Friday, October 16, 2009

Open Man Letters.................

1.)

Dear MALE coworker,

Yes, I was cranky this afternoon at work. Mainly because I saw some beautiful, chewy,chunky chocolate-chip cookies in the cafe that I just wanted to sink my teeth into. But as I got closer to the table, a couple of guys just kinda jumped in front of me and snaked them before I even got a chance. You can imagine what that could do to a girl.

So why did you have to bring my menstrual cycle into it ? (Why do guys like to joke about women and their periods ? It's not witty, it's annoying)

Since you inquired, I decided to completely fill you in. You wanted to know ? No, I am currently not menstruating but thank you for asking. Since you were so concerned, I decided to also tell you about all the cramping and bloating I experience and how heavy/light my flows are depending on the days. I even told you about the feminine products that I use, just because you showed concern and there should be no secrets between us.

You seemed to be grossed out. I am sorry, did I make you uncomfortable ? Well, then next time don't ask, and I won't tell. It's not like I volunteer this information.

Love,

Your Coworker



Dear Mr. Good Looking Older Man,

We met at the golf tournament fundraiser. Clearly you were flirting with me. I mentioned that I enjoyed a hookah over the weekend and you said I was being so naughty ! ( Not the most original, but good enough) Since you didn't look older than my father (or old enough to be him), and since all of us that volunteer are passionate about community service, the law and education, I figured that I liked you.

Until..........

You mentioned that you've been volunteering probably longer than I've been alive in a tone a father would use. I know that you were exaggerating, but it was just too much for me.

I may appreciate an occasional age difference but I do NOT need a daddy to speak to me in a creepy "hey there little girl you need a spanking" sort of way.

No spank you.

Take care, bye bye now,

Senorita

17 comments:

Organic Meatbag said...

Yep, my species is rude, snarky, oblivious, petty, and downright idiotic in so many ways...oh, and did I mention predictable? Well, I can tell you that not all of us are that way, even me...hehehehe...of course, you might be second guessing that based on my recent posts... I just want to make people laugh...hahahaha...
Oh, and by the way, your new blog header picture, just like the previous one, is awesome!!

Scarlet said...

Your menstrual letter is priceless! lol I'm glad you gave him an earful and all that info. That should keep him quiet for a few minutes.

Some older men are "cute" but then there are others...they sound fatherly at first but then wind up trying to grope you in a parking lot. I've been there and it's not pretty!

Love your new pic, btw!

¡Baila...dale! :)

Loving Annie said...

Some men have low emotional intelligence. The two you described seem to fit into that category.

Big Mark 243 said...

I never have hassled a woman about her period ... but jeez louise, why do some women use it as an defense to be jerks and b*tches? One of the things that I have seen happen is some lady will affirm the rude comment and then act according to the story line.

As to the old man ... I figure that he just didn't have any game. You are still a hot babe and guys are intimidated by hot women.

Maybe if you were feeling him, you could have given him a break. But I don't blame you for not giving him any slack.

Kerrie said...

I am loving the new photo.
Lol at Menstrual Cycle letter.
I feel a bit sorry for the old guy. I think he just has no dating skills. He would probably have been really grateful. xx

That One Mom said...

EW, creepy old men are the worst... I run into my fair share at work.

Mutti said...

Oh Gott o Gott o Gott! Ich falle jetzt gleich um! Ich kanns ja nicht glauben dass Du solche Sachen sagst.....

Aber wegen dem altem Mann, bleib weit, weit weg von solchen Schmutzkuebeln, renn davon!

Ja, ich liebe Dich immer noch...
Bussi!

mac said...

I'm not the creepy older guy type. I'm also not the "give you the Fatherly, you need a spanking" type....unless I know you really well ;-)

I agree, guys are the worst. I have yet to meet one I would even date.

Tom Bailey said...

Cookies are for girls anyways... right?

Good women also hang out at fundraisers you eluded to a good point with that part too...

dadshouse said...

Hookahs and cookies and older men - oh my! (I suppose I could have ended that sentence with a period, to bring in your menstrual cycle. But I didn't think anyone would get that.)

Jimmy's Journal said...

Sometimes men need a good slap upside their heads to put things into perspective. Nice job!

The new header and layout is great!

Jimmy

Jimmy's Journal said...

P.S. I need your email address to send you some things.

jimsulliv3@aol.com

Jimmy

PorkStar said...

LMAO... Oh my God! hahaha

The heavy flow letter was actually very romantic to me...: )

As for Mr old person, ewww, that gave me some shrinkage... gag

Also, to Sandra's mom: Das ist mir auch aufgefallen when I met her, which is a good thing because that shows too she won't take shite from men.

Tschüss

* Ashleigh * said...

Like the new pic - when was it taken?

I should do this too! Dear Coworker, why are suddenly ignoring me?! Hehe I will write tonight!

Liam said...

Oh Yeah! that's what I'm talking about. Great picture. You look fantastic.

*Juliette* said...

Great new look!
I agree completely about the older man...ewwww. And any guy who references our periods better be prepared to get a complete lesson on flow, accompanied by a high school sex ed film. I am convinced that if men had periods, the government would shut down for one week every month. They couldn't handle that shit and be able to multitask like we can.

Deine Mutti said...

Mir gefaellt Dein neues Bild so gut! Du bist sehr schoen, meine liebe Kleine!

Porkstar, gut, dass Du Deutsch verstehst.....

Pfiat di!