Saturday, August 8, 2015

25 Facts/Stories About Moi

Well Hello My Little Dumplings !

What's happening ?

My latest hobby has been watching "how to" YouTube videos on cooking, makeup tips, and shopping. Not only is it free, but it has really helped me in my journey of eating healthier. It really blows that I can't eat all the sugar and carbs that I used to. Because I freaking love sugar and carbs, but I have to be extra careful because not only do those things make me feel depressed, but it makes me look knocked up. If weight were the only issue at hand, I would just work out more, but feeling like shit and wanting to cry is no longer worth the few minutes of pleasure and nostalgia I experience when eating my favorite desserts.

Anywhooters, the latest trend is for vloggers to discuss 50 facts about themselves, but I will just keep it to 25. I really don't like to film myself. I don't like the sound of my voice, so I wouldn't force someone else to listen to it, but also I would end up doing something totally inappropriate on camera like thrusting the air, or pretending to hump furniture. Once I release that into the Interwebz, it's out there forever, and what if I decide to run for office some day ? Or what if I decide to become a spiritual leader and become an important public figure ? If people are going to look up to me for spiritual and moral guidance, they don't need to see my pelvis. What kind of example would I be setting ? Exactly..............

So I will just blog about my random 25 facts. Normally you are supposed to tag people to take this challenge, but I do not believe in tagging others, I think it's one way to lose friends. So, here are my fifty things, and I will try to make it snappy !

1) I used to be strictly a dog person, but I have since discovered kitties and now I am bipetual.

2) I hate squash, eggplant, kidneys, and liver. The texture is the worst of all.

3) I have never purchased my own television before, I have always lived in places with a TV.

4) I have also never purchased furniture of my own before. Actually, I did purchase a bed once when I rented an apartment, because it was already there. And it had bedbugs. That was three years ago, and I am still traumatized.

5) When I had bedbugs, it took two weeks to discover the source of my itching, and three weeks to get over the horrible bites that were all over my body once I discovered them (I counted about 100). The psychological drama of it is the worst, and you are lucky if you get over it after a couple of years. Plus no one wants to be near you.

6) I don't like to own a lot of things. I am kind of a minimalist.

7) I don't really like owning real jewelry unless it's inherited or an engagement/wedding piece.

8) I love to collect handbags, some from the store, but most from Goodwill. Because I love to purchase them so cheaply, I don't wear them for long, and usually end up giving them away or donating them back. I love rotating through them quickly.

9) I love coloring. I recently bought coloring books and crayons.

10) I won't color with anything else but Crayola.

11) I once went skydiving, but I would never even consider bungee jumping.

12) I have seen psychics and tarot card readers in the past based on recommendations from close family and friends. They raved how accurate the reader was. As for me, they were about 50% right and 50% wrong, which means that no one has accurately predicted anything for me in my future.

I take that back, I did talk to one woman a few years back who gave me the best advice of all: It's a reading based on the energy I am putting out at the moment, and she could be right or wrong in her predictions. She could tell me I could meet the man of my dreams, and it would still never happen and vice versa. Basically, it is still just a guess on my energy field at the moment, which is always changeable. I have since focused on just working towards my goals and letting the chips fall where they may.

13) I get told that I am way too sensitive. Sometimes I am told that I am way too nice, and I need to toughen up. I disagree. Some of the people I look up to most are extremely kind and empathetic and I strive to be like that, especially since they seem happier in general. I would rather be sensitive and have a heart, rather than have a tough exterior.

14) I love bacon, but I don't like eating pork chops. I was raised against pork, and although I eat a little, I stay away from larger pieces of pork.

15) In dating, I don't believe in "the nice guy". The "nice guy" ends up being the worst of all, sort of like a wolf in harmless sheep's clothing. I believe in a man with manners, a kind man, but the one that tells me that "he is just a nice guy" and "women only go for the bad boys" is one that tends to lack self confidence and feels that women owe him for any nice gesture he throws their way.

16) I once tried a past life regression and it didn't work for me.

17) I don't like the division that political parties creates in this country. I really don't identify with any one particular party. I have a lot of beliefs from both sides, and it is so difficult to relate to once candidate in particular.

18) I once went out with a guy who ended up trying to convert me into a Scientologist. That makes for good blog fodder. Some of the things he told me, I don't think I could even repeat.

19) I also once dated a guy who wanted to take me to the movies, give me flowers and a stuffed animal. And by flowers, a movie and a stuffed animal, I mean, he tried sneaking me into the theater via the exit, and plucked a flower for me out of the flower bed. Did I also mention that he gave me a stuffed animal he swiped from one of his nieces ? (I would bet that it was probably one that he gave to his ex girlfriends, probably even a current one).

After our "date" he tried making out with me in the parking lot. I don't think he understood why I never returned any of his calls. Thank God, this was over a decade ago and I have learned a few things since then.

20) My first job was at a drive-thru at Jack-In-The-Box.

21) I used to rent cars for a living at Enterprise Rent A Car. So many good stories from that gig.

22) When I rented cars, we were required to wash cars in our nice dress clothes. Creepy men would stand there while us ladies washed the cars. One of the most interesting things I found in one of our cars was forceps and a garbage bag. My boss wanted to call him and tell him that we found his "vag opener".

23) Of course, when you rent cars you will find the occasional sex toys and porn people leave behind. One genius left her dildo behind and we called her to tell her she left it behind and it was in our lost and found. She never called us back or swung by to pick it up. I wonder why ?

24) I once worked the night shift at a hotel desk for a few months. It was a good job, but a customer did manage to steal the cash drawer while he lured me away to check on a car. I also once had a guy invite me back to his room "just to talk". He promised he wouldn't cut me up and leave me by the river. How sweet and thoughtful, right ?

25) When I rented cars, my boss, word for word, would make me ask " Were you completely satisfied with my service?" I had to stand there and say this to grown men who would end up smirking, blushing or turning red. I could barely keep a straight face myself. Bosses can sure be assholes sometimes.


Darrin The Retro Dad said...

Crayola reigns supreme in the world of crayons!!!! (side note) Didn't know you were blogging here. So glad I caught up with you again!

Blogoratti said...

Great and interesting to rad all that, good of you to share indeed. Greetings!

Big Mark 243 said...

...interesting list... signs of a experienced life..!

mac said...

I've been studying the psychic arts. Let' me put on my medium hat and see what I see ....

You have a great need for other people to like and admire you.
You have a tendency to be critical of yourself.
You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage.
While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them.
Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you.
Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside.
At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.
You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.
You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof.
You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.
At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved.
Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.
Security is one of your major goals in life.