Dear MALE coworker,
Yes, I was cranky this afternoon at work. Mainly because I saw some beautiful, chewy,chunky chocolate-chip cookies in the cafe that I just wanted to sink my teeth into. But as I got closer to the table, a couple of guys just kinda jumped in front of me and snaked them before I even got a chance. You can imagine what that could do to a girl.
So why did you have to bring my menstrual cycle into it ? (Why do guys like to joke about women and their periods ? It's not witty, it's annoying)
Since you inquired, I decided to completely fill you in. You wanted to know ? No, I am currently not menstruating but thank you for asking. Since you were so concerned, I decided to also tell you about all the cramping and bloating I experience and how heavy/light my flows are depending on the days. I even told you about the feminine products that I use, just because you showed concern and there should be no secrets between us.
You seemed to be grossed out. I am sorry, did I make you uncomfortable ? Well, then next time don't ask, and I won't tell. It's not like I volunteer this information.
Dear Mr. Good Looking Older Man,
We met at the golf tournament fundraiser. Clearly you were flirting with me. I mentioned that I enjoyed a hookah over the weekend and you said I was being so naughty ! ( Not the most original, but good enough) Since you didn't look older than my father (or old enough to be him), and since all of us that volunteer are passionate about community service, the law and education, I figured that I liked you.
You mentioned that you've been volunteering probably longer than I've been alive in a tone a father would use. I know that you were exaggerating, but it was just too much for me.
I may appreciate an occasional age difference but I do NOT need a daddy to speak to me in a creepy "hey there little girl you need a spanking" sort of way.
No spank you.
Take care, bye bye now,