Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Stopping By to Say Hi !

Well Hello There My Little Smores,

So what is new with you all ?

I've been very busy lately, plus I also just started taking French lessons twice a week, so I have less time to stop by here. I will write more about my classes later.

In the mean time, I decided to make up a little meme, since I am the biggest meme whore around on blogland.

I will not be nominating anyone, because you are all fabulous, me love you long time, and let's all group hug and answer these questions.

Feel free to post your answers in my comment section or on your own blog. I will come back and answer my own questions in the next post.

Besitos !
















Sunday, June 27, 2010

Plastic Joy With A Twist... Eff, Marry or Kill

Well Hello There My Little Blueberry Pancakes...........

I hope that you are having a nice weekend.

I have a confession to make. I told my boss on Friday that he reminded me a little bit of Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder. Was that wrong ? Thankfully he hasn't seen the film yet. Now, my boss doesn't look like this man, and is not rude. However, if you put a little street in him and piss him the fuck off, I think he has the potential to act like Les Grossman in a hostile situation and possibly bust out a couple of his moves on the dance floor.

Anyway, enough chatter, I am on a mission here. I was presented with the Plastic Joy Award by                LL Cool Joe. Basically my little buttery breakfasts, I have to tell you who I would get "jiggy with" if I could do it with anyone.

The rules state that I have to list five, but I have six on my list. Why would you settle for hooking up with five people when you could have six, right ?

So here is what I am gonna do. I will list five people, then add my crazy one at the end. I will add a little twist to this. After I list each candidate, I will also tell you if I will eff them, marry them, or kill them, or maybe a healthy combination of the choices.

So here we go..............

1.) This is Javier Bardem, an actor from Spain. Now, I realize he looks pissed off in this picture, but they say that anger or aggression can lead to a party in the bedroom and that is kinda what I am hoping for with this man. I loved him Vicky Christina Barcelona. I hear he's dating Penelope Cruz so I don't expect him over anytime soon.

I would definitely eff him. Penelope can marry him.

2.) Anyone who's been reading my blog knows that this is Eduardo Verastegui, and that he is not only smoking hot, but that he is one of my role models. My mother saw his picture and doesn't understand what the big deal is, but to that I simply shrug and say that mommy doesn't know what she is talking about.

I would marry him and then eff him every opportunity for the rest of our lives. Llamame Eduardo, hablo espanol y creo en Dios tambien ! ( I can't figure out Spanish punctuation on this computer)

3.) That is Daniel Sunjata. I have seen him in Law And Order as the lab tech, as well as Rescue Me. He even did a little stint in Sex and the City when the series was still out.

I would eff him, definitely, especially in that uniform. I don't know about marriage, I am still holding out for Eduardo.

4.) This is Antonio Sabato Jr. I saw him on My Antonio last summer as he was looking for love. He was also a Calvin Klein underwear model. So hot ! I think he is smokin' and I hear that he is better looking in person than in pictures or on film.

I would totally eff him, but then I would have to kill him because I hear he is a huge douche. Actually, maybe not kill him because he has two kids and children need their fathers.

5.) You all know who this is, and if you don't, then you've been hibernating in a cave. This is Brett Michaels, and I am a huge fan of his from Rock of Love and then Celebrity Apprentice. I love his music, and his outlook on life. He has got to be one of the nicest people, at least on TV, and I hear he is great to his fans.

I would definitely eff him with layers of protection, but no way in hell would I want to commit to him. The Rock of Love girls can have him.

And now for the crazy bonus...............................................

6.) Russell Brand................... I hear he's engaged (possibly already married) to Katy Perry. Now, I used to laugh at him and wonder why on earth she would want to be with someone like him, and how could he possibly commit to her for the rest of his life ? Plus he just looks all around crazy, at least in pictures. He has got to be under the influence of some narcotic.

But over the weekend, I saw To The Greek. When I watched him in it, I found myself attracted to him. OMG, I was so embarrassed, and I turned to my friend and confessed to her, expecting for her to laugh at me. But NO, she turned to me and told me that she would do it with him too ! So I am not the only crazy one !

My verdict............ I would get drunk with him, and then let him take advantage. I would probably have the urge to kill him when sober, but I am hoping that by being under the influence of booze, that I would block most of that out.

So................. Here are my five nominations.........

1.) Mac
2.) Mama Cita Ashleigh
3.) Red Shoes
4.) Danielle
5.) Mindy


Darrin the Retro Dad ! I know he is happily married with children, I bet he has a celebrity pass somewhere in his pocket and I want to know about it.

That is all my loves.

Abrazos y besitos !



Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Follow Up To My Sexy Dinner

Well Hello There My Little LOL Cats,

So you remember yesterday's post, right ?

Well, you and your comments all rock ! I thought I would take the time to clarify things.

I have never tried Jussipussi (just because I offer it for dinner doesn't mean I've tried it myself), but I have had Cock soup before. Lots of protein.

As for the Swallow Balls, they aren't really my thing. But I have definitely had cream pies before. And not just Irish. I am pretty sure Spanish cream pies are the best. But we are all biased I am sure. What's your favorite ?

**Disclosure** Except for the picture of Rose Cream Pies, I took the other pictures off Google. I took the picture of Rose Cream Pies myself which I bought close to my house.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hey Baby, Dinner at My Place ?



Let's start off with a little appetizer. Something to get you in the mood for the meal.

How about.....................

Mmmmmm.. Spicy....... Want something to dip in that ?

Now, let's move onto the main course. You just had a pretty meaty appetizer, so we'll go for something different for the main course............

How about dessert to finish off the evening ?

                       Mmmm, Irish made, filling, and no artificial coloring or  flavoring ! Doesn't get better than that !  

So............... See you at eight ?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy Belated Father's Day

Hello There My Little Belgian Waffles !

Happy Belated Father's Day to all you dads out there ! I spent time with my grandparents and my dad over the weekend and we all had a great time. My grandma makes the best cookies and brownies ever ! I also got to catch up with her and grandpa for a few hours which was nice.

I took my Old Man out for breakfast and at the restaurant they were giving away free duct tape to the dads. I don't know what my dad is gonna do with his. Dare I ask ? Anyway, my dad has lived out of state for many years, so this was the first time I got to take him out and it was nice.

I also got my first ride on a Harley. My dad took me on his bike, and it was really nice because my family lives by the Mendocino Coast and we got a great view of the ocean. I hadn't been on a motorcycle since I lived in Barcelona, so I think it was time for another ride. Now I understand why dudes love their motorcycles.

So anyway, special shout out to you dads out there. I think that fathers don't get enough recognition and they really deserve it. My dad is busting his ass right now taking care of my grandparents, assisting in managing their business and he is helping take care of a family member with cancer.

The best thing my dad ever instilled in me early on is that life is not fair. That and being a stickler about finances. We did not have the nicest clothes nor did we drive expensive cars even if we could've afforded it. We lived within our means, and he paid for private school. We had the basics, and if we wanted something more, we had to work for it. Now I may not have had the "cool" dad that bought me the latest fads, but this has paid off in the long run.

Had he raised me to feel that I was Daddy's princess and that I am entitled to everything because I am Daddy's Princess, then I would have had a helluva hard time in the real world. Especially since the past couple of years have been filled with a lot of  missed opportunities and rejection in finding a job, dating and friendships. Because of that, it was easier to simply accept it when things flopped, move on and try harder. I am not so afraid of rejection anymore. But this year I found a great job and have wonderful friends. It really only takes a moment for an opportunity to come your way.

I feel like I have a good grasp on reality thanks to him and I don't feel like anyone owes me, nor that I owe anyone anything.

Anywho, time to get ready for bed, my tasty little breakfasts !

Besitos. Muah !

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Pointless Profanity

Hello There My Little Chocolate Cakes,

So........... I am about to go visit my grandma, just waiting for the laundry to be done.

I found the clip below on You Tube, aka You Boob. I've never seen the full movie Tropic Thunder, but I LOVE Tom Cruise's character, Les Grossman. I am not the biggest Tom Cruise fan, but I think he is slowly redeeming himself with that chunky, balding, hairy profane character of his.

I am not a confrontational person, and I can't remember the last time that I have gotten into a yelling match with someone face to face or even on the phone like that. If someone pisses me off, I usually try to cool off before I retaliate, if I do. I am a peaceful person by nature.

But sometimes, I wish I had the balls to just tell someone to eff off like he does. I wish I had a had a "tell people to fuck off" card I could use once in a while with no consequences.

So that is all for now my little desserts. Tchuess ! Besitos ! Ciao !

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Random Blather........ and turtle sex

Hello There My Little Cupcakes,

Happy Friday !

I have a lot to say and I have no desire to be organized about it, so here goes.................

1.) Today is the day that I have 100 followers on my blog ! Me love you all long time ! I love my readers. You all are the best, and so are your comments. I have been real busy lately with my job and other stuff so just know that I will make my rounds to your blogs, especially to those of you that commented for the first time recently. I know who you are.

2.) I just drank a Bellini in my new champagne glass and then took my last shot of Nyquil. Let's just say that I feel "muy tranquilo" or shall I say "relaxed." But I'm not so happy that I'm out of Nyquil and coughdrops.

3.) I have rude neighbors. Basically someone was smoking by their window and their smoke carried to the apartment of the next person. Instead of nicely asking the offending person to please go somewhere else in the apartment or go outside, a nasty note was left in the lobby for all to see saying "You early morning smokers smoking by your window, you know who you are ! It is so NASTY gagging on someone else's smoke and , blah blah blah, I am an entitled whore because I don't smoke and I'm better than you....blah blah blah.

Basically my little desserts, this is not the first time someone in the building has decided to be rude. Other rude notes have been left before such as with the recycling issue, and did I ever mention that one of the women down my hall is a huge twat ? Although I know that she didn't leave the nasty smoker note because she is a pot smoker herself. Thanks to her, our hall smells like we are all supplied with dealers.

Anyway, so I whipped out my pen  and wrote on that piece of paper that rudeness is nasty and whatever happened to saying "please" ? I swear, non-smokers,  especially in California, think that they can be total cunts to smokers. I don't even smoke and this pisses me off.

4.) Before I go, I have a little somethin' somethin' for you. I can't take all the credit because to be honest, I found it on someone else's blog. The problem is, it was about a year ago, and I forgot who the person was.  But obviously the turtles were memorable.

Folks, let this be a lesson to you. If two animals in shells can bang it out, then what is your excuse ? Did you see the female turtle's reaction ? Just staring at the camera while Mr. Turtle is pumping and moaning away. They must be married.

That is all for now loves.

Abrazos y besos !

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What the Eff is Wrong With People ????

Hello There My Little Rose Buds,

So, I realize that it's been a while since I've done a "manslation". I call it a "manslation" for now since this blog is small and I don't make money off of what I write, but some other guy I think trademarked the term, so I will probably have to come up with a new name in the future if he finds me and asks me to cease and desist.

Maybe I can say that I can "helate" like relate, but from a man's point of view.

Anyway, I was perusing Craigslist personals M4W for more blog fodder, and I came across this gem.
Look, I understand that a lot of men have Asian fetishes, especially where I live. It's all good, there is someone for everyone and I think you're entitled to whatever preferences you may have. What I don't agree with is making a joke out of it. Stop calling them pearls or lilies or delicate flowers or porcelain china. So overused, especially on Craigslist. We're not living in the 1970s anymore and we don't live in a war film. With a huge Asian community here in the SF Bay Area, you think people would know better.

Anywho,  ad from the douche du jour below. As usual, my "manslations" are in blue..........

asian flower to grow with white lily - 57

Date: 2010-06-16, 8:28PM PDT
in garden of sunshine and beauty I grew up in the Free Love Era-must be healthy with no bugs notice I didn't mention whether I'm clean  -can be any age flower My petals are falling off, I can't be choosy -lily stands 6ft in sunshine-please send photo of flower in full blossem- spread eagled possible growing of little flowers together to make full garden of flowers I don't know what the fuck I just said, wanna drop acid so my petals can mingle with your petals ?
And BONUS ! Another one !

Date: 2010-06-14, 11:04PM
I don't like to brag but I have to play this game a little here right? I'm a good looking white guy I expect Asian women to fawn all over me just because I'm, white, tall muscular body and lately very attracted to Asian women Lately I've been watching a lot of porn. Maybe my tastes changed from the typica blondes out there. But the thing is I am a man's man type men hit on me all the time. I'm a firefighter insert lame big hose joke here, strong and rugged looking I don't shave or bathe often. Seems many Asian women prefer a computer programmer with pale skin I'm just jealous that those computer programmers are getting laid. Are there any Asian women out there that like a real man's man type of guy? Just broke up with my white gf of nearly 4 years I didn't just break up with her, I've been posting this same old ad for at least a year. White girlfriend is such old news. Also, I'm just afraid Asian women are too conservative for my 'wild' side. I don't think anyone could live up to the porn I've been spanking it to. But maybe I'm wrong? I'm not crazy just a little freaky in the bedroom and open minded.

Maybe you are like me?

If you like attractive caucasian men then let's at least talk and see where it goes.
Ladies...........Holla back !!!! You know you can't turn him down !!
Senorita is out ! Gonna go and try and get better for tomorrow ! Being sick is taking a hit on my social life.
Ciao y besitos !

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The latest.........

Hello There My Little Strawberry Shortcakes,

I am still feeling sick :( I woke up in the middle of a coughing fit last night. I bought Mucinex today, and I am continuing to take my vitamins and Nyquil. Senorita no likey being sick. I need a hug...................

I am sorry I don't have much to write. I am about to go watch Real Houswives on Hulu ( I don't have TV). I am such a Real Houswives whore. I am going to watch the second part of the NY Reunion (Team Bethenny) and then last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Isn't Danielle freaking crazy ? She makes for drama on TV, but her thrashing the baby's charity event is where I draw the line, and I think Bravo went too far.

Other than that, I miss working out. My appetite has gone out the window so it helps a little since I am not working out. But I miss working out. I missed bellydance this week, and I'm sad about it. But I hope to be back next week.

So that is all for now my little desserts. Besitos !

Monday, June 14, 2010

Not feeling the love.............

Hello My Little Pop Tarts,

So I am not going to lie. Today was just one of those days.

As you know I've been under the weather. Now my little sore throat has morphed into a deep-chest cough.

Did I also mention that Aunt Flo stopped by for a visit ? I am one hot, bloated, coughing mess. This really blows.

I swear to God, it took everything I had to get out of bed and go to work today. I refuse to call in sick. I need the money and I want to be able to take a vacation someday.

At work, it took twice as long to do everything because I had to doublecheck my work. Since I'm under the weather I had to make extra sure that I wasn't screwing up.

I haven't been working out. I tried to on Saturday, but I quickly realized that while I was shopping with my friend I could barely lift a coat off the rack plus it was 90 degress outside. We ate instead, and I went home to rest after.

I am taking a lot of vitamins, I just want this to go away. It's been over a year and a half since I last got sick, and I was starting to think I was invincible.

Anywho, time to take some Nyquil.

Besitos !

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I've been infected !!!!!

Good Evening My Little Bellinis,

I recently discovered the Bellini. No, it's not a sexual position, nor is it a type of body wax or dance move. The Bellini is an Italian sparkling wine, usually peach flavored. So delish ! Senorita likey mucho ! I can only find it at Cost Plus World Market. They even sell German/Austrian chocolates in German packaging.

Anywho, KrippledWarrior nominated me for an award. Like I've said before, memes are like STDs. We just keep spreading ourselves around in the blogging community, and you all have been so generous with me. I feel so loved, and surprisingly, not so dirty !

Anyway, be sure to give a salute to Krippled Warrior. Not only did he fight for our country, but he got injured in the line of duty. Major respect to him for fighting for our country. Not only for being a part in making this country what it is today, but also so people like me who don't want to, don't have to.

So the rules of this little survey are for me to tell you 7 things you don't already know about me. You know how many of these I have done ? I think I've told you everything. But I will give it a whirl and tell you seven more things.

1.) I used to dislike French culture and food and I swore I would never go to Paris after hearing their poor views about Americans as well as my dad's experiences in Paris. I don't know what got into me, but my attitude changed and I don't feel that way anymore. Now I want to go to France. In fact, let them laugh at a silly American like me. I hear the value of the Euro is going down, I think they could use more of our tourist dollars..............

2.) I can be very outgoing with friends, and I may seem social on this blog, but when I am out in public alone I keep to myself and I find it very difficult to walk up to people and start conversations. I am not the life of the party, and it's easy for me to turn into a wallflower.

3.) I prefer to go to the movies alone, rather than with someone. I am also not scared of eating alone at a restaurant. In fact, I enjoy it very much.

4.) I can't stand it when people whistle, especially a man. I am talking about when they whistle a tune, and the better they are at it, the more it irritates the everliving shit out of me.

5.) I've skydived, but I would never bungee jump.

6.)I have my preferences in men. But the truth is, the men I've ended up in relationships with were not my physical "type".

7.) I have such a hard time walking in stiletto heels. I can wear regular heels, but not stilettos.

8.) They say diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I don't really like jewelry that much. My hands and wrists are so tiny that most fall off anyway, and my pierced ears keep closing up. The only thing I wear sometimes is the ring and pendant I inherited from my grandmother. The only thing I would wear religiously is an engagement ring and a wedding ring. If I could chose between diamonds and traveling, I would choose traveling hands down.

9.) I can't stand sharing the bathroom with the girls down the hall at work. If I see one of them heading to the bathroom I will walk the other direction or take the elevator to the emptier floor. Nothing against the girls, I just want to be alone when I do my business. I also don't want to be their when they are curling their hair or having a gabfest.

10.) Before I croak I want to take a camel ride in the Sahara Desert. My boss went to Egypt recently. He went for a camel ride and sent us pictures. When he came back, I asked him if he got a picture of the camels toes. He said that he didn't but that he got a shot of his own foot, (hence "toe" ) in the background with the came'ls shadow and offered to show me. Very cool.

And here are the 5 people I nominate to take this meme...................

1.) Red Shoes
2.) Mac
3.) LL Cool Joe
4.) Danielle
5.) Riot Kitty

And three more as a bonus............
Illy and Fireblossom and Mindy !

And for those of you that feel left out, I have five meme questions of my own for you. Think of it as my specially designed VD for you. It is your duty to rub up against someone in bloggy land and pass it around.

Let's see if it ends up back with me !

1.) Look at your list of followers. Is there anyone that you would sleep with ? Who ? Actually, that person can be a commentor that isn't technically a follower.

2.) What would you do if you were dating someone or were married and that person gained a massive amount of weight. How would you react ? Would you pretend not to notice ? Would you gain weight in protest ? Or would you dump that person ? And be honest !

3.) Cairo or Amsterdam ?

4.) Ladies............... Bret Michaels or Tommy Lee ?
     Gentlemen.........Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie ?

5.) What would you do if your friend were dating your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend ?

Okay, that's all for now. I just had a little shot of Nyquil and I'm getting sleepy..................

Besitos !

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Big Incestuous Blog Circle

Hello There My Little Smores,

I am still feeling like shit. Sitting through work today was difficult. I attempted to work out this morning, and Lordy it was brutal. But I made it !

Shay has nominated me to take a bloggy survey and I could just not resist. I will chose five of you to be meme whores with me. This time, I am not linking your names to your blogs because I am sick and lazy.

1. Do you write blog posts to please yourself or to please your audience? Please myself. I've been blogging for 6 and a half years now and it's only been a year that I've had more than five comments. For the first 4 years I was lucky if I got one or two. I will write what I want whether people stop by or not.

2. How do you make people visit your blogs and to elicit nice comments on your handy work? Do you employ the heavy mob to bully your readers or do you use your gentle wit, charm and good nature. Seriously, what do you consider the best way to interact with your fellow bloggers?
I don't make anyone do anything that they don't want to do. I hope that people come by and comment because they've enjoyed what I posted or want to debate something. I don't want charity commentors. The best way to interact with my fellow bloggers is to be kind, as well as read their blogs and leave comments on theirs as well. You wouldn't believe how many people complain that no one comments on their blogs, when they never leave comments.

3. If you were starting your blog again would you do something radically different? Maybe, but probably not. I like my setup right now.

4. What is the most significant event in your life to date? I have had a lot of significant things happen to me, but right now I am most proud of my new job.

5. Would any of you like to appear on The Sunday Roast programme? I don't know what it is.

6. What do you like to do in your free time? I love to blog, read, work out, dance, and hang out with friends.

7. If you could go back in time which event would be of interest to you most, and why? Europe pre WWII. I just feel a strong connection to it, can't explain it.

8. Are you addicted to blogging? Do you think it is addictive? or can you take it or leave it? Blogging is therapeutic to me. I am not addicted, but I've been writing since 2003 so I don't know if I would want to stop. It's kind of like a record that I existed.

9. Which person on planet Earth, past or present, do you admire most, and why? I love both of my grandmothers and they both loved/love me very much. My grandmother told me that she is blessed to be my grandma, and I told her she is my role model. How nice is that ?

10. When this life is over do you think it is curtains or do you think there is an after life? I can't say for sure, I am not ready to find out. But I do think there may be an after life.

Here are ten more questions !

1.  What is your favorite bird, and why? a hummingbird, because they are beautiful, colorful, graceful, and they sip nectar all day long. I wish I could be on a sugar diet !

2. Free shoes for life or free coffee for life? Free coffee for life with a hot barista.

3. Do you have a lucky number? 7

4. You get to re-animate someone from the past. Who would you choose? That's easy, Beavis and Butthead !

5. You discover that your dog can talk. What do you do next? I don't have a dog, but if I did, I would start asking its opinion about other people.

6. You have to change into a man. Who? Who cares ? I have a penis, I am going to figure out what the excitement is all about !

7. You have to change into some other woman. Who? Adriana Lima

8. I am your Fairy Godmother. I can make you fantastically wise or fantastically sexy. Which will it be? It is so freaking hard to choose. I would end up asking for wisdom, but I would be lying if I didn't ask for more va-va voom !

9. You have to live the rest of your life as some type of animal. What kind? That's easy, I would be a bird because if anyone pissed me off, I could retaliate by shitting on their heads or cars or house. And what could they do about it ? It's not like they could grow wings.

10. You're going on a cruise with someone. Where are you going? After stopping by your mom's house, we would go to Egypt.

Ooh, and before I forget, here are my 5...............
1.) HMCinCali
2.) Ashleigh
3.) Red Shoes
4.) Mac
5.) LL Cool Joe
Take it and pass it around !

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Random Happenings

Hello My Little Parakeets,

So I posted a little clip above of the recent MTV Awards. I was totally shocked to find out it was Tom Cruise. Freaking blew my mind, and I can't stop watching this. It makes me laugh !

Other than that, I am in bed typing this right now because I don't feel so good. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. I was gonna run, but as the day went on, I was like "fuck this" who cares if my ass get's fatter, I am tired, feel sick, cranky, and I just want to go home and chill.

Yesterday was election day. I handed in my ballot near the end of the day, but at least I voted. Someone from the Voter's registration even called me up to remind me to vote.

I also participated in the census last month, so I feel like I've done my duty. One thing I didn't realize is that the census is only published after 70 years. So no wonder I couldn't find any census records for my family after 1930.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Besitos !

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Survey Whoredom !!!

Well Good Morning My Little Lattes,

And how are we this morning ?

Okay, down to business. Memphis Steve had a meme on his blog, and being the huge survey whore that I am, I snaked it from him and posted my answers here.

Here in blogland, I feel we are just one big, happy, incestuous family. Feel free to take this survey and spread it around blogland like an STD.

Love, hugs and kisses !

1. Coke or Pepsi?

Neither, both taste nasty, and I don't drink soda anyway. If I did, I would be one fat heffer with an even fatter ass! I eat enough sugar as it is.

2. Do you play a musical instrument?

Negativo, but if I were a man, I would probably play the skin flute !

3. If you could go back in time, would you make a different decision in your life?

Yes, I actually would, none of that  "everything happens for a reason " bs that everyone seems to like to utter.

Two things I would've done:

1.) Stayed in Austria and let my aunt adopt me, as I learned that she was considering it. I could have had a sexy German accent by now, probably be married to some spicy Spaniard as Spain is a couple countries away.

2.) Spent more time with my Oma, and told her I loved her more. She knows I loved her, but I could have thanked her more for teaching me about my Austrian heritage and wanting me to be in love.

4. Which sport do you consider to be "football?"

Soccer, half of my family is in Europe, and that's how they do it. Plus, soccer players are waaaaay hotter than the football players. Let those footballers clobber eachother senseless like neanderthals.

5. Do you like to travel?

Yes, me likey ! I am praying to Jesus that my friend decides to take that trip to Paris this summer after all. She simply has to ! I want to travel with a friend finally instead of alone. I am going to be that annoying little voice in her head until she is psychologically broken down and gets on a plane to France.

But if that proves to be useless, would any of you like to go with me ?

6. Do you like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain?

I rarely ever drink, and I hate being stuck in the rain. It's not sexy.

7. Surely you like cats, right?

I don't hate cats, but the only kitty I really care about is my Old Man's furball, Sweetums.

8. Beatles or Stones?

Brett Michaels

9. Which foreign languages can you speak (regardless of fluency)?

English, Spanish and German. I've taken a year of French in middle school, and I know how to greet people in Korean and Farsi. I can do a great impression of a Korean accent that drives people up the wall.

10. What special meal would you prepare for me?
I rarely am even home enough to cook for myself. If you ask nicely, I can learn to make whatever it is you like. (Leave the sexual innuendos out of this, Mac)

Friday, June 4, 2010


Hello There My Little Turtle Doves !

As you already know, in honor of the past Memorial Day, I've been mentioning veterans I know. The truth is (thankfully) I currently don't know any veterans that died in the line of duty so I just focused on the ones that are living.

Turns out I missed out on another veteran, Fireblossom. I didn't mean to, I just didn't know.

Women veterans rarely get the praise they deserve for serving our country. Not only do they now serve along with the men, but while they are in the service, they also have to be wives, mothers and keep their families together.

While I am here, I also want to acknowlege the military wives who rarely ever get recognized for taking care of our service men and raising their children. I can't imagine what it must feel like for them. They go through so much.

So hats off to you Fireblossom ! You all should check out her blog sometime. She writes poetry. Now I am normally not into poetry. But she has a way with words. Or shall I say, Shay has a way...........

Before I go, I need to send a special shout-out fuck you to the gray-haired pervert who slithered by my friend and I at our local Safeway last night while I was helping her pick out a medicinal vaginal creme.

Basically she's got something going on down south. Ladies, we've all been there. You know the feeling. Basically one day you wake up and something's not right. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe it.

Anyway, we were both crouched down at the medicinal aisle ................Why must Safeway put this shit at the very bottom so that it hurts your lower back to pick it up ? It's like a yeast infection isn't bad enough, now you've got to hurt your lower back in trying to pick it up. Not only did we have to bend over, but I am pretty sure  while we were bent over they wanted to give us the big stiffy with no lube by charging such high prices. But the good news is that the lube was a shelf or two above the cooter creams.

I guess it's Safeway's way of flipping us the bird and charging us for it.

So back to the story......... we were both crouched down reading boxes. I was holding two boxes side by side and explaining the difference. Those that know me know my voice carries. I was reading the boxes to her and using big words like "miconazole nitrate" and "ovule vs suppositories" and I thought the store was fairly empty.

But no, this silver-haired old bag walks by and looks at us a little too long and smirks. What the Hell ? I didn't know that Mac lived in my area and preyed on ladies with troubled vaginas. Most men usually breeze on by and pretend that they are deaf. Most men run at the possibility of a yeast infection. But this prize decided he wanted to enjoy the moment along with us. My poor friend was mortified.

When he walked by, I didn't do anything out of shock. But I almost asked him if he wanted to join us and give us some pointers for our cooters. Since he was kind of lurking, I figured he knew something we didn't and I wanted to hear it. I am kinda pissed at myself I didn't cause a scene and start asking him about vaginal infections. At that point, I didn't care about how embarrassing myself or my poor friend. Honestly, I still don't. I really missed out on a golden opportunity. If you are going to lurk like that I will make you own up to it.

Anyhoochie, that is all for now my loves.

Besitos !

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I Left One Out

Hello There My Little Motors,

I've been a little MIA for a couple of days. Last night I went to a Goo Goo dolls concert last minute. My friend is friends with a guy who mixes for the band and is touring with them. We got some really nice seats in the front area that we didn't have to pay for. We didn't get to meet the band since we had to leave early, but I felt lucky enough just being there. I love their song "Black Balloons", which they played. While they were playing the song, black balloons were tossed into the air. Great time all around.

Last week we had one of our attorneys visiting from our other out-of-state office. Apparently he told my boss that I was a character and he was amused by my office antics. I take it as a compliment.

In my last entry, I blogged about Memorial Day and gave some shout outs to our veterans, particularly those that I know or ones that read my blog. I left a guy out, and I feel bad. Especially since he is one of my most devoted readers. I simply didn't know he has veteran status, but now I do, so here we are.


Mac is a pervy, Harley-ridin', veteran. A real man for stepping up to the plate and serving our country.

I have to say, that Harley owners are cool. It could be because I am biased. My Old Man (dad) is a proud owner of a Harley and my dad is one colorful, twisted, dirty bird. His motto with me is " If I am not messing with your head, I don't feel right." My award-winning personality didn't just come into being from thin air. Oh, no, I've been swimming in a tainted gene pool.

Anyway, enough about me. More about Mac.

Wanna see a picture of him on his bike ? He doesn't know I have it.

Here ya go ladies ! Eat your hearts out...................

Nice guns, huh ?

Before I go, here is an ad that I think is appropriate for the recent holiday and the Harley theme of this post.