Thursday, December 31, 2009

Last Day in 2009

Hi Loves,

So today is the last day of 2009. One more day until 2010 ! I am crossing my fingers that this day goes by smoothly for me. Because to be honest 2009 was not a bad year for me. 2007 was the year from the fiery pits of hell that I am still recovering from.

However, the last couple of weeks make me want to die of embarassment. Basically what I feels like the curse of embarrassing moments started around the week of Christmas. I don't know what it is about me, but I have a knack for putting myself in embarrassing situations. This makes me question what 2010 will be about.

Take last night for example. The biggest pervert of a contractor who I would never want to see me taking a whizz................. you guessed it............walked in on me. I had to go so bad, and because of that I forgot to lock the door, and it was late at night. Usually no one is around.

And I can't even tell you the rest of it because you would have to be a woman to appreciate the rest of the story. But the point is, he slowly opened the door. I get the feeling he was trying to get a closer look although I can't prove it under oath. All I remember is yelling at him to stop looking at me. He opened the door real slow. You think that if he didn't really know if someone in there that he would knock first ? Well he didn't.

This is the contractor who has the "no fat chicks" license plate border on his car while he is real fat himself and looks like the type you'd see a plumber's crack from. Last person on earth I would want to have to see in the bathroom.

And I feel violated. I used to chat with him while I was doing my patrols. Now I don't even want to look at him and do everything to avoid him.

Anyway, yesterday I mentioned how my friend Ashleigh introduced me to the video I showed. Well, she introduced me to this one first, and one of my readers mentioned it and it brought back memories.

I loved Justin Timberlake best when he was  in N Sync. I think he's better in a boy band or doing a duet with someone. And what better way than for him to sing with another man about his junk in a box ?

So that is all for now my little chocolate kisses !

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Why I have friends................

Hello My Little Chocolate Kisses !

I admit it, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and my hair is frizzy as hell right now. I don't feel like taming it today. I also  feel like my uterus is about to fall out ! It's just one of those days where some chick behind me could click her shoes too hard when she walks or someone could breathe too hard and it would bother me.

I am also nervous about the upcoming new year. I can't believe I will turn 30 that year ! You know how you imagine your life ? You try to plan it out as best you can but at some point you stop thinking about what will happen. My planning stops after I turn 30. It's not that I think I will die. I think I will live past 30 (great-grandma lived till 102). It's just that I don't know what to fill in the blanks after 30. My mind draws a blank. It will be new territory for me because I am so used to my twenties which have been filled with excitement, adventure, pain, and a whole lot of self-inflicted stupidity.

OMG, I look back and can't realize some of the things I wore, said or did that I was truly convinced was a good idea. Luckily most of those people have moved on (college or life got in the way) or live in other countries so the chances of them forgetting are pretty high. Anyway, I don't know if I will somehow wise up after 30 or grow up a little more, or if I will start actually acheiving my bigges goals. I guess part of me wants it to remain a mystery.

So anywho, I am getting off track here.............

I was talking about why I have friends. Yes, I have friends for many reasons. One of them being that they introduce me to new things.

Take my Mama Cita Ashleigh for example. She sent me this video. The tune is so catchy that I now have it on my iPod. My favorite part was the Justin Timberlake cameo.

What would I ever do without Ashleigh ?

Anyway, here you go my loves..............

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Sexy Six

Hello Kittens !

Today marks my 6th anniversay here in blogland ! I first started just after I turned 23 and now I just turned 29. So much has happened in my life and I've accomplished things, but my biggest hopes and dreams have yet to come true. I have yet to actually fall in love (I have never been in love) or find a job in my field.

Anyway, because it's my 6th year up here, I will tell you six sexy things about me. Well, not really. But I will talk about my preferences about the opposite gender or whatever I feel like telling you.

1.) My favorite features on a man are broad shoulders and nice pectoral muscles.

2.) My top two compliments from men have been on my eyes and my smile.

3.) I have never run into anyone I've dated in the past. You know, like bump into while you're out shopping or on a date with someone else. That's my dating karma, and I say it's quite good !

4.) I believe that men should be the hunters and ask women out. I may support equal pay, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be treated like a lady.

5.) I still believe in the institution of marraige and I don't think it's just a piece of paper. Any man that tells me otherwise is not for me.

6.) I think it's sexy when a man is in touch with his heritage and invites me to be a part of it. I know my roots, I speak the language, and I like it when men know where they come from.

7.) BONUS: I blog about ripped hunks all the time for Hump Day Hotness, but the truth is that I have way more chemistry with intelligent men. Men that are a little on the nerdy side. I suck at math, so I like men that are good at math.

8.) ONE MORE: I don't believe men should groom themselves as much as women. I prefer them to be rough and more rugged. No metrosexual bullcrap. And no smelling like an Abercrombie and Fitch store.

That is all for now, and no offense to you if you do wear Abercrombie and Fitch !

Monday, December 28, 2009

It Takes A Man To Use It !

Hello There My Little Chemicals............

My friend sent this to me a couple of years ago, even though I don't have a coin purse. Due to my twisted sense of humor, I laughed my ass of when I saw this, and I still do.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Back To Reality

Hello There My Little Belgian Waffles,

So I am back home ! I decided that I will blog a little while I am waiting for my face mask to dry.

I had a wonderful time with my family on Christmas. Every time I go to my grandma's house, I usually see different old pictures on display. The most recent was of my great-grandmother volunteering with the American Red Cross. My grandma was telling me stories about how "granny" always volunteered for the Red Cross and the church.

Granny lived to be 102. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know her very well. I would visit with her and talk to her, but when I knew her, she was in a chair all the time, and I didn't get to know her as the rest of my family knew her. She was definitely a strong woman that everyone looked up to.

She passed away when I was 15, but how much can you really absorb as a teen ? It was nice for my grandma to fill in the blanks. My grandma was telling me how she met my great-grandpa, and how she loved only him and wouldn't even consider looking at another man after he passed away.

Other than spending time with the family, I spent some time at the beach and took some pictures, which I will be posting in my photo blog. I also watched a lot of TV and caught up on the reading (The Lost Symbol).

So the new year is coming up, and I already have my resolutions. I posted them in my private blog, but the number one goal that I can not ignore is to find a new job in my field. That definitely needs to happen. Either that or I will die trying. I am no longer afraid of rejection. Okay, maybe I am a little, but I will fake it until I make it.

2009 was not a bad year for me (Knock on wood, I still have about 4 days left). Unless anything drastic happens in the next four days I managed to keep it together this year and actually make progress. I got my paralegal certificate, which was definitely a step in the right direction. And unless something happens at work in the next four days, I managed to stay employed too.

I don't know what 2010 will be like, but I am cautiously optimistic. I hope for some new changes in the right direction.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Holiday Cheer

Hello My Little Peppermint Patties,

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas !

I know I've been bad at making my rounds on blogland, but I will catch up soon.

I have been very blessed to be able to spend it with my grandparents again. I also got to visit with my dad and my cousins. I haven't done much but sit around and talk, but that's all I could ask for with them. I've also been eating a lot of chocolate and ice cream. I am currently snacking on Safeway's Peppermint ice cream, the limited edition. It's good. And it's half the fat so I will get another helping after I am done with this one.

I was also able to get a lot of pictures of the sunset at the headlands. My folks live by the ocean so I got some amazing pictures of the sunset my first night here. I couldn't stay for the whole sunset, but I was around long enough to take in all the colors and enjoy it.  And that's a good thing because it's raining today. Last time I was here on Thanksgiving, I got to see an amazing sunset without bringing my camera. At least this time, I got it all on camera. And this sunset was better than the one on Thanksgiving.

I will be back in town tomorrow and will then have to go back to reality.

Other than that, nothing much else to report........... aw who the hell am I kidding, I got a lot of stuff to report...embarrassing moments, catchy situations, but I am not going to blog about all that. At least not on here, probably on my private blog though.

I will say that on Wed, I got a text out of nowhere from the man who broke my heart (I blogged about him here before) a few years ago. He wanted to get together for drinks, and I kept telling him to eff off for a while. But then I gave in, and we had drinks. I am glad we did because it was closure for me. I got to ask him why he treated me the way he did, and got honest answers. It's true that you won't always get answers, but I will take them if I can get them. And they were the answers I needed to hear.

I also realized that I am no longer attracted to him. Not only that, but I feel sorry for the mentality that he is stuck in, which is how I got hurt. Not only that, but I can see that I have grown up a little, and moved on from it. This was someone I used to be crazy about, but now when we were having drinks I was counting down to going home.

Of course I don't feel this way about most of the guys I've dated in the past. I just prefer to pretend that they do not exist.

Anyway loves, time for another helping of ice cream !

Peppermint kisses !

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Happy Merry Holidays !

Hello Loves,

Just wanted to wish you a happy holiday season. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !

I am planning on visiting my family tomorrow. I am just sad my brother won't be going up with me. It's usually our tradition to ride up together. But I am happy to be seeing my dad and my grandparents.

So that is all for now. Just want to keep it short and sweet.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I'm not humping on Hump Day

Hello My Little Blueberry Muffins,

So today is Hump Day, and normally I am here touting some hot piece of man that makes us ladies all hot and bothered. But you know what ? I don't know if there are any other male celebs that I really lust over. Or at least nothing comes to mind right now. And I don't want to alienate my ladies, so here............

Feast your eyes on that ! Is he good looking ? Yeah, but I just never really fantasized about him but I know of a couple of readers that do, and this is for you ! And what is it with these underwear ads where the bulge looks all smoothed out ? No man's junk folds like that unless you are sticking a sock in there or something for assistance, which would then be kinda cheating, no ?

But then again, I can't say anything because women are guilty of enhancing their boobage and hair ALL THE TIME. Luckily I can say that God blessed me with plenty of both so I don't have to do that. But I guess we all do what we have to, to sell underwear or attract the opposite sex.

Well my tasty little breakfasts, that is all for now. I have a lot on my plate right now, and am kinda stressed out, so I will keep this short for now.

I wish you all a happy holiday season. I celebrate Chrismas, so Merry Christmas ! If you don't, then Merry Happy Whatever it is you celebrate.

Kisses under the Mistletoe !

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Sunday Scoop

Hello Loves,

So I worked a full shift over the weekend and it was overtime. I cherish any hour of overtime that I can get, especially since my bosses are doing everything they can to limit it.

Today I went to the gym and while I was there, I saw a Viagra commercial. Some guy talking with his reflection about how he can't get it up. Basically the man was walking in front of a window, and his reflection was talking about his "problem" and the man said " I don't want to talk about it" and his reflection looked back and him and said that of course men don't want to talk about their erectile dysfunctions. So then the men walked into the Viagra center and shook hands with the doctor. Oh how touching ! Also makes me feel glad that I am not a man.

If it were a female commercial, women would be huddling around and talking about their female problems. But men have no one to talk to when they have issues with their junk. All they can do is talk to themselves and hope that their reflections guide them to a solution.

Okay, time to go to bed, so that is all for now my little furballs.

Besitos !

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Just........... Wow

Hi Kittens,

So today I was driving downtown, and I couldn't believe what I saw. I saw a woman walking her cat. I've never seen it before in action, and today was my lucky day. A woman had a purple shiny lease on her cat and freaking walked it. And the cat was obedient. Unbelieveable. I was definitely openly staring at her with my mouth open. I wasn't even going to try and hide it.

Other than that, I worked a full today which is overtime. I am tired right now and need to get some sleep.

That is all for now.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Finally Friday

Good Morning My Little French Hens,

How are you ? It's finally Friday and I am looking forward to sleeping in this weekend. I will be working extra on Saturday (tomorrow) but after that I am free as a bird to do what I want. I plan on practicing dance and hopefully cleaning my godforsaken room and car.

Here are some other things going on in my world in no particular order:
1.) San Jose Senorita. That, my little feathery friends is my photo blog. I am a little camera whore, and I have been taking pictures of the area where I live, and lately I've been posting pictures of San Francisco from my trip with Ashleigh and Porkstar. I am really happy because people have been stopping by and I have been slowly gaining followers.

-What that blog has been helping me do, is get to know my area better. Yeah, I live here but how often do I get out and appreciate what is around me. There is a lot of history in the SF Bay Area. Also, I am not the only one posting photo blogs. If you look at my blog roll, over half of the blogs I've subscribed to are photo blogs from around the world. Some of the locations up there include: Brazil, Belgrade, Switzerland, Egypt, Romania, Barcelona, Paris, San Francisco and Amsterdam just to name a few. It is interesting to see what people capture. When I was in SF with Ashleigh and Porky, we all took pictures. When you looked at each of our pictures it was interesting to see what each of us captured on camera. We all had different pictures. We all had different ways of looking at the city.

Also, just because you live in your town and think you've seen everything or don't really care, does not mean that someone else won't. It's interesting to see people take an interest in my blog and look at pictures from my area and like it. Just as I look at their picture blogs and enjoy their views.

2.) I am so sore from yoga. Unbelievable. I could barely walk yesterday. I was about to cry in class from all the poses. People next to me were doing them with great form, and there I was barely able to hold the pose without falling on my ass. I have such a hard time because I am pigeon-toed, and I am not very flexible with my lower body at all. It is really hard and I just have to work through it.

Also, I hate pushups. So getting into the plank position, holding it, and doing it over and over is so hard. But I know I could get better if I keep trying. I need to work through this as yoga was the doctor's orders for my TMJ.

But also, I didn't just start off in beginning yoga. I just went straight to the more intermediate class. I didn't really have a choice since that was all I could do with my current schedule. Hopefully that will change. I will definitely welcome a more beginner class next week.

The instructor in my last class was really nice, and you could tell that she did a lot of yoga. She was in very good shape. The only thing was she kept calling out the yoga poses in Sanskrit (is that the language they use ?) and I couldn't understand a thing. I can barely remember the poses in English.

Okay, gotta cut this short and get back to work.

Namaste !

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Thrust on Hump Day

Hey Boys !
Wake up because it's time to thrust ! I am making y'all thrust a little early since I won't actually have time to post the Thursday Thrust on Thursday.

Anyway, today's thrust is Cindy Crawford back in the day when she did the Pepsi commercial. Supermodels are no longer what they used to be unless you are looking at a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Gone are the days of curves, full lips, long luscious hair and big doe eyes. I used to look at supermodels and want to be one. Nowadays, they aren't that inspiring.

Anyway, here you go, Enjoy !

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Hump Day Hotness on Titillating Tuesday

Hello There My Little Whipped Cream Cans,

It's still Titillating Tueday, but what the hell............... I am busy tomorrow, so let's bring on the Hump Day Hotness now !

Just look at that sculpted piece of man meat displayed below for your viewing pleasure. His name is Jessie Pavelka. Looking at him makes me look forward to going to the gym. Wow.............

Anywho, he is known for being on the show Diet Tribe which is on the Lifetime Channel. Basically a group of overweight women need to lose weight and they get Mr. Hotness as their trainer along with a therapist. I would love him to hover over me and train me ! Whatever he wants. Run up a mountain ? Swim across a river ? And then collapse into his arms after ? Done !

Okay, time for me to go to bed so I can get up at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow morning and hopefully have enough energy after to work out.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Random List Of Things

Hello My Little Turtle Doves,

Been a busy weekend and it's turning out to be a busy week. I have a long blogroll, so just know that I will stop by all your bloggies and leave my pearls of wisdom. Because I love you little feather balls. Group hug !

In the mean time, here is what's been going on in my world in no particular order..........

1.) I joined a yoga studio. Up until now, I've been doing my yoga in classes at the gym. No comparison. You really get what you pay for. I am shelling out more dough to join a yoga studio and they do get expensive, but it's worth it.

The yoga classes in the gym aren't really inspiring. There really is something different about a yoga studio, and the environment is more peaceful and quiet. Plus the instructors can instruct you better. And I need all the instruction I can get. My form sucks.

2.) It is definitely the holiday season, and I went out with some childhood friends of mine on Sunday and we went to Christmas in the Park here in my town. We saw all the Christmas decorations in the park. It was very nice. You could even go ice skating, which I did last year with Ashleigh on New Years Eve.

3.) I met up with a friend of mine from my days at Enterprise Rent A Car on Saturday who I haven't seen in a few years. He's been traveling and is finally back in town. We were going to go bowling at the alley near the mall by my house. This alley used to be a favorite of mine. When I worked at Red Lobster we would always bowl together after long nights of serving to blow off steam. Same with Enterprise Rent A Car. It was nice back then, almost upscale. At least that's what they were going for.

So we went back over the weekend and I was throroughly disgusted at what I saw. The place turned into freaking Hoodrat Central. It was so unfuckingbelievably ghetto. These wanna be thugs and wanksters with their little hoochie mamas littering the place. I walked in around 11:30 at night on a Saturday and there was this young dude with his little daughter and trying to sit her in a barstool type chair without a booster chair. He was probably out and couldn't find a sitter. His baby mama was probably out partying and he didn't want to miss hanging out with his boyz and just brought his toddler along for the ride. Scary to think that the women of our future will be hounded and groped by boys like that.

Anyway,  I saw a cop sitting in the bar on patrol in there as fights have probably broken out. We didn't stick around for long. When I asked the hostess about the cop being there, she just said he was simply there for "backup".

Wanna know what the kicker is ? Planned Parenthood is right across the street. These little futures of tommorow probably catch Vds in the bathroom and just walk across the street to get it taken care of the morning after.

See, this is why I am so scared of breeding. These guys in the bowling alley had these oversize baseball caps on and their pants were sagging low with their asses hanging out and ugly gaudy sneakers, and they walked like they had they had a stick wedged up their asses. To think that boys think this is a cool way to dress. And to think that girls fall in love with that and bring it home. Or worse, get knocked up by a wanna be thug and then become baby mamas and have little gangstas of their own. It makes me want to superglue my legs shut for life. Parents today must have it so rough !

So that is all for now.

Besitos !

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Hello Loves,

Above is a picture from Thanksgiving this year. My aunt took this picture of us on the swing in the front yard on Thanksgiving morning. The girl to the very left is my cousin, whom I had never met before Thanksgiving. Very nice girl. It was nice meeting her and talking to my grandma in the garden as she isn't outside much. She has lupus and is basically allergic to the sun. It was cloudy outside when this picture was taken.

What was nice, was that my aunt took our picture. I did not have a picture with my grandma up until now. I don't know how all this time passed without posing with her, but it did. But now I have this, and it means a lot to me. Those of you who have read my blog long enough know how special my grandma is to me. She has definitely been a role model to me over the years, and I am really blessed to have her in my life. And she knows it too.

The little dog is Molly. Molly joined our family early this year. She was a rescue dog and was very weak and scared. Now she is coming out of her shell and feels more comfortable around people. My grandma and grandpa spoil her rotten. She is also such a little slut, even though she is fixed. She has the hots for my aunt's dog, Bobby and every chance she gets she is always trying to lie under him.

So that is all for now. Christmas is coming up and I hope to make the drive again.

Friday, December 11, 2009

F*ck !

Hello My Little Calling Birds....................

Oh wow, I worked until midnight last night. I came home tired and was looking forward to just chilling out.

When I walked in my room there was a huge wave of ants streaming across my dresser, and trailing underneath my desk.

They were clearly after the concealed tin containing my grandmother's baked cookies on my dresser.

This is winter. I know when I can keep dried goods in my room. I would never do it in the summer. But it is clearly in winter when it's freezing outside. I forgot to consider that we blast the heat in this house.

And I have never seen such a huge wave of ants. Scurrying all over my dresser, crawling all over my makeup, hairbrushes, cosmetics and vitamin bottles. I was absolutely mortified. I took out the Raid and sprayed in underneath the desk, and a little on the dresser.

I am hoping that these little fuckers bug off soon since I threw away my grandmother's cookies. So miffed about that. I love my grandmother's cookies :(

Luckily they aren't anywhere near my desk or bed so I can go to sleep. I am too exhausted to clean it all up right now.

But the good news is, that at work today there was a conference and I got my hands on the leftovers after. I felt like Templeton in Charlotte's Web. You know that fat rat at the carnival that keeps finding food ? I felt like that. I also got my paws on some cake. So good. Lemon coconut cake to be exact. Yummy !

Anyway, I need to calm down right now and deal with these fucking ants later.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Scoop

Hello Loves,

I've been meaning to write a post about what's been going on in my life. That's why I started this blog. To blog about my days so I can reflect on them down the road. Sometimes I like to look back exactly a year ago to see what I was doing and how I was feeling.

December 29th will be my blogging anniversary. Six years in blogging land. Things my blog has covered:

1.) Graduation from the university
2.) My whole year trip abroad in Barcelona
3.) The deaths of my grandma and grandpa (different sides)
4.) Other travels
5.) My graduation this year
6.) Moving
7.) Job searches
8.) Hopes and dreams for the years ahead

I remember my friends convincing me to write a blog. Now I am the only one of them still blogging. I've always blogged for me. For the first four years I wrote without getting a comment most days. It's nice to finally have regular readers and people that stop by to give support.

Lately I've been busy with work, volunteering and trying to keep a workout schedule.

I also have TMJ, and keeping that under control is time consuming. The only way to really treat it is to exercise 4x a week, take supplements, and three types of medications. Since I am new to all of this, I have fallen off the wagon a couple of times. I am supposed to see her next week, but I am going to push that back.

Have any of you ever used Voltaren Gel ?

Anyway, I have a lot more to write about, but I need to go and think about working out.

Thursday Thrust ;)

Good Morning Gentlemen !

Time to wake up and dust off your pelvises because today is Thursday Thrust time !!!!

Today's Thrust is Angelina Jolie. If I had to pick a team, either Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie, I would be on Team Jolie She is strange, but so am I. I don't identify with the pretty girl-next door image Ms. Aniston portrays. I feel more like the misplaced girl who doesn't quite fit in, but means well. (Disclainer: I don't date married men, though.)

One thing I really respect about Angelina is her dedication to charity. I don't care what she did with Brad, he is not even my type. But I respect the work she has done overseas, and how she has educated herself on issues in Third World countries. I think she has done a helluva lot more than her peers in Hollywood. While the others are talking about causes of the moment when convenient or throwing money at causes to preserve their images, Jolie actually means it. I believe she is serious about the work she does.

Also, ever since she's been wearing red lipstick, I can wear it without it being an issue since I've been told that my mouth takes up most of my face. It is also the only color that stays on all day and doesn't wear off. Revlon makes red lipstick the best.

Enough babbling, more showing................

So that is all for now.

We'll do this little dance again next week. I've got more up my sleeve !

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hump Day Hotness Sexy Time !

Good Morning My Little Blueberry Muffins................

Would you just look at that. My my my............... THAT, my little buttery breakfasts, is Galen Gering. He used to star in the soap opera Passions as Luis. It was the only soap opera I've ever followed, and I always loved seeing him in bed with his shirt off.

The show first aired in 1999 and was cancelled in 2008. I remember being so into it in college. I would always sit in the cafe in between classes and get my little Passions fix. It was my little guilty pleasure. I grew out of it after graduation.

Anyway, enough talking, more showing.................

Here get a load of that.................

You know what they say........... How you are on your feet, can be used to determine how you are off of them.

So that is all for now, my little morning sweetnesses. Gentlemen tomorrow is your turn, and I will see you for the Thursday Thrust !

Besitos !

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Titillating Tuesday

Okay, okay, maybe not titillating for you, but what's a roo to do ? At least someone is getting his rocks off......

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Hello There My Little Snozzleberries,

I was in San Francisco yesterday with my friends Ashleigh and Porkstar. We had a blast. We had a lot of fun in the city and we walked soooooo much.

Although we were polite to shopkeepers and cab drivers and tipped the waitstaff, we were obnoxious as tourists. We were loud and vulgar. Mommy would be so proud. Well, not really, but my dad would be.

When I am out alone I tend to be polite and quiet and keep to myself. When you throw in Ashleigh, I am loud and act like an ass to get a laugh out of her. I've embarrassed her on her birthday before.

And when you add Porkstar on top of that ? Well, any self control I thought I had, goes right out of the window.

Some of the stunts we pulled............

1.) Molesting three huge Christmas balls in the Financial District and taking pictures. No, I won't post them here.

2.) Porkstar is Colombian and has a thick accent. He asked if we could take a boat for a tour. I loudly asked why he would want to do that since he spent all that time coming over here on a boat ? The shocked looks from others in the crowd alone was worth it.

3.) Constantly running behind Ashleigh and Porkstar to spank them in public. It got to the point that Ashleigh would get scared everytime she heard my footsteps behind her.

4.) I burped loudly and tried to blame it on Porkstar.

5.) My favorite is when we were on the escalator. I was hugging Ashleigh from behind, and Porkstar was hugging me from behind. While we were doing this on the escalator going down to the Bart station I loudly proclaimed " BFFs coming through" !

6.) There were more, but I am not telling, not even what I did at Ghiradelli Square...............

Why am I sad ? Ashleigh had to work today and I just dropped off Porkstar at the airport. I'm gonna miss him :(

Basically, I will write more later but we did walk across the Golden Gate Bridge and we got some beautiful pictures out of it. We got up there just after sunset and walked across at night.

The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sun was out, we got beautiful pictures, spent a lot of time on the bridge and ate at Joes Crab Shack. Man that was good. Expensive, but worth it.

I can't complain. The weekend was a lot of fun.

More pictures and stories to come later. I also have a lot of other stuff in the mean time.

That is all for now........

Love, hugs, kisses and bridges,


Friday, December 4, 2009

Feisty Friday

Dear Woman At The Gym,

You were on the elliptical machine next to me. We were both working up a storm. You were kinda panting with your mouth open. I get it, it was a tough work out. But please know that your machine wasn't that close to mine, and I could still smell your breath. N-A-S-T-Y !!! A little Listerine never killed anyone.

What the hell did you eat ? It smelled like rotted fish with a hint of fermented ass. Now I don't really know what fermented ass really smells like, but if I had to take a wild guess, I would say your piehole smells like asshole.


The girl next to you.

Dear lady on the treadmill talking on her cell phone...........

We were in a gym, not standing in line for lattes at Starbucks. I can understand a one minute conversation in the gym. But you spoke on your celly for 10 minutes talking about god knows what. I was trying to listen to my music, but I couldn't concentrate because you were louder. You were walking and talking.

FYI, it sounded like you were talking to a man, and that you two were barely getting to know each other. I suggest you put down that phone if you want to see more results, because I can tell that the treadmill wasn't doing much for you.

Either concentrate on the task at hand or yap someplace else. Or just hire a trainer.



Dear contractor at my job site,

I don't mind talking to you to pass the time, but you are starting to get on my nerves.

1.) On your truck, you have a license plate holder that says "No fat chicks". Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ?????? What the hell ? If you were a woman, you would be one fat , hairy chick wearing a size fat-fuck.

2.) Please stop telling me about your sexual escapades. I am tired of hearing you trying to brag about all the chicks you banged and how they all liked it, and how they all just spread them for you. While we are at it, I am also tired of you telling me how your lady likes to get with other women and how she's always making out with other girls. You guys are just one big happy incestuous family. Please take the fondling lovenest stories somewhere else. Those images in my brain are just too much to bear. Not enough bleach in my house to get rid of those awful images.

I have some things to say to you:

-Women who scream like you say they are are are usually faking it.

-You keep telling me how you pick up chicks at bars, and how they want to go home with you. Lots and lots of chicks. The thing is, I know you are inflating the numbers a little. But I have also been paying attention to the details in each of your little escapades. You know what all these chicks have in common when you picked them up and banged them ? THEY WERE DRUNK. They were wearing beer goggles.  You also never told me what happened the morning after. Did they wake up and run ? Did they say they'd call you after getting you out of the house but never did ?

- No I don't want to bang you.

- When I tell you that you are full of shit, and that no girls did such things with you, I say with with a laugh, like I am joking. But really, I am serious.

Okay, that is all for now. See you around next week.


The girl at work.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Room For Rent: Kink and Utilities Included

Hello There My Little Furry Handcuffs,

So I was perusing the housing section on Craigslist for rooms for rent and I gotta say that there are some interesting ads out there. The one I copied below definitely takes the cake. I have never seen anything like it.

As of now, the ad is still running, so these butch dykes (their words, not mine) haven't found their vanilla one the outside-freaky deaky woman on the inside yet. Are you a female ? Do you live in the SF Bay Area ? Are you a lady in public and a freak in private ? Do you like other women and can you take a beating ? Well, then you are in luck !

Here is the link to the real ad. Reply to this ad and see what you get. And then report back to me...........

TITLE: kink friendly household seeks roommate

Yep, thought that would catch your eye. We are: butch dyke women living in a 4-plex in sunnyvale. the down stairs neighbors are Korean and have no clue. The house is in a nice quiet neighborhood, chimney smoke and kids leaving their toys on the lawn next door and off street parking and all that. we are also kinky, though something important to us is to keep everything related to kink for the home (or the dungeon, we are regulars at the locals). We tend to try to not bother the vanilla outside world. I am owned and collared to the women who owns the property and who will in a few months live next door with her other lover. I am a switch, although Im not necessarily looking for a live-in house slave or anything, that might be a bit awkward but really, who knows.. what I am looking for is a genuinely nice person who is kinky or kink friendly (who won't call the cops if s/he happens to hear someone being beaten soundly in the next is always consensual). I just moved in a few days ago and the second bedroom is available immediately. bedroom is painted white and is carpeted with slate blue commercial grade carpet. rest of the house has hardwood floors, and we have a kind of enormous living room. kitchen is cozy. baking/cooking is a hobby of mine and the kitchen is definitely adequate. I have two medium sided dogs who are furry. you gotta be ok with dog hair. I do my best to keep it at bay but with an australian shepherd, it kinda goes places sometimes. I also have a parrot who is super cool and talks though she can occasionally be loud. unfortunately, this is the limit on animals. possibly a rat or something in an aquarium might be considered, but no snakes or spiders. pet animals are not part of kink ever. price for rent includes water and garbage pick up, though we have to split electric and gas bill. gas costs almost nothing though cause we don't use it. male or female acceptable though if you send me a naked pic of yourself I swear, I will delete you automatically. if you are a het male looking for a mistress, probably not going to work out either. if you are a passable vanilla looking person who has a wild naughty streak but who can hold down a regular job and pass a credit check and who likes dogs as pets, this may be just what you are looking for. lease is month to month at least for a while til we see how you'll work out.

The Thursday Thrust

Arise and Shine My Roosters !

Today's thrust is Penelope Cruz. I've been following her for almost a decade now. I think she is a talented actress and I also think she is beautiful. She is Spanish, and from Madrid. One thing I like about her is that she's not afraid to step out of the house with no makeup. She is clearly comfortable in her own skin.

My favorite film of hers is Vicky Christina Barcelona. I saw it when it came out last year, and I fell in love with it because I lived in Barcelona and saw the city all over again, I love Penelope Cruz, and I also love Javier Bardem.

So the question of the day to you my little crowing friends, is do you like Scarlett Johanson ? Of course you do......

Well, that is all for now. I'll see you next Thursday, as I have a few more up my sleeve.

Abrazos y besos !

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hump Day Hotness Hunk Time !

Hello My Little Godiva Chocolates.................

I'm back ! Thank you all for your lovely birthday wishes. You are all the best and me love you long time !

I told you I would be back with a big bang. Today I have a treat for you ladies. And gents, please be patient because tomorrow it's your turn and I will have a little something for you too.

Anyway, today I present you with this..............

THAT, my little Parisian macaroons, is Gilles Marini. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that he played Dante in the Sex and the City movie. Nor do I need to remind you about that shower scene.

Normally I am not a big fan of the French male species. But I will make an exception for this dish. I don't know much French, but for this hot piece of French meat, I am sure I could string together a Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir for him.

Yummy. Just look at that................

Rawr !

Did you know that earlier this year he was in Dancing With the Stars ? He is a good dancer. I love Cheryl Burke and think they made a great couple on the dance floor.

He has been married for ten years, but that doesn't stop me from gawking. His wife is not jealous, and she is his biggest fan. She wanted him to do Dancing with the Stars and does not mind that millions of women are gawking at her husband. That is because she thinks it makes him that much hotter. The more people lusting after him, the better.

So I am just doing my little part. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Okay, so that is all for now. See you tomorrow for the Thursday Thrust.

Love, hugs and French kisses,