Saturday, October 31, 2009

Europe and the bathroom

Hello My Little Chinchillas,

I hope you little fur coats had a fabulous Halloween. I have been feeling exhausted lately, so I opted to relax and take it easy. I opted not to spend money on a costume or go out and flirt with those of the male species. They'll get over it.

Instead, I decided to burn some cash by going to Borders. I don't really believe in travel books, but I broke down and bought Rick Steve's Europe Through the Back Door 2010 book.

Europe through the back door ? Sounds like something my friend Sergio would like. Especially since he spend a couple of weeks teabagging Austria, Hungary, Germany and Spain in September.

I am eligible for a vacation in a couple of weeks, and I hope that I will soon be able to visit Amsterdam. I am hoping to make it next February during the winter when flights are cheaper, and there are less tourists. I've always wanted to visit the Anne Frank house. That and her house on Merwedeplein 34, the house she lived in with her family before they were hidden. I know that house on Merwedeplein is closed to the public, but I wanted to see the neighborhood for myself. That house now houses artists that are persecuted in their homelands. Who knows if I will end up going. A girl can dream, right ?

Other than my trip to the bookstore today, I heard an ad on the radio, urging us to use less toilet paper.

First, there was a radio ad urging us to use less water on our lawns. Fine with me. We are seriously lacking water in California.

Then, there was an add urging us to cut our showers down by a couple of minutes. Okay, sure. Cutting down on a shower by a couple of minutes each time does add up to significant savings over time.

But today, the ad by some agency paid by our county was urging us to cut down on the amount of toilet paper we use when pissing and shitting. Okay, now I object ! Dear county of mine, please stay out of my goddamn bathroom and let me clean my backside in private. What's next ? A witty little rhyme "If it's brown flush it down, if it's yellow let it mellow?"

When it comes to wiping my ass, I don't want any instruction. I will use as much toilet paper as possible to get the job done. End of story.

Anyway, time to go use the bathroom.

Ciao for now. Abrazos y besos !

Friday, October 30, 2009

Omg !

Hello My Little French Pastries !

I had an interview this morning.

While I was in the interview and doing my best to convince Mr. Esq that I would be the perfect candidate for his practice, I accidentally farted.

Before that happened, I said something witty. I wasn't trying to be funny, but he asked me a question, so I answered it honestly. (We all know my honesty isn't always the best policy) So when he kinda laughed, I don't know if it was because of what I said, or because of what my ass said. It wasn't that loud, but then again, it wasn't that quiet either. I guess some things in life are just meant to be a mystery....

After I left the office, I stepped in dog shit. I was wondering what died, when I looked down and saw the present at the bottom of my shoe.

When I got home, I thought I lost my phone, and was frantically searching for it, so I didn't have time to eat.

I haven't eaten anything all day.

But the good news is.............. I saved 15% or possibly more on my auto insurance by switching to Geico. Actually, I lied. (Geico charges more than my current carrier)

Really though, the good news is that Mr. Esq liked me, and said that I am a good candidate, and said that he believes everything I told him ( I wonder how much bs the other candidates were feeding him). He really drilled me with questions, too. He said he will let me know next week.

I know that by telling you this, that I am probably jinxing myself. But I don't give a shit. I've had so many close calls with interviews that this wouldn't faze me anyway.

I've been feeling kinda feisty all week. I feel like the little frilly dragon below in the Geico commercial in the 16th second. It suits me, especially because I tend to eat all the mints in real life.

Well, my little desserts that is all for now. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.

Besos !

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dear Mr. Physical Therapist...........

Dear Mr. Physical Therapist...................

First of all, thank you for all your help, I am finally starting to feel some relief. You also seem to genuinely care about those you treat, and I appreciate that. And a huge thank you for offering to hand out my resume to the appropriate people. That was wonderful, and I am greatful.

But please do keep the following in mind...............

1.) All of us are in one big room, so when you talk to me, everyone else gets to hear what comes out of my mouth as well.

With that said, I was shocked when after you asked if my parents are divorced, you then proceeded to ask why. Why ? I said "differences of opinion."

You kinda snickered and got the hint that I didn't want to talk about it so you explained that you got divorced 8 years ago and have children around my age, so you wanted to know why. Then you waited for me to answer again, so I said "It's long and complicated."

Trust me, you don't want to know why. I don't even like to think back and remember why, and if I told you the whole story, you wouldn't even believe me anyway and then you would label me the crazy lady, so no, you didn't get an answer from me, nor will you in the forseeable future.

2.) When I looked at you like I was disgusted, I was not disgusted at you personally, nor was I doubting your opinions or your advice. I simply was put off by the fact that I saw you massaging the feet of two different people after they were doing a little workout, and then came over to me and had your hands on my neck and scalp. I could still smell that strong gel on your hands. In fact, my hair smelled like that nasty ass icey gel.

I was simply try to remember if I saw you wash your hands or not. I couldn't verify it since I was busy doing my own excercises. I guess I will never know. But thanks for helping me smell like a foot.

3.) When you are working on my jaw, your face is pretty close to mine. Could you please for the love of Baby Jesus have a mint ? It smells like something died in your mouth.

Have you ever seen Ace Ventura Pet Detective ? Did you know that I can quote almost the whole movie ? You should give it a watch sometime.

Anyway, remember when Ace stood up, turned around and talked out of his ass ? His ass said, "Excuse me, I'd like to ASS you a few questions.................. Do you have a mint.......... or perhaps some Binaca ?" Or remember when he made his ass cough and sing ? Asshole...a....mia.......Oh ! Sodomia................

Yeah, well that totally reminded me of you, so when you are dealing with me and I have a smirk on my face, please know what is going through my brain.

4.) Those jaw excercises you are having me do at home, they make me look like I am giving head. I am sure you got a kick out of that when you had me do it to make sure I got it right. Damn, this TMJ condition.

5.) Isn't there another way I can do my arm excercises ? I don't like laying on my stomach and lifting my arms up with weights. My boobs are pressed against the table and it hurts.

Okay, so that is all for now. Have a nice weekend, and we'll do this little dance again on Monday.


Your patient

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

BS Craigslist Requests...................

Hello My Little Mourning Doves.........

I live in the SF Bay Area. I am also always perusing Craigslist for a nice apartment, or a better job.

I like to laugh at the ads for rooms that state there is "a big walking closet" (walk-in closet). Oh really ? Will it walk up to me and scare me in the middle of the night too ?

There are also many ads for rooms where they charge you full rent, yet they don't want you to use the kitchen. Recently, I found a guy who said that he preferred a roommate that liked to stay in his room.

Anywhore, I am not really here to squawk about housing on Craigslist.

I wanted to share with you this little gem, especially since I know there are a few of you in the legal field:

Hello. I am a Pro Per as the plaintiff in a civil harassment case against my neighbors.

I am needing a paralegal for the usual stuff. Helping me with motions, opposition to motions, discovery, etc. Since I'm new to this, I will need help understanding how to respond, which forms, my options in responding, etc.
This is in Alameda county but the paralegal can be in the greater SF Bay area.
The case has already been filed, so I'm looking for a paralegal that can get started fairly quickly. The work will be part-time freelance and sporadic as the case progresses. But I would like a paralegal that can stick with the case all the way through trial if that occurs.

Please respond by letting me know your experience in civil litigation, your compensation, and other information you feel is relevant. Thanks.


I just can't possibly address all the thoughts going through my head.

I know lawyers are expensive. It's expensive to practice law. I know I couldn't afford one right now.

But this guy is not only too cheap to hire an attorney, he wants a paralegal to do everything the attorney does, including the entire discovery process ! LOL.

Paralegals can only work under attorneys or in law firms or government agencies. They are basically the attorneys' bitches and can only work under their direction. For good reason, if there is a major screw-up the attorneys are held liable.

I was almost tempted to "apply" for this bullshit offer, as I wanted to see how he would question me, and how he would critique my resume, knowing that he wouldn't have an idea of what to ask me. Like what was he going to pay me ? $10 an hour ?

The sad thing is, he will probably get someone that responds. Oh wait, I did........ I told him he was crazy, what he was asking is illegal, and that he should do his own legal research.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Random Questions From an Ex Myspace Whore

Hello There My Little Pumpkin Pies,

I used to be on Myspace, but I took it down last year before summer. Now the latest social fad is Facebook. Everyone including my 89 year old grandma is up there, but I haven't made the leap yet. I really should, as it would be valuable in connecting with distant relatives with my last name.

How about Twitter ? Any Twitter whores out there ? It's a good thing I'm not up there I would be tweeting about my bathroom escapades. I would tweet mainly about my morning dumps. Yes my little desserts, I am that nasty. No shame, and no I didn't get that from my mother.

But in the meantime, while I contemplate leaping into another social circle, I did one of those random teeny-bopper surveys from Myspace..................

More Completely Random Survey Questions

Have Fun Taking this Unique MySpace Survey!

Is your second toe longer than your first?No
Do you have a favorite type of pen?No
Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?I don't plan that far ahead
What color are your toenails usually?Blood red (that's the name)
What was the last thing you highlighted?Something at work
What color are your bedroom curtains?I have blinds
What color are the seats in your car?Grey
Have you ever had a black and white cat?No
What is the last thing you put a stamp on?A handwritten note
Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?No
Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?I wanted food money
Who is the last baby that you held?I can't remember, it's been so long
Do you know of any twins with rhyming names?I think Neena and Veena, the bellydancing twins
Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?No way
What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?The same I am now
Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida GatorsI couldn't care less
Last time you went to Six Flags?15 years ago when it was Marine World
Do you have any wallpaper in your house?No, that is so eighties
Closest thing to you that is yellow:Medicine tube
Last person to give you a business card?One of my recruiters
Who is the last person you wrote a check to?Doctor
Closest framed picture to you?Grandma and grandpa
Last time you had someone cook for you?Over the weekend
Have you ever applied for welfare?No
How many emails do you have?I am an e-mail whore, at least 5
Last time you received flowers/flower?Shit, I can't remember
Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?I believe in marriage, period
What are you listening to right now?Miley Cyrus
Do you play air guitar?Hahaha, no
Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?No
What is your high school's rival mascot?Hahaha, that was so ten years ago !
who is the last person you talked to from high school?Shira, we went to our reunion together
Last time you used hand sanitizer?Today at work
Would you like to learn to play the drums?A tablah, yes as it's used in bellydance
What color are the blinds in your living room?White
What is in your inbox at work?Passdowns for my shift
Last thing you read in the newspaper?The newspaper in Spanish talking about the mortgage crisis
What was the last pageant you attended?Never
What is the last place you bought pizza from?Pizza My Heart
Have you ever worn a crown?No
What is the last thing you stapled?Your tongue for asking such a question......
Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?No, me no likey Pepsi
Are you ticklish?Yes
Last time you saw fireworks?July 4th
Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?Don't remember, but it was goood......
Who is the last person that left you a message on your cell?Henry
Last time you parked under a carport?Don't remember
Do you have a black dog?No
Do you have any pickles in your fridge?Yes
How long have they been there??Have no idea, they are not mine
Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?My mom, but I like mine too
Last time you saw a semi truck?Today ?
Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?No
Do you have a little black dress?Yes, it's a hot dress too
Take this survey

Monday, October 26, 2009

Open letters to my yoga classes...........

Dear Mr. Hotness.............

So I was sitting on my yoga mat, waiting for the instructor to show up. You know how it is, yoga class at the gym....... it's usually a clamfest with a hint of old sausage.

And then you showed up. Nice, fit man with nice pectorals. Now I know that you work out, and I am willing to bet that you eat your leafy greens and take your vitamins. Now you are opening your chakras. Good for you !

It is so rare that men show up to a yoga class, let alone a good looking one. Last week, there was this wannabe thug-looking guy who came to the class and could barely hold a pose. But that didn't really count in my book. But you ? Yes, you counted............

Anyway, yes, I was totally staring at you, trying to be sly about it. No, I do not care if you saw me. I am shy and would never have worked up the nerve to talk to you anyway. So I was enjoying the view, and admiring your nice broad shoulders, and moving down your arms until.............. BAM !!! I saw a thick gold wedding band. It's like you smacked me with that gold band. Next time, why don't you just aim for the heart ?

Would you please go do the downward dog in someone else's class ? I don't want to be distracted when I should be focusing on my breathing and thinking pure thoughts.


The girl three mats over.

Dear woman in the wrong yoga pants,

Hi, I don't know your name, but that's not really relevant. You won't want to know mine after I am done enlightening you.

So..... I was just getting ready for class when you walked in. First of all, you are a thin woman and those pants you have on make you look kinda flabby, when you really aren't. Also, they hug your body in the wrong places. Those pants have a knack for making you look flabby while giving you a huge camel toe. I didn't know that such a thing was possible. And no, I was not staring at you. You were a sight that just could not be avoided. Please keep in mind that when I looked up you were walking in my general direction AND........ the whole room is surrounded by mirrors. So we were all treated to different angles of what you were displaying.

Just an FYI..........


Dear yoga instructors,

Keep up the great work ! Thank you for not making us do the Crow.

Namaste !

P.S: This is the Crow. I have the upper arm strength of a kitten, so it's not a favorite of mine...........

Advertising Bullshit

Hello there my fuzzy little ducklings,

So I was pondering some of the advertising bullshit that we're subjected to on a daily basis.

Wanna hear my thoughts ? Thought you would never ask.............

1.) Who came up with the term "easy payments"? Like when you are watching TV for something useless, usually on channels like QVC or HSN where those ladies with fake nails are holding up jewelry or gabbing about a bag. Then they say it could be yours for just 3 easy payments ! Plus shipping and handling, which they say real fast so you hopefully don't hear it.

Just hand us over the money ! It's so easy, you won't even know that we took it ! And we'll take it in small amounts, so that you'll feel better. Basically, they hope that you are so stupid that you can't add up the separate payments to see how much you've actually spent.

I don't know about you, but I bust my ass for every red cent I earn. As my friend Porkstar said, I am a work skank extraordinaire ! So that means that there is nothing easy about me handing over my cash.

If you feel handing your cash over is easy, please contact me and I don't mind helping you. It's my pleasure........... You can hand it over to me in small installments if it makes you feel any better. Your welcome :)

2.) This one is for the ladies ! Have you heard about NuvaRing ? Well, I have, because of the same commercial that has been on many of the shows I watch for over a year now. The same commercial with the ladies in the pool singing "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every day..... Aaaah !........... and repeat !" Oh, that and the slogan "break free from the pack".

For those of you that don't know, its a montly vaginal contraceptive and I wish it would stop airing, as I wish I didn't have the song and saying burned into my brain. Every time I watch TV,the commercial comes on to haunt me.

And for the record, from what I hear you may gain weight from using that or feel depressed. So if you use it, it's probably effective because you're too busy feeling fat and self conscious about the new ass you grew or too depressed to get it on with your lover. Just a thought. But of course, the ladies in the pool in the commercial don't want you to know that. They're just busy with girly drinks in the pool !

3.) Hair dye commercials crack me up ! You can get fabulous hair in just ten minutes ! Such commercials usually have women in a public restroom stressing over their hair ! But no problem, they have the hair dye, and out they walk from the public restroom in their nice business suits with fabulous, sexy, come-do-me hair.

It never takes just ten minutes to dye your hair. You just let it sit and burn through your scalp for ten minutes, and that's before washing out all the dye and styling your hair.

4.) The lastest Vagisil commercials make me laugh. Like recently I was watching a show, probably on the Oxygen Network while watching The Notebook, when BAM ! a Vagisil commercial came on. The announcer basically said that when you suffer from feminine odor or itching, you just don't feel like yourself. In the commercial there was a woman looking in the window while shopping, and she looked sad, like she was too distraught to go in and make a purchase.

Isn't that going too far ? A little feminine problems "down there" never stopped a girl from buying a new skirt or a new pair of shoes. Also, I laugh at the emphasis on "feminine itch". Like, what else do you think the product is used for with a name like Vagisil ? It's not called Penisil. I don't think I could ever imagine a man mistakenly buy it for himself, especially when the packaging is quite frilly and feminine.

I think products like that are better kept off the TV set. We know what they are for, I don't think there is a woman out there (unless she's new to the country) that hasn't heard of Vagisil. It's one of those products that we know is out there, and we know we need it, so when we need it we will go and buy it. We don't need reminders.

Gentlemen, I am sorry if I grossed you out.

Anywho, my fuzzy little quackers that is all for this morning.......

Sunday, October 25, 2009

From An Older Woman To A Younger Woman

Hello My Little Fuzzy Apricots....................

I love reading the Best of Craigslist. Basically taking the best posts of all sections (dating, for sale, rants and raves, etc....) and posting them in the hall of fame section. Sometimes it's full of potty humor or sexual humor. Once in a blue moon, people nominate a truly touching post. Like the one I'm posting today.

In this post, a woman posting from Los Angeles wrote young women and offered her advice. I copied it below for you to read.

As I've mentioned before in other blog posts, I come from a family of strong women on both sides, with special emphasis on my grandmothers from both sides. My Austrian grandma, Olga, made sure I learned German, she taught me how important falling in love is, how to be kind to others and help those less fortunate. My Grandma Ruth has shown me by example how to be kind to others, how to be financially independent, and how to be in a loving relationship.

It's not like they sat me down and talked to me about these things, except about being in love. They just lived their lives and showed me how to act by example. And during the whole time they spoiled me and showed me a lot of affection. They both made it through war, they both lost their husbands and successfully found love with good men after, and they both were housewives when they needed to be and held jobs during a time women were told to just stay home. My Grandma Ruth joined NOW and met Betty Friedan in its early stages, but said she left after it was taken over by women who were manhaters and didn't promote equality in a respectful manner..

Anyway, below is what my grandmothers would say to me, even though they never really had to. They acted like the example. The only thing I should mention is that the woman who wrote this was probably a lesbian and gives a couple of pointers to lesbians, which is the only thing I can't relate to since I am straight and don't know what it's like to be gay nowadays.

Anyway, here is what she had to say. I especially think it applies to us young women today, since I think we could use more role models:

1. You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, don't take the pussy route and blame the world for your misfortune. If you were sexually assaulted, verbally abused, etc and lived to tell about it; take your pain and help those who need it. Writing emo poetry isn't going to solve anything.

2. Invest in your education first, your looks second. Anyone can pay a plastic surgeon to look hot, but not everyone can read a book and do simple math.

3. No matter what you call it, having a 'man to take you shopping' is glorified prostitution. He wants you for your body, you want him for his wallet. Cut the crap and call it what it is.

4. Do not seek confidence in other people. Magazines, celebrities and most pop influences are there to make you feel like you're nothing. Don't buy into it. Those celebrities need your money to look fabulous. Invest in yourself, not hype.

5. Stop fueling gossip mongers [Perez Hilton, TMZ.]. They have nothing to talk about and if you follow them for long, neither will you.

6. Be modest; why have all your goods unwrapped and leave nothing for the imagination?

7. Know the difference between fucking and love. There is a major difference and if you don't know it, pick up a book or ask someone who does.

8. Do not have children just because you're lonely or insecure. Your child will end up hating you for it and you won't get the emotional blanket you hoped you'd get.

9. Get a job. Seriously. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you are excused from work. Find a trade, get a job. If you are a house wife, be a good one. If you are a career woman, put your heart into what you do.

10. A respectable companion is rarely at a 'bar' or da club'. These places are meat markets and will only set you up for a douchebag or a wimp. If you go, refer to rule 7.

11. Learn to cook. Cooking is a dying skill that needs not be. You'd be surprise how much weight you lose and how you can get a decent companion if you know more than picking up a phone and calling for dinner.

12. Get off your phone. If it's not your best friend, your job or your family, your cackling is not important and the rest of the world does not want to hear it. Listen more. Talk less.

13. Stop putting so much of your money into things [purses, shoes, make up] and start putting it into a savings account, a 401k or an IRA. Those shoes are not going to vest when you turn 65.

14. Stop using men to get you stuff. Have some self respect and buy your own drinks, meals and entertainment. A date will respect you more if you show them you are not helpless.

15. Perfume and baby powder does not make up for good hygiene. Shower, do your laundry, clean your place. Body odor is not excusable for either genders.

16. If you are a Lesbian, respect yourself and stop trying to find acceptance in the world. 9/10 they will not accept you. Tell them 'fuck you' and be your own woman.

17. If you are a Lesbian, you are not anymore special or important than anyone else. You love other women and you have that right, but do not flex your preference thinking it makes you unique. Your mind and experiences make you unique, either gay or straight.

18. Buy clothes that fit. Be tasteful with your clothing be you big or small.

19. Don't eat for comfort, vomit to make yourself beautiful, and starve yourself to feel loved. Exercise, be sensible with your food choices, don't deprive yourself but never eat too much. The quickest way to a size 30, and to the grave, is past your teeth.

20. If they say the love you, ask them to earn your heart through good deeds, genuine kindness and respect.

21. Romance is not dead; but if you're not willing to give it, don't expect it in return.

22. Stop being a bitch to other women and other people. If you are not happy, go get therapy. No one deserves to be berated because you don't have the guts to berate yourself.

23. Do something new every day. Pole dance to learn about your sensuality, paint to express your creativity, write a blog to express your soul. Evolve and never stop learning.

24. Look in the mirror everyday and smile at what you see.

25. Stay safe. Learn to defend yourself against one or multiple attackers. Jackals do not attack if they see a big stick. If all else fails, run. There is no shame in running if it keeps you safe.26. Love yourself. Always. When you love yourself to the fullest, the world will open with opportunities.

Here is the link

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Weekend is Finally Here..............

Hello My Little Little Calling Birds.....................

Thank God that it's the weekend. I've been sick and exhausted lately, and I will finally be able to sleep in tomorrow.........

This morning I had to be up early for our all day annual paralegal meeting at my local organization. I am so glad I went. I've been feeling discouraged in this job market, especially since I've been on a good amount of interviews and still am waiting for that first job in my career.

But I saw the very first recruiter I met a couple of years ago when I first went back to school. That was when I had no idea what a paralegal really does and how the legal world works. She sent me on an interview a couple of days later to an IP law firm for an interview in the mail room. I was so close to getting hired, but in the end it didn't happen. Looking back, that was a blessing, the rejection motivated me to devote all my free time to my classes and volunteering, where I've met a lot of great people. Had I been hired, I would've been too busy commuting and working with less time to study, working in a mail room with people I didn't even really like.

Since then I've graduated with good grades, volunteered for a couple of places and built up my resume. She said that my resume looks great, and that I should keep doing what I am doing and keep in contact with her.

At first, even though I had a four year degree, except for a couple of nice placement agencies, I either got ignored or laughed at by other recruiters. Now I am on the same playing field as everyone else.

I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to most, but after graduating from college with my business degree I really thought that I was going to have a better job with a good salary. But that didn't happen, especially since I never even really liked what I got my degree in. It made me kinda miserable, and in interviews I just couldn't feel confident and sell myself.

It took a while, but I finally realized that if I wanted to be happy, I would need to go back to school in something I actually liked. I kind of stumbled on the profession accidentally, but I am glad I finally found what makes my mind tick. It took a while just to find out what I really like.

At the meeting today I caught up with old classmates and got to listen to the speakers. We had some excellent speakers. Basically, a refresher of my courses.

Since I got out of school this past spring, I feel like I've been forgetting concepts and it's a constant struggle just to keep my mind sharp.

So today was a nice day to catch up with my friends, get some free stuff, eat lunch and hopefully get a job.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sarah's Key Review-- Part Three, My Opinions ( Last, long post)

Hello Again My Little Plumcakes,

So yesterday I gave you a little historical background into the book, Sarah's Key. I talked about the roundups known as La Grande Rafle of July, 1942.

The book also talks about Drancy, a French transit concentration camp the victims were held at, until they were deported to their final destinations.

I will give you a small spoiler and tell you that Sarah managed to escape Drancy and runaway to a nearby farm. She did everything she could to get back to her old apartment to rescue her brother, and she does get there. The rest, you will pretty much have to find out yourself if this book interests you. It seems like I gave you a lot, but there are enough twists and turns in the book.

One thing I liked is that the author, Tatiana actually interviewed survivors of the roundups and Drancy. She researched the history. She made a few good points. One being that Parisians don't want to talk about this. Throughout the book, she mentioned that it was difficult to find people willing to open up and talk about these events. You have the French that complied with these awful laws that just want the past to go away. Then you have the victims who have been through so much trauma that they don't want to talk about it.

I enjoyed this book a lot because it talked about events in history that have been covered up for so long. It was great for introducing me to these events, so I can do more research if I like.

One thing that I've discovered in life, is that if you want answers, and you keep asking and searching, eventually you will stumble upon something. There is usually someone out there who has answers or can help you find what you are looking for.

My great-grandparents have been a complete mystery, and right now that besides a couple of pictures of them, and memories my grandpa shared, they never existed. But I've been slowly getting information out of different people, and unexpectedly from my grandmother who, though had never met them, met other family members who knew them. There is always a survivor out there, or at least a close family member or someone that knows something......

Anyway, back to the book...........

Another thing that I liked what that the author mentioned repeatedly how hidden these landmarks were from society and how the French pretend it never happened. That many people living near the places these horrific events took place either have no idea what happened, or simply don't care. It was mentioned that many young people the character ran into just had no clue.

However, the book isn't without some flaws, or attitudes that I disagree with.

Here is what I disagreed with:

1.) The characters were fictional, but the events were not. But I think that Sarah's story was just a little unrealistic. Don't get me wrong, her story was sad, and I suppose it could've been realistic. But unlikely.

-First she escapes from Drancy because one of the police officers there took pity on her because he often saw her on the streets growing up. (This was just too hard to believe)

-Then she hides in the forest (skinny and shaved head) without the Germans catching her (Not likely, but I went along with it)

-She then makes it to various farms and although she gets turned down by the first couple of houses, she ends up meeting a really nice older couple who adopt her like their own. ( So unbelievable, wouldn't other people have hit them up first ? Wouldn't they be afraid of getting caught ? The temptation of turning them and getting a reward was strong for many people)

-The older couple raised her along with their sons as their own child

So basically she was just getting lucky time after time ( I left out a couple of more key lucky events) in such difficult times during the war, that just rubbed me the wrong way.

When it comes to writing books about the Holocaust with fictional characters, I really think that sometimes authors take things too far. If Sarah were a real person, I would've enjoyed this a lot more, knowing that she finally had good things happening to her. But to me, presenting a fictional character that just happens to be at the right place at the right time with the right person time after time is just a cop out and not realistic. Most Holocaust survivors had it so much worse. And it's a shame, because it paints an unrealistic picture to the readers and in a way kind of rewrites history.

2.) As I mentioned earlier, there were two stories in the book: That of the American reporter, Julia, who was instructed to research the arrests of July 1942, and Sarah, the ten year old little girl who was arrested with her family.

Basically Julia discovers that Sarah's story hits a little close to home, and I can't give out more details ( I already gave a lot of information).

Julia was an American married to a French man, and she had French papers and a French daughter.

What I didn't like is that she felt the need to reach out and apologize to some survivors in the book. Especially since she was not alive during that era, and the US did not participate in such events. Yet she felt that she had to take some responsibility, when I think she should have left it alone. It doesn't come across as right, and survivors don't feel any better. In fact, you would get wierd looks.

I also didn't like how she judged some of the French characters in the book. When she realized that apartments that once belonged to Jewish families were occupied by new people quickly, she was quick to judge regular French citizens. How could they not know that the family before them was deported ? Where did they think the apartments came from at such a cheap price ? How dare they just move in with researching it first ?

I didn't like the fact that she expected people back then to risk their lives and the lives of their families to save strangers. That is not how the world works. Do you save your family or risk their lives to help complete strangers ? That is a tough question. Her expecting people to all be brave and think of others was a little unrealistic. Honestly, if I were in that situation, I don't know what I would've done. Maybe I would've tried to help, but if I had small children and a husband, would I risk our lives just to help out a stranger ? Maybe if I had a good chance of not getting caught. But you can't judge someone for looking out for their family first, as many people were just trying to survive.

In reality, many people did not know the whole story of what was going on. Concentration camps weren't broadcasted in the news now. Everyone lived on lies back then. We know now, but back then, it was uncertain times, and life was hard for everyone during the war. My grandmother in Austria and our family didn't face religious persecution, but they did loose their homes, they faced hunger, and people died in battle.

During those times, you take what you get and you are in survival mode. If you finally find a place to live, you take it. Your family is first. You feed and provide for your family, and don't ask questions, especially about people you never met and couldn't help.

Don't get me wrong, I think that there were plenty of bad apples that turned people in for arrest, and aided the government out of malice. But, I think that there were more people that were ignorant than malicious. Laws against Jews were introduced slowly, and no one really knew what happened to them at the time they were deported.

Sometimes I think that as Americans, we are too apologetic, we try to say we're sorry, like had we been there we could've stopped horrific events from happening. Like our sympathy is going to rewrite the wrongs of the past. I just didn't like how that came across in the book.

Anyway, sorry for the scattered thoughts.

If you are interested in a real Holocaust story, where a woman survived, experienced multiple miracles of her own, and is still living, you can read:

"I will Plant you a Lilac Tree" By Laura Hillman. She was on Schindler's List as Hannelore Wolfe, which you will find at the bottom of the list. She was my grandfather's companion for years after his latest wife passed away. My grandpa passed away in 2006, and she was one of the few people who could tolerate him. My grandpa was not a nice man, charming at first, but not in private. Yet she stood by him, and they really loved each other. He cared for her, and she was with him until the end.

I haven't heard from her in a while, but she is often busy spending time with her own family, her son and her grandchildren. She treasures the family she has left deeply, and it moves me. I hope she is doing well. I think you would all love her book.

That is all for this book review. I will break in a couple of my new book finds, and report back when I am finished.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sarah's Key-- Part Deux, If Walls Could Talk

This is a continuation of the book I started reviewing yesterday, Sarah's Key by Tatiana De Rosnay. I just learned that they are currently making this into a film, and are filming in France. The film will be released next year.

In Sarah's Key, Sarah and her family were woken up in the middle of the night by the French police and taken to the Velodrome D'Hiver until their deportation to the concentration camps. Back then, the victims weren't told where they were going. This roundup is also known as La Grande Rafle. In the story, Sarah had every intention of going back to rescue her younger brother who she locked in the secret cabinet.

Of course, if these families were lucky to survive the concentration camps and come back home, they discovered that their old residences were inhabited by new people. After these places were emptied in the roundups, the owners look quickly for replacements, and usually at a cheap price. During that time, everyone was suffering in the war, so if you found a really cheap place, you didn't ask questions as to who lived there before, or why it was offered so cheaply. You just took it.

Here are some pictures of a Parisian apartment which I found off this blog, Peacock Feathers.

Here is the actual blog posting where she is talking about the renovation of this apartment with her friends (totally unrelated to what I am talking about here):

Please keep in mind that I've never been to Paris, and I don't know the history of this particular apartment. But to me, it looks like it has some old charm of the past. Most pictures of Parisian apartments posted online are modern and full of rennovations, and therefore couldn't use them for this little book review.

The Velodrome D'Hiver aka Vel' d'Hiv on Rue Nelaton which was used to contain the rounded up Jewish Parisians, used to be an indoor stadium for sporting events up until 1942. It eventually was torn down in 1959 as it was damaged in a fire, and no longer exists. Today that site is occupied by a block of flats and a building belonging to the Ministry of the Interior.

Here is a picture of the victims crammed in the sporting event center. They were locked up in here for eight days before being deported to Drancy, a transit campt in France before ending up at a concentration camp, usually Auschwitz. During these 8 days, people were crammed together, the bathrooms were locked up to prevent escape, and there was a lack of food and water. If you research this, you will be most appalled at the treatment of the children. The conditions were deplorable while the French police just stood by and did nothing.

The apartment featured in the book was an apartment on la rue de Saintonge, and it is a character all on its own, and helps to bring the past and the present together in the book.

Also, the author mentioned that part of her inspiration for writing Sarah's Key was her interest in places and houses. How places and houses keep memories, and how walls can talk if you pay attention and listen. Don't you ever wonder what your house has been through ? I know I did when I stayed in my Austrian grandmother's apartment. Hers was built after World War II and her and my grandfather built a life together there and raised my mom and my aunt. My grandpa also passed away there. The house is still in our family, and I couldn't ever imagine someone else living there. Like the author, I have a fascination with places and houses.

Here is a current view of the street, rue de Saintonge , which I swiped off of Google Images. Basically, the author, Tatiana says (in an interview with her included in the back of the book) that nowadays this neighborhood and surrounding area is upper-middle-class neighborhood of high-rise apartment buildings and parks does not consist of anything of Jewish historical interest, except for a monument.

It was also nearby on Rue Nelaton that the Velodrome D'Hiver stood. So basically, the past and Jewish history of the area has been erased and life goes on. If you look for it, you will see the memorial. Otherwise, it's like these horrific events never took place.

All of this was very close to the Eiffel Tower. So many tourists go and see the Eiffel Tower and talk about fashion, not realizing that hundreds of thousands of people were yanked out of their homes and sent to concentration camps, and their homes ransacked. All pretty much in front of that Eiffel Tower. When you go to countries like Austria, Germany and Poland, you know what happened, and you can find the holocaust memorial sites in travel books. And yet it seems like France has gotten a get out of guilt-free card.

Here is a picture of the sign indicating the location of La Grande Rafle. You can see how close it happened to the Eiffel Tower

The plaque on Rue Nelaton:

To see more pictures go to the site below. Just copy and paste, my blog won't allow me to make the link clickable.

Also, be sure to check out this blog entry:

This guy lives here in San Francisco, but he travels a lot and I love his blog. He visited some of the sites described about and then some ( I used one of his pictures). I love his entire blog, so I hope you enjoy it as much I am.

I am sorry, I have to cut this short here.

I will give more of an opinion about the storyline next time.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My First Book Review- Background

Hello My Little French Hens,

So I will be reviewing my first book here on my blog. If you are looking for a simple review, you are better off at I will be talking about all the reasons this book touched me deeply. In other words, this may take a while.

Here it is: Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.

Basically while I was at the airport waiting to catch my flight to New York at the crack of dawn. I had some time to kill, so I decided to blow some cash at the bookshop. I bought an issue of Cosmo.

I then stumbled upon the cover of the book above. Just the picture alone resonated with me. Two children running with their backs facing the reader, and Old Europe as the backround. I had a feeling it was about sad, historical events. Turns out, it was about France, and their participation in the Holocaust. I was intrigued. France isn't usually a country that comes to mind when discussing the Holocaust. It looked like a non-fiction book and I really wanted to learn something.

I bought the book and decided to continue it on the plane. When I opened the book, I realized that it was a work of fiction. I don't like fiction. I don't like stories. I don't like fantasy. I want to read about peoples' stories that actually took place.

But I decided that I would give the book a try anyway. I am glad that I did. Although I was disappointed in some of the fictional storyline, the book touched me deeply overall. The characters were fictional, but the historical aspect is true.

Europe is so beautiful and rich with history. It's such a shame that such beautiful countries with wonderful cultures have such an ugly past. But I know it's not just Europe. Pretty much everywhere you go has an ugly past even if it isn't in the history books.

In Sarah's Key, the reader gets to see how beautiful Paris, France has such an ugly past in World War II and how the government tried to cover it up for so long. If you go to Paris, you would never know that the French government(acting under orders form the German Gestapo), was responsible for rounding up their Jewish-French citizens and cramming them into the Vélodrome d'Hiver, (an indoor cycle track) before deporting them to concentration camps in July of 1942. For years the French government denied its involvement until French President Chirac decided it was time to own up to their culpability and appologized in 1995.

What is sad, is that none of these locations are mentioned in travel books. You really have to seek out this place in Paris or search for it online and read about them from other travel blogs, which is what I did. I will also cite my sources.

In Sarah's Key, Sarah a ten year old girl and her family are woken up in the middle of the night by the French Police. Sarah locks her brother in a secret cabinet, holds on to the key and promises her brother to return and save him.

Meanwhile, Julia Jarmond, an American journalist in Paris ends up investigating the Velodrome d"Hiver roundups of July 1942 known as La Grande Rafle. Sarah's story hits closer to home than she originally thought.

Each story was told separately until they started coming together as one in the book.

The book covers three topics:

1.) The story line of Sarah and her family, and that of the American reporter Julia Jarmond, who has lived in France for over 25 years. (Fictional)

2.) The actual history behind the Velodrome D'Hiver roundups in July 1942

3.) Being American and living in Paris France, and the struggle of being accepted into Parisian culture.

I will discuss more in my next post along with pictures, blog links and the flaws in the storyline.

What was I thinking ?????

Hello my little nectar sucking hummingbirds,

I am currently 28 and about to turn 29 next month. Ever since I turned 27 I have been doing some serious reflection on my life: Thinking about the past and trying to plan for the future. Just a few years ago when I was in my early twenties, I felt like I had all the time in the world to do whatever. And now, I feel that if I don't grow up fast and come up with a plan, life will pass me by before I know it. Older people laugh at me all the time for feeling this way, but I just think that they have forgotten what it feels like at this age.

People in the spiritual world would say that I am facing my Saturn Return. Here is what Wikipedia has to say:

The Saturn Return is an astrological phenomenon that occurs at the ages of 27-30, 58-60, and finally from 86-88, coinciding with the time it takes the planet Saturn to make one orbit around the sun. It is believed by astrologers that as Saturn "returns" to the degree in which it occupied at the time of birth—approximately every 29.5 years—a person crosses over a major threshold and into the next stage of life. With the first Saturn Return, a person leaves youth behind and enters adulthood. With the second Return, maturity. And the third and usually final Return, a person enters wise old age.

Ever since I turned 27 a lot has happened in my life : I've seen a therapist (something I was raised against), I have conquered a lot of demons from my past, I ended my last relationship, I have moved three times, volunteered for different organizations (wasn't allowed to volunteer freely growing up), graduated and have been working on settling down in my career. Just a lot of changes and I know more change is in my future.

While I am going through this phase, I have also come to the realization, that yeah, I made a lot of poor choices that I thought were brilliant at the time. It's kinda of like I have been living my life with my beer goggles on for the first 28 years, and this year they finally came off. Young age and stupidity do go hand in hand. I refuse to write about some of the dumb shit I did, as most of it will go to the grave with me.

Some of the realizations I've come to while thinking back, and looking at old pictures:

1.) What the hell was I thinking when I went out with him ?
2.) My mom and dad were right when they told me that.
3.) Why on earth did I think all that makeup was hot ?
4.) Pleather is awful. I looked slutty in that.
5.) I really had such a bad outlook on life, it didn't have to be that way.
6.) Why didn't I stand up for myself. Why was I too afraid to defend myself ?
7.) I could've gone a lot further in my life.
8.) I can't believe I said such a thing..... ( I said so many stupid things)

I also reflected on what I've done right:

1.) I am so glad I lived abroad on my own for a year.
2.) I am so glad things didn't work out with my ex.
3.) Going back to school was the smartest thing I've done in a while.
4.) I am glad I got myself out of the massive debt I was in before this recession and I hope that I stay wise in the future.
5.) I am glad I found bellydance.
6.) I am glad that I've learned the hard way in lessons of the heart. I am glad I haven't had it easy with men. I've learned many lessons early and have potential to be a great wife to someone. I know a good man when I see one, and won't let him get away.

I know, this isn't my witty self, my little colored feathery friends. But sometimes I have to be true to myself and write about whatever I feel like.

Speaking of which..............

I have been reading various books lately and will be giving book reviews to books that I find interesting. Kinda like Oprah's book club, but with way, WAY less followers.

I am a book whore, and have no problem walking into Borders and just buying brand new books. I know I should be checking books out from the library, but I love buying a brand new book, and I love that new book paper smell. Something I inherited from my mother.

So expect a review from me soon.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sexy Stocks

Hello My Little Peacocks and Peahens............

I have a knack for making everything dirty, and if you give me a totally innocent phrase, I am sure I could make it skanky/slutty/dirty for you. I am just that resourceful.

I remember when I was in Barcelona working for a telemarketing firm. It was my only way to stay in the country and pay my bills in addition to the unstable private English lessons I gave.

You know, I did not get one solid lead. My boss at the time wanted me to get at least ten solid leads a day, but he made me call businesses out of the phone book, many of which did not even speak English. I would end up calling bakeries in Belgium and wood shops in Switzerland, many of which would laugh at me. So to get through the day I would just write fake leads, about ten of them, maybe a little less so I could make it look like I struggled, and hand them in. I would usually ask for names, and even though they would tell me they were not interested, I would send them the prospectus anyway. I never got one solid lead in the total eight months I was there, yet they kept me there. I don't know why, I do have big boobs though. But you know what ? I made enough money to live comfortably. Life was a hustle alone in a foreign country and I somehow made it without having to literally whore myself out. I just opted for phonewhoring financial opportunities instead.

Anyway, we had to pitch financial opportunities. For eight months, I was on the phone eight hours a day calling people all over Europe. It got really boring really fast.

I told my boss I was in the wrong business and that I should pitch sexy stocks instead, but he told me to shut up and get back on the fucking phone. He doesn't know what he missed out on. I could've been one of those chicks pitching sexy stocks while eating a bag of chips or filing my nails.

What if I changed my name to Eva and threw the following lines at you, would you be interested in investing ?:

"You have a very large portfolio"

"If you hire me, I intend to keep you abreast of what's going on in the market on a daily basis"

"I would love to help you enhance your portfolio through diversification. More is better"

"Perhaps we can chat over coffee to discuss if the stimulus package will benefit you."

"Currently, the value of your portfolio is down, but I can help you get it back up again."

"You seem busy, perhaps you would like to show me your portfolio in a more private setting ?" My office or yours ?"

"After talking about stocks, I would like it if we can move onto bondage, I mean....bonds."

Please give me your input. (No pun intended)

Love, chocolates and kisses,


Monday, October 19, 2009

The Claws Are Out Again.....................

Dear co-worker on the grave shift,

Please stop bitching to my boss about how we on the swing shift don't do our rounds and how nothing ever gets done. Not only do I do all of what is expected of me, but I can prove it to you. I lost three pounds my first week from all the walking and stair climbing that I am doing without going to the gym. My ass deflation= proof that I am doing my rounds.

You, on the other hand, we know you don't do all your work. My coworker has seen a zipperprint on your face, most likely from sleeping on your shift. Yet you complain to my boss that you don't have time to do all your work. All you have to do is check our work. How hard is that ??? Perhaps if you would stop sleeping and masturbating on the job, you would have time to do your job like the rest of us.


Your Coworker

Dear Guy Who Works In Shipping,

Everytime I walk in the shipping area to drop off a package, I feel like I am walking into a big, sweaty armpit. There are about 4 guys in shipping, but we all know that you are the offender. Yeah, I've mentioned that the place smelled like armpit and you glared at me. And no, I am not sorry. Someone needs to break it to you somehow. You wouldn't know the difference if a huge box of Old Spice fell on your head and squished you.

I know you are from a different culture, and that's cool. But please keep in mind that once you infringe on our basic right to breathe clean air, you are no longer allowed to smell like rotted, fermented asshole. It's currently not an amendment, but it really should be. I am tolerant to different beliefs, but I am not so openminded with foul smells. Now please be a good man and put on some Old Spice. Or why don't you just start with taking a bath ?

Thank you !



Okay, I am feeling sick as a dog, and under the influence of cherry Nyquil. I wish you all a good night my little mourning doves.

Un Beso !

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Hey Ladies, Don't Fall For This Scam........

Hello there my little French Hens..........

Jimmy from Jimmy's Journal ( made me a little present. It's of a bellydancing cat with a furry little mouse candleholder. I love it ! There is nothing Kitty can't do. Meow !

He also was kind enough to send out a warning to the ladies on one of his entries last week. Because it's National Breast Cancer month, and because I have a pair of tatas myself, I feel obligated to pass this along to other boobie owners because us women need to stick together ! So if you see this man on the street, please keep in mind that some things are better off left to professionals.

Jimmy made a good point on his blog. That this man is optimistic in his expectations. How many women actually have boobs that big ? But I gotta hand it to this man. He believes in the Law of Attraction. Kinda like Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams. "If you build it, they will come...." That or at the very least stick their big boobs in your face. How can you expect to get what you want if you don't ask the universe for it ?

I bet my friend Porkstar is busy taking notes on how to build this contraption. He is such a pervert. For you ladies out there in New York, if you see a man with chubby cheeks, a silly grin with his head in a box like this, he is a dirty dirty man with filthy intentions. If he's not out on the sidewalks right now, he is busy locating silver spray paint.

** In all honesty though, if I walked on the street and saw this man, I would tip him in cash for making me laugh so hard. I just find this to be hilarious. I can't be mad or offended.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Changing The World One Tucks Pads Box At A Time

Hello My Little Secret Squirrels...................

So today I did a little shopping. I bought my prescription drugs as well as things I'll be needed like Efferdent for my night guard. Did I mention that I had to explain loudly to the man at Target what Efferdent was ? His English wasn't that good, but I finally found it. People were looking at me, but I didn't care.

Anyho, as I was waiting for my prescription to be filled, I saw this old man looking for Tucks pads. Except that he was almost blind and he needed help. Poor man, he asked these teenaged girls (the only girls in the aisle) to help him, but they weren't much of a help. He just needed help reading, but these little teenybopper bitches just kinda stared at him and I heard giggling. They didn't know how to respond, really. Another reason I am scared to breed, but I digress........

So I walked over and asked him what he was looking for so those teenyboppers could make their escape. I pointed out the items, and he said that his wife demands Tucks pads. Well, they were out and I offered Preparation H which I think is better anyway, and he said NO ! The wife wants Tucks ! And he wanted to know why he couldn't get Tucks pads and how did I know they weren't there. I explained as nicely as possible that because I can read, I can see that they are clearly out. But look ! Target has a brand which is cheaper, and carries just as much medicine in those pads as Tucks ! It even said on the box "Compare to Tucks" ! Voila !

Luckily that was good enough for him. He got what he needed, and I no longer had to stand around and have a loud conversation about hemorrhoid products. Besides, I needed to by denture cleaners !

His wife must not be better off, if she is sending her nearly blind husband to the store to make purchases.

I felt for that man. When I am in my eighties and my body has gone to shit, and I can barely see, I hope that a nice young man will help me locate my Depends.

It's not my fault I have chipmunk cheeks, it's my condition !!!!

My Little birthday cakes !

For the past couple of years, I've been noticing that my cheeks are getting a little bigger. I've had chubby cheeks as a child. My mom and grandmothers loved pinching them.(Still do) But in the past couple of years, they've become more pronounced. I just thought that I was getting chunkier and I have to deal with it( I was fatter a couple of years ago). Or maybe I am developing jowels. Who knows !

I've been experiencing a lot of pain, clicking and cracking in my jaws for the past couple of years. It finally got so bad earlier this year that I could no longer deny it. Everything I do is a problem. Eating a meal, talking, yawning........ Making out would be so awkward with all the cracking and popping. You could hear the popping in the other room.

My dentist completely misdiagnosed me and told me that I need braces. She basically told me all my problems would be solved with braces. My cousin who has his own practice told me to forget about that and see a specialist. He also made me a splint I wear at night. I can't thank him enough.

Basically it feels like I am a prisoner in my own mouth. It's painful, and in addition to the stiffness in my shoulders and neck, I also get headaches and pain in my jaws and near my ears.

I finally saw a specialist earlier this week and found out that I have TMJ disc displacement with degenerative joint disorder. At that point, I was just happy that I know the name to all this madness. I wasn't shocked, and I am not sad. I've had this for a while, I can finally know what this is and try to correct it.

Who knows where this came from. In the long list of diseases/conditions in my family, this is one I haven't heard of. But I do know this is one of the ways my body deals with stress. I don't take my stress out on others, and I am not a confrontational person. I tend to keep it inside.

When I get stressed, I clench my teeth, especially in my sleep. Plus I carry a lot of stress in my upper body. I clench (not grind) my teeth so hard I have scars inside my mouth, and I cracked the back of my splint I wear in my mouth at night.

Next on my list of things to do is get physical therapy and work out. I was prescribed running and yoga, each twice a week. Yoga to relieve tension and running to get my heart rate up. In addition to that I need to take a painkiller and muscle relaxant every day.

I also need to go to the store to buy Efferdent (denture cleaners) to clean my splint. I can't wait to stand in line with that.

My specialist was wonderful. She didn't make me take an expensive xray. She could just tell what was wrong by looking at me and feeling my jaw. I was also happy that she didn't just prescribe pills, but exercise as well. Imagine how much healthier we would all be if we just exercise and eat healthier.

She also told me to get on a sleep schedule because I have bad sleep habits. Many of us work so hard and take on too much that we don't get enough sleep. I have repeatedly learned that cutting back on caffeine and sleeping better will work wonders.

People can laugh and scoff at that (I did when I was told the same thing by my cardiologist a few years back). However, you only get one body in this lifetime. You can only push it so far until it breaks down.

I intend to live a very long life, God willing. My great-grandmother lived until she was 102. My grandpa died when he was 92. My grandmother is 89. If I have a chance to live a long live, I don't want to be plagued with problems that could've been easily prevented. I'd rather spend it walking and able to enjoy life than being confined in my home or in a chair.

I've heard a lot of people say that they don't mind passing away at an earlier age, that they don't mind going earlier. But it usually doesn't work that way. You usually suffer a lot from a condition before you pass away. You usually spend those last years in pain.

I just don't want to suffer something later that could've been prevented while I was young. I don't want to have to rely on someone caring for me later.

I do have to say though, that compared to what other family members suffer through, I have it good. I am lucky that this is something I can work on and doesn't affect my ability to work and earn a living. I will start crying when I no longer can earn a living or bellydance. Most of us won't live without something plaguing us. I've lived a healthy childhood and my early twenties with no problems. I've been blessed so far. I am 28 and things are slowly starting sneak up on me.

Well, that is all my little furballs.

Take good care of yourselves and count your blessings. There is always someone around the corner gladly willing to trade spaces with you, no matter how bad you think you have it.

Silly Saturday

Hello there my helpless little kittens,

So this was one of the little clips filmed in the parking lot at work. This is what happens when you put a camera in front of me. Sometimes I just don't know how to be normal.................. Blame it on being a Sagittarius.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Open Man Letters.................


Dear MALE coworker,

Yes, I was cranky this afternoon at work. Mainly because I saw some beautiful, chewy,chunky chocolate-chip cookies in the cafe that I just wanted to sink my teeth into. But as I got closer to the table, a couple of guys just kinda jumped in front of me and snaked them before I even got a chance. You can imagine what that could do to a girl.

So why did you have to bring my menstrual cycle into it ? (Why do guys like to joke about women and their periods ? It's not witty, it's annoying)

Since you inquired, I decided to completely fill you in. You wanted to know ? No, I am currently not menstruating but thank you for asking. Since you were so concerned, I decided to also tell you about all the cramping and bloating I experience and how heavy/light my flows are depending on the days. I even told you about the feminine products that I use, just because you showed concern and there should be no secrets between us.

You seemed to be grossed out. I am sorry, did I make you uncomfortable ? Well, then next time don't ask, and I won't tell. It's not like I volunteer this information.


Your Coworker

Dear Mr. Good Looking Older Man,

We met at the golf tournament fundraiser. Clearly you were flirting with me. I mentioned that I enjoyed a hookah over the weekend and you said I was being so naughty ! ( Not the most original, but good enough) Since you didn't look older than my father (or old enough to be him), and since all of us that volunteer are passionate about community service, the law and education, I figured that I liked you.


You mentioned that you've been volunteering probably longer than I've been alive in a tone a father would use. I know that you were exaggerating, but it was just too much for me.

I may appreciate an occasional age difference but I do NOT need a daddy to speak to me in a creepy "hey there little girl you need a spanking" sort of way.

No spank you.

Take care, bye bye now,


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Go ahead, judge me by the covers of my books......

Hello there my little furry foxes,

So........ Random Esquire ( and Scarlet have both said on their blogs that they could tell a lot about a person based on the books on their shelves.

Mr. Random decided to post up pictures of his book collection. I've never met the dude, and he refuses to post pictures of himself. He could look like Shrek or the Grinch for all I know. But based on his book collection alone, I found him to be very intellectually stimulating. Meow !

I promised him that if he showed all of the books on his shelves, that I would do the same in return. Over half of my books are still in storage due to lack of space at my current place, so I ventured out to storage and made sure you get to see all the books in my possession.

So feel free to go ahead and judge me, and tell me what you think of me as a person, based on the books I own. You can click on the pictures to make them larger to read the titles.

While you are browsing my bookshelves, please keep the following things in mind.....

1.) The stack of magazines are my bellydance magazines that I subscribe to.

2.) The first two pictures displayed are the books that I have on my shelves at home. The rest are in storage with my other things until I find my own place so I can display them all along with my prized dishes and other things I inherited from my grandparents. I miss having all my books in front of me.

3.) My most prized books are those that I acquired while living abroad. Especially my foreign language books. I started learning German when I was ten and those books bring back memories of living with my family and talking to my grandmother in German as she refused to speak English. I simply can't part with those. I have so many Spanish books because it was my minor in college, I lived in Spain for a year, and let's not kid ourselves, I love los hombres latinos.

4.) Up until last year when I moved, I had a lot more books and ended up giving away three full grocery bags full of books. I felt that those books that I owned no longer defined who I was, or that I simply wasn't going to ever read them again. That, and I wanted to get rid of clutter and have more space. Some were text books from college (face it, I really wasn't ever going to look at my finance text book or my outdated marketing texts again). Others were dating books with gawdawful advice (one of the books kinda promoted treating men like crap), or books that related to my childhood issues that I no longer feel are relevant.

5.) The book titled "I will plant you a lilac tree" written by Laura Hillman (A Schindler Jew), is a woman my grandfather courted until he passed away at the age of 92 three years ago. She finally wrote a book, and speaks at schools to share her stories with others.

The books I have now are books that I love and would read.

So, I am inviting you to browse through my books and then tell me what you think of me, good or bad. But please don't make me cry. This should be interesting............... Have fun !

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Hello My Little Kittens,

So Halloween is coming up. I have a nice black cat costume that I've worn for a couple of years with cat ears, black gloves, a mask, a corset and a tail.

Here you go.........

But this year I would like to be something different, and I just hope that I'll be invited to a Halloween party. It's been a while, especially since I've worked at night for the past couple of years for Halloween.

I went by the Halloween store to look at costumes the other day. It's all expensive. Not only that, but most of the costumes are outright slutty. Not that it's bad, but it's just that it's so cliche because most girls are trying way too hard to be extra slutty that day. Slutty French maid, slutty bellydancer, slutty dragon, whorish cop, naughty nurse.....

Lindsey Lohan's character in Mean Girls said it best: "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." Oh so true..........

So you have all these young ladies (and maybe young ladies' moms) trying to dress like total sluts. And when that happens, creativity and originality tends to go out the window. Just an endless sea of wannabe slutty looking wannabees.

This year I would love to be Kate Gosselin. It would require a blonde wig that I would mangle and hack ( maybe with my kitty claws) into her hairdo, a jean mini skirt and form fitting t-shirt with a jacket.

That, and I would muster up a husband-hating, ball busting attitude. I will alter my normally polite, sweet demeanor and start complaining, start trying to get things for free, and just giving men a hard time and criticizing everything they do. If a guy holds the door open for me, I will demand to know why he didn't offer to hold my bag. If he's bold enough to pay me a compliment, I will pay him back by criticizing his hair or his gut.

And when he gets tired of that, he can run on over to the girls in the slutty costumes for some consoling.

So, what about you my little furry felines ? What would you like to be for Halloween?

Please do share........

Feeling Under The Weather............

Hello Loves,

I am starting to feel sick :( You know how the weather starts to change, and then your bones start aching, and you feel more tired, and then you start to get a sore throat and then the rest soon follows...............

That's how I feel. I slept in this morning and now I need to get ready for work in another hour. I can't call off and I don't get paid unless I work.

Yesterday I volunteered for a golf benefit to raise money for the community center I used to volunteer for. I don't care for golf, but I had a lot of fun seeing the people I used to volunteer with.

It was also interesting to run into attorneys from firms that I have interviewed with (and didn't get hired at), and I ran into one of the heads of our legal department where I work now. The interesting thing was he recognized me first, even though I don't remember meeting him and I work in an entirely different department. I thought that was neat.

We're in a recession and so many people are struggling. It was nice to see a group of people that were doing well despite this economy. It made me feel a little more hopeful.

And I got free food, so I didn't have to buy lunch yesterday or today.

That's all for now my little Lindt truffles. Sorry for a lack of wittiness today, but I am just beat right now.

I will go take some vitamins and hope it comes back later.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Random Ramblings.........

Hello Little Loves,

So today I went over to a friend's house and smoked a hookah. He brought it over from Iran and taught me how to set it up. We smoked the apple/peach combination. It was pretty strong, and I felt a little light headed after but in a lightheaded good way. I tried to blow smoke in the shape of donuts, but I was unsuccessful. We had fun and took pictures of each other. I am not willing to share those, because the angle it was shot makes my face look fat. However, I will include a picture taken of me last year at a hookah bar.

There you go.........

Yesterday was my friend Henry's birthday. I really miss New York. We had a lot of fun, and I'm glad that I finally met my other friend Porkstar as well. I miss both of them a lot.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Besitos !

Friday, October 9, 2009

Meow !!!!!

Hello There My Little Furballs,

This little nugget of me was shot in the parking lot at work today by a coworker. He is a camerawhore with a sense of humor like mine, so we had some fun.

Did you know that I also am able to imitate a cat hacking up a hairball ? Yes my loves, I am that resourceful.

Mommy and daddy would be so proud !

Love, hugs and kisses,


P.S: Unfortunately I can't copy the code here anymore, so to see the clip you would have to copy and paste it in the address box.

Here is the link to copy and paste:

Sorry it's not so convenient, but it's the best I can do for now.

What I Think and What I Thank........

Hello My Fierce Felines !

What I am thankful for..............

1.) I am thankful that my parents raised me against soda, and fast food. I was taught that soda was like liquid Satan and we never had soda in the house growing up. Looking back, they did me a favor.

2.) I am thankful that my mother never tried to be my BFF while growing up. I am glad that my mom isn't by my side trying to pick up men with me, and that she doesn't wear pants that say "Juicy Booty". I watch these reality TV shows where these young girls have mothers that pick up men young enough to be their sons and I am just so glad that my mom isn't like that. In fact, I recently had to explain to her what a cougar is. Her response was "Well, I could never !" Bless her heart !

3.) I am thankful that I finally got to experience New York City. I never thought that I would actually follow through and do it.

Now on to some of what I think...................

1.) Clear Blue, the maker of pregnancy tests has a commercial out on TV. Basically, the male narrator tells us WOMEN that 25% of us misread our pregnancy tests. How grand ! Someone with testicles is telling those with ovaries what female product to use. Why doesn't he just tell me to stop using tampons and use pads with wings instead????? I don't know why the company thought it made sense to use a male narrator to inspire women to buy a Clear Blue pregnancy test. I mean, if you're gonna do that, at least have a hot naked manly man posing with it or something. But no, instead what they do is have a man talking to us in some bullshit educational tone about how we misread our pregnancy tests. I wish I could tell him to shut up and go look up statistics on jock itch instead.

2.) Macy's is having a Columbus Day Sale. Who the hell cares about Columbus Day anymore ? Especially since Columbus day has become one of those politically incorrect holidays because there is a debate of whether Christopher Columbus killed Native Americans. So why is Macy's choosing this day to advertise a sale ?
And since when does Macy's care ? Why don't they just say that they are having another sale like they normally do ?

3.) I love watching Real Houswives of Atlanta aka the real housewhores....... Kim Zolciak on that show has basically become famous for dating a married man, and having her own single, without even really being able to carry a tune, thanks to autotune. Seriously, what a waste. There are so many talented people in this world that will probably never be on TV, that the public will never know about.

That just shows you that life is not fair. It's not all about talent anymore. Apparently according to Bravo TV which airs the show, being famous is all about who you know and who you blow.

So that is all for now my little furballs. Besitos ! Muah !


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Cake Whore

Hello There My Little French Hens,

As you probably already know, I love cakes and cupcakes. Me likey.............

I guess you could say that I am a cake whore. I know that's what I would say. I am an equal opportunity cake lover, except for cheesecake. Me no likey the cheesecake. Which is a good thing, I don't need another ass.

My favorite type of cake is not the expensive cake you would find at an upscale dessert shop (even though I would happily gobble it up). My favorite cake is the birthday cake you would find at your local grocery store. The moist cake that you could probably whip up from a Duncan Hines box topped off with the thick, sugary frosting with dye.

So anyway, a couple of days ago I was doing my rounds in the building and making sure the doors were properly locked. I get into the conference room and saw some leftover chocolate birthday cake topped with colorful frosting balloons. I looked around, took the cake and walked out as fast as possible with it, hid it in another fridge and took it home. I felt like a little secret squirrel storing up for winter. I've been eating small pieces each day to make it last longer.

So I figure that I got lucky once and found some left over cake. It's rare I make a find like that so I just took the cake and enjoyed my luck.

Well, imagine how I must of felt today. I was doing my rounds again and found another nice-sized piece of chocolate birthday cake. I thought that I died and went to heaven. Once is nice, but two times is divine ! Jesus does love me !

I sat there and proceeded to devour half of that piece (even though I had a piece of my left over find earlier that morning). My coworker just sat there and commented on how much I love cake. At least that's what I thought he said. I was too busy focusing on my chocolate goodness to really pay attention.

I wish I would make such finds in cash form, but let's not get greedy now. Chocolate cake is just fine.

P.S: My birthday is November 30th............

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My 5 Things and My 5 Words..........

Hello There My Little Sassy Snozzleberries,

I want to play a little game of Scarlet Says. Basically, last week Scarlet gave me 5 words (one of them in Spanish) and I say whatever comes to mind.

But before that, I am gonna tell you 5 random things about me or what I did over the weekend. Anywho, here goes..............

1.) I never liked Miley Cyrus and always thought she was overrated. However, I really love her new song "Party In the USA". I know, she is such a little teenybopper and I am not part of that demographic, but I love her new song. Lord help me.

2.) I had the best steak ever over the weekend. I went to my friend's house and her husband was grilling steaks. It was so juicy and fatty, and it was the best steak ever. It was windy outside and there was no silverware, so while my friend went upstairs to get me a fork, I ate the steak with my bare hands and did not care.

3.) While I was at her house, I watched a Russian film without subtitles. I don't speak Russian, but my friend and her husband did, so they were gracious enough to translate for me. And I ended up enjoying the film. Forget about asking me the name of the film, because I don't know Russian and I can't read the Cyrillic alphabet.

4.)I really, really want to go to Amsterdam.

5.)Today I learned how to say "How are you doing, motherfu*ker ?" in Farsi and actually repeated it to my Persian car mechanic. He was touched.

Anywhore, onto Scarlet's five words..............

1.) THERAPY......... I have actually had therapy, and am not ashamed to admit it. Very helpful, and a good therapist is hard to find in my opinion. But the one I had a couple of years back was one of the best things that happened to me.

2.) PROTECTION......... Ummmm, condom ?? Get tested ? Don't have sex at all ? Stick to loving yourself ? Or how about guns, mace or knives ? I don't know what else to say for this word.

3.) DREAM....... I dream of living a long, happy, peaceful life.

4.) DANCE........ Bellydance, what else ? I have tried other forms of dance like hip hop or Latin dance which is fun by the way. But no matter what, my heart is with bellydance and all the money I spend and all the time I put in it, is for the love of the dance. Bellydance is also a form of therapy for me. P.S: All the womanly curves I have, I owe to bellydance......

5.) And last but not least the Spanish word is...... PASION (with an accent over the letter O).............. It means passion for those who don't know Spanish. All I have to say for that is Barcelona, Spain. I lived life with passion over there. I had some memorable dates over there too, like the time I went salsa and merengue dancing at the clubs. Or making out on the beach at 3am, or going for motorcycle rides in the city, or on the mountain. Fun times. Life was so faced paced over there, and it was hard to keep in touch with people, as everyone seemed to be in transit. But I am so glad I ventured out of my comfort zone and traveled abroad by myself.

Well my little loves, that is all for now. I am sorry I am a little behind with some of your blog entries. But I will make my rounds soon.

Besitos !



Sunday, October 4, 2009

Give Me Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Hungry.........

Hello There My Little Turtle Doves,

So I've saved the highlight of my trip for last....... Ellis Island.

I have a lot to say about Ellis Island and found the trip to be emotional. As you may or may not know, it was an immigration station between 1892 until around 1924 for about 12 million immigrants, mainly from Europe.

Although, the immigration didn't necessarily stop at that island in 1924. My grandpa dated a holocaust survivor who came through there after WWII. It was also used as a detention center.

Anyway, I really wanted to go and experience the view my great-grandparents had when they first arrived on US soil. Henry and I took the ferry to Ellis Island and passed the Statue of Liberty on the way. It was beautiful and I almost got teary-eyed. Henry caught that on tape.

When we arrived to the museum, I went straight to the computers to check the records for my great-grandparents. I knew it was going to be difficult, and I didn't expect much, but I thought I would try anyway. My last name is really uncommon, and it was really hard to even find similar names to that of my family. You had my great grandpa's last name and then that of my great-grandma. I was unlucky with both. I did talk to my paternal grandma who told me that they moved from Russia and lived in London. Due to the lack of work in London, they immigrated to the US and lived in New York for a few years until they settled in Long Beach. I didn't realize that they moved around a lot.

Anyway, while I was there at the computer station, one of the women who worked there helped me do a search. Even though we were unsuccessful, she told me not to give up. (She was so nice) First of all, their names were spelled differently all the time, so it is very easy for it to be misspelled over and over and over. My aunt has my great-grandpa's naturalization certificate, and she was kinda struggling to make out the letters on that. Basically, their names are spelled differently on many different documents.

I would like to point out that I didn't expect to feel sad about not finding my great-grandparent's records. Especially since my dad told me before it was very difficult, and I couldn't find anything online. I so badly wanted to see it for myself while I was on the island and felt heart-broken that it didn't happen. Luckily the lady helping me was very knowledgeable and gave me a little bit of history behind not only the record keepers, but of the Russian-Jewish immigrants as well.

Henry was also there with me, and very patient. He saw that I was upset and tried all he could to help. After I was done and felt a little discouraged, he bought me some fried food so I could eat my feelings. Bless his heart. We talked over fried shrimp and onion rings.

My aunt was kind enough to give me names of distant cousins and mail me a copy of the family tree so I can keep trying. I'm just gonna have to keep trying. In fact, I just picked up the family tree in the mail today. In addition to that, I went back to my storage unit and found letters my great-grandma Pauline wrote to the White House (while Roosevelt was in office) and magazines to submit poetry. I tried to use the various spellings on those letters to locate immigration or naturalization records. I couldn't find anything. I even spoke to my Russian friends who wrote out my family name in the cyrillic alphabet. It is hard to find anything about them. But I did take the address on the letters to see how they lived. I used their address on Google Maps. I couldn't find a house. Instead I saw an apartment building. I'm not sure if there was a house which was torn down to make an apartment building, or if she lived in an apartment. But it was interesting to see where they settled before they died. It seems like such a small detail, but it was something to me. Here is the image I got of their last neighborhood from Google.

Looking for my family records was the first thing on Ellis I did so that I could enjoy the rest of the museum without worrying.

Basically, the layout of the island, is that there is main area with the registry which was turned into a museum. Then you have other buildings on the island such as the detention centers and hospitals which were closed to the public.

The main area we toured was nice, but it was restored and turned into a museum. I felt that with the restoratoration and all the displays, that a lot of the spirit of the place was gone and silenced. It's kinda hard to describe. I really wanted to see the hospitals and other buildings that weren't yet restored. I wanted to see the buildings that were long forgotten. I did get to see pictures of the island before any restoration and those pictures spoke volumes. The photographers who captured that said that it was very emotional and although the place was abandoned, they could still feel the spirits of people that came through. An empty hospital bed or chair in the middle of the room said thousands of words in their photos.

While I was there, I imagined what the people who passed through went through. All these different cultures coming to the US and bringing their cultures with them. How long did it take for all those cultures to get lost ? How many wanted to forget ? I really wondered what the trip was like for my great-grandparents. Were they happy to arrive ? Hopeful ? Sad ?

What I do know of my great-grandparents is that they stayed in New York for a while and moved on to Long Beach, CA. One thing I didn't understand was why my grandfather didn't embrace his background. However, after talking to my grandma, I was told that my grandpa didn't practice Judaism because his parents didn't trust Rabbis and felt they were up to no good. Basically he was brought up to be distrusting of his religion. He didn't really talk about his family unless we pulled it out of him. Even then, it wasn't that much. He did not practice his religion and embraced being an Atheist, only to use his religious background for his art. He liked to make torah pointers. He didn't practice Judiasm, but made cultural Jewish art and socialized in Jewish circles.

Being in New York was a new experience for me. I could feel the spirits of the immigrants that came here to this country through the older buildings. You could see Europe in the design of the buildings. Henry's apartment was a classic Spanish apartment with the tall doorways and cramped quarters. I just felt a stronger connection to New York than I really do here.

Immigration is still alive and strong, just like it was then, but each group has their own time. It made me think a lot about what people go through to get here, especially since many of my coworkers have their own stories.

Anyway, I have some pictures...................................

View of the Brooklyn Bridge before walking on over to the ferry.

These are pictures of a statue dedicated to the immigrants that came to our country.

Me in front of the Statue of Liberty on the ferry to Ellis Island. The same view my great-grandparents had over a hundred years ago.

In front of Ellis Island.

The kissing post. This was the post where immigrants were reunited with family members that preceded them.

These were the stairs of separation. Some went to get detained, others had more inspections, and the rest were free to continue on with their destination in the United States. From what I hear, my great-grandparents stayed in New York for a while until they moved to Long Beach where they lived until they passed away.

The Registry Hall. It looks empty here, but during its peak years, it was packed with many different inspection lines.

Graffiti. There was a bunch of scribbled drawings and writings in the building. People during that time did a lot of waiting, and had a lot of time to kill. What would you scribble on those walls ?

I just wanted to be part of a family..............

I can balance my belongings on my head too !

More pictures of The Registry Hall.

This picture is worth a million words to me and I just could not take my eyes off of it. This woman looks like she could be a family member of mine from both sides of my family with the way her hair was done, her dress and her body type. She is faceless, like the millions of immigrants that came here, and she looks tired and worn down. My great grandparents escaped persecution and did whatever they could to support their five children. My great grandpa was a tailor, and my great-grandma helped run a grocery store.

On the ferry going back to Manhattan so I can meet Porkstar and take obscene pictures with the Wallstreet bull.

Bye bye Lady Liberty !