Saturday, November 19, 2016

My Crappy Financial Blatherings

Well Good Evening Kittens !

How are you all? I have actually been cleaning ! Not much, but I did manage to sweep and mop the balcony and give the litter box a deep clean. I worked hard in getting it clean for my cat. I really did, and the first thing he did was leave me a nice present.

It is really easy for me to retreat and sit in my room and not do anything all weekend, so when I feel inspired to clean and actually do it, I run with it and do what I can. Next on my list is laundry :( I don't like hauling my laundry downstairs, and facing the possibility of running into the neighbor that hits on me, or making small talk with other neighbors when I just want to be reclusive.

And now I feel a little inspired to write. I've even lit a candle, and my cat is napping on the beach chair.

So a couple of years ago before moving to Florida, I enrolled in a financial class at the local community college, and I have never regretted it. The instructors worked at Morgan Stanley and surprisingly didn't peddle their investment services, and they had a dry sense of humor. I was entertained. They talked about how important time is, and when you are young, time on your side is one of your biggest assets, especially when you don't have money. I was one of the youngest people in the class, which was shocking, I was expecting young twenty somethings to fill the seats. Most people there had been working for years and had assets, and I had nothing. In fact I was about to lose my job the following week and didn't know it. But hey, time is on my side!

They also left me with this quote, which I haven't forgotten by Sir John Templeton: "Bull markets are born on pessimism, grow on skepticism, mature on optimism and die on euphoria".

My grandmother has invested in the stock market and has done well for herself. She told me that it is better for me to take control of my money, instead of trusting a financial adviser. She told me I would get the same results, or better by taking a dart and throwing it at the Wall Street Journal. I agree with her. And I don't have to pay any fees.

I do invest a little in the market when I can so I can learn something and have a little fun. The instructors in my investment class said that one of their students invested his money and did really well, and when he asked about his strategy, the student said that he invested like he was planning to to invest to lose. I tend to agree with this statement, especially if you are are like me and plan to let your money sit for a long time and ride out the bumps on the road.

I have read a ton of investment advice: Get references and hire a good financial planner, analyze the financials and run through all the equations, really get to know the business you are investing in.
I think it's all bullshit for the most part if you are in my demographic, and this is probably a huge reason why I have no business telling people what to do with their money, and most people think I have lost my mind. 

Quite frankly, I think one of the few ways to make money in the stock market is to have some inside information which is ILLEGAL, so the other option left is to just speculate, which I think is useless most of the time. So if I am going to speculate, I am certainly not going to pay someone else to "speculate" based on what their boss wants, nor am I going to lose money to fees. Losing money when the stock price decreases should be the only "fee" I pay.

I remember my dad had an adviser years ago and said that he lost about half of his investment. I also remember about 16 years ago, I bought some Cisco stock on ETrade after listening to how well they were doing. My stepdad kept telling me it was the time to buy, and so I did, and of course I lost about half of my investment because soon after the dot com bubble burst, and I also sold out of fear. Now I try to do things differently.

First off, E-trade SUCKS, and they charge you too many useless fees. Now I use an app that doesn't charge any fees.

Now I also let my money sit, and I invest in companies when I see the stock taking a shit in the news. When I see people in the media freaking out, I will pay more attention to that stock. When online bloggers advise on what stock to sell, and what to avoid, I consider picking up a share or two. Hot stocks that we should all buy get steered clear of.

Recently I bought shares from a pharmaceutical company that was $2.00 a share. It has been steadily taking a dive, and I have steadily bought more shares. Not a lot, but a share or two hear and there. The company is waiting for some sort of approval, and there is some sort of hold up that they expect to resolve, so I felt like the gamble is worth it.

I think stock adviser bloggers are more full of shit than financial advisers that you pay to invest in the stock market. (I am not talking about mutual funds).

If you are a financial planner and feel that I have offended you, please know that I am probably as full of shit as you are. I just don't advise people and keep my financial thoughts to myself unless you are reading my blog.

I am kidding, I am discussing my opinions based on my demographic: Relatively young, very little assets, and no one depending on me. Obviously if you have a lot of assets, and own a lot of businesses you would probably be better off having an adviser in your corner. They would make a way more handsome commission than the financial advisers in my financial demographic. Trust me, there is no motivation for anyone to to anything for me with the income I earn. No one wants to be at my beck and call when their commission from me is less than twenty bucks. That's even if I buy or sell, which I don't do a lot of. So it makes more sense for me to do this myself.

So yeah, there is my .02. 

I encourage you to be on top of your finances. If you chose to hire someone that you trust, do trust, but verify.

If you are a married woman, I think it's especially important to be as involved in your finances as your husband.

Okay, now I am just starting to sound preachy and that is not my style.

Hugs and kisses.






Saturday, November 12, 2016

Election Thoughts

Good Evening Kittens.........

How are you all doing? I am taking the opportunity to relax at home with my cat and maybe get a thing or two done. My cat and I like to take cat naps together, and enable each other in being lazy. He got a lot of attention from me today. I like to give him head bonks and pet him with my forehead.

Ever since I moved into my condo, I have put the kitchen to good use. I never used to enjoy cooking much when I had roommates, but now that I have my place, I enjoy it a lot more, especially since everything in it is mine, and I don't have to clean up right away. My favorite thing to make lately has been portobello mushrooms with shredded cheese and garlic. If my stomach could handle it, I would opt for Mac N' Cheese and ice cream every night. But that can't happen because I don't want to bust my pants.

Now about that election. I was lucky to vote at the condo clubhouse this year instead of having to drive somewhere. It was fast, efficient, and the volunteers were very professional. I was thrilled that I just had to walk down the road. I remember volunteering for my precinct in 2008 when I was living in California, and had a fun time with it. We're stuck with our choices for four years and have to listen to a lot of bullshit throughout the entire campaign, so it's nice to feel like I have some sort of power, even for a few minutes to cast my ballot.

A lot of my friends on social media voted Hillary, and a lot were also for Trump. A small percentage voted for 3rd party candidates. And some didn't vote at all. I did vote, but choosing a candidate was hard because I don't identify with Democrats or Republicans enough to be a staunch supporter of either party. It has been that way for me for a long time. I don't feel like I fit in with mainstream society. I tend to sit right in the middle because I try to empathize with people. Also, I just don't trust what the news broadcasts from any mainstream station, so getting reliable information is quite difficult. Honestly, what do any of us really know about what's truly going on? Do we really know anything? Do you ever wonder if your opinions are really on point with what is really going on? Because I do. I think the only real way to know what's going on in our government is to actively be a part of it, and even then information gets skewed.

This election period I spent a lot of time listening to the viewpoints of others from both sides, and I agreed with where their hearts were coming from on both ends. When you listen to people speak about their beliefs based on experiences, it puts things into perspective.

I don't like how divided this country has become and how polarizing candidates and their supporters have become. If you don't hate this person, you are horrible and I don't want to be your friend! If you support this person, you support every shitty decision they have ever made ! The whole thing has become a circus, and I am ashamed of that. I was ashamed to watch the candidates sling mud at each other throughout their debates. I never actually learned anything about their policies or plans. It was a just a spectacle made for reality television.

The Peruvian elections were also this year, and I watched the Peruvian candidates debate. They were polished, polite, and way more civilized. I was ashamed of how we have acted as a country, especially in comparison to other countries.

Here are my thoughts on this election and our political system in general, for what it's worth:

1.) I never believed that Trump actually wanted to be president. I thought that he wanted the power and the glory without the responsibility. I don't think he actually prepared himself for the possibility of being president. Now I think he is scared and probably doesn't realize what he has gotten himself into. It's gonna be a long four years for him, putting his primary businesses aside so he can focus on running the country. He should have been more careful with his wish.

2.) Throughout this election I felt that Trump was secretly on Hilary's team, and that he was doing her a favor by saying some of the outrageous stuff he said. Did he mean what he said? Maybe he did, I know he is smart enough to know that what he said was offensive, this isn't his first rodeo in politics. I also kind of think that all of that threatening to put her in jail was nonsense, that he would never even come close do doing it. I kind of felt like this whole election was good-cop/bad-cop, and we all bought it.

3.) I don't think Trump is truly a Republican, or even believes in many of the beliefs that the far right has. That is why I think he was on the same team as Clinton. A lot of his voters wanted God back in this country, and are Evangelical Christians. Maybe Trump goes to church on holidays, but I don't think he really cares about religion, I think he is more into himself. And I don't think he really cares what bathroom transgendered people use, or if gays marry or not.  It doesn't mean that he didn't say the outrageous stuff he did, I just don't think he cares as much as he wants us to think we do.

4.) I really wish that enough Americans had enough confidence to vote for a 3rd party candidate, so someone other than a Democrat or Republican would at least be a formidable opponent.

5.) I vote and believe in voting, but not all Americans do. A lot of people get shamed for not voting, but I think it's their right to vote and exercising the right not to vote and should not get shamed for it.

6.) This country is so divided, and so many people didn't like the choice of candidates, that they felt their vote didn't matter. Who knows what the outcome would have been if everyone who was registered actually got out and voted? When I volunteered in 2008, people came out in droves to vote, and I felt we were more unified. I wish we could go back to that feeling, where people want to vote for a candidate, not feeling like they are voting for someone to prevent the other party from winning. No wonder many people stayed home instead.

5.) In addition to the sadness that many people feel for Trump getting elected, I feel that most of it is mainly shock that Trump actually won. The Democrats felt that they had a slam dunk, and would kill Trump on election night. Trump supporter prepared for defeat, and Clinton Supporters were so sure, and never for once entertained the idea that the would lose, which definitely made the outcome that much harder to deal with. A few things I hope we all learn as voters, which are things I learned growing up:

-- Always pretend the other person is smarter than you, even if you think they aren't. Many people laughed at Trump the entire time for acting like a buffoon and calling him an idiot, painting him out to be stupid. He is anything but stupid. Having offensive beliefs doesn't make someone stupid, it makes them offensive.

--Never count your eggs before they are hatched. Many of my Democratic friends the day before were proclaiming how excited they were that they were going to have a female in office for the very first time in history. Newsweek even printed the cover reading : "Madame President" BEFORE THE RESULTS CAME BACK. They were so sure! They never expected traditionally blue states to flip to red at the last hour.

-- Social Media and other media channels really did a good job in making it seem that there were way more Clinton supporters than Trump supporters. Many Trump supporters silently cast their votes on election day. I grew up in the Bay Area in California, a very liberal area, and here where I live is a small pocket of democrats. I didn't realize that almost all of my workers were in fact Trump Supporters. Growing up in a blue state, and seeing that the media is mainly liberal, how would I know any different? But I found out when the results came in.

Okay, I think I am done blathering on about politics here. I almost never discuss politics on Facebook because I am not a confrontational person at all, and I really hate the keyboard fighting. So instead, I post a lot of bullshit, and sarcastic memes.

I figured that if you took the time to read my opinion here, which is longer than a tweet, that you will probably be think your opinion through, and be rational with your response, if you chose to say something.

I also figure that I should leave my .02 here so I can read this four years down the road and see if anything has changed.

Okay, that is all for now.

Huggles











Sunday, November 6, 2016

Taking a break from my laziness to bring you a message............

Bonjour my little Macaroons ;).........................

Being lazy tends to overpower me posting, so I decided that I will just pop by and make this snappy. Hopefully I will be by more often. It's always interesting to go back and read what I was thinking this exact day one or two or more years ago. Not too far back, because I don't want to be reminded of my youthful stupidity.

Thank you to all of you who still read my blog. A few of you left some really nice comments for me last time and I appreciated every one of them.

So what's new with you?

My cat had worms yesterday and I took him to the vet. I saw what looked like a small white noodle stream out of his ass like honey. I immediately took him to the vet. Capturing him and stuffing him into a crate broke my heart, since I could feel his little heart racing out of fear. The vet gave him a shot, and he is back home and content. We feasted on smoked salmon together. He is sleeping in his favorite chair right now.

Every time I blog, I want to be positive and bitch and moan at the same time, lol. I also want to talk about my experiences growing up in a cult because they are just strange. It does not matter what a person's education level is or how smart you think they are. It really only matters what emotional state they are in and if you catch them in the most opportune moment. Society doesn't really grasp that, which is why cults exist and why MLM schemes exist, they pretty much feed off the same things.

My parents are extremely intelligent people, graduated from a great school, and they still got sucked into a cult. Dad left a while ago, and my mom is still there. Of course our relationship is pretty much nonexistent because I have a negative opinion of my entire experience. My mom was born and raised into a wonderful family in Europe that loved and supported her. And she still got suckered into a cult. She was such a wonderful mother before and when she first joined. One of the best. But after that she slowly turned into a cold, dismissive person, who discarded my feelings if it didn't match up with hers. She pretty much wishes I would shut up and leave her alone so she can live her life in peace. (Read: Go away). I will leave her alone by not actively reaching out to her anymore, because I really don't want to see her. Every time I tried to see her she would lie to me about why she couldn't see me and blow me off. She wants me to forgive her not because she cares, but so she doesn't have think about how I feel about it. If she were truly sorry,  I would have totally said "yes" and hugged it out. But she only tries to appease me very occasionally so the leader doesn't get mad at her for what I write.

Is she happy I write about my experiences ? Oh my gosh, not at all. She has even made some threats at me getting sued for libel. But its not libel if it's true, is it? I think she knows that deep down. She used to make claims that weren't true about me, but if that happened again, I wouldn't really care since she has done it many times before and I am used to it.

How would I feel if my mom blogged about me? I think about that often. I probably wouldn't like it. She feels like I have wronged her. But on the other hand, my mother has been really nasty with me over the years, which has given me thick skin. She has dismissed my experiences, laughed at what I said, gave a fake apology so I would "leave her alone", and told anything I have ever said to her to the cult leader. Nothing I ever told her was sacred.

I used to tell people my experiences and hope they cared or believed me. But most people either were too weirded out by what I was saying, simply couldn't relate, straight up didn't believe me, or just did not want to get involved. I don't blame them. The whole thing is strange. But I have gotten myself through it by talking about it and not being sorry for sharing my experiences.

But I also have a lot of family that do believe me and love me, and a lot of people that have left can back up what I am saying as true. I guess what I am saying now is I want people to read my story, but I am no longer relying on the hope that they believe me.  This blog isn't popular, I don't have tons of readers, and I will still come here to write when I want to. I write what I want when I want, and my readers don't dictate that. When I started blogging at the end of 2003, I had maybe one or two solid readers that commented after a year of blogging. It didn't matter. I stayed true to myself, and I will continue to do that. My faithful readers have appreciated that and I appreciated them. I have slowly gotten to know many wonderful people here.


Okay, I have written way more than I intended and spilled a little tea. Time to go shower. Huggles and besitos.


Sunday, September 18, 2016

I'm Back !

What's up my Bitches?

You aren't bitches, but that is my favorite greeting, so I used it. I may or may not use it again.

So I have not been posting lately, mainly due to laziness. I have so many things I want to say, but then I remember that there is a new episode of The Real Housewives I haven't seen (I watch them all), or I want ice cream or I would rather cuddle with my cat.

Which brings me to the next two pieces of news, in case you aren't stalking my Facebook page:

1) I finally bought my own condo.
2) I got a cat to match.

When I lived in California, owning my own place was simply not realistic, and because I never had my own place, I did not want to bring an animal into that uncertainty. I wanted to make sure that I could commit to caring for an animal in one place.

I got my beautiful black cat, Zack from Pet Supermarket, after closing on my home. I was just walking by the window one day, looking at cats and I noticed a beautiful black cat with a little spot of white stray hairs on his neck and shiny green eyes. He was shy and did not move, he just looked at me, and then looked away. I was told that he was a year and a half old, and that he had lived in the shelter all his life, and that nobody had adopted him yet. I wondered what it must have felt like, watching all his other cat buddies get adopted, but not him? When I saw him at the shelter, he was with a brown tabby cat named Alice. He was snoozing with her.

I always want to take cats home when window shopping, but I could not stop thinking about the beautiful black cat I saw. If he wasn't adopted by the time I came back, he would be mine. I thought it was sad that he had never been adopted.

Lo and behold, he was still there a couple of days later, and I started the adoption paperwork. I took him home for good a couple of days later. I liked his friend Alice, and when he got put in his crate, she looked at me and gave me a look of "why not me too"? I felt a little guilty, but I later heard she got adopted a few days later.

Anywho, here is my new cat in my new home. He was shy for the first couple of months, but he has warmed up to me lately. Once in a while when I fall asleep, I will wake up to him next to me, purring.

More on mon chat noir, later !





Sunday, October 25, 2015

Have you been drinking the kool aid ?

What's up my little Marshmallows ?

Happy Sunday ! I have been meaning to write you all for a while, but then I got addicted to court television. I have been watching bootlegged clips off You Tube for Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, and Judge Milian. I realize that these "judges" in reality are really arbitrators, and I know that they may not be following the letter of the law to a T, but that's not why I watch it. I watch it to see the judges' line of questioning. It is interesting to watch people not only be willing to put their private business on television, but also straight up lie to the judges. I always love it when they are caught in lies. If you take emotion out of the equation and rely mainly on logic, it really isn't so hard to catch someone in a lie.

So yeah, that is how I have been occupying my free time on weekends.

And what about you, my darlings ? I guess I have some catching up to do.

So last night I was watching Jonestown: Paradise Lost, on Netflix. For those of you that don't have Netflix, how could you miss out on something so cheap and entertaining ? Just kidding, if you don't have Netlix, you can find it on YouTube, aka YouBoob for free. Free is better than cheap !

Anyway, I am fairly certain you have heard about Jim Jones and his Jonestown cult, since that is where the term "drinking the kool-aid" originated. And for those of you who don't know, I was raised in a cult from about the age of 4 until I left for good at age 25.

Before I watched the documentary last night I really never read any of the Jonestown stories because it ended in a mass suicide/murder and I really hate reading about suicide.

But last night I decided to just watch it with an open mind, and while watching it I felt a little sick to my stomach. The reason I felt disturbed, because apart from the suicide/murders/sexual assault, my experience growing up was eerily similar.

And let's keep it real: I was lucky. I was never sexually assaulted, and we were never poisoned/medicated. I am also lucky because I got out. I was able to leave and start my life over at a young age.

Unfortunately cult stories are still misunderstood in society, because it is still taboo. If you are dealing with certain issues such as terminal illness or domestic violence, there are fundraisers for that, shelters, hospices, and people will rally around you and help you get better.

With cults, it is largely misunderstood, because people blame you for getting involved and don't understand the concept of vulnerability, mind control. combined with the desire to help others. Because I was there as a child and had no say in the matter, people are less judgmental towards me, but still look at me sideways and don't understand what I am talking about, and I get it. This isn't common in society, it is one of those things that exist in the underbelly of society, and still, no one really wants to talk about.

Anyway, while watching the documentary, I felt like I was reliving my childhood. I grew up in the Bay Area in California, and Jim Jones had his Temple there for years before moving to Guyana. Our cult leader had been trying to build an isolated commune for years, and it almost because became a reality in New Mexico, isolated from others.

Sharon Amos in the documentary reminded me very much of my own mother. Sharon Amos was married and had a child before joining the cult. She became one of the most zealous members, changed her name, and ended up killing her children. Her ex husband, although was not a part of the cult, tried to visit his only daughter. This was eerily similar to my situation. My mother was and still is a zealous member of the cult. To this day, my mother feels I betrayed her and has essentially turned her back on me. She has changed her name multiple times, and she basically stopped raising my brother and I when I was about 8 years old. Instead, she became a full-time, live-in servant for the cult leader. Before then she was a caring and wonderful mother. Since then, she has broken almost every promise she ever made to us, and would sell us out to the cultleader by any means necessary. I feel now it is best to just not even talk to her anymore, since there is no way I can tell her anything without her funneling information back into the group.

While I was in the cult, the cult leader and my mother really did a fine number on turning my brother and I against our father. My father used to be in the cult, but left when I was about 13. Once he left, he was allowed to see us, but only because he was paying child support and it was required by law. And my dad faithfully paid, but my mother took that money and gave it to the cult leader.

Watching the documentary brought back memories of my father trying to do the right thing for my brother and I, but instead getting ridiculed behind his back, and his attempts at getting us out were thwarted by my mother.

I am convinced that if the crazy cult leader asked my mom to do something crazy like move us out of the country, or have us die together, she would have. That is how committed to the cause she was, and still is.

What really gave me the creeps was watching Jim Jones talk to people. How he talked to people was pretty much exactly how our cult leader spoke to us. How he instructed his followers to answer to the media was pretty much exactly how we were instructed to talk to the press. It was always an "us vs. them" mentality. The whole world was against us, the classic battle of good vs. evil. We were the angels that were chosen to lead others into the path of God, while the rest of society needed guidance. Not only did they need guidance, but they were against us. I grew up thinking everyone that wasn't in the group was full of "bad" energy, including my own family, which resulted in consequences that has taken years to work through.

Anyway, I could write about this all day, but I am going to stop here for now and possibly write more later.

Huggles !