Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What the Eff is Wrong With People ????

Hello There My Little Rose Buds,

So, I realize that it's been a while since I've done a "manslation". I call it a "manslation" for now since this blog is small and I don't make money off of what I write, but some other guy I think trademarked the term, so I will probably have to come up with a new name in the future if he finds me and asks me to cease and desist.

Maybe I can say that I can "helate" like relate, but from a man's point of view.

Anyway, I was perusing Craigslist personals M4W for more blog fodder, and I came across this gem.
Look, I understand that a lot of men have Asian fetishes, especially where I live. It's all good, there is someone for everyone and I think you're entitled to whatever preferences you may have. What I don't agree with is making a joke out of it. Stop calling them pearls or lilies or delicate flowers or porcelain china. So overused, especially on Craigslist. We're not living in the 1970s anymore and we don't live in a war film. With a huge Asian community here in the SF Bay Area, you think people would know better.

Anywho,  ad from the douche du jour below. As usual, my "manslations" are in blue..........

asian flower to grow with white lily - 57

Date: 2010-06-16, 8:28PM PDT
in garden of sunshine and beauty I grew up in the Free Love Era-must be healthy with no bugs notice I didn't mention whether I'm clean  -can be any age flower My petals are falling off, I can't be choosy -lily stands 6ft in sunshine-please send photo of flower in full blossem- spread eagled possible growing of little flowers together to make full garden of flowers I don't know what the fuck I just said, wanna drop acid so my petals can mingle with your petals ?
And BONUS ! Another one !

Date: 2010-06-14, 11:04PM
I don't like to brag but I have to play this game a little here right? I'm a good looking white guy I expect Asian women to fawn all over me just because I'm, white, tall muscular body and lately very attracted to Asian women Lately I've been watching a lot of porn. Maybe my tastes changed from the typica blondes out there. But the thing is I am a man's man type men hit on me all the time. I'm a firefighter insert lame big hose joke here, strong and rugged looking I don't shave or bathe often. Seems many Asian women prefer a computer programmer with pale skin I'm just jealous that those computer programmers are getting laid. Are there any Asian women out there that like a real man's man type of guy? Just broke up with my white gf of nearly 4 years I didn't just break up with her, I've been posting this same old ad for at least a year. White girlfriend is such old news. Also, I'm just afraid Asian women are too conservative for my 'wild' side. I don't think anyone could live up to the porn I've been spanking it to. But maybe I'm wrong? I'm not crazy just a little freaky in the bedroom and open minded.

Maybe you are like me?

If you like attractive caucasian men then let's at least talk and see where it goes.
Ladies...........Holla back !!!! You know you can't turn him down !!
Senorita is out ! Gonna go and try and get better for tomorrow ! Being sick is taking a hit on my social life.
Ciao y besitos !


Mike from Adelaide said...

Maybe hou could be a histerpreter making histerpretations.

Anonymous said... know senorita, am learning some stuff..though it's hilarious... but really, all these men want is SEXXXXXXX!!! Not serious relationships!..why don't they visit BROTHELS to satisfy their fantasy than wasting the time of 'RESPONSIBLE & DECENT gals who wants a man they would call their own?..

mac said...

Maybe you should file quickly, I doubt that guy has a copyright.

You're doing a public service anyway ;-)

Fireblossom said...

These are frigging hilarious. I thought the disoriented over-ripe hippie was funny, but the porn-addicted fireman was even funnier.

Actually, though, he isn't quite exactly a fireman. He lives next door to the firehouse, and is a firebug. Just to be clear.

Bossy Betty said...

Still sick! I hope you feel better soon!

MindyMom said...

Seriously? Craiglist is some crazy shit.

Riot Kitty said...

LMAO once again! You hit it right on the head ;)

KrippledWarrior said...

You make me Laugh Out Loud! But I'm too much of an elitist to write the short-hand.

Danielle said...

How would you like to be the ex GF of 4 years of that last guy and come across that. She lucked out that they are ex's.

LL Cool Joe said...

Bloody hell, what a catch those 2 must be. NOT!

I was trying to find a big hose joke. Joke I said, I have no problem finding a big hose..

Maybe I should write one of these ads.

Loving Annie said...

I am less and less concerned about being single. What creeps there are out there! Ugh.
Craigslist definitely gets the losers and liars!

Ily said...

LMAO - you may be a little under the weather but you still got it! I'm with Mac...file quickly, Chica! This is your specialty.

Charlene said...

Nitty is right. Rent it. It is faster and they will pretend to like you. I really think it is a better economic decision for these guys. They rent an hour and go home. Next month when they are ready to have sex again [cough cough] they can go rent another hour!

BTW. On all those daytime judge shows, 90% the disputes start with the phrase "I was looking on Cragslist and…"

dadshouse said...

Haha - these guys are so specific, it cracks me up. And your manslations are hilarious.

Mama Zen said...

Oh, if only I were Asian!

Red Shoes said...

Maybe you ought to start writing it this way... Manslations ©... and make him think you have already trade marked it...

He's probably a bastard anyway... :o)

... and trolls Craigs List...