Tuesday, August 11, 2015

When You Are Depressed....................

1) Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and second by second if you have to. If all you can do is shower and wash the dishes, that is okay. At least you did something.

2) When you are depressed, sometimes the motivational speeches will be of no help. Joel Osteen and Tony Robbins will tell you that you can just change your attitude magically, that you can simply choose to be happy. Just pray, just give it to God ! While it may be helpful and you can certainly do those things, the results won't be instantaneous. Don't beat yourself up if it takes a few days or weeks for things to get better.

3) I don't think the Law of Attraction is helpful to people with anxiety and depression. Because basically what you are telling that person, is that it's really their fault for feeling horrible. The Law of Attraction basically states that you reap what you manifest in your mind, and what you receive is a direct result of what you project in your mind. So if someone feels like shit and ends up not being able to get out of bed, that person brought it all upon him/herself. I think that is just full of shit.

First of all, though the Law of Attraction is a law and may have some validity to it, it is not the ONLY universal law out there. Not only that, but the Law of Attraction is kind of egotistical, it leads us to believe that we are the only ones in the world making decisions, and the actions of others have no effect on us, we are the center of the universe.

Though positive thinking can be helpful, and projecting good thoughts about your future is very healthy, things will come along in life that will fuck that up for you. Meaning things beyond your control happen. You could get into a car accident, or lose someone close to you, and you can't control these things with the power of positive thinking. Positive thinking may push you closer to your goal, but it doesn't allow you to have bad days.

4) The best way of getting over depression is to get through it, meaning accepting your feelings and feeling them. Being with your thoughts, examining them and acknowledging them, you are demonstrating that you are no longer afraid of those thoughts, and that is when the journey begins to get a little easier.

5) Many self help gurus will harp on positive thinking, they don't really get you to become one with your traumatizing thoughts. They want you to mask it, and pretend they don't exist. It is usually therapists that will make you explore your dark thoughts and get you to talk about them.

A motivational speaker will tell you that when you are experiencing depression or debilitating thoughts, that you should get up and do something. Tell yourself that you are not going to feel sad anymore, tell your depression to go away, and eventually it will. Or fight those feelings. Fighting feelings has always made me feel worse, and more of a failure. Once you fight feelings, they just get stronger.

Feelings don't go away just because you tell them to. They go away once you deal with them. and unfortunately, people in the self help industry that have a large following fail to mention this because it requires people to put in a lot of hard work and relive those emotions, and no one really wants to do that. People are so tired of their depression, the last thing they want to do is experience more of it, they want instant results, which is totally understandable, but it's not how it usually works.

6) Things sometimes have to get worse before they get better. No one will ever tell you that once you begin your journey in healing yourself that things get worse before they get better, Sometimes they get way worse, Could you imagine paying someone to help you, and instead of seeing results, you feel worse and take a couple of steps back ? No one will warn you of that. And I think this discourages people, and they just stop.

When I started to go on medication, I got way worse before I felt any relief. I lost my appetite for two weeks. I felt tired, and drunk, and miserable. But after two weeks of my body adjusting to the medication, I got my life back and started to feel better.

When I first went into therapy, I had to talk about things that I couldn't bring myself to talk about. I used to spend tons of hours crying on the couch. But eventually I got much better.

7) Depression is Cyclical. When you get better, you're not going to be feeling better forever. because you will go back to having bad days. So, when you have your bad days, don't be scared that you are falling into old patterns. The difference, is now you have better tools to help you navigate through your Depression, and can pick yourself up faster.

8) Some people say their depression was cured. That probably won't happen for you. You may feel better for a while, and may be using your tools to cope better. But depression is an addiction.

9) My personal belief is that drug addicts and depressed/anxious people have a lot of the same underlying feelings. When I started reading books on dealing with anxiety and depression, some of the best advice was in the books for addicts.

10) I am not an addict, but it is my personal belief that people become addicts when they don't know how to deal with their feelings in a healthy matter. If there weren't such a stigma against addicts, I think they could really help people dealing with depression. They are extreme examples of what happens when depression is not dealt with, and when feelings are suppressed for a long time.

That is all I have got for today. Till next time !


Ileana said...

I can't speak for those with depression but I do know fighting bad feelings can work for a short time...but sooner or later these negative feelings come back, when you least expect them, with a vengeance! It's good when you're able to identify patterns and deal with these feelings early. This is not easy. None of this stuff is easy but we do get stronger when we realize what we've been through, what we've been able to accomplish and that we are not alone.

Blogoratti said...

Finding the root cause for one's depression can be a good start. A wonderful post indeed, nice of you to share.

mac said...

Stifling feelings is not a good plan.
However, the self-help charlatans are right that if you suppress the feeling long enough, it will go away... Because you'll eventually DIE!