OMG BFFs !

Hello There My Little Snozzleberries,

I was in San Francisco yesterday with my friends Ashleigh and Porkstar. We had a blast. We had a lot of fun in the city and we walked soooooo much.

Although we were polite to shopkeepers and cab drivers and tipped the waitstaff, we were obnoxious as tourists. We were loud and vulgar. Mommy would be so proud. Well, not really, but my dad would be.

When I am out alone I tend to be polite and quiet and keep to myself. When you throw in Ashleigh, I am loud and act like an ass to get a laugh out of her. I've embarrassed her on her birthday before.

And when you add Porkstar on top of that ? Well, any self control I thought I had, goes right out of the window.

Some of the stunts we pulled............

1.) Molesting three huge Christmas balls in the Financial District and taking pictures. No, I won't post them here.

2.) Porkstar is Colombian and has a thick accent. He asked if we could take a boat for a tour. I loudly asked why he would want to do that since he spent all that time coming over here on a boat ? The shocked looks from others in the crowd alone was worth it.

3.) Constantly running behind Ashleigh and Porkstar to spank them in public. It got to the point that Ashleigh would get scared everytime she heard my footsteps behind her.

4.) I burped loudly and tried to blame it on Porkstar.

5.) My favorite is when we were on the escalator. I was hugging Ashleigh from behind, and Porkstar was hugging me from behind. While we were doing this on the escalator going down to the Bart station I loudly proclaimed " BFFs coming through" !

6.) There were more, but I am not telling, not even what I did at Ghiradelli Square...............

Why am I sad ? Ashleigh had to work today and I just dropped off Porkstar at the airport. I'm gonna miss him :(

Basically, I will write more later but we did walk across the Golden Gate Bridge and we got some beautiful pictures out of it. We got up there just after sunset and walked across at night.

The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sun was out, we got beautiful pictures, spent a lot of time on the bridge and ate at Joes Crab Shack. Man that was good. Expensive, but worth it.

I can't complain. The weekend was a lot of fun.

More pictures and stories to come later. I also have a lot of other stuff in the mean time.

That is all for now........

Love, hugs, kisses and bridges,

Senorita

Feisty Friday

Dear Woman At The Gym,

You were on the elliptical machine next to me. We were both working up a storm. You were kinda panting with your mouth open. I get it, it was a tough work out. But please know that your machine wasn't that close to mine, and I could still smell your breath. N-A-S-T-Y !!! A little Listerine never killed anyone.

What the hell did you eat ? It smelled like rotted fish with a hint of fermented ass. Now I don't really know what fermented ass really smells like, but if I had to take a wild guess, I would say your piehole smells like asshole.

Fondly,

The girl next to you.


Dear lady on the treadmill talking on her cell phone...........

We were in a gym, not standing in line for lattes at Starbucks. I can understand a one minute conversation in the gym. But you spoke on your celly for 10 minutes talking about god knows what. I was trying to listen to my music, but I couldn't concentrate because you were louder. You were walking and talking.

FYI, it sounded like you were talking to a man, and that you two were barely getting to know each other. I suggest you put down that phone if you want to see more results, because I can tell that the treadmill wasn't doing much for you.

Either concentrate on the task at hand or yap someplace else. Or just hire a trainer.

Love,

Me


Dear contractor at my job site,

I don't mind talking to you to pass the time, but you are starting to get on my nerves.

1.) On your truck, you have a license plate holder that says "No fat chicks". Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ?????? What the hell ? If you were a woman, you would be one fat , hairy chick wearing a size fat-fuck.

2.) Please stop telling me about your sexual escapades. I am tired of hearing you trying to brag about all the chicks you banged and how they all liked it, and how they all just spread them for you. While we are at it, I am also tired of you telling me how your lady likes to get with other women and how she's always making out with other girls. You guys are just one big happy incestuous family. Please take the fondling lovenest stories somewhere else. Those images in my brain are just too much to bear. Not enough bleach in my house to get rid of those awful images.

I have some things to say to you:

-Women who scream like you say they are are are usually faking it.

-You keep telling me how you pick up chicks at bars, and how they want to go home with you. Lots and lots of chicks. The thing is, I know you are inflating the numbers a little. But I have also been paying attention to the details in each of your little escapades. You know what all these chicks have in common when you picked them up and banged them ? THEY WERE DRUNK. They were wearing beer goggles.  You also never told me what happened the morning after. Did they wake up and run ? Did they say they'd call you after getting you out of the house but never did ?

- No I don't want to bang you.

- When I tell you that you are full of shit, and that no girls did such things with you, I say with with a laugh, like I am joking. But really, I am serious.

Okay, that is all for now. See you around next week.

Sincerely,

The girl at work.

Room For Rent: Kink and Utilities Included

Hello There My Little Furry Handcuffs,

So I was perusing the housing section on Craigslist for rooms for rent and I gotta say that there are some interesting ads out there. The one I copied below definitely takes the cake. I have never seen anything like it.

As of now, the ad is still running, so these butch dykes (their words, not mine) haven't found their vanilla one the outside-freaky deaky woman on the inside yet. Are you a female ? Do you live in the SF Bay Area ? Are you a lady in public and a freak in private ? Do you like other women and can you take a beating ? Well, then you are in luck !

Here is the link to the real ad. Reply to this ad and see what you get. And then report back to me...........


http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/roo/1490960219.html


TITLE: kink friendly household seeks roommate


Yep, thought that would catch your eye. We are: butch dyke women living in a 4-plex in sunnyvale. the down stairs neighbors are Korean and have no clue. The house is in a nice quiet neighborhood, chimney smoke and kids leaving their toys on the lawn next door and off street parking and all that. we are also kinky, though something important to us is to keep everything related to kink for the home (or the dungeon, we are regulars at the locals). We tend to try to not bother the vanilla outside world. I am owned and collared to the women who owns the property and who will in a few months live next door with her other lover. I am a switch, although Im not necessarily looking for a live-in house slave or anything, that might be a bit awkward but really, who knows.. what I am looking for is a genuinely nice person who is kinky or kink friendly (who won't call the cops if s/he happens to hear someone being beaten soundly in the next room...it is always consensual). I just moved in a few days ago and the second bedroom is available immediately. bedroom is painted white and is carpeted with slate blue commercial grade carpet. rest of the house has hardwood floors, and we have a kind of enormous living room. kitchen is cozy. baking/cooking is a hobby of mine and the kitchen is definitely adequate. I have two medium sided dogs who are furry. you gotta be ok with dog hair. I do my best to keep it at bay but with an australian shepherd, it kinda goes places sometimes. I also have a parrot who is super cool and talks though she can occasionally be loud. unfortunately, this is the limit on animals. possibly a rat or something in an aquarium might be considered, but no snakes or spiders. pet animals are not part of kink ever. price for rent includes water and garbage pick up, though we have to split electric and gas bill. gas costs almost nothing though cause we don't use it. male or female acceptable though if you send me a naked pic of yourself I swear, I will delete you automatically. if you are a het male looking for a mistress, probably not going to work out either. if you are a passable vanilla looking person who has a wild naughty streak but who can hold down a regular job and pass a credit check and who likes dogs as pets, this may be just what you are looking for. lease is month to month at least for a while til we see how you'll work out.

The Thursday Thrust

Arise and Shine My Roosters !

Today's thrust is Penelope Cruz. I've been following her for almost a decade now. I think she is a talented actress and I also think she is beautiful. She is Spanish, and from Madrid. One thing I like about her is that she's not afraid to step out of the house with no makeup. She is clearly comfortable in her own skin.

My favorite film of hers is Vicky Christina Barcelona. I saw it when it came out last year, and I fell in love with it because I lived in Barcelona and saw the city all over again, I love Penelope Cruz, and I also love Javier Bardem.


So the question of the day to you my little crowing friends, is do you like Scarlett Johanson ? Of course you do......



Well, that is all for now. I'll see you next Thursday, as I have a few more up my sleeve.

Abrazos y besos !

Hump Day Hotness Hunk Time !

Hello My Little Godiva Chocolates.................


I'm back ! Thank you all for your lovely birthday wishes. You are all the best and me love you long time !

I told you I would be back with a big bang. Today I have a treat for you ladies. And gents, please be patient because tomorrow it's your turn and I will have a little something for you too.

Anyway, today I present you with this..............

THAT, my little Parisian macaroons, is Gilles Marini. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that he played Dante in the Sex and the City movie. Nor do I need to remind you about that shower scene.

Normally I am not a big fan of the French male species. But I will make an exception for this dish. I don't know much French, but for this hot piece of French meat, I am sure I could string together a Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir for him.

Yummy. Just look at that................

Rawr !

Did you know that earlier this year he was in Dancing With the Stars ? He is a good dancer. I love Cheryl Burke and think they made a great couple on the dance floor.

He has been married for ten years, but that doesn't stop me from gawking. His wife is not jealous, and she is his biggest fan. She wanted him to do Dancing with the Stars and does not mind that millions of women are gawking at her husband. That is because she thinks it makes him that much hotter. The more people lusting after him, the better.

So I am just doing my little part. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Okay, so that is all for now. See you tomorrow for the Thursday Thrust.

Love, hugs and French kisses,

Senorita