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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Dating

Hello There My Lovelies,

If you are happily married or taken, you should never take that for granted. Treat your spouse well and live happily ever after.

If you are single and searching, then you know how difficult or awkward dating can be. I have had great dates, dates where I made mistakes, and dates where the guy was a total frog. It's definitely been enough to help me form a strong opinion of what I want, and what I don't want. And I know that it's not over yet, until I meet Mr. Right.

I also know that while I would love for him to walk in my life, I still have a few things to learn and I am still not quite ready. It took me a long time to even understand that, which is a huge step in the right direction.

I have to say that while I have gone out with a lot of frogs and made my share of dating mistakes, I am glad that it happened. Without that, I don't think I could've formed a clear idea of what I really want in a relationship.

I remember when I was a teenager growing up and entering high school. I was a late bloomer and started thinking about boys then. I knew that I was innocent and naive because of the way I grew up.

I started praying around that time for God to bring my someone special that I could cherish for the rest of my life. I also told him that I didn't understand all of the drama in the dating world and why women bashed men all the time and vice versa. Since I was sheltered I didn't understand all of the drama. I asked God to help me understand the differences between men and women. Basically, I asked for God to enlighten me. Deep down, I didn't really want to enter a marraige as a young woman without a clue, even if the man was good, because I wouldn't have known the difference.

I didn't want to marry the first guy who proposed. I have a couple of friends who only know one man and don't know what's out there.

If I had gotten involved or married earlier, such as in my early twenties, I wouldn't have had the chance to become independent. These last couple of years on my own have been real crucial. I also wouldn't have been able to cherish the relationship. I would've taken it for granted, felt insecure due to a lack of independence and taken all of my insecurities out on him.

I didn't want to be a woman involved in a long, unfulfilled marraige for years that eventually gets divorced in her middle age and has to start all over. I have talked to a lot of women in that situation and they tell me how difficult it is.

I've thought that God has been punishing me all these years, but really He's giving me the opportunity to correct my mistakes so that I stop making the wrong choices and start making better choices. It's been a long road, but at least I can see the light.

Without all this "me time" I wouldn't have had a time to develop an opinion of what I want in a man. I would've just fallen for the first man that came along and followed his idea of what a good relationship is.

4 comments:

Myra said...

Amen, sister! As one of those middle aged women who endured a 22 year marriage that ended when I turned 40. I feel that is when I started living my life. I wouldn't change a thing because I've learned a lot, mostly of myself. Guess some of us have to learn the hard way! It'll happen for you when you are ready :)

Big Mark 243 said...

Hmm ... I feel a kinship with you and particularly this conversation you are having. I am going to have a conversation not to different when I get it 'down' in my journal soon.

I don't 'hate' on those who have found their partner, I only hope that what they have is good for them. Like you, I know that I have made some mistakes, some of them huge and I call them 'critical', because they took a lot for me to overcome them.

Coming from where I came from, being a nerdy kind of outcast cat in my adolescence, to finally finding a way to 'market' myself, I finally in my 30's realized what I had been trying to achieve in relationships, and I feel more prepared and ready than I did before.

I really love your outlook ... that you are being 'prepared' for the relationship you desire. I have felt that way too, though I took the same road that the 'bumpy bus' took. My confidence never has wavered, and I feel like I know more about myself, which is half of being in a good relationship.

My experiences has helped to shape the kind of person that I want, the kind of relationship that I want. I have a GREAT idea of what I can provide a person, and what I would expect from someone that I am in love with.

Love how you are ... 'see the light' ... and no my dear, it isn't a train! I have NO DOUBT that it is out there for me as well, and it is very refreshing to see that I am not the only one who has gone thru their ups and downs, and still have a smile on their face, and still hopeful and positive about things.

YOU have help me a lot!! Glad that you share what you do!!

PorkStar said...

interesting post... and regardless of how times can get during a marriage, I miss my wife.

Winivere said...

This is the greatest lesson:

I've thought that God has been punishing me all these years, but really He's giving me the opportunity to correct my mistakes so that I stop making the wrong choices and start making better choices. It's been a long road, but at least I can see the light.

Too bad so many people never learn it. Too bad so many people are in such a rush to get to nowhere.

XX