Friday, September 15, 2006

My Oma's funeral

Hello Everyone,

It's been exactly one week since the funeral. The ceremony was so beautiful. It was closed casket. No one carried the casket. Instead, they slowly rolled in on wheels to her grave. While they rolled the casket and we walked, Mozart was playing. It was beautiful and so sad. I cried and let the tears roll down my face. I remember when I was in the same cemetary with my grandma visiting my grandpa's grave. Now she is under the ground next to him.

So many people came to her funeral. It was nice to see that so many people loved my grandma, and I realized how lucky I was that she was my grandma. She used to help mentally handicapped patients and I saw a couple of them at her funeral. Her boyfriend is now going to take care of them, but I know that they miss her. How could they not.

I am so glad that I went to her funeral. It was my chance to say a proper goodbye to her and it was healing for me to put a rose on her casket. I dressed my best for her and wore her black scarf. I wanted her to know that I love her so much and that I hope I will see her again somehow.

I 've been thinking about her a lot, and I really want to live my life like her. I saw her pictures when she was younger and she was always smiling in the pictures. She was spunky and loved life, despite all the hardships she faced. She also loved my grandpa so much. After he passed away she eventually found Toni, her partner for the rest of her life. She was so happy around him. She was not afraid to fall in love. She always asked me if I had a boyfriend because she wanted me to experience love, like she did.

I hope to be active like she was. She volunteered her time with the mentally challenged, and the mountains. On the mountains she cooked meals for people hiking that stopped by to purchase a meal. I also loved that she traveled all over the world. She had so many friends.

But one thing I realized was that she made such an effort to be in our lives. She flew over here so many times to visit my mom, brother and me. I was looking at my baby pictures and she was holding me and smiling. She made sure I knew she was there for me. The nicest thing she did for me was send me to a German language school so that I could learn proper German so that I could communicate with her.

I wish I could hear her say my name once more or just one more laugh. I dreamed about her last night and it was so real. It was nice to see her again. It's the only way I can see her now.

I am okay with God taking her but I can't help wishing that I could have been there even five minutes before her death. I just wanted the chance to hug her and tell her I love her. Her death made me realize that our time is limited. I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye.



winivere2002 said...

Oh, Sandra. I am so happy that you got the opportunity to grieve for your grandma. When my grandpa died, everybody told me that I had to be strong for my mother. That was a mistake because I didnt get the opportunity to grieve for myself. I was closer to my grandfather than my mother was. It took me a whole year before I was able to say goodbye to him but he is never far from me because he is always in my heart. I accompany you through this difficult time and I send sweet prayers of love for your healing.

happinessdreams said...

Hi Sandra,
I'm really sorry about your grandma. She was really pretty when she was young. May God Bless her and may she rest in peace. That's a nice picture of you.