Rude, Crude, and Obnoxious Part II (Not safe for little kids or overprotective grandmas)

Hello There My Little French Hens,


So why did the penis cross the road ? Click and have a listen to find out.

And remember, next time you feel like being violent, don't fight people, have sex with them !

My poor friend Ashleigh, she's had to deal with me quoting parts of this song. A couple of weeks ago I met up with her in a restaurant. I went up to her table in plain view of the other tables, and quoted a couple of lines while rocking back and forth. Yet she still loves me. And for that I am forever grateful.

Okay, that is all for now.

Besitos !

P.S: And yes Paul Nichols, I frequently do lie awake at night and come up with stuff to post for your sick and twisted entertainment. And it is my pleasure. You're welcome and have a nice day :)

Survey whore comeback...........

Hi Kittens,

Today I went back to the dance festival to watch the other dancers as I wasn't able to do it yesterday. I enjoyed the dancers, especially since I saw one of my first teachers on stage.

I also made a couple of purchases. I bought some gloves to dance with. I've been looking for long gloves to dance with for a while know with out the finger covers. I finally found them in black and in red. I absolutely love gloves, and I wore gloves on my graduation when I graduated with my bachelors. I also love a nice pair of gloves with an evening gown.

I also bought a traditional Moroccan caftan. It's basically a loose outer garment worn in the Middle East. But belly dancers wear it to cover their costumes before dancing on stage. It is considered bad form for a belly dancer to walk around in her costume if she isn't dancing. All this time, I've just kept covered with a veil, like a pig in a blanket. Now I can walk around in style.

And before I log off, I should let you all know that I used to be quite the survey whore. If you look back in my archives, around last year, I did a lot of surveys. Well, survey whore is back !! Feel free to snake this survey, like I did, and whore around on your blog as well.

My answers are in caps.


Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:: YES, AND SOMETIMES IT WORKS
What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?:: BECAUSE MY PARENTS AND ASHLEIGH READ THIS, I AM NOT CONFESSING HERE
Ever been in a car wreck?:: YES
Were you popular in high school?:: HAHAHA, NOT AT ALL
Have you ever been on a blind date?:: YES
Are looks important?:: TO AN EXTENT
Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??:: YES, AFTER THIS YEAR, I DO !
By what age would you like to be married?:: AFTER THIRTY, AND WE SHALL SEE WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR ME
Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them?:: TO AN EXENT
Have you ever made a mistake?:: HAVEN'T WE ALL
Are you a good tipper?:: YES, I WAS A WAITRESS IN COLLEGE. DEALING WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR FOOD IS DEFINITELY NOT MY CALLING.
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?:: $70 AND WORTH EVERY DOLLAR. I GOT SEXY BEDROOM HAIR
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:: OH YEAH, OUR ECON TEACHER WAS HALF SPANISH AND HALF ARABIC
Have you ever peed in public?:: IN A PUBLIC TOILET, YES.... FOR EVERYONE TO SEE? NO
What song do you want played at your funeral?:: WHY WOULD I CARE? I WOULDN'T EVEN BE THERE
Would you tell your parents if you were gay?:: YES, BUT THEY KNOW ME LIKEY THE BOYS
What would your last meal be before getting executed?:: DUNNO, BUT SOMETIMES I EAT LIKE IM GETTING EXECUTED THE NEXT DAY
Beatles or Stones?:: BEATLES
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:: THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS QUESTION
Beer, wine or hard liquor?:: I'M NOT REALLY A FAN OF ALCOHOL
Do you have any phobias?:: YES, AND YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ABOUT THEM
What are your plans for the future?:: HELL IF I KNOW, MY FUTURE IS SO UNPREDICTABLE AND I CAN'T EVEN PREDICT THE FOLLOWING WEEK
Do you walk around the house naked?:: OH NO WAY......
If you were an animal what would you be?:: A BIRD, I WOULD LOVE TO FLY AND SHIT ON THE HEADS OF PEOPLE AND HEAR THEM SAY IT'S GOOD LUCK
Hair color you like on someone you're dating?:: DARK
Would you rather be blind or deaf?:: WOULD YOU RATHER BE STUPID OR SLOW ?
Do you have any special talents?:: I CAN WIELD A SWORD AND MAKE IT LOOK SEXY
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:: TALK TO MY ROOMMATES
Do you like horror or comedy?:: COMEDY
Are you missing anyone?:: NEGATIVO
If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do?:: WELL I AM STRAIGHT SO I WOULD DO A MAN
Where do you want to live when you are old?:: WITH MY OLD HUSBAND, NOT BEING TAKEN CARE OF IN A NURSING HOME
Who is the person you can count on the most?:: MY FAMILY
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:: ANTONIO SABATO JR. WELL, ACTUALLY I WOULDN'T WANT TO PUT UP WITH HIM, BUT I SURE WOULDN'T MIND GETTING PHYSICAL WITH HIM
What did you dream last night?:: I DON'T REMEMBER
What is your favorite sport to watch?:: ICE SKATING
Are you named after anyone?:: NOT ANYONE I KNOW
What is your favorite alcoholic drink?:: BAILEYS OVER ICE
Non alcoholic drink?:: CINNAMON DOLCE LATTE FROM STARBUCKS
Have you ever been in love?:: NO
Do you sing in the shower?:: NOT WHERE I LIVE
Have you ever been arrested?:: NO, AND I HOPE THAT NEVER HAPPENS
What is your favorite Holiday?:: THANKSGIVING
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:: ASK ME THAT WHEN MY I AM OLD AND MY TITS ARE IN MY SHOES
Have you ever caught a fish?:: YES, BY HAND IN A LAKE IN AUSTRIA WHEN I WAS A CHILD

Desert Dance Festival 2009

Hello My Little Turtle Doves,

Yesterday I performed at the Desert Dance Festival in my area. I danced with our troupe, and then little bit after I danced my solo with the sword.

Unfortunately I didn't get to watch the other dancers much as we were too busy trying to prep for our performances. I was nervous as hell before. During our troupe dance my dance shoelaces were coming undone but I managed to not let it bother me. I remember a few years ago while I danced with double veils, I got tangled in a bunch of balloons.

I had a lot of fun with my sword dance. I practiced a lot, and worked a lot on my back bends. I was happy that my friends came out to see me. We went out to dinner after.

So I am tired, and I need to wash all this glitter and painted-up-whore-makeup off me.

Besitos !

Pedophile Beards

Hi Kittens,

As you know, I love Jon Lajoie. My twisted friend Sylvan who watches his porn on his iphone, introduced him to me. I've been a fan ever since (of Jon Lajoie, not porn on the iphone you pervos). It was he who told me Jon Lajoie was performing two blocks away from me.

So Sylvan and I went and saw this dude live in February. I was sick as a dog, just took an exam I tanked, and in the middle of having to decide where to live after my roommate got laid off. It was a nice little ray of sunshine during a stressful time.

I've watched almost all of his videos, and just in awe of all the filth that comes out of his mouth at once, yet oddly inspired.

Anywhore, here is another video I thought was hilarious. Please my little furballs, move your paw over to the mouse, click, and have a listen...........

P.S: My dad has had a wierd collection of hats over the years. My brother and I recently saw him and dubbed his latest hat as the "There's gotta be something wrong with that guy, hat."

9/11

Good Morning Loves,

I noticed that I have a couple of new readers that are following me now. Thank you and welcome to my blog !

Today is the 8th anniversary of September 11th. I still remember that day and what I was doing when the towers were hit . I was in college at the time living in the dorms. My roommate's boyfriend called and told us to turn on the TV.

At first I didn't know what was going on. I thought they were reporting on the incident that happened at the World Trade Center in 1993.

Class was cancelled that day on campus, and we just spent the entire day glued to the TV.

I had never felt such sadness over anything that was reported in the news before. I continued to be glued to the tv for the next couple of days as the airports were shut down.

For a while after that day, I felt like our country came together for a brief period of time as Americans. People were proud to be American again and hung the American flag. People would proudly stand with their hands over their hearts with their heads bowed and cry during the national anthem when there was a game. I miss that sense of unity.

Now we're back to fighting and slinging mud at each other. Especially in politics. While we all have to vote for one party over the other, I am not a fan of different parties, especially since my views fall in between, and I don't feel like any candidate fully represents what I believe in. Also when there is a bad president in office, it shames that party for a long time.

I may have European roots and tendencies, and I may want to travel and live in different countries, but I am American as apple pie ! I lived in Barcelona from 2004-2005, and came to that realization abroad.

While I was in Barcelona, I did not wear the Canadian flag, which is such bullshit and a cop out anyway. I would introduce myself and say that I was American, and from California. People in Barcelona love California by the way, especially when I told them I lived an hour away from San Francisco. Not once did anyone ridicule me for being American, and that was because I spoke in Spanish and made an effort to get to know them and their culture. Of course the elections were going on at the time, and everyone and their mother wanted to know who I was going to vote for. Bush or Kerry was the magical question of the day every day. I told them I didn't like either and left it at that. Besides, I was too late to register to vote with the US embassy so I ended up not having to decide after all. Once in a while I would get a speech on Dubya and his policies, but they were just venting and not pointing a finger at me. By the way, I think it's hilarious that the Spaniards of all people think that they are in a position to label us as conquerers and blame us for trying to take over the world and put our noses in others' business. I'm not saying we don't do that. However, look who's pointing the finger. There is a reason many countries speak Spanish as a native language. Oh, and we weren't alone when the Natives were mistreated.

While I lived abroad, I got to meet a lot of people, especially immigrants trying to get papers in Spain. The South Americans I worked with laughed at me for trying to live in Spain. "We want to go to The United States, what the fuck are you here in Spain for, the arm pit of Europe ? We would do anything to live in the states, you are so lucky. " Many South Americans are getting EU passports to make it easier to live in the US. Many people from Argentina can easily get EU papers because their grandparents are from Europe. Some of the nicest people I met there were from South America.

The Dominican family I taught English to told me that they had to come to Spain because the United States wouldn't accept them. They told us our laws are too strict. I also saw Cubans. Now you know if we are 90 miles away and they are coming to Spain, instead of the US, that immigration laws have gotten tougher.

Anyway, for those of you that are American, be proud of it. And if you aren't, kiss an American today, lol.