What's Up My Little Hearts ?
Miss Me ?
It's been almost a month that I've been back from vacay, and I still have so much to write. I had a wonderful time in Austria and Amsterdam.
Okay so enough trip talk. Let's talk about love !
What if I told that you could get any man or woman that you want ? That if you pay me money and do exactly what I tell you that you could land the sweetheart of your dreams ?
What if you actually believed me ? I would tell you to keep your money because there is no way I could promise to deliver such a thing. I think it is interesting how there are a lot of "love gurus" that promise to help you seal the deal.
You may not always get what you want because the other person you are after has free will, and has a say in the matter too ! I feel most "experts" fail to mention that and act like it is all in our control. I feel like most dating advice out there is about manipulating others into going out with us, that they fail to teach us how to relate and get to know others.
There are so many books and relationship experts out there that promise results. They tell you what scents to wear, how to act, how to play hard to get, how to get him to propose and the list goes on..............
And yet, there are still so many people who have read all of the above out there with no love in their lives. I've read a lot of books. Here is some of the advice I've read from various sources in no particular order.
-- Men love bitches. Be polite, but don't always make yourself so available. Don't cook for him in the beginning, and don't be so available. Always leave him guessing where you are.
-- If a man doesn't marry you in one year of dating two years tops, then he will never marry you.
-- Make him wait for sex or he won't respect you. Make him wait at least 90 days.
--Men go crazy over vanilla scents. You can't go wrong with vanilla.
-- Don't pick up the phone on the first call.
-- Men love straight hair, they don't like it curly
--If you want to marry him and he is not sure about you, give him an ultimatum.
-- All men love sex, and what works for one man will work for the next one. It is so easy to please a man.
-- Wear heels.
-- All men love boobs.
--All men are crazy about sex
-- Just cook for him and he will fall in love with you.
-- Never call a man
--Men should always pursue women
--Women should never pay for a date
Some of the advice is very good, and I believe in some of it, others, not so much ! For example, I strongly believe in never paying for a date, as a woman. I always believe the men should pay. But there are some women out there who don't mind, and actually feel more liberated when they pay for their share, and it works for them !
If I had to give love advice, I would tell you that each man is different, and like women, they can't be lumped together in one category. Most relationship authors/experts that give love advice act that all men are the same, and that if we act one way, that we can land any man. I don't think it works that way.
Contrary to the listed advice above, I've met a lot of people who are happily married now, but dated for over 5 years and may have broken up in between. A LOT of men love curly hair, I've received a lot of compliments on my wavy hair. And since I'm in the Bay Area, boobs aren't as in as they used to be. It's all about the ass where I live. Most men I know would rather take a round, plump ass over a great rack anyday. So I am confused as to why women are getting breast implants, when I see men staring at asses way more than the boobage.
So what advice can I give you ?
--Obviously use common sense, but all I can tell you is to be yourself. If you are yourself and he is still not interested, then he is not the one for you. You may possibly be crazy, and if that is who you are, you need a man who is crazy as you are, or a man that like craziness.
--All the advice out there may be helpful in you getting more dates, but if the guy isn't right for you, then it just delays the inevitable breakup.
And also, there are books and "love gurus" out there that like to throw tough love in your face and tell you that if you are still single, it is your fault, and that you aren't using the Law of Attraction in your favor. They tell you about affirmations, and that if you do your daily affirmations, that it will come to you, and then a bunch of women talk about how Mr. Prince Charming walked into their lives soon after.
The Law of Attraction may be true, and even though it may be, that is a small percentage of why you may be single and looking.
So the only tried and true thing I can tell you is to be yourself, because when you are in your element doing what you love, you become happy and confident, and men notice that. While you are busy being yourself, get to know the man you are dating. When he is talking about himself, listen carefully and see if he is your type of guy. Every guy is different, and get to know what makes him unique.
So that is all for now, lovelies !