Sunday, October 25, 2009

From An Older Woman To A Younger Woman

Hello My Little Fuzzy Apricots....................

I love reading the Best of Craigslist. Basically taking the best posts of all sections (dating, for sale, rants and raves, etc....) and posting them in the hall of fame section. Sometimes it's full of potty humor or sexual humor. Once in a blue moon, people nominate a truly touching post. Like the one I'm posting today.

In this post, a woman posting from Los Angeles wrote young women and offered her advice. I copied it below for you to read.

As I've mentioned before in other blog posts, I come from a family of strong women on both sides, with special emphasis on my grandmothers from both sides. My Austrian grandma, Olga, made sure I learned German, she taught me how important falling in love is, how to be kind to others and help those less fortunate. My Grandma Ruth has shown me by example how to be kind to others, how to be financially independent, and how to be in a loving relationship.

It's not like they sat me down and talked to me about these things, except about being in love. They just lived their lives and showed me how to act by example. And during the whole time they spoiled me and showed me a lot of affection. They both made it through war, they both lost their husbands and successfully found love with good men after, and they both were housewives when they needed to be and held jobs during a time women were told to just stay home. My Grandma Ruth joined NOW and met Betty Friedan in its early stages, but said she left after it was taken over by women who were manhaters and didn't promote equality in a respectful manner..

Anyway, below is what my grandmothers would say to me, even though they never really had to. They acted like the example. The only thing I should mention is that the woman who wrote this was probably a lesbian and gives a couple of pointers to lesbians, which is the only thing I can't relate to since I am straight and don't know what it's like to be gay nowadays.

Anyway, here is what she had to say. I especially think it applies to us young women today, since I think we could use more role models:

1. You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, don't take the pussy route and blame the world for your misfortune. If you were sexually assaulted, verbally abused, etc and lived to tell about it; take your pain and help those who need it. Writing emo poetry isn't going to solve anything.

2. Invest in your education first, your looks second. Anyone can pay a plastic surgeon to look hot, but not everyone can read a book and do simple math.

3. No matter what you call it, having a 'man to take you shopping' is glorified prostitution. He wants you for your body, you want him for his wallet. Cut the crap and call it what it is.

4. Do not seek confidence in other people. Magazines, celebrities and most pop influences are there to make you feel like you're nothing. Don't buy into it. Those celebrities need your money to look fabulous. Invest in yourself, not hype.

5. Stop fueling gossip mongers [Perez Hilton, TMZ.]. They have nothing to talk about and if you follow them for long, neither will you.

6. Be modest; why have all your goods unwrapped and leave nothing for the imagination?

7. Know the difference between fucking and love. There is a major difference and if you don't know it, pick up a book or ask someone who does.

8. Do not have children just because you're lonely or insecure. Your child will end up hating you for it and you won't get the emotional blanket you hoped you'd get.

9. Get a job. Seriously. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you are excused from work. Find a trade, get a job. If you are a house wife, be a good one. If you are a career woman, put your heart into what you do.

10. A respectable companion is rarely at a 'bar' or da club'. These places are meat markets and will only set you up for a douchebag or a wimp. If you go, refer to rule 7.

11. Learn to cook. Cooking is a dying skill that needs not be. You'd be surprise how much weight you lose and how you can get a decent companion if you know more than picking up a phone and calling for dinner.

12. Get off your phone. If it's not your best friend, your job or your family, your cackling is not important and the rest of the world does not want to hear it. Listen more. Talk less.

13. Stop putting so much of your money into things [purses, shoes, make up] and start putting it into a savings account, a 401k or an IRA. Those shoes are not going to vest when you turn 65.

14. Stop using men to get you stuff. Have some self respect and buy your own drinks, meals and entertainment. A date will respect you more if you show them you are not helpless.

15. Perfume and baby powder does not make up for good hygiene. Shower, do your laundry, clean your place. Body odor is not excusable for either genders.

16. If you are a Lesbian, respect yourself and stop trying to find acceptance in the world. 9/10 they will not accept you. Tell them 'fuck you' and be your own woman.

17. If you are a Lesbian, you are not anymore special or important than anyone else. You love other women and you have that right, but do not flex your preference thinking it makes you unique. Your mind and experiences make you unique, either gay or straight.

18. Buy clothes that fit. Be tasteful with your clothing be you big or small.

19. Don't eat for comfort, vomit to make yourself beautiful, and starve yourself to feel loved. Exercise, be sensible with your food choices, don't deprive yourself but never eat too much. The quickest way to a size 30, and to the grave, is past your teeth.

20. If they say the love you, ask them to earn your heart through good deeds, genuine kindness and respect.

21. Romance is not dead; but if you're not willing to give it, don't expect it in return.

22. Stop being a bitch to other women and other people. If you are not happy, go get therapy. No one deserves to be berated because you don't have the guts to berate yourself.

23. Do something new every day. Pole dance to learn about your sensuality, paint to express your creativity, write a blog to express your soul. Evolve and never stop learning.

24. Look in the mirror everyday and smile at what you see.

25. Stay safe. Learn to defend yourself against one or multiple attackers. Jackals do not attack if they see a big stick. If all else fails, run. There is no shame in running if it keeps you safe.26. Love yourself. Always. When you love yourself to the fullest, the world will open with opportunities.

Here is the link


Loving Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loving Annie said...

That was truly outstanding advice ! Thank you for passing the message on :)

MindyMom said...

Wow, so there are real gems on Craigslist!

Great advice. Thanks for sharing.

mac said...

Good advice. I didn't know women knew rule number 7. I offered that gem to my younger sister when she came of age. As an additive I also stated "You don't have to marry everyone you screw to be a good person".

Scarlet said...

This is the kind of advice I'd give my daughter...even now because 13 is not too early to know the truth. There's a lot of wisdom (and strength to be gained) in this list.

Paul Nichols said...

Good——and interesting——article. Thanks for posting it.

Deine Mutter said...

You are so right, Oma would say the same (except for the lesbian stuff, she would never - gasp - even think about such things.
I was raised pretty much along these advice lines.
You got a roof over your head, you got warm clothes, you got food on the table, you better be grateful!
There was never something like "how do you feel about yourself," there was only "what do we need to get done today"....
For the record, I have no complaints whatsoever.....