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Friday, September 3, 2004

I finally grew some balls and stood up for myself

Hello Everyone,

Well, here I am at my computer again. I am supposed to be out with Mr. Prince Charming. But it's funny how things don't always work out the way we expect them, isn't it ?

Here's what happened: He called me many times and said that he wanted to see me before I left to San Sebastian. Okay, so I agreed to meet him at 6pm in front of my apartment tonite.

So, I get all dolled up and wait for him. And really, I was lookin' good. 30 minutes go by and he doesn't come. I send him a text and he doesn't respond. After an hour goes by, I finally do what I've been wanting to do all along: I sent him a message and told him that I have made new plans and that I don't want to see him anymore.

After he got my message he told me that he was still coming to see me and that he couldn't answer my calls before, and I told him it was too late. He told me not to be angry and wanted to know if we're still friends. I am not answering that for him. He'll just figure it out when I don't respond to his messages. He can text me all he wants, but I will always be "busy".

Do I really have plans now? No. I kinda lied to him. In fact, I have nothing to do tonite. I am too broke to go out and I will be alone here in the apartment. I will clean and pack. I would rather be here and bored than out with someone that can't treat me like the lady that I am. If I don't promote myself as someone that deserves respect, then no one will ever respect me.

I am happy that I am starting to stand up for myself. I have a long history of low self-esteem and putting up with men that don't respect me enough. I had a father that didn't give me enough affection as a girl, and I wanted it so bad. I also lived with a woman that put me down a lot. She put me down so much, that I started believing what she told me. I fight these feelings all the time, and I will continue to fight this probably for a long time. But at least right now I am winning some battles.

But will I win the war?

Anyways, I am craving some chocolate. And a lot of it.

Talk to y'all later.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Applause! Applause!
There you go, girl. NEVER let a man treat you that way. And remember, if they do before you even get close to a serious committment, what will they do afterwards? I'll tell you, multiply their bad habits by 1000 and that is what life would be like with them. The problem today is men can get any woman they want whenever they want. That old saying about getting the milk for free still holds up.
I think you did a great thing!

Angela

Anonymous said...

Good for you!!! I hate when guys do that! (What a weenie). It's better to be alone with some chocolate & have your self respect then be out with a big dork who treats you bad. Just make sure not to over-do it with the sweets, or you'll end up like me....watching pilates info-mercials & wondering how it all went wrong. (Joke....kind of) ~Ann : ) http://journals.aol.com/ann7inflorida/Thelittlethings/entries/805