to move out.

It really feels like I am getting my heart broken. I had a lot of hopes and dreams when I moved into that place. I live in the heart of downtown San Jose, where I've always wanted to live. I've just always wanted to live there. I've wanted to be within walking distance of my old university and the library and the downtown restaurants.

I felt that now that I live in a nicer place than last, that I would have more confidence to go out and jumpstart my career, and possibly actually get a place of my own.

Now I feel like I am taking a couple of steps back. I can't believe that I will be in a new place before I even finish off the quarter. I remember last quarter. I moved last quarter, and I felt like things were looking up.

On another note, it should be raining again tonite. We totally need the rain here in California. We're suffering from a drought, and even though we've been having some heavy duty rain for the last couple of weeks, it is still not enough for the water we will be needing for the summer.

Friday, February 20, 2009


Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay, so many women out there want to find the fountain of youth and stay young forever. They work out more or use expensive cremes or in some cases get surgically enhanced.

My solution is just to act younger. You know, they say that in order for you to get what you want, you have to act like you've already got it.

Lately I have been acting twelve. My friend Ashleigh is taking Anatomy and has a huge Anatomy text book along with a coloring book. The best part of her taking these classes is reverting back to being a teenager and looking at pictures of the reproductive system. Specifically the penis.

Don't lie, back in middle school/ high school, I'm sure you all looked in your health books just to see how much the publishing company could get away with publishing. The funny thing is that the teachers rarely ever covered the reproductive system in my classes.

So I went to her house before we went out to the movies. We were laughing at all the penile vocab and diagrams when her father walked in to say hello, and BAM there was the text book open right in front of him. I was embarrassed.

The diagram of the man was pretty funny. A guy was lying on his back with his legs spread in the air, like a woman. I didn't realize that "gonads" is actually a real scientific term. I thought that it was slang. I also learned the scientific term for "the seam", which is apparently called the raphe.

Yes, I am immature.

On another note, after making fun of the diagrams, we went to see the movie out, "He's just not that into you." It was a good movie. The movie was based on the book that came out around 2005 called "He's just not that into you." by Greg Behrendt.

Basically in the book he wrote that men are pretty much hunters by nature, and if a man is really interested in seeing you, he will find a way to make it happen. Usually responses such as "I was busy" or " I will be out of the country for two weeks and won't be able to communicate" or "I have a meeting tomorrow" are really just excuses.

Basically, if a man is really into you, there are no mixed messages, and he will initiate the contact with you. And if he is traveling, he will call or e-mail you.

Honestly, we tell our girlfriends "he was just intimidated by you" or "he was in a long relationship and needs time" or "he must be gay." But usually the truth is that the man simply wasn't interested, and even if he was attracted, he wasn't that serious. And there is nothing really wrong with that, because we all have our preferences that we are entitled to.

I sometimes wish I could openly tell my friends what I think happened, but really, I could never go there. I wish that my friends could openly sit me down and tell me what really happened. My guy friend did that with me and while it hurt at first, I did sit down and think about it later.

I tend to agree with the movie in that men are the hunters. I don't believe that the woman should assume the role of the hunter and do the pursuing. I have tried it in the past, but when that happened, men have never actually taken me seriously. I think that at first men are flattered by the attention, then start to resent you for going after them because you didn't make him work for it. Then he stops taking you seriously.

Anywho, time to go get ready for bed. I have school tomorrow.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Hello There My Lovelies,

So I saw today that I have ten followers on my blog. I was waiting for #10 to arrive, and her icon says her name is Lyn, so welcome, Lyn :)

I found out last night that my dad was in a motorcycle accident. I got a message from him that he was in the emergency room. Imagine my relief when I found out that he was able to leave that evening, with only broken ribs. I felt like I won the lotto.

I am aware that broken ribs are very painful, but you know what ? My dad is alive and not in a coma and was able to go home, so everything else is really just other details to be worked out later. I don't know what I would do if I had lost him. When I got the message, I thought that he was about to die, but when I heard he was going to be released soon, I felt like I was given a second chance. Sometimes people aren't so lucky.

The economy sucks and people are going through hard times, but one thing I hate learning is that things can get worse. And what's worse is when things do actually get worse.

If these tough times out there are teaching us anything, is that as our material possessions are being taken from us, look at what you still have (if you still do): Your health, loved ones, maybe still a job. Be thankful for that. There is nothing worse than complaining over financial difficulties and THEN losing what's really precious.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay, so I found a place to move into. I will also rent a storage to keep all of my kitchen supplies and decorations.

I will be moving in with a friend who I dance with. She lets me use her studio all the time. So basically now I will be able to dance whenever. I hope that this will lead to a hotter and sexier me....RAWR !!!

I'm glad I don't have to look for another roommate anymore. I saw a place over the weekend which I thought was promising. The place was nice, but the floor was diirrrrty. The lady had a dog, and there was dog barf and doggy piss on the carpet. Not to mention chewed up toys spewed about. OMG, she did warn me about a "dirty carpet" but I really wasn't prepared for what I saw.

She said that she didn't require a deposit. Well, DUH !! For good reason, she already did a good job in fucking the place up without giving her tenants a chance to, lol.

I am really sad that my roommate has to leave the country. I've been there for five months. He has to sell his stuff such as his furniture and it sucks that I have to move out of a great place and lose a nice roommate. He's leaving the country and not planning to come back anytime soon. I just want this all to be over soon.

On another note, I did my taxes. I am now waiting for a refund.

I hope you all enjoyed your Valentines Day. I worked, but I did go out on Sunday before work. I went to a cafe and had a nice cappuccino with a chocolate mousse cake. So delish. It put me in a better mood and perked me right up. Even while the weather outside sucked balls and while I am not doing well in my classes and while I have to move out. Even through all that, after that cappucino and dessert, I still felt on top of the world and felt happy and optimistic.

I should go back there more often ;)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Written Journal

Hello There My Lovelies,

I don't think I've blogged about this before, but I keep another journal at home, a written one. Of course I am not nearly as faithful to it as my blog here.

Basically I write in it every few months. I started it around 2003 about the time I started this blog.

I write about certain things going on in my life about where I live, who my roommate is, who I am going out with, if my friends have changed, if I am in school............ Then I make predictions as to what will happen in the future. It is interesting to return to my journal months later and see how different things are and if my predictions came true. See if I've moved, or if I still feel the same way about that guy, or if I got a new job. I always have something new to write about. I feel like I am getting into different routines every few months.

My life changes so fast, and has been this way since I was a child. Growing up, I've always moved and changed schools so often. I have never lived in one place for over four years. I think that all this change is not just a phase, and I don't think it will ever stop. I think it's just one of those things that will follow me until I die. Except for my family and a few friends, there is nothing else that I can really count on. Everything else seems to constantly change.

It's good because my life isn't boring. It also means that if things are bad, since changes always happen, good things are around the corner.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Very Special

Hello There My Lovelies,

So Happy Valentines Day y'all :) I was at Safeway and there was a long line of people trying to get their loved ones flowers at the last minute. I saw guys dutifully walking around with bouquets for their ladies. I wanted to buy roses for my apartment, but when I looked at the price tag I decided I would wait until tomorrow. $21.99 for a low quality dozen roses which is usually $10. And the $21.99 was discounted. No spanks.

I am single this Valentines Day, and that means there is one less man out there that is being pressured to wine and dine, lol.

But on the other hand, I did receive a very special package in the mail from my grandma Ruth. She baked me cookies and sent me a card. I got brownies, snickerdoodles, molasses cookies, chocolate chip, along with chocolates. At the top of the cookie pile was a card.

I thought it was a very nice gesture for my grandma to bake me cookies and send them to me along with a card. To be honest, I would've rather chosen that than to have a man wine and dine me.

I don't know how much longer I have to enjoy my grandma so, I every opportunity is special.

So I think that I lucked out this Valentines Day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentines Day

Hello There My Lovelies,

Last night one of my favorite comedians came to town and performed at the Improv here in downtown San Jose. His name is Jon Lajoie and I took my friend, Sylvan who introduced his stuff to me. Sylvan is one of my friends who appreciates the fact that I can be vulgar and is there to help me embrace my vulgarness and immaturity.

I had a great time. We got to the club early to have dinner and I caught up with my friend since I haven't seen him in a while. Dinner was great, and so was the drink and the chocolate cake. I drank an orange crush, which tasted like an orange gumdrup.

Dinner was great, and so was the show. Jon La Joie is wierd, twisted and vulgar and I l0ved it. While he was singing onstage, I was screaming like a lovestruck fan. He did a combination of standup and songs as well as display his videos that he's posted on Youtube. He became famous online first by posting his videos on Youtube.

I have a cold, so the cold weather, alcohol and screaming was not helpful to my condition at all. But you know what, I'd do it all over again so sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with the consequences. So I woke up this morning with puffy, heavy eyes, my nose completely stuffed up and my head hurting. I was miserable all day. Getting out of bed to go to work was interesting. But I managed to drug myself up and drink coffee.

Speaking of miserable, yesterday I had an exam that I studied for in Advanced Civil Litigation. But since I've been sick and in the middle of having to move out, I pretty much retained nothing, especially since the classes are more advanced. Therefore, I think that I will be lucky if I manage to pull a C out of my butt. I really hope that I pass these two classes in time for graduation.

It's frustrating because this is my last quarter, and I've managed to get all As so far in my classes. And for the first time I am really struggling to stay afloat.

Anyway, tomorrow is Valentines Day and I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cupcakes and sexy calls

Hello There My Lovelies,

Okay so Starbucks has recently come out with cupcakes: Double chocolate, Red Velvet and Vanilla Bean. I've tried all but Red Velvet. They are so addicting. I love cupcakes. Anyone that knows me knows that about me. They also know that I don't simply eat a cupcake. I devour it, like a lion devours its poor little prey.

Speaking of cupcakes, I went to my friend's baby shower last weekend. I had to leave early to get to work on time, so I grabbed a cupcake on the way out. It was so good. I was practically stuffing my face.
Anyway, I was eating it while I was driving, and while I was trying to concentrate on my driving, part of the cupcake with the frosting fell on my lap.

No problem, I picked it back up and continued to eat it, even though I had gotten frosting all over my hand, which then transfered to the steering wheel. It was embarrassing. By the time I got to work, there were crumbs all over my lap, my seat, and frosting on my steering wheel and my face.

I was embarrassed at myself. It was definitely not a shining moment of mine. I won't be eating cupcakes out on a date, that's for sure.

On another note, I got a very interesting call last night while I was at work. I was just minding my business when I got a call on my cell from an unlisted number. One of my friends who is traveling calls me from an unlisted number so I assumed it was him.

Instead, I got a deep, thuggish voice "Hey baby, how you doin ? Baby, what's goin' on ?"

Shocked, I asked "What?" and he asked " I said how you doin"

You know those hip hop music videos where the guy calls some chick in the middle of the night trying to get a little action out of her ? Well, that's what he was going for, even though it wasn't late enough for it to count as a booty call phone call.

I asked him "Who ARE you" Do I even know you ?"

He said his name was Marcus. I do not know of any Marcus, and told him there is no way I would know him.

So he asks me "Is this Vanessa"

I was like "No I am NOT Vanessa"

"Oh, I musta dialed the wrong number. My bad, baby. Hey you have a nice evening, baby."

That is a lot of "baby" for one night, don't you think ?

Monday, February 9, 2009


Hello All,

So I talked to my roommate, and he said that I actually have to move out in exactly a month. I need to be out of my apartment by the middle of next month. This is going to be very interesting because I will be moving out around my finals in school.

My roommate is leaving the US and not coming back. He was a great roommate and I am sad to see him go. He has to sell all the furniture, and I will be trying to get rid of a lot of my stuff as well.

It is so hard to concentrate on school and my internship right now. I already bombed my midterm on Saturday, and I have another one in a couple of days. I sit in class and read the books, but I can't retain anything.

Changes are happening at work as well. We're getting a new CEO and moving our headquarters, which I mentioned in my last posting. Who knows what will happen to our jobs, or if our hours will change.

I am also starting to get sick. Not fun at all :(

I feel like everything around me is changing, and I can't hold on to anything. I just wish I could settle down and chill out for a while.

If you were to ask me what my life would look like in a month or two, I couldn't even tell you. I don't know where I will live, how I will end up doing in my class, how my job will be, or if I will have a new one.

Anyway, it will be interesting for me to see what I will end up writing in this blog a month from now.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Hello There My Lovelies,

If you are happily married or taken, you should never take that for granted. Treat your spouse well and live happily ever after.

If you are single and searching, then you know how difficult or awkward dating can be. I have had great dates, dates where I made mistakes, and dates where the guy was a total frog. It's definitely been enough to help me form a strong opinion of what I want, and what I don't want. And I know that it's not over yet, until I meet Mr. Right.

I also know that while I would love for him to walk in my life, I still have a few things to learn and I am still not quite ready. It took me a long time to even understand that, which is a huge step in the right direction.

I have to say that while I have gone out with a lot of frogs and made my share of dating mistakes, I am glad that it happened. Without that, I don't think I could've formed a clear idea of what I really want in a relationship.

I remember when I was a teenager growing up and entering high school. I was a late bloomer and started thinking about boys then. I knew that I was innocent and naive because of the way I grew up.

I started praying around that time for God to bring my someone special that I could cherish for the rest of my life. I also told him that I didn't understand all of the drama in the dating world and why women bashed men all the time and vice versa. Since I was sheltered I didn't understand all of the drama. I asked God to help me understand the differences between men and women. Basically, I asked for God to enlighten me. Deep down, I didn't really want to enter a marraige as a young woman without a clue, even if the man was good, because I wouldn't have known the difference.

I didn't want to marry the first guy who proposed. I have a couple of friends who only know one man and don't know what's out there.

If I had gotten involved or married earlier, such as in my early twenties, I wouldn't have had the chance to become independent. These last couple of years on my own have been real crucial. I also wouldn't have been able to cherish the relationship. I would've taken it for granted, felt insecure due to a lack of independence and taken all of my insecurities out on him.

I didn't want to be a woman involved in a long, unfulfilled marraige for years that eventually gets divorced in her middle age and has to start all over. I have talked to a lot of women in that situation and they tell me how difficult it is.

I've thought that God has been punishing me all these years, but really He's giving me the opportunity to correct my mistakes so that I stop making the wrong choices and start making better choices. It's been a long road, but at least I can see the light.

Without all this "me time" I wouldn't have had a time to develop an opinion of what I want in a man. I would've just fallen for the first man that came along and followed his idea of what a good relationship is.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Saturn Return

Hello There My Lovelies,

I consider myself to be a somewhat spiritual person. I just feel like I am still developing my beliefs and finding my way spiritually. I don't like to talk about it much in case people think I am either crazy or trying to get them to think the way I do. I usually keep quiet about religion and spirituality, and if I mention something, talk about my Christian beliefs and upbringing and leave it at that.

I believe in astrology somewhat. I don't believe it's the only answer, but I do think it provides insight as to what's going on in life.

Last summer I stumbled about an article in Marie Claire about the Saturn Return. Pasted below is an excerpt from an article by a man named Skye Alexander:

Astrologers call the period between ages twenty-eight and thirty "Saturn Return." That's because it's the first time the planet Saturn completes its cycle through your birth chart and returns to the spot it occupied when you were born. Internationally respected astrologer Rob Hand calls Saturn Return "one of the most important times in your life. . . a time of endings and new beginnings."

For most of us, ending a phase of life that is familiar and embarking on one that is new and untried is unsettling, even painful. Few people describe Saturn Return as a pleasant period. While undergoing your Saturn Return you may find yourself turning inward and reflecting on your individual destiny. You examine your true needs and desires and the role you want to play on the world's stage. You may feel lonely and alienated from those around you, while family and friends think you are shutting them out. But this is a necessary period of consolidation, when you must retreat from the distractions of the outer world and focus on yourself at your most fundamental level. The Saturn Return is every individual's search for the Holy Grail.

I don't think that it was by accident that I stumbled upon that article. I think that I was led to that article to explain all of the changes that I've been going through and will continue to go through until my thirties.

I really believe that if you ask yourself questions and really take a good look at yourself God aka the Universe has a way of bringing that answer to you when you are ready.

This explained a lot because I used to be way more carefree and I never really questioned who I was or my belief system. I was like this up until I turned 27.

It was when I turned 27 that changes started happening. I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and experienced my first breakup.
-I started thinking about what I would want in a life partner, even though I am not quite ready for it.
-I got back into bellydance (which I stopped for about a year)
- I saw a counselor for a couple of sessions (which I was totally advised against growing up)
- I let bad childhood experiences go and vowed to stop thinking in the past.
-I had a broken relationship with my mom, but by my 28th birthday we had come together and put it in the past.
- I paid off all my old debts and vowed to make better financial choices.

During this time I have definitely felt like I've changed as a person. Right now I do feel very isolated, I feel like I am searching for answers in life.

I read another article somewhere where this is the time that your weaknesses are illuminated and you're forced to stare at them and deal with them. That is also something I think is very true. Because if you deal with them now, then you can correct them and have a greater chance of happiness.

Not My Finest

Hello There,

OMG, so today was my midterm in Bankruptcy Law. Definitely not my shining moment.

The Bankruptcy Law is complicated, and while I felt I had a handle on the vocabulary, I just could not remember certain specific details about the code. I felt like the teacher hit me with questions I wasn't prepared for. Her teaching style is not my learning style.

I will feel lucky if I could just pull off a C. It's sad because this is one of my last two classes and before this, I've been able to get all As in my other legal classes.

I really hope I can get my act together before the quarter is over.

I am not really on top of things this quarter, because ......................

- It is my last quarter and I want it all to be over
- I have to move, and don't want to lose my place and my roommate
-I have to look for another job in the legal field
-There are many changes at my job such as a new CEO and moving our headquarters and I don't know how this will affect my current job. Who knows if my coworkers and I will have a job.

I guess the hardest part is the uncertainty. I won't know how things will turn out for at least another month or so. I can't really do anything until school is over and my roommate informs me more of his situation.

Please understand that I am not trying to complain. I feel lucky that I still even have a job for the time being. I just went through a ton of changes in life, and I just wish I could relax. Plus you can't deny that times are hard. I tried to ignore it until my roommate got laid off. Now it's staring me in the face and getting closer and closer to home.

Plus the tension around here with the bad economy is undeniable. It's so thick you could cut it with a knife. I do what I can to take the edge off, such as dance practice which does help.

In fact, my classmate who was in my class last quarter paid me a compliment and told me that I look good and asked me what I was doing, because I look trimmer and more toned. That was so awesome :)

Anywho, time to get back to class.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A wonderful day

Hello There My Lovelies,

So yesterday was my mother's birthday. She's only 51 and doesn't even look her age. I think she looks fabulous. I wasn't able to see her, but I hope that she got cake. My mom is hard on herself and keeps telling me how old she is, but I think she looks great. Sometimes women can be so hard on themselves, especially as we get older. If you saw her pictures I know you would agree with me on her fabulousity.

Yesterday I hung out with my friend Ashleigh. We went to the beach. It was fabulous. I don't have a single day off so I asked my boss at my internship for the day off yesterday and she happily said yes. So I drove to Santa Cruz and took a looooong walk on the beach with my friend.

It was such a nice day. I don't think it could've gone any better. We took our shoes off and walked in the ocean and along the sand. The weather was just right and we were looking for sand dollars and shells. We also found crabs. Beautiful blue crabs. I liked watching the birds scurry about with their long beaks and peck in the sand. For a day I got to forget about school, the economy and having to moving out. While we were walking, sometimes I would run backwards while she was talking or we would break out into some awkward dance moves. I think we ended up walking five miles. Good exercise, and I didn't even have to suffer.

While we were talking, we were talking about everything under the sun from embarrassing moments to boys to dating dramas and it was hilarious. I am a twisted girl, and Ashleigh is one of the few and proud that not only can put up with me, but is equally as twisted as I am. You should always hold onto people that laugh at your jokes.

We ended up walking for a couple of hours. I ended up taking a sand dollar home. I hear that they signify good luck. While we were walking, I collected various shells and sand dollars. I had no pockets so I stuffed them in my bra. But when it was time to go, I only picked the best looking sand dollar out of the bunch and tossed the rest into the sea.

After that we went shopping. The economy sucks right now, but once in a while to keep your sanity, you do have to slurge on something.

Today I have class but I did have to make a trip to Babies R Us. My bellydance friend who taught me how to dance with the sword is having a baby girl, so I decided to go and buy her a gift off the registry.

I can't tell you how out of place I felt there. I am definitely not maternally inclined. I felt out of place just waltzing in there with my tight, ass-hugging jeans while all of the other women around me looked like they were ready to give birth.

Luckily the sales lady understood when I explained that I have no children and pointed me in the right direction. I bought my friend a baby pillow for the car seat. I really hope she likes it. If she didn't, well, she does have the gift receipt.

Anywho, I best be studying. I have class in an hour, AND an exam in Saturday.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Open Letter

Dear Man I Just Cancelled A Date With,

You are a very good looking man, and you seemed nice at first. I didn't cancel on you because I am shallow. If I were shallow, I would've put up with you because you're eye candy.

I cancelled on you because you broke way to many of the "dating rules."

1.) While we are talking, please do not ask me how much I weigh. You're a dude, so when you volunteer your weight, that doesn't mean that I am going to just volunteer mine in return. Chicks are sensitive about this, how could you not know ? I don't know how your mother didn't teach you.

2.) After talking on the phone for only the second time, I wasn't ready to hear about your recovering alcoholic father and how he relapses and how he demands your time. On that note, I also wasn't ready to hear about your 2 alcoholic friends who ruined their lives, one of which went to prison for driving drunk on highway 17 and almost killing a child. WTF ????

I am sorry about your father, but you do realize that you have the ability to chose your friends and surround yourself with positive people, don't you ? Well, if you don't, then we shouldn't hang out.

While we're on this, it's not that I am a shallow, uncaring bitch. I do care if you have problems. But shouldn't you slowly reel me in with your award winning personality and get me emotionally attached to you before you start divulging your skeletons ?

3.) When arranging the date with me and chosing a bowling alley, either chose one and tell me you're taking me there OR let me chose and be fine with my choice. But please don't tell me to make my choice and then complain about the price of the place I chose.

Yes, I chose the more expensive bowling alley that is newer and looks like a night club. But it's only bowling, and I wasn't going to eat much anyway. It's not like I was going to order a lobster. We were going to rent ugly shows and hold 8 pound balls together.

I found it very tacky that you had to mention that it's only $2.50 after 9pm. Where was your mother when you started dating ? Apparently she wasn't around to stop mistakes like this from happening.

I also found it very strange that you got offended when I proceeded to offer to pay for my half. You got so offended that you told me to shut up and strongly said that you are NOT cheap and that you are a gentleman.

I said yes, you're such a gentleman that you just told me to shut up. You didn't like that, but hey, it was true.

You also got mad when I told you to just forget about it, and that you should find someone else. You wanted to know why I didn't give "us" a chance.

Hahahaha, we just talked, and I wasn't aware that there was a relationship. When you proceeded to tell me that I wasn't treating you right, I said that you didn't deserve that treatment from me and that you should just go and find someone to treat you better.

I admit, I said that to get you off my back, but it worked.

Best of luck to you out there :)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Hindsight is 20/20

Hello There My Lovelies...........

I have to say that I've been single for almost all of my life. I did have a relationship for a year that ended a year ago. I grew up very sheltered, and had no coaching whatsoever on men out in the real world. I was really just told to wait for my soul mate, the one and only.

I left home an innocent girl with absolutely no clue of how to act and what to expect.

You do the math and imagine what happened.................

-I had unrealistic expectations of men
- I didn't know about dating and just getting to know each other and taking things slow
-I didn't realize that men were the hunters and that women shouldn't do the chasing. Actually, how I was raised, I saw a little of the opposite.
- I was naive and didn't know about the games and dishonesty that men pull ( I am not singling men out here, I am only speaking about my experiences)
-I really had no life experience and didn't really even know much about myself.

With the above combined, let's just say that I made a lot of mistakes. I don't even know how to begin to tell you about all the dumb shit I did. Imagine all the things that dating gurus tell you NOT to do out on a date, and I probably did it.

The hardest thing about all of this is looking back and realizing that while I am a good person, with a good heart, I made a lot of mistakes. The hardest thing to do was to realize that it is my fault that I am still single, that I attracted the wrong people, and that I never gave myself enough credit to attract someone better. It is painful to take an honest, good look at yourself. But once I did that, it was very liberating. We're usually told that it's not our fault that it didn't work out. Our friends usually lie to us and tell us that we're too fabulous for the other person, or are polite to make us feel better. Sometimes it really is the other person's fault, but not as often as we are lead to believe.

It wasn't all me though, there were some men that I went out with that registered very high numbers on the Douche-Bag-O-Meter. I swear, those make for some very good stories over sugary alcoholic drinks.

But then again I realize that had I made better choices, I probably could've avoided that too. But not always. Sometimes you really don't know who you're dealing with. They come wrapped in such a nice package and when you open it, you get an ugly surprise.

Relationships I would have to say are the hardest are of my life to deal with. I am very independent, and unless I am completely happy, I would rather be single. Plus, I am afraid of being tied down.

I have spent years wondering what's wrong with me, for not having steady relationships. That there's something wrong that everyone else but me can see. I have wondered why everyone around me is happy with someone, but why God can't provide that for me.

But recently I realized that He could've and probably did, but that I still had a lot of growing up to do. It doesn't matter who was in front of me. I had so much growing and learning to do that it would've never worked out anyway. When you are in your early twenties, you don't realize how immature you still are. You think you've acquired wisdom, but you really haven't. I really thought that I was mature. But I go back and read some of my journal entries or think back to how I've handled situations, and I can't believe how I acted.

I feel like I am starting to get a sense of who I am now. Until recently, I didn't know what my passions were in life, I didn't even really know what I wanted out of a partner. I didn't even realize how a relationship takes compromise and how you really need to take care of your partner and keep that person happy.

I could've had the "perfect man", but he would've never stayed around, because I wouldn't have known how to take care of him or compromise. Then he would've bolted and I would've blamed him instead of looking at myself.

And I think that's partly because of the feminist movement and all the bitter women out there.
I grew up hearing "You don't need a man, you can do anything by yourself." I grew up around the media bashing men all the time. I grew up hearing my father get bashed.

And yes, there are a lot of douchey men out there. But when you bash men, the douchey ones simply don't care, and you alienate the good men that do care. The ones that do care about being good run for the hills and don't want to come near a bad attitude.

Also I grew up being taught that I didn't need relationships, it was insinuated that you were weak if you longed for a relationship and didn't just focus on yourself. To this day, I still feel weak for wanting someone to share a life with.

I am glad that I am getting a chance to take a hard, honest look at myself. I really needed this and while I have a very long way to go, I really hope that I can change my ways in time.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Meme whore is back !!!

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:: YES, AND IT CAN WORK
What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?:: HAHA, 12 YEARS...... AND YES, I'VE ALREADY BEEN JUDGED FOR IT .....
Ever been in a car wreck?:: YES
Were you popular in high school?:: OH NO WAY, I WAS A TOTAL DORK
Have you ever been on a blind date?:: YES
Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??:: YES
By what age would you like to be married?:: I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S UP TO GOD.
Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?:: IT CAN, BUT I NEVER ASK, THEY USUALLY LIE
Have you ever made a mistake?:: WELL, DUH !
Are you a good tipper?:: YES, I WAS A SERVING WENCH FOR 4 YEARS
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?:: 50 BUCKS, BUT I HAD TOTAL SEXY, SMOKIN BEDROOM HAIR, SO IT WAS WORTH IT
Have you ever peed in public?:: NEGATIVO
What song do you want played at your funeral?:: SERIOUSLY, I DON'T CARE, I'D BE DEAD
Would you tell your parents if you were gay?:: I DUNNO, BUT I AM NOT GAY
Beatles or Stones?:: BEATLES
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:: THE PERSON WHO ASKED THIS QUESTION ON THE SURVEY
Beer, wine or hard liquor?:: WINE, IT'S HEALTHIER FOR THE HEART
Do you have any phobias?:: YES
What are your plans for the future?:: FINISH SCHOOL, GET MY OWN PLACE, GET A NEW JOB
If you were an animal what would you be?:: A BIRDIE SO THAT I COULD FLY
Hair color you like on someone you're dating?:: DARK BROWN
Would you rather be blind or deaf?:: DEAF
Do you have any special talents?:: YES, I CAN IMMITATE A CAT HACKING UP A FUR BALL
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:: SAY HI TO THE ROOMMATE
Do you like horror or comedy?:: COMEDY
Are you missing anyone?:: NEGATIVE
If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?:: HAHA, I DON'T ANSWER SUCH QUESTIONS ON A PUBLIC JOURNAL
Where do you want to live when you are old?:: BARCELONA
Who is the person you can count on the most?:: MY OLD MAN (DAD)
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:: MARK CONSUELOS
What did you dream last night?:: I DON'T REMEMBER, BUT IT WAS STRESSFUL
What is your favorite sport to watch?:: ICE SKATING
Are you named after anyone?:: NOT THAT I AM AWARE OF
What is your favorite alcoholic drink?:: BAILEYS OVER ICE
Non alcoholic drink?:: NESTEA ICED TEA IN A BOTTLE
Have you ever been in love?:: NOT REALLY, NO
Do you sing in the shower?:: YES
Have you ever been arrested?:: NEGATIVO ::KNOCKS ON WOOD::
What is your favorite Holiday?:: THANKSGIVING
Have you ever caught a fish?:: NEGATIVO
Hello There My Lovelies.............

Happy February ! So I talked to my roommate and he said that he will be here at least until the end of March. Previously, I thought that I may have to move out by the end of Feb.

I am relieved for now. School is over for me at the end of March, and by then I will have my certificate. By then the job market should pick up a little, at least in the legal field. Once school is over, I can look for a second job too. I was so worried that I would have to move out in the middle of the quarter. That would've been a nightmare. Besides, I just did that last quarter and it was stressful.

Yes, I am still worried that my roommate may have to end up going back to Ireland, but at least I have more time than I thought. At least things aren't as bad as I thought. Which is good, I feel like I got a second chance.

Times are tough, and I am lucky to still even have a job. I have been treating each paycheck as my last. Slowly saving up a little money each month as an emergency fund. I read the papers and hear about the layoffs and it's so depressing. It didn't really hit me until my roommate lost his job. Now I definitely feel the fear and anxiety that everyone else does.

While I visited my grandma over Christmas she talked about the stock market crash of 1929 and the Great Depression that followed. She also lived during the Prohibition. (She was born in 1920)

She told me how her dad played the stock market and it affected them. They had to cut back a lot of food, but over the holidays they splurged and stuffed themselves for a few days after.
So for Christmas, she stuffed my stocking with the goodies she got in her stocking during that time: Apples, oranges, cookies, chocolate and candy canes.

Anywho, that's all for now. It's superbowl Sunday, so enjoy the festivities !