Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 -- A Review

Hello My Little Turtle Doves...........

Happy New Years !

2010 was definitely not dull.......

Here are some things I did or that happened to me in 2010 the year I will have to kiss good bye tonite................

-- I moved
-- I joined a new gym and enrolled in bootcamp class
-- I made a new years resolution to work out continuously and kept it all year long
-- My thighs no longer rub together when I walk.
-- I got hired in my field after busting my ass volunteering for 3 years for no pay and facing two years of continuous rejection. And I got hired in a difficult sector to get into, by a boss that wants me to learn everything slowly.
-- I made two new girlfriends, I met one last year, but she came back into my life this year
-- I got back into bellydance after a few years of what I felt like was an artistic block
-- I went skydiving
-- I saw my favorite comedian and danced with my bellydance idol.
-- I took a wine tour in Napa
-- Went to Lake Tahoe
-- Traveled to Paris and Amsterdam
-- I went to Paris alone and fell in love with the city. It's such a cliche but I fell in love with Paris and it truly is full of romance. I left a little luggage lock on the bridge to symbolize my love for it. I took the key with me. I met my French BFF. I talked to people on the streets, I ate wonderful food, I just let myself enjoy the experience. And I truly lived.
-- Traveled to Amsterdam and met my Amsterdam BFF. What started out as a trip from hell leaving me feeling defeated, ended up as a wonderful ending. I was really greatful for the kindness strangers showed me.
-- I finally wore my prized dress to our firm's party this year. After years of no holiday parties, I finally got to go to one. I also got my first bonus.


Who knows what 2011 will bring................

But I will keep it simple and make a few resolutions.....

-Devote myself to bellydance again. Join a troupe and start performing again.
- I want to wear my two-piece on a French beach
- I want to see my friend's new apartment in Amsterdam
- I want to stop being so addicted to the Internet
- I want to get on a sleep schedule

And the rest is still unwritten. My wants are modest, I just want to be happy and live a fulfulled life with lots of love, happiness, friendships and laughter. And that all became clearer to me after I turned 30 last month.

So goodbye 2010, thanks for your kindness and sense of humor.

Hello to 2011, I am coming to you with an open heart and mind...................

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Senorita's Seven

What's Up Kittens ?

Meow !

So,  I am just gonna tell you what's going on in my world in a little list, and then I will have to expand upon it next post. Here goes........

1.) My grandparents are renewing their vows in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't miss that for the world. The marriage they have is something I could only hope for and something they have always wanted for me. I will be such a teary mess that day and I look forward to it. If you don't already know, I love my grandparents so much.

2.) I am going to wear a ring that I inherited from my Oma.( Austrian grandma) to that ceremony, My mom's parents never got to attend the wedding when my folks married, and I know my Oma would have loved my Grandma. Basically the ring I will be wearing is a smoky topaz (topaz is my birthstone) and my Opa saved up and bought it for my Oma. When my Oma passed, my mom and aunt decided it should go to me. They were the loves of eachothers' lives. And I will be wearing that to my other grandparents vow renewal ceremony. My Oma was always optimistic about love.

3.) My blog is turning 7 tomorrow. I can't believe I've been writing nonstop for 7 years. I started when I just turned 23 and this blog has been there for me when I graduated from college, lived abroad, struggled to find out what I wanted to do, when I went back to school, graduated again, and finally got hired in my field.

4.) I have made some wonderful new friends this year that I am so thankful for. I made two wonderful girlfriends, and I have always wanted more female friends in my life. And I made them at a point in my life where I finally understood what it means to be a great friend in return.

5.) 2011 is the year I will start devoting myself to dance again. I have had what feels like an artistic block for the past four years and I don't want to feel hindered any longer. This will be the year that I get back into a troupe and performing more.

6.) I was real happy that I was able to see my dad, brother and grandparents this year for Xmas. I was happy that my brother got to ride with me, so I didn't have to make the trip alone.

7.) Ever since I turned 30, I feel like life is passing me by and if I don't wake up and make it exciting, it will pass me by. Even though I have done a lot of things, I still feel like I am missing out on so much.

Seven is a lucky number, so I will just leave it at that for now. I will have to come back and blog on my blogiversary (sp?) tomorrow.

Besitos my loves !

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boob Apron-- Dream Robber for Men

What's Up my Buttery Muffins ?

Aloha, Bitches !

So I had a wonderful Xmas with my family. Got to see my dad, brother and grandparents. It was a lovely dinner, and nothing like having the grandparents all to ourselves. Also had a lovely breakfast with my dad.

I had this elaborate post in my head about how thankful I am for the wonderful things that happened this year, I was going to review my goals for 2010 and how I accomplished them, and then set new ones for 2011. But you know what ?

Fuck it, I don't feel like it right now. That will just have to wait because I feel like showing you this instead. I laughed my ass off watching this. You know where I got this from ? Yep, my dad.

Enjoy.............

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Shit my Old Man says..............

Bonsoir my little fluffy marshmallows !

What's Up ? Miss Me ?

I have been stopping by less and less because I just haven't had anything interesting to say lately. I have an assload of shit going on right now between my full-time job, my part time job and the fact that I am moving. Not to mention that my plans keep getting postponed or broken. I can't even make definite plans for one day. How am I supposed to plan things out a month from now ?

I am reaallllly looking forward to visiting my dad, grandparents and brother for Xmas. Road trip time, bitches !!!!

What else ? Oh yes, let's talk about my dad...... You know why I love my Old Man ? Because he will intelligently articulate what he has to say whilst calmly inserting vulgarity and profanity. Now tell me that isn't talent !

My dad also made an interesting observation about religion.

"Religion is like a penis. I know you have one, I know you are proud of it and dying to tell me all about it. But please don't whip it out and shove it down my throat !"

Anywhooters, that is all for now. I hope you all have a safe Christmas and New Years.

Besitos !!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Back for a min..............

So What's Up My Little Frosted Flakes ?

Miss me ?

Sorry, been so out of touch for a while. It's just that sooooooo much is going on right now and blogging has kind of taken a back seat.

Did I tell you that I am moving again ? So I have to look for a new place. I have been at this current place for a year now. I need to be out by February, and everything is up in the air. I am not finding anything that I am happy with, but I still have another month.

I had my company holiday party last weekend. I should post a couple of pictures up here. For those of you fellow bloggy whores on Facebook, I posted a couple of shots there. My boss arranged for a shuttle to take us up to a winery in Napa. The sunset on the busride to San Francisco was absolutely stunning. The sun was setting with clouds in the background, and you could see the sillouhettes of the SF buildings it was gorgeous.

Dinner was fabulous, and the wine was flowing. I took my friend Ashleigh as my date, and a good time was had by all. I won a $25 gift card to Macy's. I will use it to buy my favorite perfume at the Estee Lauder counter.

Other than that, the weather here in California blows huge whale ass and 2011 is right around the corner. All I know is that I really, REALLY would like to take another vacation.

That is all for now my little sweet treats, I will be sure to stop by your bloggies soon.

Love, hugs and kisses !

-- Senorita

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Out of the cave and back onto the internetz............

Hello There My Little Egg Nog Lattes !

So what's up ? Miss me ?

Just a little warning in advance, I may take this blog private for a couple of weeks, so if you see that my blog is private, it will only be temporary. Long story short, I got interviewed for an article in a newspaper, and my other two blogs will remain public, but not this one. I don't want my boss to somehow end up here.

Sorry I've been MIA. I have just felt uninspired to write lately. Since I last posted, I celebrated Thanksgiving with my family and my 30th bday on November 30th. I am very thankful that I got to see my grandparents again, and I will be going up to see them for Christmas hopefully.

I drove up to see my family with my brother. He kinda lives in the 'hood so when I pulled up to his place and waited for him, I saw a thuggish looking guy hop over the fence behind the construction outhouse, into his brokedown car from the eighties with rims and him and his homies pulled right up next to me to hit on me. The sped up and real fast and pulled up next to me (I thought they were gonna shoot me the way they were driving and looking at me) and asked me if I had a boyfriend. when one of the guys smiled at me, he had no teeth. The car smelled like it was burning, and they guys smelled like weed, cigarettes and booze.

Driving up with my brother was interesting because he had to pee, and I mistakenly passed the last gas station for a while. So looking for a spot on the side of the road for him to piss was pretty interesting. He kept singing songs of how he had to pee, and sang "The Hills Are Alive" from the sound of music, except that the hills were alive with the stream from his pee pee. He managed to crack me up.

A couple of other interesting things happened during that trip....... My uncle sat in a pile of cat hair on my dad's bed and I helped him vacum his pants. It was awkward, but it would have been worse watching him try and use it on himself.

Also on the way back, we almost got into a carcrash because it was raining and my tire hit some oil or something. I tried to brake, but realized that my car wasn't going to stop and I swerved into the next lane. Somehow by the grace of God, there was no one in that lane next to us, especially since the highway was crowded. Luckily I didn't freak out and slam on the breaks, I somehow calmly let the car swerve and brought it back into the lane. I don't know how we got through that, but we did and I am so thankful we make it back safely.

My birthday was a nice one. I had dinner with my coworkers and then after work, my friends took me out. I hope that 30 will be kinder to me. And over the weekend my friend took me to the hookah lounge two blocks from my house to go for a hookah smoke. It was a lot of fun. The flavor we smoked was called "after sex" and it was real interesting telling our server what we order. Kinda got a wink out of him. But you know what ? That flavor was delicious.

Did you know that my blog will be turning 7 by the end of the month ?

Time to log off for now. I will be reading your bloggies and commenting............

Besitos !

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Spanksgiving !

Hello There My Little Buttered Biscuits !

Did I tell you that I had Pillsbury biscuits over the weekend ? Sooooo bad for you, but so bad in an oh so good sort of way. I even dipped them in frosting. Wow! You know where else you can get orgasm worthy biscuits from ? Red Lobster ! I should know because I used to work there for four years and I never grew tired of them. But be careful, because good biscuits can give you a fatter ass, and while bigger cushion can be good for the better pushin', mac truck asses are NOT in.

So what's up ? I hope that you all are enjoying the holiday. I know that I intend to.

Every year I like to think of the things that I am thankful for. I plan on visiting my grandparents, dad, aunts, uncles and cousins. I pray for a safe trip of course, but upon the safe trip, I will be most thankful to see them again.

I cherish every time I get to see my grandparents again, especially since they are the glue that bonds our family together during the holiday season. Grandparents are special.

What else am I thankful for?

-The fact that at least at the moment I am healthy
-That I made some new, wonderful friends this year and maintained my other friendships
-That at the moment I still have a job
-That for the first time in my career I got a bonus, and my boss let us out early today.

So with that said, let's just hope that the above stays the same for a while.

Anywhoosies, Happy Thanksgiving !

Monday, November 22, 2010

Awardy-ward Whore


What's Up My Little LOLCats ?

How was your weekend ?

Mine was decent. I worked, but I also got to sleep in. Did I also tell how badly the weather here in CA sucked ? Probably why I stayed indoors all weekend.

Anywhoosies, enough chitchat time to get down to business !

Jenni nominated me for the bloggy award above. In order to participate correctly I have to do three things.

1.) Thank the person that gave it to me. Thanks Jenni !

2.) Tell everyone 7 things about me that you probably don't know. Seriously ? I think you all pretty much know everything there is to know about moi.

3.) Nominate other people for the award.......


So.............. Here are the seven things that you may already know about me ( Since I've probably already told you everything).

1.) When I was in Paris I tried beef tartare. Raw beef with a raw egg on top with onions and pepper. I ate it with a glass of red wine. It was delicious. Sometimes I had it with french fries, and sometimes I had it with bread. You really have to eat it slowly, I couldn't imagine wolfing down raw meat.

2.) I had a very unusual upbringing that has really left a lot of psychological damage. I wish I could write about it and share my experiences, but most people don't understand it and instead I end up looking like the crazy one. So, I don't write anything ( I did but I took it all down). It is easier to just move on and pretend it never happened.

3.) I rarely ever donate money to causes. I believe in volunteer work and I will gladly volunteer my time, but I don't donate money and have no problem walking past someone at a booth. I have volunteered with good agencies out there and know they exist, and many agencies may have funding, but lack volunteers. Hey, we can't all throw money around.
4.) I am thankful for what I have in my life right now and that's when people become happy; when they are happy with what they have and realize they are blessed. Life is never a guarantee.
5.) My favorite TV shows are:  All of the Real Housewives series, Law and Order SVU, Jersey Shore, Desperate Housewives, and Brett Michaels Life as I know it.

6.) I am open-minded to tarot card readings, psychics, past life regressions, but none if it has ever really worked on me, although I still believe others when they tell me their experiences. I can't get hypnotized and the biggest predictions I had going for me this year haven't happened and the end of the year is too short for it to manifest. Maybe it's better that I find things out unexpectedy. I am open to that too.

7.) I am about to turn thirty, and I certainly feel like I am not in my twenties anymore. I have done a lot of reflecting and I have definitely had some growing up to do. I hope that my thirties are full of blessings.


So Now............... Time to select 7 of you little furballs to be survey whores. Sorry, I am way too lazy to link your blogs to your mentioned names, so please don't take it personally, and just shut up and do the Goddamn survey okay ???

Thx.......

Anywhooters here goes................

1.) My one and only Mama Cita Ashleigh, the snarkiest chica with the bestest lines ever when we hang out together. She is my bloggy friend and my friend in real life.

2.) H. That is his name, H. A ripped Dutch guy who is the biggest pervo out there. I would be shocked if he took this survey since it's not sexual, but with him, it could be. Let's see what he comes up with.

3.) My friend Shoesies aka Red Shoes ! I love professors with a sense of humor. I was lucky to have a few in my college career. Shoesies is a perv too !

4.) Mac, the Atheist Perv............................

5.) Riot Kitty. Meow !

6.) Joey at Joey's Pad.

7.) Lulu !

Have fun kittens ! Meow !

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Yes, I am nasty, and it runs in the family

Hello There my Little Buttered Muffins !

So what's up ? How is your week ?

Guess what ? I turn the Dirty 30 at the end of this month. OMG, I hope it's fabulous that's all I have to say ! My twenties have been a mix of ups and downs, a LOT has happened, and I hope that life will be kinder in the next decade.

Some people have asked me about my sign. I am not a scorpio. I am a sassy sagitarrius ! I was due Nov 20th, so I was due in the scorpio timeframe, but I was born a sag. I love my sign and am true to it 100%. I love to travel, I am a bad liar, I always put my foot in my mouth but hate hurting others' feelings and I have to know the truth even if it kills me.

Although, part of the scorpio is with me. I don't hold grudges too often, but when I do decide to fight, I can hold a Scorpio grudge like the best of them. But that is rare.

Anywhooters, enough talking about me because I want to post something nasty. I've been looking at my past postings, and I thought " My Lord, I am a twisted girl "!

And today is no different, my little buttery treats. And you should know that I am not the only dirty bird in my family.

Take this for example......... My brother posted this on his Facebook. I laughed my fucking ass off ! If you find people saying "cocksucker" over and over hilarious, then this is for you. But the ending is the best ! A happy ending in my book !




Ooh, and before I go, here is something my dad forwarded to me. He rarely ever gets speechless, but this did it for him. This was found on the Smoking Gun. I laughed my ass off so hard, I couldn't fucking believe this shit even happened !

NOVEMBER 16--The West Virginia woman who last month pulled a knife on two men and announced, “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat,” pleaded guilty today to assault and was sentenced to 90 days in jail.







During an appearance this morning in Jackson County Magistrate Court, Melissa Lee Williams, 41, also received a 90-day suspended sentence and was ordered to pay $185.80 in court costs, according to a plea form. Williams, pictured in the mug shot at left, is currently in custody at the South Central Regional Jail.






Williams was arrested last month following a bizarre incident at the 77 Motor Inn, where she was living at the time. According to an October 22 Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report--excerpted here--Williams waved a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct (one of the men was Danny Williams, her estranged husband).






Deputies reported that Williams, who was living four doors down from Danny Williams, showed up at his residence and asked him and another man to “eat my pussy.” While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request,” according to Deputy Ross Mellinger.






However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” As a result, Watson “declined to proceed any further.”






At this point, Melissa Williams “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then uttered a line that has since ricocheted across the Internet: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”






When Deputy Mellinger arrived at the motor inn, he discovered Williams “nude from the waist down and sitting in a living room chair.” He also noted that “all subjects appeared to be intoxicated and smelled badly of an alcoholic beverage.” (3 pages)



This is the woman with the nasty pootang ! Would you want to get near her bits ? I didn't think so !

Well my loves, I would love to stick around and chat more about cocksuckers and nasty pussy, but I do have to get to the gym.

Besitos !

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Insulting People is Delicious !

So What's Up My Little Chocolate Chips ?

How are ya ?

My week was busy, but I did go out with my Mama Cita Ashleigh on Wednesday and we had a bitch fest. We ate fried food, dessert, and I had a nice pomogranate mojito with mint and sugar. I don't really care for pomogranate, but it was good in that drink !

Anywhooters, enough chitchat because I want to talk about insulting people...............

So as you know, "twat waffle" is my favorite insult to hurl at someone. For instance, when I am behind the wheel and some ass clown drives waaay to slow, or cuts me off, I like to honk my horn and call that person a twat waffle.

So I was discussing this with a coworker and he concluded that in order to be creative with insults you take a sexual or taboo organ and pair that with a dessert or pastry. And to make it really stick, use the derogatory form of the organ.

Hence....... twat waffle.

While practicing this together, we came up with "taint twinkie."

Ooh........... how about ass clown ?

Just kidding, that was to see if you were paying attention..............

Some other delicious insults I've heard.............

Cunt muffin
nipple cake
fruit cake

Now you try, and please feel free to share with the class.

Besitos !

Sunday, November 7, 2010

About a week late................

Hello There My Little French Hens...............

So how are ya ?

You have a nice weekend ? Mine was decent, even though this weather today effed with my mood. I am a sunshine person !

So as you know, the elections here in the US were last week. So many issues to choose from. Democrat or Republican ? Economy... health care......global warming...... the list goes on.......

But I think men can all agree on one thing. Whether you are a Manocrat or a Manpublican, come together and unite for the Fellatio Movement. I've posted this before, and I will post it again.............

Monday, November 1, 2010

Meow !!!



Whassup My Bitches ?

Miss me ? Sorry I've been away for about a week. The truth is, I just had no energy to write. 

:(

Forgive me please ?

Guess what ? Tomorrow is Erection Day. Oh my bad, ELECTION day. Voting can be so hard.......

Anywhore, How was your Halloween ? I had a blast. I went to a party with my friend above. She makes a hot witch doesn't she ?  Before then I hadn't gone to a Halloween Party in 5 years. It was nice to dress up and go out. I have better pictures on Facebook. I can't post them here because I don't post pics of people without their prior knowledge.

At the party there was a live band and I danced a lot. It was awesome. I saw one dude just waltz in as a fairy A manly looking dude with a beer in one hand and dressed like a girly fairy with green wings. While he was dancing, I did a "grab and dash." It's a move that I had to take out of my war chest and dust off since it's been a while.

Basically my loves, while he was dancing with his back turned to me, I grabbed his ass kinda hard. I got a big chunk of his fairy ass in my hand for about a second before I turned around and disappeared back into the crowd. I did a very good job because by the time he turned around I was busy dancing and he looked at my friend. She tried to convince him it wasn't her but I don't think he believed her. Can you blame me for trying to get a little pixie dust for myself ?

What else........................

Other than that I've been busy with work. Did I tell you that we now have a new tenant in our hall ? Like we needed more people to share oxygen with.

I mean, I already hate sharing the bathroom with the bitches on my floor. Not only do they kind of ignore me, but they stink up the bathroom AND they like to gather themselves in there and talk.

 I hate talking in the bathroom. I don't understand why a lot of women feel the need to have chats in there.  But these beezies like to stand around, straighten their hair (the smell of burning hair is not appealing) and talk about God knows what.  The only reason I don't know what they are talking about is because they are speaking another language. I wouldn't care so much, but we all know they speak English really well, yet when they see me they immediately switch into Japanese, as if I am going to hold it in longer just so I can stand there and listen to them. No thanks, I would rather drop the kids off if you know what I mean.

So yeah........... sorry, got off track for a second.

Our newest tenants are mainly men. Not just any men. Neanderthals.

Last week I caught one of them picking his nose. Really digging for gold. While he was waiting for the elevator, he was kind of facing my reception desk, which I was sitting behind. Now I know I am short, so maybe he didn't think I was sitting behind the computer working. But c'mon, if you are gonna give yourself a fucking lobotomy Total Recall style, the least you can do is take two seconds to scan your environment.

So anyway, he was facing the elevator, but turned towards my direction to pick his nose, thinking I wasn't there. So he makes a swirling motion with his index finger, like he was looking for gold and scratching a bad itch at the same time.

I just sat there, still not believing what I was witnessing. In the middle of his dig-fest, he looks up at me, while his finger was still in his nose. Yeah, we definitely had a moment. A very awkward one. He immediately turned around and got the eff of our floor. Aaaaawwww.... wonder if he'll come back.

I thought an incident like that was just a one-time thing. Oh no...... The next day a guy burped real loud while waiting for the elevator. He was short, so he had a lot of power packed in there.

I shudder to think what may be next................ Ball adjustments ? Ass scratching ? Farting ? Wedgie picking ? Oh the possibilities......................

But don't you worry my little kittens, you can be sure I will tell you all about it.

Okay, so I will be making my way around your bloggies in the next couple of days. Gotta go watch trash TV.

Besitos !

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I can finally post it !



Hi My Little Turtle Doves !

I am posting my dance vid through facebook. My profile is private, but this video is public. But only for a while. I will make it private in a week or two.

My stage name is Amira, it's not my real name.
Enjoy !

Friday, October 22, 2010

I Was Happier Without It

Hello My Little Kittens !

How was your week ?

As you know I got a Facebook. I broke down because my friend in Amsterdam convinced me to get one, he was the one that pushed me over the edge so to speak. Also, my Mama Cita has been asking me for a while now.

I found a lot of people that I haven't seen for a while. But the best thing that happened to me was that I found a distant cousin from Russia who my Aunt told me about. Nice guy and he has a lot of memories with my grandfather that I want to hear about.

I also found my other half (girl I used to work with at Red Lobster with my name) and we can catch up now. She up and moved to Vegas 8 years ago and has done well for herself.

What else....................... I have gotten to see you, my readers and learn your names. It is always nice to put names to the faces and personalities. When you blog, it's just you, but it's nice to learn about your families and what your day-to-day life is like. And write dirty messages on your walls.

Did I tell you I reconnected with a few dancers I used to dance with ? Us bellydancers, you know who we are, we love to post our photos of us in motion.

While Facebook has helped me connect, I am still not completely comfortable with it. For starters, it is addicting. I have this blog, and adding Facebook to the mix is exhausting especially when I work fulltime and have a parttime job. I would rather blog. Here, we take the time to write longer entries instead of posts, we put more energy into this and into getting to know other bloggers. Not so much on Facebook.

The internet really makes you disposable. I write people that have asked me to join Facebook or have asked me to friend them and they don't write back. I talked to an old classmate in the same field and professional circles as me and wrote him detailed messages on who he can contact to apply for legal positions since he is looking for a job and he just decided not to write back.
And I know the people above have been on Facebook because they continue to post on their walls. Otherwise I would give them the benefit of the doubt.

Before Facebook, I just communicated with friends over the phone or by e-mail and it was fabulous. My summer social calendar was full. I went dancing, worked out, went to peoples' houses and all without Facebook. I traveled to Europe and met wonderful people that don't even have a profile on FB.The people that really mattered were in my life because we made efforts to stay in contact and it was a joint effort. And if that means I only interact with a handful of people vs hundreds of "friends" then I am okay with that.

I think I am giving myself another week or two, a month tops. Besides, most of my family up there don't even check their profiles that often. They are busy traveling, caring for newborns, or taking care of family. I am going to get the proper contact info of people I've reconnected with and bolt.

This blog is a better idea. People that really care visit this blog. I've given this address out a LOT, 90% of those people never make it over here. And I would prefer that to being ignored on Facebook.

Sorry my little furballs, just had to vent. I will dish out the snark and sarcasm another time.

Besitos !

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Nifty Fifty Minus a Few

So What's Up My Little Cookies ?

So as you know I joined Facebook a couple of days ago. I find that I can't say what I really feel like because people like my Grandma and my really Christian aunt might see it.

Anywhooters, it's survey time, bitches !! There were supposed to be 50 questions, but I deleted a good chunk out because well, I thought they were lame.

Here goes.....

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

Wow, my waist looks a little smaller.


2. How much cash do you have on you?

I'm overdrawn at the moment, so I actually have a negative amount. I have I-O-Fucking U written all over me.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?


WHORE ! Did you really think I was going to pass that up?

4. Favorite planet?

Reality

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

I feel you by Depeche Mode

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Shirt I wore to work.

8. Do you label yourself?

No, but if I had one, it would say "Made in the USA"

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?

Shapeups by Sketchers

11. Did you do anything to celebrate John Lennon's 70th yesterday?

No, but I noticed Yoko Ono and Lady Gaga have become BFFs. What a hot trainwreck mess.


13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Was checking out Facebook


16. What’s a word that you say a lot?


"twatwaffle" because I am immature and it makes me laugh.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

My grandma and my dad

18. Last furry thing you touched?

Your mom's chest hair.


19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

Xanaflex (not to be confused with Xanax) and Celebrex.



21. Favorite age you have been so far?


25 was a very adventurous year and my metabolism hadn't slown down yet.


25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

I've already skydived, give me a million dollars, baby !

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

Sleeping in my dorm room.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?

If no one else is around, I hit and kick the machine.


35. Do you consider yourself kind?


Yes, I am actually a nice person, just as long as you don't ask me what I am really thinking.


36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?


I don't like tattoos but if I did, it would probably be on one of my asscheeks. No tramp stamp for me.


37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

If I got to learn a new language it would be French.


38. Would you move for the person you loved?

Mai, Oui !


39. Are you touchy feely?
No


40. What’s your life motto?

I don't really have one, I just like to get out there and live life without making excuses as to why things can't be done.


41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?

Keys, Cell, Chapstick

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

My dance lesson

45. Can you change the oil on a car?


No, that's what men are for ! Now shut up, get under the hood of my car and change that oil ! And don't talk back ! ::Raises Hand::


47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?

I recently traced back my great-great grandparents on my dad's side in the Canadian Census.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?

My wrists, my jaw, my head. Damn TMJ !!!

Okay, so I am not going to tag anyone, feel free to snake this from me and do it yourselves.

Time for me to log off and watch trash TV. I need to unwind. Today kinda sucked balls, and I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Besitos !

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Wanna be my Friend ?

Hello There My Little Profiles !

I did something I've said that I wouldn't ever do for the past 3 years, and I joined Facebook ! My friend in Amsterdam convinced me to do it, and I gave in.

I would love to be friends with you all. My e-mail address is Wallstreetsmart at aol dot com.
Besitos !

Love,

Senorita

And four more for the survey whore !

What's Up My Little Buttercups ?

So, happy weekend to you all ! I have a lot of catching up to do on your bloggies, please be patient as I will get around to them. This week has been a 7 day workweek for me and I am kind of exhausted. But I do get a day off next week.

I am really trying to pay off that vacation. But in the midst of that, my car broke down, my favorite bellydance instructor came out for a workshop that I just had to take AND there was huge sale at Kohls. Oh and did I mention that my car insurance is due and they are withdrawing automatically from my checking account?

:(

I think that I should be fine though. At least my credit card bill isn't increasing............

What else...... Yes, I got to practice dance this weekend. I totally needed it, and it was a good workout. Plus I talked to my FBFF in Paris (French BFF) and he promised to send me a birthday card soon, as I did the same for him as his birthday is sooner than mine. I also talked to my friend in Amsterdam. He is from the SF Bay so I mailed him his favorite burrito sauce. I just hope he gets it. It took a lot just to get my fat ass to the post office to mail it. The lady at the post office was definitely amused, I hope it doesn't get lost.

Okay, so enough chatter, Joey did a survey, and you know me, I am a huge survery whore so here I am. I have to go to work in a few minutes and I am too lazy to tag any of you, so those of you that are survey sluts like me, bring it bitches !!!!

Here goes.......


4 Things in my handbag........
1.) Keys
2.) Cellphone
3.) Chapstick
4.) Wallet

4 Things In/On my Desk
I am assuming this is at work so here goes...........

1.) Stacks of papers to be filed
2.) Oatmeal and raisins
3.) Files
4.) Lotion


4 Favourite Things in my Bedroom:

1.) My Shoe rack with shoes
2.) Laptop
3.) Bellydance outfits and sword
4.) Picture of my grandparents
BONUS: My bed ! A girl's gotta sleep and I've been tired lately.

4 Things I've always wanted to do (But haven't yet):

1.) Travel to Egypt for the Nile Festival and take bellydance workshops with the best !
2.) Travel the world with someone special. I have done it alone, but would like to create memories with someone abroad,
3.) Write a book
4.) Have my own place, live by myself.


4 Things I Enjoy very much at the Moment:


1.) Blogging
2.) Bellydance, practicing and going to festivals
3.) Eating cake and cupcakes
4.) Spending time with my familys

4 Songs I Can't get Outta my Head

1.) Only girl in the world by Rihanna
2.) I Like It by Enrique Iglesias
3.) Hey Baby by Pitbull
4.) Loca by Shakira



4 Things you don't know about me:


I think you already know everything................. But let's try......

1.) Politcally I am in the middle, I can't find a candidate that believes in what I do on most things so voting is quite a task for me. I am very liberal in some areas, quite conservative in others. I despise political correctness, even though I am politcally correct in a professional setting.

2.) I have quite the potty mouth, but I am really all bark and no bite. I may spew a lot of innuendo, but I rarely, if ever actually act on it. I am very shy around men.

3.) I am naturally a brunette, I was blond for a few years in college, but now my hair temporarily has deep red highlights.

4.) I love being American, I love living here in California (and always get homesick when away), but I would love to live in another country. I wish I could take a job somewhere internationally, or move with a significant other to his country. I don't want to be rooted in one place for the rest of my life. I guess that is the Sag in me, we love our freedom and we love to wander !

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today was my lucky day !

What's Up My Little Furballs ?

So today it was hotter than Satan's asscrack outside. OMG ! While I was driving back to work from my lunchbreak, my car stalled at the traffic light. Now this has been happening for the past few months, and I would just start my car again. Not today.......... Today my car would not start and I was left in the middle lane. Even though I had my hazard lights on, the douchelords behind me honked at me. I rolled down my window and told them I couldn't start so they would lay off me.

I could not just move my car to the side because there was no room, and I was not going to try and cross the large intersection all by myself pushing my car. So I got out of the car with my phone in my hand and called my insurance company to come and tow the car and so people could clearly see I wasn't sitting on my thumbs.

I was hoping the first few guys behind me would stop to help me push, but they didn't. One guy told me there was a gas station ahead and to just push it there, but that was a big intersection to cross alone and I did not want to chance it. How did he think I could do that alone ? He could see I was visibly upset and scared. Whatever, I just thanked him and got back on the phone.

Luckily another guy saw me, parked his car ahead and ran up to help me. He pushed my car into a  U-turn while I steered and got me to a safer area. I was really thankful he helped me. A couple of minutes later I was able to start my car. (Oh the irony) I took it to the mechanic and got it fixed. Now I don't have to worry about stalling in traffic anymore, thank God ! That is such a relief !!

What else...............

Oh........ my coworker bought some labels from a medical supply store just for shits and giggles. The sticker reads : "For rectal use only". He found our other coworker's protein shakes and proceeded to stick them above the little metal foil opening. It was priceless. While he was doing that, I was standing outside the kitchen, making sure that no would disturb him.

And today I would have been there to witness the other dude drinking his proteinshakes with the rectal labels, but I was busy getting stalled by the intersection. But when I returned I heard that he was truly perplexed and thought that someone in the factory put it there. I thought he would've figured out it was just a joke, but he said that the stickers looked so legit that he was actually confused and brought them to my boss to have a look. Priceless !

Well my loves, that is all for now. Time to go watch trash TV and think about getting some sleep.

Besitos !

The Skinny, The Shimmy

What's Up My Little Love Muffins ?

So what else is new with you all ?

Been busy in my neck of the woods. Been working a lot lately. Trying to pay the credit card bills from my vacation.

I took a workshop over the past weekend with my bellydance idol Tito Seif which you can find a picture of us on my sidebar. It was over three hours of dancing with a cane, and I went barefoot, so my feet got blistered. But I did not care because I love Tito ! Then I took a private lesson with him for an hour on Tuesday. I've always wanted to dance next to him and I finally got to do it. I was ready to travel all the way to Egypt to take his workshop, but luckily I didn't have to since he came here.

 While he dances, he smiles and sings and his energy is contagious, and that's what it's all about, this is why I dance. He makes me fall in love with the dance. I don't know Tito outside of dance, and after his workshops, I don't think much about him, but while we dance, I feel I like I am in love, like I know what love is. His English is limited, but he was able to tell me to smile, to move my hips more and said "your hips, very good !". It wasn't about choreography, or counts. I freaking hate dancing to counts ! I like to just follow and move.

Dancing with him may have been crossed off on my bucket list, but I still would like to go to Egypt and meet other authentic Egyptian dancers. My first bellydance teacher was from Egypt as well. She may have been crazy, but she make performers out of us and introduced us to all types of bellydance. Bellydance with a sword, with candles, with a veil, with drums, with zills............... most dancers only teach you one thing. She threw it all at us.

You already know I suffer from anxiety and depression. I took meds once and didn't like it. I've tried a lot of different activities, but the only thing that has consistently helped me through it is bellydance. It helps me process my emotions, and it helps me heal because dance is a way of interpreting my feelings and I can let them out and no one has to know what I am feeling. I have danced off and on for the past 8 years and my world has always been brighter when dance was a part of it. I struggled the most when I wasn't dancing. It doesn't matter if I work out hard and sweat it out at the gym, if I am not bellydancing, I still don't feel complete.

Anyway, time for bed !

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Red Light District

So What's Up My Little Voyeurs ?

Time to talk about the Red Light District ! Le Porkstar aka Porkalicious and I paid for a Red Light District Tour and boy what that a lot of fun. We took the English tour even though we could have taken it in Spanish (because Le Porkstar is Brown). But I just decided to just stick with the English tour because I wanted to be sure to understand all of the sexual terms and didn't want to lose anything in translation, so Porky compromised and went with me and told me to translate this "Vamos a mirar tu mama trabajando"!

Our tour guide was Australian, and had quite the sense of humor. He gave us a history of Amsterdam and how the Red Light district came to be and walked us by the windows with the working girls and showed us some of the sex shops. Stores where you could buy things cheaply and in bulk. He asked us if we needed to stock up on any buttplugs or lube. Such a nice guy !

The streets are narrow and we did see a guy in his SUV scrape the side of his car. There was a crowd of us and we witnessed it all, and he definitely sped off after that. Turns out the damage wasn't that bad.

But the highlight of our tour was when we were in front of a DVD display. There is something for everyone in Amsterdam. Any fetish you may have, they cater to that and displayed the selection of DVDs behind glass. So while our guide was standing in front of the window with DVDs advertising a variety of fetishes, some old perverted bastard old man with gray stubble and a joint in his right hand just saunters over to the window and stares at the glass because not only is he horny but he was probably baked out of his fucking mind. Our guide proceeded to say hello and asked what he was into and sarcastically asked if he liked the golden showers.

This old bastard cracked us all up because he didn't pay us any attention or even look at the guide, he just put both hands on the glass, leaving the joint in his right hand and then with his free left hand while looking at the DVDs, made fingerbanging motions with his fingers. We all lost it and we all laughed our asses off.

This guy was old and looked like he just didn't give a fuck or have a care in the world. And to him I say Bravo ! Because if you don't have much time left in the world, why not go out with sex and a joint ?


Here are some pictures of Moi very close to the Red Light District...........




This is a male oriented store, most likely a very gay one at that. I came to this conclusion because I saw a couple of gay bars around, but also, look at the guy. What straight man would ever pose like that in his right mind ? Even though he would probably never bark up my tree, I wanted to tell him that it's okay, we can still be friends................





Just look at that. This was at a waffle shop called Australia. We had been walking around looking for waffles. Mine was drenched in syrup with tons of whipped cream and ice cream. And because we were walking all day, I could afford to eat all those calories. Delish !

Gotta love the blatant sexual advertising. This would never fly in the US, and it's a flipping shame. If you look closely, you can see my face beween her tongue and the ice cream and I am staring at the ice cream.

Well loves, it is time for me to bounce for the evening. I still owe you pictures from Paris. I'm saving the best for last of course !

Besitos !

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Let's Fondle In The Park

Hello There My Little Picnics,

So it's picture time !

Le Porkstar and I have a favorite word in common: Fondle. It's like our code word. Don't ask, we're just pervs, and I think the word sounds funny.

So imagine how happy we were when we arrived in Vondel Park aka Fondle Park in Amsterdam. Seriously, I don't know what they were thinking when they named this park, supposedly it's named after someone. But their wierd names are our photo opportunity, right ?

People looked at us wierd, stradling the gate and each other and giggling like school children, but not a single fuck was given.......







And this isn't the last of the photos in my war chest.

Say, wouldn't you like to hear some stories of what happened in the Red Light District ?

Gots to go to the gym now.

Besitos !

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Let's Go Dutch, Shall We ?

Well Good Evening My Little Stroopwafels,

So what's up ?

I am gonna make fun of the Dutch now. I am not politically correct so if you are Dutch and I offend you (or if you feel the need to get your panties in a wad in general), feel free to just bite me okay ?

I am kidding, as a little disclaimer, let me just say that while I was in the Netherregions Netherlands, I was amazed by the hotness of the Dutch male species. They are tall, built, strong, and have nice features. I was gawking every chance that I could. Plus they tend to have deeper voices and their thick accents, me likey. OMG, need I say more ? Just goes to show that I like men manly, no metrosexual b.s. While I was in Paris, I thought that the men were handsome and impeccably dressed, and yeah I liked it, but in the Netherlands, my primal urges, biological desires or whatever the hell you want to called it kicked in.

Anyway, moving along.......enough nice talk about Holland.

Let's talk about their language okay ? Thank God the men are hot, because the language is not.

I don't speak Dutch, I speak German, and there are some similarities between the two. Neither is a beautiful language. For example, Tits in German literally translates to "breast warts" so you can get an idea of how unsexy the language is. But in my opinion, German is prettier than Dutch which says a lot.

In Holland you can bank with Rabo Bank. To me it sounds like Rob-A-Bank. With so many tourists and English practically their second language, why didn't they get a second opinion on this ?

I was also informed that in Portuguese "Rabo" translates to "ass". So hey, bend over cuz it's time to make a deposit and withdrawal okay ? I hope you have late hours, because I will be sliding my bank card often.

And my brown friend Le Porkstar told me that in certain Latin countries "rabo" translates to "cock". Oh really ? So hey, now you have a choice right ? Ass or cock....... A bank where there is something for everyone. Would it be too greedy to ask for both ?

While I was at the theater and glancing at the subtitles, I saw the word "donker" a lot. My friend couldn't find his Dutch dictionary so I was left to keep on wondering what it meant. I sounded like "ba donk a donk"  which reminded me of ass. So now I just want to tell people that piss me off to just shove it in their donker !

When I got back, I looked up the word and learned it means "dark" or "darkness" so hey, I guess I wasn't too far off, as it is a place where the sun don't shine.

I also learned a few basics in Dutch, like "hello" and "thank you very much". "Dank u wel" means thank you. But you know what ? IMHO the Dutch weren't that hospitable during my stay, so I modified that and put a personal touch on it for them.

Fuck u wel ! And I said it fast and with a smile !

I am kidding, I never uttered such a thing, I was always polite, but I did have a couple of rude encounters (the canal tour guy singled me out), but I chalk that up to their city being overrun with tourists 24/7.

And to him I said.  "You can take your attitude and shove it up your donker ! Fuck u wel ! (No I didn't)

Okay, enough for now my little caramel cookies........

Besitos !

Monday, October 4, 2010

Do You Shave Your Sex ?

Whassup my bitches ?


After yesterday's post, I bet you thought I was gonna get all deep or philosophical on you again....... NOT !

While I was in Paris I made a FBFF (French Best Friend Forever)

We were discussing the French and if they like to go bare or au natural...............

He said "You mean do we shave our sex ?" in all of his French accent glory.

It was like I offended him or something.................. "No..... zis is crazy, I would never shave my sex !"

Apparently in French you would say "to shave sex your sex organs" or something like that, but whatever my friend was saying, something was obviously lost in translation.

I take it the French are a little more natural shall I say. But my FBFF kept rambling about how he would never shave his sex and how could people shave their sex ? Why would they want to ? No, no, no, ! zis iz crazeee to shave zee sex !

The more he kept rambling about shaving the sex, the more I lost it and I could not stop laughing. While he was in shock from me talking about shaving zee sex, he was also perplexed as to why I was curled up in a ball and LMFAO on the floor. I had tears, and OMFG, I had to explain to him that sex in English is an action, and you can't shave an action.

Anywhooters, I owe you pics, and I just need to dig out my camera.

French kisses my loves !

Saturday, October 2, 2010

I Thought I Saw Her

Hello Loves,

This entry will be brief.

As you know, my Oma (grandma on my mother's side) passed away on August 31, 2006. I remembered every year until this year. That day this year, I completely forgot. I couldn't believe it. What was interesting, was that I was thinking about her, and remembering the funeral, but when August 31st came and went this year, I didn't remember that it was the day she passed away. I don't know if I should feel guilty or not. Those who know me know that I loved her very much. My mother did not raise me to speak German, but my Oma stepped in and made sure I knew my Austrian heritage, and through her and my aunt, I learned German and learned about Austrian culture. For that I am very greatful.

On the way back to San Francisco, as I was checking in my baggage at the airport in Amsterdam, I thought that I saw her. There was a woman sort of to the side where I couldn't see her face that looked exactly as how I remembered my grandma. Same figure (she had a distinct figure), same hair, same overcoat, same pants, it was really something because I remember my grandma wearing the same coat she was wearing. Also, did I mention that the last memory I have of my Oma is saying goodbye to me at the airport when she dropped me off before I flew back to the US a year before she died ?

It just caught me off gaurd and I froze for a second. Of course when I looked at the woman's face, she looked nothing like my Oma, but it was like I saw my Oma all over again and I almost wanted to go up and tap the lady's shoulder. It was wierd.

This isn't the first time it has happened to me. I have seen her in my dreams before, and usually when this happens to me, it's a happy event, and I am not sad nor do I feel like I really miss her. I just know that she isn't here and that she's happier wherever she is. And that is fine by me. I already said goodbye to her and she had a beautiful funeral with Mozart music and a lot of flowers surrounded by the Austrian mountains and fresh air. Best of all, she is resting in peace next to my grandfather, the love of her life.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

More Trip Talk

Well Hello There My Little Belgian Chocolates,

I slept like a baby last night, and I will go to bed soon after downing some Nyquil. I will be sure to have coffee tomorrow to battle the jetlag.

I got my hair cut and dyed again today. My stylist gave me some hot bedroom hair. RAWR !

Anyway, more talking about my trip.............................

I met a couple of people that I plan on keeping in contact with. One in Paris, one in Amsterdam, and one from the plane to Amsterdam. While I was waiting at the Paris Airport to go to Amsterdam, I met a nice woman and her husband. Her husband was causing quite the scene and complaining about how the airport staff was incompetent and how he wanted to go back to the states. It was embarrassing and there I was behind them with my American passport in hand, and I hoped that I wouldn't receive bad treatment after that.

When we were on the shuttle to the plane, she turned to me and introduced herself and found out that our mothers are both from the same town in Austria and that we both have American fathers. It was quite a coincidence and she gave me her card and told me to write back.

Its always amazing who you can meet and talk to while you are traveling, even if you don't stay in communication.

While I was at the hostel we met a variety of different people. For the most part people were to themselves, and I am sure I was too, but it was always nice when someone came up to me and wanted to talk about their travels.

Before I sign off, I wanted to talk about the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam, as it was one of the first things that I visited in Amsterdam.

In middle school I started reading The Diary of Anne Frank and loved it. As a young girl, I felt that I could identify with her. Since then I had always wanted to visit her hiding place. I finally did it last week. While I liked it, I was still a little disappointed.

While reading her diary, she would describe the view of the chestnut tree outside. I wanted to see the view of the street and of the tree in the area behind the house, and that wasn't possible because the museum covered up all of the windows and it was impossible to see the outside world, the same view Anne Frank had years ago while she was in hiding. But they did have artifacts there such as letters, Annes diaries, and other things that belonged to the Franks. I am guessing they had to keep the light out so that the items on display woudn't get ruined form the sun.

Also, the rooms have no furniture, as that is what Otto Frank wanted when the museum opened. This is because after the Franks were arrested, everything was cleared out by the Nazis, so he wanted to leave the rooms empty.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the museum, but it felt more like an art gallery than a hiding place. Everything was remodeled and painted over a million times. Remodeling is necessary, but as you keep remodeling and are tearing down parts of the old, you are taking that spirit of the place with you.

At the end of the museum, there was a gathering place where you could vote on issues. The TV screen presented several things happening in the recent news, and we had to vote on whether the right decision was made. For example,  in one of the issues, head scarves were banned in a public school and then we as the audience had to vote and decide if the best decision was made. It definitely got people coming together and talking about issues.

So that is all for now.

Besitos my loves !

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Out of the Netherregions and back to your regions

Hello There My Little Wooden Clogs,

So guess what ? Mistress Senorita is back bitches !! I will promptly make my way around your bloggies. No more excuses, it's not like I'm out flirting with any French men or posing suggestively next to statues. I do have pics of that, would you like to see ?

I am back home in Cali, and I have been up since 7am this morning in Amsterdam (8 hours ahead of California), so the whole plane ride was sunny and I did not sleep. I am waiting for the exhaustion to hit me.

I can not tell you how thrilled I am to be alone in my own room on my bed in my shorts, and you know why I am in my shorts ? It's fucking hot outside. I came from the cloudy, cold, rainy Netherlands into the bright, sunny, hotter than Satan's asscrack hot weather, and I love it ! I was absolutely thrilled to look outside the airport window and see sunshine.

The weather in Holland got me sick, so I will be sure to drink a lot of Nyquil. I have the day off tomorrow, so I have a lot of errands to do before I go back to work.

I have so much to write about, but my last day in Amsterdam was spent going to the movies at the Tuschinski theater watching Wallstreet: Money Never Sleeps. That movie totally rocked, I thought that the first one couldn't be matched, but Michael Douglas did an excellent job, and there were a few surprises that I won't give away. Luckily the movie was in it's original version of English with subtitles in Dutch. Before the film I did get to sit through Dutch movie previews and advertisements. I bought some Stroopwaffeln as souvenirs, but oopsies, I had a couple during the film

My flight was fairly uneventful, Thank God ! Well, except for dealing with my baggage. I was lucky to not be sat next to the screaming children. The airline had a wide selection of films, and I watched the foreign films, one was Dutch and one was in Italian. I just decided, oh hey, this looks interesting, let's give it a watch. Turns out they both had long, graphic sex scenes, and I was seated in the middle with another woman on each side of me. I know that they had to catch a glimps of what I was watching. The directors in these films seemed to to great lengths to show a lot of T&A.

So anywhooters my babies, that is all for now. Time for me to chill out and watch things I've missed out on for the past couple of weeks like Jersey Shore and the Real Housewives.

Besitos !

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Last Day in Amsterdamp

Hello There My Little Tulips,

So what's up ? Today is my last day, I am leaving tomorrow back home. Today I am taking it easy as I am starting to feel sick. My friend is on a bus tour to Belgium, and I was going to go, but I decided to opt out for a couple of reasons: I am not feeling well, the ride is about 4 hours each way (in rainy weather) and I would rather save my money, oh and also the tour ends at midnight, and I don't want anything getting in the way of me going to the airport tomorrow morning.

So I am chilling out at the hostel at the moment using my internet time up. I am supposed to go to a movie later.

1.) I did rent a bike the other day and we went on a bike ride around Amsterdam and a little into the Amstel region. Beautiful houses and boats along the river and it's country living with a view of the city life. Very nice, and we saw an old windmill.

2.) We did go through the red light district and took a tour. Our tour guide was hilarious. But they definitely go out of the way to say that all of the women there are doing their job voluntarily and not forced aka trafficked in from poorer countries. I don't quite believe that ( I think a good percentage are trafficked), and neither does the Dutch government because they are trying to reduce the size of the Red Light District and buy out the window owners. I would be all for what is going on in the RLD otherwise. Being that our American govt is quite restrictive, I do believe that there should be areas of sin like Amsterdam and thank God Americans have Vegas. But I don't condone the violence that takes place and that is being hidden from tourists. Our tour guide was informative, but in a touristic sort of manner where it was obvious certain bits of information were being hidden.

3.) We met a couple of people from our hostel and walked around the city and ate junk food at different places. A few in  our group tried the coffeeshops, but me and the other guy in our group did not. I don't like tobacco or marijuana, and there is no point in trying to like it now, especially since it's illegal in the states and I have a profession I am serious about.

4.) I saw the Van Gogh museum and liked it a lot. The musem did a great job in giving a history of his work, his sources of inspiration and his life. I loved his style even though the man was insane. His paintings are full of life, and inspiration, especially his art from Paris, and especially after spending time in Montmarte, where he spent some of his time.

Of course I have done more, but I am going have to write about that later. Did I tell you how happy I am to go home ? The weather here in the Netherregions is not friendly, and I am tired of the hostel environment. Don't get me wrong. This hostel, Stayokay has been great. I've seen the other rathole-fleabag hostel our friend spent the night in, and I feel greatful that this one has been decent. But still, I miss having my own room. I have been in a mixed dorm because my friend is a dude, and I was not fond of other dudes walking around in their boxers and taking race-horse style pisses in our shared bathroom. Luckily they were nice though and not drunkards or smoking weed in the room which was the case in the first hostel I went to.

Of course, I am also not going to lie and say that I am not happy that this leg of the tour is coming to an end. The trip really was off to a rotten start and I have still not forgotten. I may have made the best of my trip and managed to enjoy myself while I was here, but being stranded in that airport left a bad feeling that I can't seem to shake off. I would love to come back here and see more of the Netherlands and experience Dutch culture more, but under different circumstances, more finances, and no hostels. Just means that I have to work harder, get a promotion and save more money.

Have any of you heard about the book Undutchables ? I am going to buy that when I get home.

Okay, time to log off for now. Besitos !

Love, hugs, clogs and tulips !

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Travel Reflections

So what's up my little rose petals ?

Miss me ? My internet connection has been very sparse here, and I've been trying to get out and enjoy the Netherregions.... I mean Netherlands, so I have been a bad blog friend. But when I get back I will be sure to read your bloggies and tell you all how wonderful you are and leave witty and sarcastic remarks.

The Netherregions are so wet and unpredictable.

My trip is coming to an end soon, and I went through a lot during this trip. I really don't feel like I am living until I am out traveling, meeting people, making mistakes and getting my plans ruined. (There was a huge strike the day I left Paris, half of the transportation was shut down, traffic was crowded and 40% of the flights were cancelled)

Some things I did...................

I couch surfed in Paris (avoided paying any lodging costs) This needs a separate blog entry and I could go on and on about this one. But I did stay in beautiful apartments for free.

I am staying at a hostel in Amsterdam. This also requires a separate post. Luckily this hostel is decent, but still, it is an experience. Thank God I have shower shoes, and praise Jesus I had the good sense to bring a towel.

I made friends in each country. I met the nicest guy ever in the legal field in Paris and he is now my FBFF (French Best Friend Forever). Then I met a guy from my area in California who is moving to Amsterdam. Through these guys I feel that I was able to get an insight into French and Dutch cultures.

I visited the Eiffel Tower and met a guy while we were snapping our cameras and we ended up touring the city together. So if you see me posing questionably with statues, it was because he was there to snap the pictures.

I took suggestive pictures with statues, signs and advertisements, something I always love to do in a foreign country.

I ate a lot of French food. I tried Beef Tartare ( raw ground beef with a raw egg on top) and I loved it with a glass of red wine. I would never eat this on my own in the US and I don't usually enjoy red wine.

I have had some unmentionable experiences that I won't mention because some are super freaking embarrassing, some are outright awkward and the rest are private.

By the time my vacation is over, I will have used up all of my vacation time for this year, and I will have to wait until next year for the next destination.

Anywhooters, off to think about sleeping.

Besitos !

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Amsterdam

So whats up? Pls excuse my typos as Im on an a little Apple notebook.

My first day here was so hard and everything went wrong. While I was at the hostel feeling defeated I Was sitting next to a guy who ended up realliy looking out for me. He is from my area in california and is in the process of living here.

This guy calmed me down, took me out to eat since I hadn,t eaten all day, let me use his email and phone, helped me sort out my hostel info and walked me to my hostel and up to my room knowing I was anxious about my first night here befrore he went back to his hostel. He came back the next morning and kept me company until my friend came from the airport.

I also had a lof of support from people on COuchsurfing offering me a last minute place to stay. It was so nice to feel that people cared.

Since then I went to the ANne Frank House and bikeriding all day along the canals and little town outside AMsterdam.

Okay, gots to go.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Total Turnaround

Hello All,

So Paris was wonderful. No complaints. Total hospitality from people I stayed with and I was blessed with beautiful weather.

I am in Amsterdam. My friend was supposed to meet me. Didn't show, I was left wandering around for a few hours like an idiot trying to find him. Turns out his flight is tomorrow, and we even discussed this.

I broke my bank just to get in contact with him and I got an answering machine.

He reserved a hostel for us before the trip, but I decided to stay at a hotel outside Amsterdam which now I realize was a mistake. I just wanted a quiet place to sleep alone, and I didn't want to sleep in a hostel alone. The lady at the airport failed to mention how far it is.

I am going to try and contact the airline to go home early, I just don't have the money to keep tossing around like this. Paying extra to get out of here will be worth it for me. I miss home, I miss being in control.

I will try to see the Anne Frank museum before I leave though.

Sorry, but I am really upset and hurt right now. I planned my trip out to a tee to Paris, and for Amsterdam I placed my trust in someone else thinking my back would be covered and now I am a complete sitting duck and I have learned my lesson the hard way. I usually don't end up this defenseless.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Paris Day 4

Hello Loves,

So I am still in Paris, and I have been a bad blog friend. I promise that when I get back home I will catch up on your blogs.

I finally slept yesteday and got in 11 hours. It felt so good ! My host took me around Montmarte and we walked to Sacre Couer.

I have also been to the Eiffel Tower and watched it light up and sparkle at mignight.

I have so much more to do. But so far I have enjoyed walking around this romantic city.

There is a bridge here by the Seine River called  Pont des Arts near the Notre Dame Cathedral where lovers leave their locks and write their names on it and throw the key into the river. I thought it was so romantic but apparently the French govt doesnºt think so. In May of this year, they took them all down. But this is September and people continue to leave their locks and hearts in Paris.

While I was looking at the fence on a beautiful Friday evening a couple of things happened to me. First, a Russian woman by herself asked me to take her picture. I took her picture and we went our separate ways. But like me, she was by herself and it´s always interesting how many people from around the world come to Paris to either be with their sweeties, or at least hope it rubs off on them. She and I were both alone and I felt like we had something in common.

 Then I was approached by two men totally hitting on me and asking me to join them for a drink. Nice guys a little cute even, but they told me they were Parisian and for some reason I didn´t believe them. I donºt go anywhere by myself with more than one man. I also was waiting for my host to take me to eat. After they left, an old woman came up to me and started talking to me. She was looking at the locks and we spoke in my awful broken French. She wanted to know where I was from, how old I was, and if I was going to leave a lock. She had been living in Paris for over 54 years. I always love talking to older folks aka walking historians. She was so nice, and then my host came and interrupted me and I had to leave. As I left, she was there looking at the locks and smiling at me as I waved back.

I am not in love, but I did leave a lock, as I had an extra on that day. I still have that key, I didnºt throw it into the river like people sometimes do. I donºt mind leaving my heart in Paris.

Before I came to Paris I thought the city was a walking cliche. Although the city may be dirty and maybe the French arent so warm and open, but Paris is really romantic. People kissing everywhere, holding hands, enjoying dinner, holding hands and strolling in the park. It was really is nice.

Three more days left here, and then off to the Netherregions........ I mean Netherlands.

Kisses from Paris !

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Paris Adventures

Hello There My Little Croissants,

This will be a relatively short post. I have been having a lot of adventures here in Paris, some good, some bad, some unexpected.

So far other than walking around Paris at night ( the Louvre is amazing by night) I have been to the Eiffel Tower and Sacre Cour. At the Eiffel Tower I met a guy from Scotland and we ended up touring the the city together, taking pictures (perverted pictures with naked statues included) and talking about out travel experiences.

I stayed with a French host for the first two nights, and now I am with my host from Portugal.

Time to log off and see the city with my host.

Ciao my little breakfasts !

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Made It to Paris

Hello There My Little Chocolates,

So I am in Paris, in an internet cafe. I am not out seeing sites because I am forced to haul my luggage around town until I meet my host. Our firm here is busy with clients right now so I can't say hi or ask them to hold my luggage for a couple of hours.

My flight was fine. I flew Air France. Nice flight staff, and since I know many of you male readers have a thing for hot French women, I know that you wouldn't have been disappointed. The things I didn't like about the flight was using the bathroom in that plane, somebody kept farting in my row and it was frequent and totally ninja style. I would be sleeping and BAM ! it just snuck up on me. Oh, that and the food. Their dinner and breakfast was totally disgusting. I thought food on Delta sucked ass. I was wrong.

The guy next to me was cool though. I sat next to a guy from Sweden who I ended up talking to for most of the flight about anything from politics in our countries to our jobs to his family and kids. He helped me learn how to use the remote on our TV and he was kind enough to wake me up for dinner and breakfast. I thought it was really kind of him. I always like it when I end up having a nice conversation with the person next to me. I am so happy I wasn't stuck next to some screaming baby.

I did get accosted by some guy I am willing to bet is a gypsy at the train station. He saw me reading a sign and asked me for 50 cents. I looked at him, said no and walked away. He started saying "that's right...........ruuunnnnn.....runnnn little girl ! with him rolling his r's. Totally lame.I almost told him to fuck off, but I am in a foreign country and I really don't want trouble.

The lines for the train to the metro and the metro to the city were insane ! The luggage consignment was all full and I was very close to the cutoff line.

Basically lines are everywhere so if I can deal with that I should be fine.

Okay, time to go get something to eat.

Besitos !

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bad, Bad Blogger !

Hello My Little Roses,

So this is it for a while, I am busy as hell right now, just trying to get things in order at work and things at home packed for my trip. I am sorry, but I have and will be a bad bloggy friend for a while.

I leave on Wed, and will be back by the end of the month. I don't know how much access I will have, as I tend to be pretty old-school while traveling. There is no way that I am hauling a laptop around, just so I can worry about it getting stolen. In fact, I tend to travel like a pauper, and I am also covering all my guide books so I don't stand out like a sore thumb. I don't want the beggars and thieves to instantly spot me.

I don't know if I will have a phone, or how much internet access I will have. I hope as little as possible. Because that means if I am not on the internet or phone, I am out seeing sites, and that is what this trip is all about.

I just hope for a safe trip where I meet a lot of people. My firm has an office in Paris so I look forward to meeting my Parisian colleagues and bringing them American candy and crossword puzzles. I brought blow pops (minds out of the gutters) and jollyranchers. I don't like hard candy, so this is a no-brainer. If I were to bring chocolate, it would all be gone by the end of my flight.

And then after Paris, I am looking forward to meeting my global BFF Sergie in Amsterdam. One of the first things I want to do is visit Vondelpark aka "Fondle Park" and take pictures of my groping him under the park sign. I read that it is actually legal to bang the living shit out of someone make love in that park, but that it's illegal to let your dog off a leash. Hahahaha ! Gotta love the Dutch ! But there are stipulations...... apparently you can't smush next to the actual playground area, or during broad daylight. You would have to do it at night. I mean, now that I think about it, that's actually kinda creepy. But nothing different than what you would find in the San Francisco parks. It's just that here it's technically illegal.

Okay, that is all for now !

Love, hugs, French Kisses and NO Dutch ovens !

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Tired and sick..........

Hello My Little Chicks,

Okay, so this will be a short post.

Basically I am behind on your bloggies, and I have to pack.

But I am sick, and this really blows. I have the headache from hell, congestion, achy bones...... I am in bed all day today, because I have to work the two days before my trip. Because if I call in sick before my trip they will surely think I am full of shit and I don't want them to think they can't trust me. Also, I don't have any extra vacation days. I need the money.

Did I tell you I took a notary class all day yesterday? All day, and because I felt like shit and it was hard to sit still for hours, I am not sure I even passed the test. I will find out in a couple of weeks.

At least my friends brought me hot tea and medicine today. It's been such a long time since that has happened.

So that is all for now, I will try to stop by your bloggies soon if I don't get knocked out first.

Besitos !

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's getting closer.........................



So What's Up My Little Furballs ?

The above picture is not of an lolcat. It is of a trollcat. Big difference, because trollcats are supposed to be meaner and more unpolitically correct. I mean, how would you like someone or shall I say, something telling you that you're fat AND have a small dick ?

Moving along.................................

I am leaving in a week from today, and I am pretty much working all this weekend. I will be so effing tired. I am taking a notary class all day and I have a nice long test after. It may be long, but I hope it's not hard. Harder is not always better in every situation.

I have been slowly preparing for my trip, and I just hope that I am ready. I did take a French class a couple of months ago before I even thought I would be actually buying a plane ticket. I didn't study too hard because I was busy and I realized that I wasn't going to be close to being fluent anyway as we have very little French speakers in my area. The French will know that I am American anyway so I decided to just enjoy my French class for the experience and not stress out over blending in.

I haven't even planned a single thing in Amsterdam because I will be meeting up with my global BFF Sergio over there and we are looking forward to meeting up with others and seeing where the trip takes us. Except for the week I was in South Korea with family, I have never really had a travel companion. Sergie will be my first and supposedly he said I will be his first too, so we will be popping eachother's travel companion cherries overseas.

Other than that loves, I think that's it. I need a haircut to tame my wild tresses. I was hoping to do that before my trip, but I think I am better off saving my cash.

Anywhooters, that is all for now !

Love, hugs and French kisses !