Friday, June 4, 2010


Hello There My Little Turtle Doves !

As you already know, in honor of the past Memorial Day, I've been mentioning veterans I know. The truth is (thankfully) I currently don't know any veterans that died in the line of duty so I just focused on the ones that are living.

Turns out I missed out on another veteran, Fireblossom. I didn't mean to, I just didn't know.

Women veterans rarely get the praise they deserve for serving our country. Not only do they now serve along with the men, but while they are in the service, they also have to be wives, mothers and keep their families together.

While I am here, I also want to acknowlege the military wives who rarely ever get recognized for taking care of our service men and raising their children. I can't imagine what it must feel like for them. They go through so much.

So hats off to you Fireblossom ! You all should check out her blog sometime. She writes poetry. Now I am normally not into poetry. But she has a way with words. Or shall I say, Shay has a way...........

Before I go, I need to send a special shout-out fuck you to the gray-haired pervert who slithered by my friend and I at our local Safeway last night while I was helping her pick out a medicinal vaginal creme.

Basically she's got something going on down south. Ladies, we've all been there. You know the feeling. Basically one day you wake up and something's not right. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe it.

Anyway, we were both crouched down at the medicinal aisle ................Why must Safeway put this shit at the very bottom so that it hurts your lower back to pick it up ? It's like a yeast infection isn't bad enough, now you've got to hurt your lower back in trying to pick it up. Not only did we have to bend over, but I am pretty sure  while we were bent over they wanted to give us the big stiffy with no lube by charging such high prices. But the good news is that the lube was a shelf or two above the cooter creams.

I guess it's Safeway's way of flipping us the bird and charging us for it.

So back to the story......... we were both crouched down reading boxes. I was holding two boxes side by side and explaining the difference. Those that know me know my voice carries. I was reading the boxes to her and using big words like "miconazole nitrate" and "ovule vs suppositories" and I thought the store was fairly empty.

But no, this silver-haired old bag walks by and looks at us a little too long and smirks. What the Hell ? I didn't know that Mac lived in my area and preyed on ladies with troubled vaginas. Most men usually breeze on by and pretend that they are deaf. Most men run at the possibility of a yeast infection. But this prize decided he wanted to enjoy the moment along with us. My poor friend was mortified.

When he walked by, I didn't do anything out of shock. But I almost asked him if he wanted to join us and give us some pointers for our cooters. Since he was kind of lurking, I figured he knew something we didn't and I wanted to hear it. I am kinda pissed at myself I didn't cause a scene and start asking him about vaginal infections. At that point, I didn't care about how embarrassing myself or my poor friend. Honestly, I still don't. I really missed out on a golden opportunity. If you are going to lurk like that I will make you own up to it.

Anyhoochie, that is all for now my loves.

Besitos !


Fireblossom said...

Aw, aintchoo just too sweet by half, Senorita. Thank you. It always makes me happy when someone who isn't a poetry fan generally says she likes mine. I'm really pleased you liked my little short story, too! But just for the record, I am NOT 84, lol! My character was 84, not me. I've got a few decades before i get that far.

Unless of course, I die of a yeast infection. The first time I had one, I had to ask a friend wtf to do about it, so bless you for helping out.

Oh man, I SO wish you would have embarassed that guy right down into the ground. What a fuktard. And by the way, it could not have been Mac. He told me was over at Jordana Brewster's that night, up on a ladder, trying to see in the window. ;-)

Pesto Sauce said...

Some guys ARE like that

Ophilia said...

And if you say"Take a picture! It'll last longer." Now-a-days, they pull out their cell phone and take one! PERVERTS

KrippledWarrior said...

You should have followed him around and bugged him.
I understand the Big Voice thing.
Thanks for your service Fireblossom.

Sweet-Britches said...

Oh gosh. He was a creeper!!!

I hope he never finds me in a store. I'd glare at him until he feels The Shame.

Riot Kitty said...

Hats off to Fireblossom indeed! And fuck off to that pervert.

Big Mark 243 said...

That old guy was creepy... but in an asholian way. Some people are like that, and deserve a kick in the butt!

I wanted to than YOU for going out of your way to honor the Veterans who have served. The two in my family that served in Korea and the 'Nam came back and my lil' trip to Panama was not enough action to really be mentioned... but I did have to grab my gear and go!!

Anywho... and I am serious about this... you get a yeast infection from someone going down on you..? Is it caused by ginivitis..?

Red Shoes said...

Hmm... its always possible that he is just a dumbass, you know... LOL

I swear to God... I NEVER know what you are going to post next!!! :oD


Ily said...

Fireblossom is amazing, isn't she? She does it all!

As for the perv and the vaginal creams...the whole story is hilarious! You should take your camera with you more often, Chica! lol

Best of luck to your friend!

LiLu said...


I SO wish you had said something!

mac said...

Fireblossom is right, I was at Jordana's house that night. She know's because she was holding the ladder for me ;-)

Fireblossom does have a way with words. I think she can read my mind sometimes...i she weren't so much more eloquent than I could ever be :)

We all know what "my friend had a vag infection means", right?
It's OK, it'll clear up, hopefully.

Senorita said...

Mark and Mac,

LOL, I knew that someone would hint that I was really the one with the yeast infection and thus hiding behind "my friend."

But I took took that risk anyway and blogged about it.

If it were really me who had the infection, I don't think I would've come up here and talked about it.

One of the things I do not blog about is my vagina. But apparently it's okay for me to blog about my friend's vag.

And in the spirit of disclosure, my friend did give me permission to write about this, without me mentioning her identity of course.

MsH said...

So glad you did not say anything to the pervert! You never know nowadays, economy is tough, people are on edge and could turn violent - always bad idea!

Meet Chloe's other brother today as we were leaving the park at 8pm where from 2pm we were at. It was like a baby convention and of course frosting all over the mouth on first birthday. I feel crippled from volleyball with all the swelling and bruises.

;-) figured out the mommy signature

Wait until I blog about my adventure at the recycling place, great fun - shattered glass, drunk - I think homeless people but they have a better watch than I ever had. Great times.

ps I will get you the pics at least by Mon - tomorrow 3 hours of walking neighborhoods for measure J and another bday party at a park - whooo yhoo

Anonymous said...

Actually there was really a friend and I was glad to have Senorita there as decipering all that stuff is extremely confusing!!!

Fireblossom said...

Lmfao @ Mac. Shut UP, I was never there, I was home making doilies. And I got a splinter off your crappyazz ladder!

dadshouse said...

You should have totally given that old guy some sarcastic shit. How creepy! If I see women picking stuff out - even hair color - I tiptoe past and get out of there asap.