Hello My Little Peacocks and Peahens............
I have a knack for making everything dirty, and if you give me a totally innocent phrase, I am sure I could make it skanky/slutty/dirty for you. I am just that resourceful.
I remember when I was in Barcelona working for a telemarketing firm. It was my only way to stay in the country and pay my bills in addition to the unstable private English lessons I gave.
You know, I did not get one solid lead. My boss at the time wanted me to get at least ten solid leads a day, but he made me call businesses out of the phone book, many of which did not even speak English. I would end up calling bakeries in Belgium and wood shops in Switzerland, many of which would laugh at me. So to get through the day I would just write fake leads, about ten of them, maybe a little less so I could make it look like I struggled, and hand them in. I would usually ask for names, and even though they would tell me they were not interested, I would send them the prospectus anyway. I never got one solid lead in the total eight months I was there, yet they kept me there. I don't know why, I do have big boobs though. But you know what ? I made enough money to live comfortably. Life was a hustle alone in a foreign country and I somehow made it without having to literally whore myself out. I just opted for phonewhoring financial opportunities instead.
Anyway, we had to pitch financial opportunities. For eight months, I was on the phone eight hours a day calling people all over Europe. It got really boring really fast.
I told my boss I was in the wrong business and that I should pitch sexy stocks instead, but he told me to shut up and get back on the fucking phone. He doesn't know what he missed out on. I could've been one of those chicks pitching sexy stocks while eating a bag of chips or filing my nails.
What if I changed my name to Eva and threw the following lines at you, would you be interested in investing ?:
"You have a very large portfolio"
"If you hire me, I intend to keep you abreast of what's going on in the market on a daily basis"
"I would love to help you enhance your portfolio through diversification. More is better"
"Perhaps we can chat over coffee to discuss if the stimulus package will benefit you."
"Currently, the value of your portfolio is down, but I can help you get it back up again."
"You seem busy, perhaps you would like to show me your portfolio in a more private setting ?" My office or yours ?"
"After talking about stocks, I would like it if we can move onto bondage, I mean....bonds."
Please give me your input. (No pun intended)
Love, chocolates and kisses,