Sunday, March 20, 2011

How Many Pervs Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb ?

What's Up My Little Tulips ?

So as you know, I live in the SF Bay Area, and the weather has been sucking hard lately. Last night, I saw some guy go through the trash across the street to take the trash bag can to use as a raincoat. And the weather will continue to blow huge whale ass like this for at least another week. No likey :(

So anywhooters, I've been doing some cleaning around the house and assembling a lamp for my room.

It's been a while since I've assembled a lamp, so I must've forgotten how dirty it can be......

Allow me to elaborate. Here are a couple of the steps from the instructions.......

-- Screw the lower tube onto the threaded nipple of the base.
-- Screw socket onto upper tube

And remember........ when it gets dirty, don't use polish, wipe it clean with a soft cloth or rag !

If you will excuse me, I have to finish screwing in the light bulb.

Tootles !

Friday, March 18, 2011

TMI Tuesday on a Friday !

What's Up My Little Chocolate Chips ?

So I have a survey that I snaked from a fellow reader. It's a little TMI, but whateves.........

Feel free to snatch it from me, after all, it wasn't mine to begin with !

TMI Tuesday questions

1. How old are you?


2. What’s your favorite color? I like blue, but no rainbow is complete without yellow

3. First car you ever had sex in? Sorry, I refuse to answer this question because my father reads this blog.

4. Favorite rated R movie? Jackass, all of them

5. Favorite flavor of Popsicle? Lime or orange

6. Banana or apple? Apple

7. Favorite Jersey shore character? Snookie or Pauly D

8. Are your nails painted and if so what color? They are painted a shiny teal.

9. Favorite animal? Currently my friend's dog, who I've been spoiling lately

10. If you could bang a Disney character who would it be? Probably Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid.

11. What time is bed time? Usually too late for my own good.

12. Do you have kids? No, I can barely remember to water my roommate's plants.

13. Last time you bought a toilet brush? Last week

15. Bubble bath or long hot shower? Long hot shower.

16. Can you speak a foreign language? Spanish and German

17. Describe yourself in 2 words? Bullshit Detector

18. How many tattoos do you have if any? None, I could never imagine myself with a butterfly trampstamp that turned into a teradactyl with old age.

19. How do you like your eggs? Poached

20. How do you get rid of a hickey… I've never had to cover one up, but what else is coverup for !

21. Favorite color to wear.  Black, it makes my ass look smaller.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Jury Duty and Smut

Hello There My Little Peeps,

How are you doing loves ?

I am gonna keep this short because I need to get to bed, but I wanna let you know that despite my strong desire to be a recluse, I have been reading some of your blogs. Please forgive me for being such a lousy blog friend. I fully intend to make my rounds soon.

Okay, so enough ass kissing, let me fill you in on the latest................

1.) Doing taxes blows. It really sucks huge whale ass and dinosaur dong. And to add insult to injury, I am getting waaaay less in my refund than last year. Uncle Sam is really bending me over without even a kiss after. :(

2.) What else........ Ah yes, today I went to pick up my mail from my old roommate's house and I got two pieces of mail. Can you guess what I got ? Anyone ?

I got a notice for jury duty and smut. Pretty nice combo, huh ? I got my jury duty notice less than a year ago, and now I got another one.

Then I got smut in a red envelope. On the return address it had "X rated pictures" and some P.O. Box, and when I opened it up, there were cheap 8x10 black and white printouts of some nasty graphic shit. There was no 800 number to call, no advertisement, so to speak, so I wondered what the reason for that was. I swear, I thought my old roommate played a prank on me so I left him with the pictures. We both did have a laugh because the people in those pics looked like the chicks in Girls Gone Wild but 30 years and 50 pounds later.

Fun times, I tell you. And now I must go to bed.

Besitos !