Saturday, October 23, 2010

I can finally post it !

Hi My Little Turtle Doves !

I am posting my dance vid through facebook. My profile is private, but this video is public. But only for a while. I will make it private in a week or two.

My stage name is Amira, it's not my real name.
Enjoy !

Friday, October 22, 2010

I Was Happier Without It

Hello My Little Kittens !

How was your week ?

As you know I got a Facebook. I broke down because my friend in Amsterdam convinced me to get one, he was the one that pushed me over the edge so to speak. Also, my Mama Cita has been asking me for a while now.

I found a lot of people that I haven't seen for a while. But the best thing that happened to me was that I found a distant cousin from Russia who my Aunt told me about. Nice guy and he has a lot of memories with my grandfather that I want to hear about.

I also found my other half (girl I used to work with at Red Lobster with my name) and we can catch up now. She up and moved to Vegas 8 years ago and has done well for herself.

What else....................... I have gotten to see you, my readers and learn your names. It is always nice to put names to the faces and personalities. When you blog, it's just you, but it's nice to learn about your families and what your day-to-day life is like. And write dirty messages on your walls.

Did I tell you I reconnected with a few dancers I used to dance with ? Us bellydancers, you know who we are, we love to post our photos of us in motion.

While Facebook has helped me connect, I am still not completely comfortable with it. For starters, it is addicting. I have this blog, and adding Facebook to the mix is exhausting especially when I work fulltime and have a parttime job. I would rather blog. Here, we take the time to write longer entries instead of posts, we put more energy into this and into getting to know other bloggers. Not so much on Facebook.

The internet really makes you disposable. I write people that have asked me to join Facebook or have asked me to friend them and they don't write back. I talked to an old classmate in the same field and professional circles as me and wrote him detailed messages on who he can contact to apply for legal positions since he is looking for a job and he just decided not to write back.
And I know the people above have been on Facebook because they continue to post on their walls. Otherwise I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

Before Facebook, I just communicated with friends over the phone or by e-mail and it was fabulous. My summer social calendar was full. I went dancing, worked out, went to peoples' houses and all without Facebook. I traveled to Europe and met wonderful people that don't even have a profile on FB.The people that really mattered were in my life because we made efforts to stay in contact and it was a joint effort. And if that means I only interact with a handful of people vs hundreds of "friends" then I am okay with that.

I think I am giving myself another week or two, a month tops. Besides, most of my family up there don't even check their profiles that often. They are busy traveling, caring for newborns, or taking care of family. I am going to get the proper contact info of people I've reconnected with and bolt.

This blog is a better idea. People that really care visit this blog. I've given this address out a LOT, 90% of those people never make it over here. And I would prefer that to being ignored on Facebook.

Sorry my little furballs, just had to vent. I will dish out the snark and sarcasm another time.

Besitos !

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Nifty Fifty Minus a Few

So What's Up My Little Cookies ?

So as you know I joined Facebook a couple of days ago. I find that I can't say what I really feel like because people like my Grandma and my really Christian aunt might see it.

Anywhooters, it's survey time, bitches !! There were supposed to be 50 questions, but I deleted a good chunk out because well, I thought they were lame.

Here goes.....

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Wow, my waist looks a little smaller.

2. How much cash do you have on you?

I'm overdrawn at the moment, so I actually have a negative amount. I have I-O-Fucking U written all over me.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?

WHORE ! Did you really think I was going to pass that up?

4. Favorite planet?


6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

I feel you by Depeche Mode

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Shirt I wore to work.

8. Do you label yourself?

No, but if I had one, it would say "Made in the USA"

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Shapeups by Sketchers

11. Did you do anything to celebrate John Lennon's 70th yesterday?

No, but I noticed Yoko Ono and Lady Gaga have become BFFs. What a hot trainwreck mess.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Was checking out Facebook

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?

"twatwaffle" because I am immature and it makes me laugh.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

My grandma and my dad

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Your mom's chest hair.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Xanaflex (not to be confused with Xanax) and Celebrex.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?

25 was a very adventurous year and my metabolism hadn't slown down yet.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

I've already skydived, give me a million dollars, baby !

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

Sleeping in my dorm room.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

If no one else is around, I hit and kick the machine.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?

Yes, I am actually a nice person, just as long as you don't ask me what I am really thinking.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

I don't like tattoos but if I did, it would probably be on one of my asscheeks. No tramp stamp for me.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

If I got to learn a new language it would be French.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Mai, Oui !

39. Are you touchy feely?

40. What’s your life motto?

I don't really have one, I just like to get out there and live life without making excuses as to why things can't be done.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

Keys, Cell, Chapstick

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

My dance lesson

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

No, that's what men are for ! Now shut up, get under the hood of my car and change that oil ! And don't talk back ! ::Raises Hand::

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

I recently traced back my great-great grandparents on my dad's side in the Canadian Census.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

My wrists, my jaw, my head. Damn TMJ !!!

Okay, so I am not going to tag anyone, feel free to snake this from me and do it yourselves.

Time for me to log off and watch trash TV. I need to unwind. Today kinda sucked balls, and I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Besitos !

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Wanna be my Friend ?

Hello There My Little Profiles !

I did something I've said that I wouldn't ever do for the past 3 years, and I joined Facebook ! My friend in Amsterdam convinced me to do it, and I gave in.

I would love to be friends with you all. My e-mail address is Wallstreetsmart at aol dot com.
Besitos !



And four more for the survey whore !

What's Up My Little Buttercups ?

So, happy weekend to you all ! I have a lot of catching up to do on your bloggies, please be patient as I will get around to them. This week has been a 7 day workweek for me and I am kind of exhausted. But I do get a day off next week.

I am really trying to pay off that vacation. But in the midst of that, my car broke down, my favorite bellydance instructor came out for a workshop that I just had to take AND there was huge sale at Kohls. Oh and did I mention that my car insurance is due and they are withdrawing automatically from my checking account?


I think that I should be fine though. At least my credit card bill isn't increasing............

What else...... Yes, I got to practice dance this weekend. I totally needed it, and it was a good workout. Plus I talked to my FBFF in Paris (French BFF) and he promised to send me a birthday card soon, as I did the same for him as his birthday is sooner than mine. I also talked to my friend in Amsterdam. He is from the SF Bay so I mailed him his favorite burrito sauce. I just hope he gets it. It took a lot just to get my fat ass to the post office to mail it. The lady at the post office was definitely amused, I hope it doesn't get lost.

Okay, so enough chatter, Joey did a survey, and you know me, I am a huge survery whore so here I am. I have to go to work in a few minutes and I am too lazy to tag any of you, so those of you that are survey sluts like me, bring it bitches !!!!

Here goes.......

4 Things in my handbag........
1.) Keys
2.) Cellphone
3.) Chapstick
4.) Wallet

4 Things In/On my Desk
I am assuming this is at work so here goes...........

1.) Stacks of papers to be filed
2.) Oatmeal and raisins
3.) Files
4.) Lotion

4 Favourite Things in my Bedroom:

1.) My Shoe rack with shoes
2.) Laptop
3.) Bellydance outfits and sword
4.) Picture of my grandparents
BONUS: My bed ! A girl's gotta sleep and I've been tired lately.

4 Things I've always wanted to do (But haven't yet):

1.) Travel to Egypt for the Nile Festival and take bellydance workshops with the best !
2.) Travel the world with someone special. I have done it alone, but would like to create memories with someone abroad,
3.) Write a book
4.) Have my own place, live by myself.

4 Things I Enjoy very much at the Moment:

1.) Blogging
2.) Bellydance, practicing and going to festivals
3.) Eating cake and cupcakes
4.) Spending time with my familys

4 Songs I Can't get Outta my Head

1.) Only girl in the world by Rihanna
2.) I Like It by Enrique Iglesias
3.) Hey Baby by Pitbull
4.) Loca by Shakira

4 Things you don't know about me:

I think you already know everything................. But let's try......

1.) Politcally I am in the middle, I can't find a candidate that believes in what I do on most things so voting is quite a task for me. I am very liberal in some areas, quite conservative in others. I despise political correctness, even though I am politcally correct in a professional setting.

2.) I have quite the potty mouth, but I am really all bark and no bite. I may spew a lot of innuendo, but I rarely, if ever actually act on it. I am very shy around men.

3.) I am naturally a brunette, I was blond for a few years in college, but now my hair temporarily has deep red highlights.

4.) I love being American, I love living here in California (and always get homesick when away), but I would love to live in another country. I wish I could take a job somewhere internationally, or move with a significant other to his country. I don't want to be rooted in one place for the rest of my life. I guess that is the Sag in me, we love our freedom and we love to wander !

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today was my lucky day !

What's Up My Little Furballs ?

So today it was hotter than Satan's asscrack outside. OMG ! While I was driving back to work from my lunchbreak, my car stalled at the traffic light. Now this has been happening for the past few months, and I would just start my car again. Not today.......... Today my car would not start and I was left in the middle lane. Even though I had my hazard lights on, the douchelords behind me honked at me. I rolled down my window and told them I couldn't start so they would lay off me.

I could not just move my car to the side because there was no room, and I was not going to try and cross the large intersection all by myself pushing my car. So I got out of the car with my phone in my hand and called my insurance company to come and tow the car and so people could clearly see I wasn't sitting on my thumbs.

I was hoping the first few guys behind me would stop to help me push, but they didn't. One guy told me there was a gas station ahead and to just push it there, but that was a big intersection to cross alone and I did not want to chance it. How did he think I could do that alone ? He could see I was visibly upset and scared. Whatever, I just thanked him and got back on the phone.

Luckily another guy saw me, parked his car ahead and ran up to help me. He pushed my car into a  U-turn while I steered and got me to a safer area. I was really thankful he helped me. A couple of minutes later I was able to start my car. (Oh the irony) I took it to the mechanic and got it fixed. Now I don't have to worry about stalling in traffic anymore, thank God ! That is such a relief !!

What else...............

Oh........ my coworker bought some labels from a medical supply store just for shits and giggles. The sticker reads : "For rectal use only". He found our other coworker's protein shakes and proceeded to stick them above the little metal foil opening. It was priceless. While he was doing that, I was standing outside the kitchen, making sure that no would disturb him.

And today I would have been there to witness the other dude drinking his proteinshakes with the rectal labels, but I was busy getting stalled by the intersection. But when I returned I heard that he was truly perplexed and thought that someone in the factory put it there. I thought he would've figured out it was just a joke, but he said that the stickers looked so legit that he was actually confused and brought them to my boss to have a look. Priceless !

Well my loves, that is all for now. Time to go watch trash TV and think about getting some sleep.

Besitos !

The Skinny, The Shimmy

What's Up My Little Love Muffins ?

So what else is new with you all ?

Been busy in my neck of the woods. Been working a lot lately. Trying to pay the credit card bills from my vacation.

I took a workshop over the past weekend with my bellydance idol Tito Seif which you can find a picture of us on my sidebar. It was over three hours of dancing with a cane, and I went barefoot, so my feet got blistered. But I did not care because I love Tito ! Then I took a private lesson with him for an hour on Tuesday. I've always wanted to dance next to him and I finally got to do it. I was ready to travel all the way to Egypt to take his workshop, but luckily I didn't have to since he came here.

 While he dances, he smiles and sings and his energy is contagious, and that's what it's all about, this is why I dance. He makes me fall in love with the dance. I don't know Tito outside of dance, and after his workshops, I don't think much about him, but while we dance, I feel I like I am in love, like I know what love is. His English is limited, but he was able to tell me to smile, to move my hips more and said "your hips, very good !". It wasn't about choreography, or counts. I freaking hate dancing to counts ! I like to just follow and move.

Dancing with him may have been crossed off on my bucket list, but I still would like to go to Egypt and meet other authentic Egyptian dancers. My first bellydance teacher was from Egypt as well. She may have been crazy, but she make performers out of us and introduced us to all types of bellydance. Bellydance with a sword, with candles, with a veil, with drums, with zills............... most dancers only teach you one thing. She threw it all at us.

You already know I suffer from anxiety and depression. I took meds once and didn't like it. I've tried a lot of different activities, but the only thing that has consistently helped me through it is bellydance. It helps me process my emotions, and it helps me heal because dance is a way of interpreting my feelings and I can let them out and no one has to know what I am feeling. I have danced off and on for the past 8 years and my world has always been brighter when dance was a part of it. I struggled the most when I wasn't dancing. It doesn't matter if I work out hard and sweat it out at the gym, if I am not bellydancing, I still don't feel complete.

Anyway, time for bed !

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Red Light District

So What's Up My Little Voyeurs ?

Time to talk about the Red Light District ! Le Porkstar aka Porkalicious and I paid for a Red Light District Tour and boy what that a lot of fun. We took the English tour even though we could have taken it in Spanish (because Le Porkstar is Brown). But I just decided to just stick with the English tour because I wanted to be sure to understand all of the sexual terms and didn't want to lose anything in translation, so Porky compromised and went with me and told me to translate this "Vamos a mirar tu mama trabajando"!

Our tour guide was Australian, and had quite the sense of humor. He gave us a history of Amsterdam and how the Red Light district came to be and walked us by the windows with the working girls and showed us some of the sex shops. Stores where you could buy things cheaply and in bulk. He asked us if we needed to stock up on any buttplugs or lube. Such a nice guy !

The streets are narrow and we did see a guy in his SUV scrape the side of his car. There was a crowd of us and we witnessed it all, and he definitely sped off after that. Turns out the damage wasn't that bad.

But the highlight of our tour was when we were in front of a DVD display. There is something for everyone in Amsterdam. Any fetish you may have, they cater to that and displayed the selection of DVDs behind glass. So while our guide was standing in front of the window with DVDs advertising a variety of fetishes, some old perverted bastard old man with gray stubble and a joint in his right hand just saunters over to the window and stares at the glass because not only is he horny but he was probably baked out of his fucking mind. Our guide proceeded to say hello and asked what he was into and sarcastically asked if he liked the golden showers.

This old bastard cracked us all up because he didn't pay us any attention or even look at the guide, he just put both hands on the glass, leaving the joint in his right hand and then with his free left hand while looking at the DVDs, made fingerbanging motions with his fingers. We all lost it and we all laughed our asses off.

This guy was old and looked like he just didn't give a fuck or have a care in the world. And to him I say Bravo ! Because if you don't have much time left in the world, why not go out with sex and a joint ?

Here are some pictures of Moi very close to the Red Light District...........

This is a male oriented store, most likely a very gay one at that. I came to this conclusion because I saw a couple of gay bars around, but also, look at the guy. What straight man would ever pose like that in his right mind ? Even though he would probably never bark up my tree, I wanted to tell him that it's okay, we can still be friends................

Just look at that. This was at a waffle shop called Australia. We had been walking around looking for waffles. Mine was drenched in syrup with tons of whipped cream and ice cream. And because we were walking all day, I could afford to eat all those calories. Delish !

Gotta love the blatant sexual advertising. This would never fly in the US, and it's a flipping shame. If you look closely, you can see my face beween her tongue and the ice cream and I am staring at the ice cream.

Well loves, it is time for me to bounce for the evening. I still owe you pictures from Paris. I'm saving the best for last of course !

Besitos !

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let's Fondle In The Park

Hello There My Little Picnics,

So it's picture time !

Le Porkstar and I have a favorite word in common: Fondle. It's like our code word. Don't ask, we're just pervs, and I think the word sounds funny.

So imagine how happy we were when we arrived in Vondel Park aka Fondle Park in Amsterdam. Seriously, I don't know what they were thinking when they named this park, supposedly it's named after someone. But their wierd names are our photo opportunity, right ?

People looked at us wierd, stradling the gate and each other and giggling like school children, but not a single fuck was given.......

And this isn't the last of the photos in my war chest.

Say, wouldn't you like to hear some stories of what happened in the Red Light District ?

Gots to go to the gym now.

Besitos !

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Let's Go Dutch, Shall We ?

Well Good Evening My Little Stroopwafels,

So what's up ?

I am gonna make fun of the Dutch now. I am not politically correct so if you are Dutch and I offend you (or if you feel the need to get your panties in a wad in general), feel free to just bite me okay ?

I am kidding, as a little disclaimer, let me just say that while I was in the Netherregions Netherlands, I was amazed by the hotness of the Dutch male species. They are tall, built, strong, and have nice features. I was gawking every chance that I could. Plus they tend to have deeper voices and their thick accents, me likey. OMG, need I say more ? Just goes to show that I like men manly, no metrosexual b.s. While I was in Paris, I thought that the men were handsome and impeccably dressed, and yeah I liked it, but in the Netherlands, my primal urges, biological desires or whatever the hell you want to called it kicked in.

Anyway, moving along.......enough nice talk about Holland.

Let's talk about their language okay ? Thank God the men are hot, because the language is not.

I don't speak Dutch, I speak German, and there are some similarities between the two. Neither is a beautiful language. For example, Tits in German literally translates to "breast warts" so you can get an idea of how unsexy the language is. But in my opinion, German is prettier than Dutch which says a lot.

In Holland you can bank with Rabo Bank. To me it sounds like Rob-A-Bank. With so many tourists and English practically their second language, why didn't they get a second opinion on this ?

I was also informed that in Portuguese "Rabo" translates to "ass". So hey, bend over cuz it's time to make a deposit and withdrawal okay ? I hope you have late hours, because I will be sliding my bank card often.

And my brown friend Le Porkstar told me that in certain Latin countries "rabo" translates to "cock". Oh really ? So hey, now you have a choice right ? Ass or cock....... A bank where there is something for everyone. Would it be too greedy to ask for both ?

While I was at the theater and glancing at the subtitles, I saw the word "donker" a lot. My friend couldn't find his Dutch dictionary so I was left to keep on wondering what it meant. I sounded like "ba donk a donk"  which reminded me of ass. So now I just want to tell people that piss me off to just shove it in their donker !

When I got back, I looked up the word and learned it means "dark" or "darkness" so hey, I guess I wasn't too far off, as it is a place where the sun don't shine.

I also learned a few basics in Dutch, like "hello" and "thank you very much". "Dank u wel" means thank you. But you know what ? IMHO the Dutch weren't that hospitable during my stay, so I modified that and put a personal touch on it for them.

Fuck u wel ! And I said it fast and with a smile !

I am kidding, I never uttered such a thing, I was always polite, but I did have a couple of rude encounters (the canal tour guy singled me out), but I chalk that up to their city being overrun with tourists 24/7.

And to him I said.  "You can take your attitude and shove it up your donker ! Fuck u wel ! (No I didn't)

Okay, enough for now my little caramel cookies........

Besitos !

Monday, October 4, 2010

Do You Shave Your Sex ?

Whassup my bitches ?

After yesterday's post, I bet you thought I was gonna get all deep or philosophical on you again....... NOT !

While I was in Paris I made a FBFF (French Best Friend Forever)

We were discussing the French and if they like to go bare or au natural...............

He said "You mean do we shave our sex ?" in all of his French accent glory.

It was like I offended him or something.................. "No..... zis is crazy, I would never shave my sex !"

Apparently in French you would say "to shave sex your sex organs" or something like that, but whatever my friend was saying, something was obviously lost in translation.

I take it the French are a little more natural shall I say. But my FBFF kept rambling about how he would never shave his sex and how could people shave their sex ? Why would they want to ? No, no, no, ! zis iz crazeee to shave zee sex !

The more he kept rambling about shaving the sex, the more I lost it and I could not stop laughing. While he was in shock from me talking about shaving zee sex, he was also perplexed as to why I was curled up in a ball and LMFAO on the floor. I had tears, and OMFG, I had to explain to him that sex in English is an action, and you can't shave an action.

Anywhooters, I owe you pics, and I just need to dig out my camera.

French kisses my loves !

Saturday, October 2, 2010

I Thought I Saw Her

Hello Loves,

This entry will be brief.

As you know, my Oma (grandma on my mother's side) passed away on August 31, 2006. I remembered every year until this year. That day this year, I completely forgot. I couldn't believe it. What was interesting, was that I was thinking about her, and remembering the funeral, but when August 31st came and went this year, I didn't remember that it was the day she passed away. I don't know if I should feel guilty or not. Those who know me know that I loved her very much. My mother did not raise me to speak German, but my Oma stepped in and made sure I knew my Austrian heritage, and through her and my aunt, I learned German and learned about Austrian culture. For that I am very greatful.

On the way back to San Francisco, as I was checking in my baggage at the airport in Amsterdam, I thought that I saw her. There was a woman sort of to the side where I couldn't see her face that looked exactly as how I remembered my grandma. Same figure (she had a distinct figure), same hair, same overcoat, same pants, it was really something because I remember my grandma wearing the same coat she was wearing. Also, did I mention that the last memory I have of my Oma is saying goodbye to me at the airport when she dropped me off before I flew back to the US a year before she died ?

It just caught me off gaurd and I froze for a second. Of course when I looked at the woman's face, she looked nothing like my Oma, but it was like I saw my Oma all over again and I almost wanted to go up and tap the lady's shoulder. It was wierd.

This isn't the first time it has happened to me. I have seen her in my dreams before, and usually when this happens to me, it's a happy event, and I am not sad nor do I feel like I really miss her. I just know that she isn't here and that she's happier wherever she is. And that is fine by me. I already said goodbye to her and she had a beautiful funeral with Mozart music and a lot of flowers surrounded by the Austrian mountains and fresh air. Best of all, she is resting in peace next to my grandfather, the love of her life.