Protected by Copyscape DMCA Takedown Notice Violation Search

Friday, September 3, 2004

I finally grew some balls and stood up for myself

Hello Everyone,

Well, here I am at my computer again. I am supposed to be out with Mr. Prince Charming. But it's funny how things don't always work out the way we expect them, isn't it ?

Here's what happened: He called me many times and said that he wanted to see me before I left to San Sebastian. Okay, so I agreed to meet him at 6pm in front of my apartment tonite.

So, I get all dolled up and wait for him. And really, I was lookin' good. 30 minutes go by and he doesn't come. I send him a text and he doesn't respond. After an hour goes by, I finally do what I've been wanting to do all along: I sent him a message and told him that I have made new plans and that I don't want to see him anymore.

After he got my message he told me that he was still coming to see me and that he couldn't answer my calls before, and I told him it was too late. He told me not to be angry and wanted to know if we're still friends. I am not answering that for him. He'll just figure it out when I don't respond to his messages. He can text me all he wants, but I will always be "busy".

Do I really have plans now? No. I kinda lied to him. In fact, I have nothing to do tonite. I am too broke to go out and I will be alone here in the apartment. I will clean and pack. I would rather be here and bored than out with someone that can't treat me like the lady that I am. If I don't promote myself as someone that deserves respect, then no one will ever respect me.

I am happy that I am starting to stand up for myself. I have a long history of low self-esteem and putting up with men that don't respect me enough. I had a father that didn't give me enough affection as a girl, and I wanted it so bad. I also lived with a woman that put me down a lot. She put me down so much, that I started believing what she told me. I fight these feelings all the time, and I will continue to fight this probably for a long time. But at least right now I am winning some battles.

But will I win the war?

Anyways, I am craving some chocolate. And a lot of it.

Talk to y'all later.

Okay kids, time for your daily lesson on Spain

Hello Class !

Anyways, I am sure you've seen a lot of entries from me lately. Almost too many............ Yes, well the fact is ever since my Spanish class ended,  I have been home most of the time during the day, cherishing the time I have left with my laptop and fast internet service.

I am moving to a new city this weekend and I don't know how much internet access I will have, or if I can even use my own laptop there. So, I have been writing a lot so I'll have a lot of entries to look back on some day.

Okay, on to the Spanish lesson of the day..............................

As you can see, I've posted different pictures. The first one is of Spain and it's various regions. I have been staying in Barcelona, which is part of Cataluna (or Catalonia, can't remember the correct spelling). Here, people speak Catalan and Spanish and refer to themselves as "Catalans" . Pic #2 is of the Spanish flag and Pic #3 is of the Catalan flag.

On Sunday I will be moving to the region, Pais Vasco. It is a Basque region and people there speak Basque and Spanish. By the way, the food there rocks !! I think it's the best food I've ever tasted.

People that have never visited Spain, think that Catalan is a dialect. It is not, and it is a completely different language, even though it is a little similar to Spanish. In fact the fastest way to piss these people off is to tell them that Catalan is a dialect of Spanish.  The Catalans here are very proud of their culture.Throughout history, leaders have tried to forbid people from speaking Catalan, and forced them to speak Spanish, especially when Franco, the dictator of Spain during WWII was in power. Many older people still have terrible memories of the times when he was in power. The Catalan culture is alive and strong today.

 All the signs here are in Catalan, and sometimes Spanish. Little children here grow up speaking only Catalan at home, and learn Spanish when they start going to school. I met 2 little girls, who are cousins to my roommate. They only spoke Catalan. I couldn't even speak to them in Spanish.

On another note, I was watching the news today. I am happy that I am starting to finally understand whole phrases. Yeah ! I still have a long way to go, but hey, I am getting better.

The images shown here are much more graphic than in the US news. For example, if a US news reporter is talking about the war in Iraq, usually only images of soldiers marching, or military planes are shown. Bloodshed is rarely shown. Maybe one bloody man is shown in a hospital. Here, the news is another story. I saw so much more blood.

The media in the US are pussies. I am sorry, but we need to see the truth. The US invaded Iraq, and US soldiers are fighting. We, the taxpayers should be seeing what our men and women fighting are going through and where our $87 billion dollars are going. We're so sheltered.

I also saw images of the kidnappings in Russia. I saw soldiers carrying little babies carried out into cars. I saw dead bodies lined up against a wall with rags over their faces. I saw things happening in action. I saw soldiers invading homes with guns. I wanted to cry. This world is such a messed up place.

 If the media in the US started publishing atrocious images, I know a lot of people would be complaining. I am sure many parents would complain because they don't want their little ones to see such ugliness. But these same children will have to face the truth someday. Maybe I don't know what I am talking about. I don't have children, and I am not a parent struggling to raise a child the best way possible in a messed up world like this.

But I can speak for myself as a child. My parents didn't sugarcoat everything. Sometimes we talked about issues on the news, and I think it was good for me.

We need to have the shit scared out of us sometimes and see how other people live. Why ? For one, it makes us thank our lucky stars to be living in the US and it makes us more appreciative of what we have. Another reason is because it could happen to us someday. Unlikely ? Maybe, but it's not impossible. I don't know.

On the news, I also heard more sad news about the hurricane in Florida. I hope that people don't get hurt. I will be praying. I have some family there and I hope that they are all safe.

 Speaking of natural disaster, CA is known for it's earthquakes. We haven't had any major earthquakes in a while, and I know we're due for another big one any day now. That's where most of my family is and I hope that day doesn't come for a while.

Anywho, today's entry wasn't particularly happy, but I am sure I'll have something nicer to write about tommorow. I hope y'all enjoy your weekend.

Ciao.

 

 

Thursday, September 2, 2004

Good ole' U S of A (This is gonna be a long one, got lots to say )

Hello Everyone,

This article is taken straight from CNN. I don't know how to put it behind a cut, so i just pasted it here. If you have suggestions of how to do it next time, please let me know.

I normally don't just put other people's words directly on my journal unless it moves me. This article moves me.  It reminds me of my mother. My mother and Arnold have a very similar story. Hell, I am surprised the two aren't related.

She, like Arnold, immigrated to the United States from Austria at an early age. She just knew that she wanted to come to the United States and make a new life for herself. She came and studied, and became the valedictorian of her class. She knew that if she didn't keep a certain GPA she would be sent back home. She had a dream and she saw it through. And she told me that the day she became a US citizen was the best day of her life. "I'm an American," she says. She still loves Austria and drools when I bring back Austrian chocolates and German crossword puzzles, but this is her home. She even thinks in English, Speaks English with an Austrian accent and speaks German with a bad American accent, just like Arnold.

Please remember I didn't post this article for political reasons, and I am SO not interested in political debates. You have your views and I have mine. I am still very undecided myself on a lot of issues myself. If you don't like the part about President Bush, just skip it. I did.

But the point of this article is that if people have a dream, America is the land of opportunity. Yes, there are flaws with the USA, but I still think we are doing well in comparison with other countries.

I am from California. We are a state filled with immigrants, and they keep on coming. I read stories about people from Mexico crossing the border, risking starvation, disease and death just to have the chance to work and earn money for their familes. I have talked to my coworkers from other countries and have learned their stories of why they came to the US. Everyone has their reasons as to why they come.

If you visit Washington D.C, you will also see that every citizen can talk to their congressman.  Yeah, yeah, I am fully aware that corporations with dollars get priority over people like you and I. But at least I still have that little chance to talk to someone. And if enough of us believe in something, we have a better chance of changing the laws. It has happened.

When people here ask me where I am from, I don't hide behind the Canadian flag. I smile, and say "Los Estados Unidos". Though I don't agree with Bush and the war in Iraq, I still believe in my country. Yeah, I would love to have a European passport because I have family here and would like to live and work here. But, I would never give up my American passport.

And now, on to the article.................

NEW YORK (CNN) -- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, an immigrant, Tuesday night addressed the Republican National Convention where he spoke of the greatness of America. Schwarzenegger, born in Austria, is a former actor and body builder. Here is a transcript of his remarks:

Thank you very much. Thank you. What a greeting. What a greeting. Wow. This is like winning an Oscar -- as if I would know.

Speaking of acting, one of my movies was called "True Lies." And that's what the Democrats should have called their convention.

You know, on the way up here to the podium, a gentleman came up to me and said, "Governor, you are as good a politician as you were an actor." What a cheap shot.

Cannot believe it.

Anyway, my fellow Americans, this is an amazing moment for me. To think that a once-scrawny boy from Austria could grow up to become governor of the state of California and then stand here...

... then stand here in Madison Square Garden and speak on behalf of the president of the United States -- that is an immigrant's dream.

It is the American dream.

You know, I was born in Europe and I've traveled all over the world. And I can tell you that there is no place, no country, more compassionate, more generous, more accepting and more welcoming than the United States of America.

As long as I live, I will never forget that day 21 years ago when I raised my right hand and took the oath of citizenship. Do you know how proud I was? I was so proud that I walked around with an American flag around my shoulders all day long.

Tonight, I want to talk to you about why I'm even more proud to be an American -- why I'm proud to be a Republican -- and why I believe this country is in good hands.

When I was a boy, the Soviets occupied part of Austria.

I saw their tanks in the streets. I saw Communism with my own eyes. I remember the fear we had when we had to cross into the Soviet sector.

Growing up, we were told, "Don't look the soldiers in the eye. Just look straight ahead." It was a common belief that Soviet soldiers could take a man out of his own car and ship him back to the Soviet Union as slave labor.

Now, my family didn't have a car. But one day we were in my uncle's car. It was near dark as we came to the Soviet checkpoint. I was a little boy. I was not an action hero back then.

But I remember. I remember how scared I was that the soldiers would pull my father or my uncle out of the car and I would never see them again. My family and so many others lived in fear of the Soviet boot. Today, the world no longer fears the Soviet Union, and it is because of the United States of America.

As a kid I saw the socialist country that Austria became after the Soviets left. Now, don't misunderstand me, I love Austria, and I love the Austrian people.

But I always knew America was the place for me. In school, when the teacher would talk about America, I would daydream about coming here. I would daydream about living here. I would sit there and watch for hours American movies transfixed by my heroes like John Wayne.

Everything about America seemed so big to me, so open, so possible.

I finally arrived here in 1968. What a special day it was. I remember I arrived here with empty pockets but full of dreams, full of determination, full of desire.

The presidential campaign was in full swing. I remember watching the Nixon-Humphrey presidential race on TV. A friend of mine who spoke German and English translated for me. I heard Humphrey saying things that sounded like socialism, which I had just left.

But then I heard Nixon speak. Then I heard Nixon speak. He was talking about free enterprise, getting the government off your back, lowering the taxes and strengthening the military.

Listening to Nixon speak sounded more like a breath of fresh air.

I said to my friend, I said, "What party is he?"

My friend said, "He's a Republican."

I said, "Then I am a Republican."

And I have been a Republicanever since. And trust me -- and trust me -- in my wife's family, that's no small achievement.

But I am proud to be with the party of Abraham Lincoln, the party of Teddy Roosevelt, the party of Ronald Reagan, and the party of George W. Bush.

To my fellow immigrants listening tonight, I want you to know how welcome you are in this party. We Republicans admire your ambition. We encourage your dreams. We believe in your future.

And one thing I learned about America is that if you work hard and if you play by the rules, this country is truly open to you. You can achieve anything.

Everything I have, my career, my success, my family, I owe to America.

In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any difference who your parents were. It doesn't make any difference if you're like me and couldn't even speak English until you were in your 20s. America gave me opportunities, and my immigrant dreams came true.

I want other people to get the same chances I did, the same opportunities. And I believe they can. That's why I believe in this country, that's why I believe in this party, and that's why I believe in this president.

Now, many of you out there tonight are Republican like me in your hearts and in your beliefs. Maybe you're from Guatemala. Maybe you're from the Philippines. Maybe you're from Europe or the Ivory Coast. Maybe you live in Ohio, Pennsylvania or New Mexico.

And maybe -- just maybe -- you don't agree with this party on every single issue. I say to you tonight that I believe that's not only OK, but that's what's great about this country.

Here we can respectfully disagree and still be patriotic, still be American and still be good Republicans.

My fellow immigrants, my fellow Americans, how do you know if you are a Republican? Well, I tell you how. If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government, then you are a Republican.

If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group, then you are a Republican.

If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does, then you are a Republican.

If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children, then you are a Republican.

If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is thebest hope for democracy, then you are aRepublican.

And, ladies and gentlemen, if you believe that we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism, then you are a Republican.

Now, there's another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people and faith in the U.S. economy. And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie-men.

The U.S. economy remains the envy of the world. We have the highest economic growth of any of the world's major industrialized nations. Don't you remember the pessimism of 20 years ago, when the critics said Japan and Germany are overtaking the U.S.? Ridiculous.

Now, they say that India and China are overtaking us. Don't you believe it. We may hit a few bumps, but America always moves ahead. That's what Americans do.

We move prosperity ahead.

We move prosperity ahead. We move freedom ahead. And we move people ahead.

And under President Bush and Vice President Cheney, America's economy is moving ahead in spite of a recession they inherited and in spite of the attack on our homeland.

Now, the other party says that we have two Americas. Don't you believe that either. I have visited our troops in Iraq, Kuwait, Bosnia, Germany, and all over the world. I've visited our troops in California, where they train before they go overseas. I have visited our military hospitals. And I tell you this, that our men and women in uniform do not believe there are two Americas. They believe we are one America, and they are fighting for it.

We are one America, and President Bush is defending it with all his heart and soul.

That's what I admire most about the president. He's a man of perseverance. He's a man of inner strength. He is a leader who doesn't flinch, who doesn't waiver, and does not back down.

My fellow Americans, make no mistake about it: Terrorism is more insidious than Communism, because it yearns to destroy not just the individual, but the entire international order.

The president did not go into Iraq because the polls told him it was popular. As a matter of fact, the polls said just the opposite. But leadership isn't about polls.

It's about making decisions you think are right and then standing behind those decisions.

That's why America is safer with George W. Bush as president.

He knows you don't reason withterrorists. You defeat them. He knows you can't reason with people blinded by hate. You see, they hate the power of the individual. They hate the progress of women. They hate the religious freedom of others. And they hate the liberating breeze of democracy.

But, ladies and gentlemen, their hate is no match for America's decency.

We are the America that sends out the Peace Corps volunteers to teach our village children. We are the America that sends out the missionaries and doctors to raise up the poor and the sick.

We are the America that gives more than any other country to fight AIDS in Africa and the developing world.

And we are the America that fights not for imperialism, but for human rights and democracy.

You know, when the Germans brought down the Berlin Wall, America's determination helped wield the sledgehammers. And when that lone, young Chinese man stood in front of those tanks in Tiananmen Square, America stood with him. And when Nelson Mandela smiled in election victory after all those years in prison, America celebrated, too.

We are still the lamp lighting the world, especially those who struggle. No matter in what labor camp they slave, no matter in what injustice they're trapped, they hear our call. They see our light. And they feel the pull of our freedom.

They come here, as I did, because they believe -- they believe in us. They come because their hearts say to them, as mine did, "If only I can get to America." You know, someone once wrote, "There are those who say that freedom is nothing but a dream." They are right. It's the American dream.

No matter the nationality, no matter the religion, no matter the ethnic background, America brings out the best in people.

And as governor -- as governor of the great state of California, I see the best in Americans every day.

I see the best in Americans every day, our police, our firefighters, our nurses, doctors and teachers, our parents.

And what about the extraordinary men and women who have volunteered to fight for the United States of America?

I have such great respect for them and their heroic families.

Let me tell you about the sacrifice and the commitment that I have seen first-hand. In one of the military hospitals I visited, I met a young guy who was in bad shape. He'd lost a leg, he had a hole through his stomach, and his shoulder had been shot through. And the list goes on and on and on.

I could tell that there was no way he could ever return to combat. But when I asked him, "When do you think you'll get out of the hospital?" He said, "Sir, in three weeks."

And do you know what he said to me then? He said he was going to get a new leg, and then he was going to get some therapy, and then he was going to go back to Iraq and fight alongside his buddies.

And you know what he said to me then? You know what he said to me then?

He said, "Arnold, I'll be back."

Well, ladies and gentlemen, America is back -- back from the attack on our homeland, back from the attack on our economy, and back from the attack on our way of life. We're back because of the perseverance, character and leadership of the 43rd president of the United States, George W. Bush.

My fellow Americans, I want you to know that I believe with all my heart that America remains the great idea that inspires the world. It's a privilege to be born here. It's an honor to become a citizen here. It's a gift to raise your family here, to vote here, and to live here.

Our president, George W. Bush, has worked hard to protect and preserve the American dream for all of us. And that's why I say, send him back to Washington for four more years.

SCHWARZENEGGER and audience: Four more years. Four more years. Four more years. Four more years. Four more years. Four more years.

SCHWARZENEGGER: Thank you, America. Thank you, and God bless you all.

More random thoughts .................

Hello Everyone,

Lemme first say that I hate AO-Hell. I was logging on my journal today and I notice that they lost all of my pictures for this week. So I go to repost them again, and it won't let me. WTF is up with that ??? I worked really hard to post them.

I also hate them for other reasons. When I bought my new laptop, I was allowed 6 months of free service from AOL or Earthlink. (Why the hell didn't I just chose Earthlink?) Anyways, AOL didn't feel that I was entitled to the free six months, because I was already a user. Nevermind that I paid the same price for my Dell as everyone else.

But yes I am still with them, and have been for 5 years now. I didn't really have problems with them until this year. I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing my e-mail address before I came all the way over here to Spain. And by the time I was fed up with them, I already had a lot of entries in my blog here.

Anywho, moving along, I got other things to talk about................

I am sure you noticed that I posted a picture of Shakira. I love her to death. She is half Columbian and half Lebanese. She is also a wonderful bellydancer. I love learning Spanish and bellydance. She also can play a lot of instruments, and I love it when she mixes in rock music. I have her DVD so I love watching her bellydance to traditional Egyptian music in one song and then rock her head back and forth to rock music while she's playing the guitar in the next song. I also love her because she does a lot of good for her community. My roommate told me she is helping some of the poorest children in her community get a good education.

Speaking of Shakira, I miss taking bellydance lessons. I don't have enough money for lessons, so sometimes I just practice when I am alone in my room. I also miss performing for others. My roommates found out my passion for bellydance and keep asking me to dance when they bring family over. So, at least I am getting some practice.

What else ? Oh yeah ! I almost forgot to tell you that we had a huge thunder and lightening storm, with a lot of pouring rain last night. It was so loud and piercing. I am just glad that my roommate was here. The lightening even hit the tree in front of our apartment, but there was no fire because it was raining. Okay, I have experienced strong thunder and lightening before, but never like this. I was a little scared.

I also bought my train ticket to San Sebastian last night. Perhaps I could have taken the bus for about 10 Euros cheaper, but I decided to shell out a little extra for the train. Being on a bus for 7 hours really sucks because the seats are small and it is hard to rest my head. It can also be bad when there is traffic on the roads. Plus the reststops they ususally stop at are NASTY.

Though the train ride is just as long, it won't be as bad. Plus there is a chance that I can possibly get some rest.

Anyways, I think I have enough thoughts for the day. In the mean time, I will be trying to figure out what happened to my pictures...................

Ciao.

 

 

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

More Thoughts from a girl in Spain..............

Hello Everyone,

Wow ! It is the first day of September. I came to Europe a week before summer officially started. And now, it's almost over........................ And before you know it my birthday will come and go.  This year sure went by fast, and was a truly special one for me indeed.

I feel so lazy today, and I spend a lot of time online. It's such an addiction for me because it's my only main connection to my life (or the life I had ) back in the United States.

 I still need to go shopping for food and buy my train ticket to San Sebastian. I think that I should be moving on Sunday. Speaking of which, packing will be interesting. I dunno how I am gonna fit all my shit into the luggage. Plus there is no elevator here and all I have is windy stairway. I remember moving in. THAT was a nightmare. I am just glad I am not on the fifth floor.

 All I gotta say is that I hate the train station. Buying tickets there can be just as bad as going to the DMV in a big city sometimes. And you probably think I am exagerating (did I spell that right?). Last time I went, I took a number and waited over an hour to be helped, only to be told that tickets were all sold out. But that's a different story.

Anyways, I really better be going now. I hope y'all enjoy your Labor Day weekend coming up.............................

Ciao.