Hello All,

Well, like last weekend this weekend will be dark, cloudy and rainy. I really wish that we could have the sunshine back.

I went to a cafe to have lunch and when I nicely asked the lady for a meal she looked at me and said "no" with a mean face. I asked her if she doesn´t serve lunch and she said they serve food after 1pm. I turned around and cursed at her in English under my breath. Go ahead and lecture me how I was wrong, but I am sick of getting treated like this. I bet she was probably lying, expecially since she was busy talking to another lady. This is not the first time.

I am sick of the people here sometimes. When you go shopping they act like THEY are doing you the favor and most of the time don´t bother to help you. When I am on the metro they just push me aside without saying "excuse me" and look at me like it was my fault for being in the way. The taxi drivers don´t even bother to be polite, neither are the waiters.

What they don´t realize is that a lot of money coming into the city comes from foreigners and tourists. And they don´t give a shit. The work mentality here is "tommorow, tommorow".

And then they complain about the competition. Chinese people are setting up businesses here, and business is also taken overseas. The Chinese shop owners are so much nicer than the Catalans.

I also don´t understand them sometimes because they want us foreigners to get to know their culture and learn Catalan, but they do all their advertising in Catalan. Maybe they should advertise their Catalan classes in English or Spanish. Perhaps when they perform in the street they should ask for money in Spanish or English so we understand exactly that they want money. Many foreigners here don´t speak Catalan. And because of their attitude against foreigners , the foreingers don´t want to learn. I can´t blame them.

I don´t dislike Catalan people. They are just more difficult to get to know and very nationalistic. They think that their culture is the best. They generally won´t really make an effort to get to know you. You have to make the effort to get to know them. However, if you make a Catalan friend, you have a faithful friend for life. Ask any Catalan and they´ll tell you exactly what I just said.

One one hand, I can understand their attitude against foreigners. Catalonia is their region and the Spanish government has been trying to erase their language and culture throughout history. They have always had to fight to preserve their culture. I can understand that they may feel invaded when foreigners move in and don´t make an effort to learn their culture. However, this is 2005, not 1895. People are immigrating all over, not just to Spain. Besides, Spain needs the immigrants that are coming over for labour. The Spaniards and Catalans are´t gonna be the ones to mop the floors and pick fruit.

When you deal with the Catalan public it can be difficult, and they are demanding and short. But when I talk to Catalan people individually and ask them about Catalan culture they are nice.

Okay, enough ranting. Speaking of Catalans I have a Catalan student for English this evening. I read an article that it is easier for Catalans to learn English from Americans rather than the British. I agree. I taught pronounciation yesterday and the guy had an easier time pronouncing the words with an American accent instead of a British one.

Okay, Ciao.

Hello All,

I have a Spanish class in a few minutes and I feel so lazy. But I will go because I really need to improve my grammar.

The death of the Pope touched me in ways that I didn´t expect. So many followers and people of different faiths are coming to celebrate the man he was. I don´t agree with all his issues, but we ceratinly could have had worse. I think that people of different religions should come together and not be separated by their particular views on God. So many people are in the Vatican City right now. So many young people were touched by him. I saw an article in the paper today where the people in the Vatican advised young people to stay at home and watch this on TV instead of coming in person to see the pope. I wondered why they targeted the message at only young people ? I didn't think that was very fair.

Anyways, better go to class.

An Open Letter to a Friend

Dear Jorge, (Names protected of course)

Look, I am not going behind your back by writing this on my journal because I have told you all of this to your face over and over again. If you think that what I am saying to you is news, then you really haven´t been paying attention to me.

You and I used to be roommates and we are good friends. I really don't trust men, but I trust you somewhat. You were an awesome roommate. You and your mother took good care of me when I was bedridden with the flu during Christmas. You have went out of your way to help me learn Spanish, introduced me to your family you always offered to help me when I needed it and never asked for anything in return, until recently.

What you wanted in return for all the help was me. For whatever reason, I am not interested in going out with you. I told you all the reasons. At first I tried to blow you off when you came home. Then I started scheduling things on the weekend to get out of the house. You didn´t take the hints. Fine, I didn't really expect you to.

At first I didn´t know how to approach this because no one has ever chased after me as much as you have. And I didn´t want to just flat out tell you that I didn't wanna go out with you because we lived together and the last time I told a guy that, he insulted me. So I didn´t want to offend you and have to live with the consequences every day. 

Then one day I worked up the nerve and told you that " I am sorry, but I don't feel the same way about you as you do about me." And then you told me that you really didn´t mean it when you said that you had feelings for me on New Years Day. You meant that you care for me as a sister. I knew you were lying, but I pretended to buy it because I didn´t want to argue. So after that talk, I thought we agreed we were just friends.

So then what happens? You shaved off your ugly goatee for me ( I NEVER asked you to do that). You practically woke up at the same time I did in the mornings to talk to me. You made plans with me to go to the movies or for a drink on the weekends. And I DID go because I always used to go with you before you developed feelings for me and I didn't just wanna be a flat out bitch. Don't you think that calling me at 9pm a couple of nights to see if I was alright was too much? I told you one night I would be home at 11pm. I came home at 12am. Holy Jesus ! You woulda thought I was turning tricks for cash. I came home and you were smoking a cigarrette out of nervousness and told me how worried you were.And for the first time I yelled at you and told you that I am not a child and that I have every right to do what I want. And you appologized.

One day I realized that I couldn't live like this. I like hanging out with you but I don't like spending every waking moment with you. I want to be alone sometimes and your constant presence was starting to irritate me. And I was tired of pretending to be happy when you were around. So I got a little grumpy around you.

So I moved out. And you helped me and supported me. Thank you. And you kept asking me to move back in. And I said no. The answer is still no. Thankfully you really don´t ask me anymore. I wish you would rent out the room instead of turning down every person that looks at it.

One weekend after I kept telling you I wanted to be alone I did end up going to a movie with you after you insisted and I did have fun. Then you tried to kiss me and I pushed you away. You were upset. And I firmly let you know that we were just friends. And guess what happened the next time I saw you ? You brushed me off as I tried to talk to you. I probably deserved that.

Easter holiday. I was going to spend the weekend alone and to be honest I would have been just fine. But you called me and invited to go with you and your friends. You insisted and told me not to worry about the money because I told you I was broke. You told me that you were gonna come pick me up at my apartment on Friday no matter what. You made a stink and told me that you were gonna be upset if I didn't go. So I went. I did have fun, but not too much. Although I loved Costa Brava I didn´t really fit in with your friends, and I hated the fact that you smoked the WHOLE time. Really, looking back I woulda been just fine at home.

Friday took the cake. You had a bad feeling and you had a premonition that something happened to me. You called my mobile and I never got the calls. So you skipped the first few hours of work and came ALL the way down to my job and told the secretary to look for me. You were about to just walk in. You KNOW how secretive my job is. You know I could have gotten fired for you showing up. Well, your premonition was wrong. I was working and giggling with my coworkers. It was someone else in your family that went to the hospital. I am glad he is doingwell now.

And I let you know how I felt. I did yell at but I got over it. You called me later to say you were sorry and I got over it. But then you got upset that I was upset about you showing up. Guess what? That is not my problem. Did you expect me to pat you on the back?

 I never asked you do that. You came on your own free will. Please, you are NOT my father. I don´t need another. I have 2 already. Not even my fathers are protective as you are. Please, I live in Barcelona, not Los Angeles. Not the Bronx. Huge difference.

And the list goes on......................

Part of this is my fault. I should never have moved in with a man. Who knows I would bet that a lot of men reading this might think that I am a cocktease. I must really seem like an asshole. But guess what ? I NEVER made a move on you and I ALWAYS told you we were just friends.So you helped me out a lot. You offered to help me a lot. You know what? I always told you that you never had to do that. I almost never asked you for help. You always offered. So, I don't owe you anything.

 Maybe I should have been a bitch, earlier but we were friends before this happened and I didn't just want to push away our friendship because I do like who you are. You are an intelligent, good person and many people say nice things about you. Other than this venting I don't have a lot of negative things to say about you. But please, I am looking forward to going home to CA because of this and I wish that you would leave me alone for a weekend and not take it so personal when I don't want to spend time with you.

This weekend is your birthday and I bought you a nice gift. I will spend Sunday with you. But I hope you understand when I tell you that I am "busy" next weekend.

You are probably upset at me. Thats your right. I don't want to lose our friendship. But to tell you the truth, if it comes down to that I won't be too bothered. I am just too tired of this. Being nice doesn't work. Don't you think that I woulda called you if I were interetsted? You ever notice how I NEVER called you to make plans ? Huh, imagine that.

I used to be nice and polite but I am not gonna sugarcoat things anymore. If I have to I will be the asshole. If I have to I will just stop being your friend. Call me heartless and tell everyone how I hurt you. But guess what ? We never went out and I NEVER cheated you or deceived you. Remember that I ALWAYS told you where I stand. You just refused to believe that I was not interested in you as a girlfriend.

Your Friend,

S.G

Hello,

Well, I just got done taking a little Spanish exam. Reminds me of my days at the university. Normal Spanish classes will resume on Wednesday. My Spanish speaking skills have improved a lot since I came here, but my writing skills are still una buta mierda.

I came here to the internet hoping that my friends of parents would be signed on so that I could chat a little. But NO ONE is signed on. Such luck.

I saw the Pope's body on TV and I have been thinking a lot about it lately. Seeing his body on TV made me realize that we all have our time, and that life is short. He looked like he was sleeping, but I still felt like he was still in the room. But no matter how loud someone shouts or how hard someone shakes him he won't respond. He's dead. His soul is gone. I fear the day that I have to go to a family funeral and face the same thing with a loved one. I know what I am saying sounds so silly, but I am young and still don't understand death, and I don't want to but it's a part of life.

Anyways, April is moving along and it is still a little chilly outside. I am waiting for warmer weather to arrive.

I have boy drama but I will leave that for another day: Boy do I have a lot to write about that.

Ciao.

May the Pope Rest in Peace

Hello,

I have to admit that I never go to church and I don't like to. I don´t like organized religion very much. I especially didn´t like the Catholic church after reading about the scandals in the news. No disrespect to anyone.

And while the Pope was alive I really wasn´t interested in him either. But now that I am reading about his life after he died, I really wish that I could have payed more attention. Although I don't agree with all of his beliefs ( women as religious leaders, abortion and birth control) I really loved that he was a man for world peace and tried to bring different religions together. He was a good man overall, and I am sorry that his time has come.

I just hope that the next Pope will continue to promote peace, which is what I believe God would really want.

I didn´t expect to feel sad about his death because I never payed attention when he was on the news and I never cared what he was about because he was the head of the Catholic Church. But now I realize that there was a lot of good in the Catholic Church.