Saturday, October 17, 2009

Changing The World One Tucks Pads Box At A Time

Hello My Little Secret Squirrels...................

So today I did a little shopping. I bought my prescription drugs as well as things I'll be needed like Efferdent for my night guard. Did I mention that I had to explain loudly to the man at Target what Efferdent was ? His English wasn't that good, but I finally found it. People were looking at me, but I didn't care.

Anyho, as I was waiting for my prescription to be filled, I saw this old man looking for Tucks pads. Except that he was almost blind and he needed help. Poor man, he asked these teenaged girls (the only girls in the aisle) to help him, but they weren't much of a help. He just needed help reading, but these little teenybopper bitches just kinda stared at him and I heard giggling. They didn't know how to respond, really. Another reason I am scared to breed, but I digress........

So I walked over and asked him what he was looking for so those teenyboppers could make their escape. I pointed out the items, and he said that his wife demands Tucks pads. Well, they were out and I offered Preparation H which I think is better anyway, and he said NO ! The wife wants Tucks ! And he wanted to know why he couldn't get Tucks pads and how did I know they weren't there. I explained as nicely as possible that because I can read, I can see that they are clearly out. But look ! Target has a brand which is cheaper, and carries just as much medicine in those pads as Tucks ! It even said on the box "Compare to Tucks" ! Voila !

Luckily that was good enough for him. He got what he needed, and I no longer had to stand around and have a loud conversation about hemorrhoid products. Besides, I needed to by denture cleaners !

His wife must not be better off, if she is sending her nearly blind husband to the store to make purchases.

I felt for that man. When I am in my eighties and my body has gone to shit, and I can barely see, I hope that a nice young man will help me locate my Depends.

7 comments:

PorkStar said...

If by then I have already re-encarnated into some young hot phallic being, I promise to help you carry them (fun bags), I mean, ointment products and stuff.

Mike said...

That was very nice of you.

Dorothy said...

OMG, that is so sad and I truly hope that if I get that way I have a lovely assisted living home which will take care of all my needs, however that was so sweet of you to attempt to help the older man.

Blessings...

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Kerrie said...

You have a good heart and luckily a good knowledge of hemorroids.
I hope someone like you will help me when I am eighty and I can't find the incontinence pads.

Scarlet said...

What comes around goes around; I bet you'll get a hot 20-something year old guy CHANGING your Depends when you're 80! Just wait. :)

G.G. said...

wow. First - LOVE your new blog belly dancing photo - you look way slimmer - guess all those ass-deflation techniques have paid off! Second - this title cracked me the hell UP! Nicely put! Third: You are such a decent human being.

Organic Meatbag said...

You earned your Angel wings this day :)