My Wednesday

Hello Everyone,

Well, tommorow I am gonna go to the US embassy. There is a chance that if I can prove to them that I have been here in Spain since late June that they can write a letter with the special USA stamp stating that I have in fact been here since late July so that I can have a better chance of getting papers. I am taking time off work tommorow to do it. If it happens, great. If not, I can live with it too. I just need to know so I can get on with my life.

I also have to go to the doctors office tommorow to pick up my health care card. With this card I can get any type of medical service. That´s sweet. Back in the states I couldn´t afford to even get sick. The health care system in the states stinks if you are like me with no money. And yeah, insurance helps but they do everything they can to screw you over. Can you imagine being in a serious car accident and after recovering you discover that the insurance company that you paid to cover you is actually trying to screw you over ?

I also just recently started my Spanish classes. I like it. That way I am not lounging around at home after work. There are 6 other people in my class.

And tonight is my favorite series. I watch it faithfully every Wednesday.

Okay. Ciao.

 

Letting it all out

Hello Everyone,

I gotta say that this journal has been therapy for me. That way I express how I am feeling and don´t really have to complain to anyone because I usually get it over with here. Sometimes I go back and look at my previous entries and I get to reflect and see how far I´ve come along.

I have been noticing that no one has been leaving comments. I don't even know if people even stop by anymore. I know my mom does once in a while, bless her heart. But I think that maybe I´ve been losing readers because I have been venting lately. It´s sad, but oh well. I am still not gonna change my format. I would rather be true to how I am feeling not to mention that I would rather bitch here than to my coworkers or roommate.

Anyways, I really think that traveling makes you discover a lot about yourself. I learned and confirmed so many things here about myself. The good, bad and ugly. My fears are coming out so much stronger and so are my strengths. I am also learning how to stand up for myself,  face rejection and relate to all types of people. 

Traveling here made me realize just how much I do not know. Lots of people that I have met here have lived in so many countries and speak 2-3 languages. They also have strong opinions about world politics because they follow up on the news.  

Anyways.... on to the news. After I wrote yesterday's entry my roommate came home and told me the bad news. Basically I lack one requirement to get papers, which is registering in the town hall before August 8th. I registered in October. I am too late. As of now there is nothing I can really do. I can´t get papers. Despite what my folks said, I didn´t get papers due to the fact that I am unable to fulfill a requirement. NOT because I didn´t try hard enough. And next time, if you are gonna tell me to be more creative at least back up your statements with evidence of HOW I could do it and what you know about the Spanish laws instead of spouting the Bible of how when there is a will there is a way. Because from our conversation, you had to ask me all about the Spanish laws which leads me to believe that you have no clue how the system works, which means you probably don´t know what you are talking about. Look you are so much smarter than I will ever be and make miracles happen all the time in the business world. But I think a foreign government in a different language withlaws changing all the time is probably something you haven´t really dealt with. Thankyouverymuch I feel better now.

Lord knows we´ve been all across the city, taken days off work and thought of everything we can. Sorry, but I am not Moses. Ican´t magically part the Red Sea or bat my eyes at the govt officials. Hell if I had powers like Moses I would already be flawlessly speaking Spanish with a kick ass job and David Bisbal would be my faithful husband. 

 All I can do is sit and hope that so many people are in my situation that the government will change the regulations. That is a possibility too. I am also looking for jobs where the government might agree to hire me and give me a job offer so that I can take it back to the Spanish Embassy in California to get a visa. That is also very slim, but it´s worth a shot.

 I could also sign a marraige certificate but I don´t want to. My roommate has been good to me so far. However, I am not willing to be legally bound to him and I don´t trust anyone completely.

I am still upset about not being able to get papers, but I am dealing. I thanked my roommate for all his help and am starting not to dwell on it as much. I have four months left. In the mean time I am taking Spanish and bellydancing lessons. The next lesson will be on Saturday. I miss dancing. Whether I get papers or not or I get a teaching job or not under the table, I will still make the best of my time here.

I also went to apply for free health care. I went to the clinic close to my apartment. It´s a relief. And it was nice of my flatmate to think of. He really has gone out of his way to help me and he didn´t have to. I told him to visit me in CA because when he does I will go out of my way to show him around and help him learn English. It´s the LEAST I could do after what he´s been through to help me.

Anyways I am sure that you can tell that I am very upset about me not getting papers. I was so close but the law changed at the last minute and the door slammed in my face. The whole thing was a slap in the face, but I am dealing. Kinda like a movie where everything is peachy at first, but of course it´s not a movie without a conflict. I still have my fingers crossed that the ending will be happy. Shoot, I wish that MTV could make a reality show about me. Oh man, all the emotions and drama are there not to mention that the wierdest shit happens to me here.

Okay, gotta go. Feel free to send me flaming mails if you want. My mailbox is kinda empty anyways.

Hola :)

Hello Everyone,

Well, I was shocked today. I expected to be very sore from skiing. But I am not. How wierd. Maybe I didn't ski hard enough. I had fun skiing on the mountains in Andorra, but skiing with my parents will always be my favorite. When I skied with my parents we always bonded on the lift and then skiied our asses off down the mountain. Then we would eat chili in a breadbowl for lunch and have burping and farting contests. I really miss that. It´s been four years. I really hope we can do it again next year.

But I gotta tell ya that skiing in Andorra was beautiful. Andorra is such a beautiful country. The drive home left me in absolute awe.

Today I read the news headlines where immigrants were presenting their requests for papers today. I am still trying to get my papers together. Unfortunately I couldn´t be among them.

I am still upset from Friday as it seems that doors keep getting slammed in my face. But we are gonna keep trying. My roommate still has a few tricks up his sleeve. As long as I don't have to sign a marraige certificate I am willing to try it.

I was talking to a couple of my folks back home about this. To be honest, I was expecting a shoulder to cry on because dammit, I it´s a little rough right now. My feathers are a little ruffled. To be fair, they told me the love me and they are proud of me. But, I ALSO got a little spiel of how I am not getting where I want because I don't want it bad enough or how I am not charming enough to the government officicals. (Gee, maybe I shoulda worn my little schoolgirl skirt that day.) Or if there is a will there is a way and apparently I am not doing everything I can. And that I have to look deeper inside me or be more creative. Then when I asked for specific things to do, guess what ? I wasn't given any. Thanks for the advice.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be posting this here as it's family business. And I know I will probably hear about this, and it's understandable. And no disrespect to anyone. But damn, that made me a little upset. I am doing everything that I know how. I may not be doing everything I can, and thats because I don't know it is that needs to be done. I have only been here for 7 months. The immigration laws change all the time and believe me I tried to figure it out. My legal Spanish isn't that good and just because I speak enough Spanish to live doesn't mean that I can read legal fine print yet. Shit, I am still working on basic sentence structures. Luckily I have a roommate that is willing to help me. Otherwise I wouldn't even know where to begin because the window of opportunity to get papers is small.

Anyways, I am done getting this load off my chest. Ciao.

 

 

Andorra

Hello Everyone,

Before I talk about today, I read a news article that the process for legalizing people like myself without papers that have jobs will begin tommorow. This also means that people that work in the immigrations office may finally have a clue about what they are talking about. My flatmate is doing everything he can to help me get papers. I left him with my TEFL certificate and passport. I sure hopes he gives me back my passport :) I always get nervous handing over my passport to ANYONE. I am just nervous about the whole thing in general.

Last Friday left me with a bad feeling. I guess it is up to God now. If HE believes that I should stay here then HE will make it happen. Cuz let me tell ya, I am missing one of the requirements to become legal and I think it will take an act of God (pun intended) to get legalized. Governments don´t just open their arms up to people. I barely have met all but one of the requirements and even though doors have been getting shut in my face, somehow at the last minute someone comes out and gives us a lead which keeps giving me hope to believe that MAYBE I can get legal. Wierd how that happens.

But then again, if I went through all this shit for nothing and all the days I took off work amounted to absolutely fucking nothing then at least I have two tickets back home. I am prepared for that too. Actually, I am looking forward to the trip home with a smile on my face. I have been missing home lately.

Now on to my wonderful day today........................

I went skiing in Andorra. Beautiful country situated in the Pyranees mountains. BEAUTIFUL. It is even more beautiful without snow in the springtime.

Andorra is a nice place for business people because if I remember correctly you don´t have to pay taxes there. Imagine that.

Although somethings are very expensive, gasoline and grocery products are so much cheaper there. My roommate bought lots of bags of sugar for his mom. And if you´re a smoker, oh my !!! Cigarettes are way, way cheaper.

I had a wonderful time skiing and I know that my legs will reming me about it tommorow. The first run was hard because before today I haven´t skied in over 4 years. But then I got back into it and let the adrenaline rushes happen. I love skiing.

And let me tell ya that the skii slopes in California have NOTHING on the slopes here. For starters in California we only have the lift. Hell , you´re lucky if you even have a safety bar to pull down.

Here there were three ways to get up the mountain:

1.) The Lift( Safety bar always included.

2.) Enclosed gondola or cabin. Basically you put your skis in a rack outside the gondola and get in and enjoy the ride. You don´t freeze your ass of AND it is faster than the lift.

3.) A pole with a disc at the bottom. You put the poll between your legs and hold onto the pole. You aren´t sitting down. So basically you are being hauled up the mountain with a pole while you were standing. It was kinda interesting, put I preferred to sit.

We also had restaurants halfway up the slopes. In California there was a lodge at the bottom and if you wanted to eat you always had to go to the bottom. Well, there was a lodge at the bottom and in the middle of the slopes. But they sure made you pay an arm and a leg for your food.

Anyways, it was fun and my face is red and I am tired. I even took pictures. But I took it with my disposable camera so I can´t just post them here like I could with my digi cam. There was no way in hell that I was gonna trust my digicam to the snow.

Ciao.

I just can´t help it.....................

Hello Everyone,

Yeah, this is my second posting in the same day. Before you start telling me that I should get a life and stop spending so much time here, chill out. I am going skiing tommorow in Andorra ALL DAY :) Do you know where Andorra is ? It´s not a city like my ignorant ass used to think. It is a little country between France and Spain in the Pyranees mountains. It is the only country where the official langauge is Catalan.

Anyways, I am just going through one of those days where I want to be home. I REALLY miss home right now.  I can´t help it. I feel like I am getting smarter here. But to get smarter you gotta struggle a little bit. And shit, I am struggling. Sometimes I long for the lazy days I had back in CA where I was more ignorant and I didn´t have to think too hard.

I think that I am so unsettled with my life right now because I want something better for myself and I am struggling to find it. I am trying to figure out where I fit in. I am not happy just getting by like I am doing right now. I gotta say that I am having the adventure of my lifetime that I will won´t forget. You wouldn´t believe how many stories I could tell. But I am still not happy. It´s not that I am miserable. I am just not comfortable right now. Well, at least I am getting smarter. Or at least that´s what I think.

Anyways, I wonder how many people out there feel the same as me. How many people are confused like me. There should be some sort of club for people like us.

Anyways, Ciao for now.