Hello there my lovelies,

I have to admit. I still feel like crap. My stomach is all tense and I don't want to eat anything. Luckily I ate a lot yesterday because I was hungry. I really need someone to talk to. I talked to a couple of friends yesterday and they made me feel better. But going to bed is the worst because I can't sleep and I wake up very early.

I just feel so alone. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I feel like I am starting not to care about life anymore. I need to get out of bed and clean my room. I think I may start to feel better if I clean up my room a little.

I have a lot more to say, but I am gonna stop here for now.

I swear. In a past life I must have walked all over men and broken so many hearts. Because in this life I feel like I am getting payback. For every good moment I have it is followed up by 5 awful ones. I don't know how long this will continue. And I haven't even done anything wrong. I've never stomped on a man's heart.

Today was awful. I don't want to talk about it here in public. I feel so alone and I feel pain right now. I also lost my appetite.

I also have the worst luck in finding a job.

Anyways, I am done for now.

Ciao.

I just feel really depressed and I can't take it anymore.

Work and Dance

Hello there my lovelies,

It's official. I am tired of my current job. I can't hide it anymore. I still take pride in what I do and I still work my ass off. But I am just beat and tired. I applied for a position within the company that might transfer me to Puerto Rico. They want to open up new branches there. But let's be honest. There are hundreds of candidates and only 6 can go. I am sure that there are people FROM Puerto Rico that work at for the company that they'll hire. I put my name in because I figure it's worth a shot. What have I got to lose? The guy in charge sent me an email to tell me he got my resume and will contact me if I'm qualified. His number is there in the mail so I figured I should give him a call on Monday.

What else ? I have a bellydance fair here in San Jose on Sept 24th that I am rehearsing for on Sunday. I am gonna start practicing with my old troupe again. I will be dancing with the sword with another gal.

I really prefer to dance with the sword alone. I like to hog the attention. Either that or I prefer to dance with my best friend/dance partner Mary because she taught me the sword and we have good chemistry on stage. But oh well. I just wanna get out there and work it.

I really enjoyed performing at the last bellydance fair because all eyes were on me. I was on stage with other girls. A few danced with veils and a few had another sword. But I was the only one on the floor with a sword on my head and people loved it. I miss that.

Anyways, thats all for now. I am gonna go get ready for some dance practice.

Ciao.

Broken

Hello there my lovelies,

I am annoyed. My CD player in my car is broken. So is the CD player in my room. The air conditioning in the house is also busted. Not to mention that there is no hot water because my roommate turned it off. The weather is cooling down so taking a shower and washing my long hair with cold water is uncomfortable. Today I boiled a pot of water so I could take a warm bath. Did I also mention that my microwave is busted?  I have to boil water and use the oven instead. I lived like this while I was in Spain.

But its not so bad.

Anyways, just thought I would share.

Bye for now.

Barcelona Connect

Hello there again my lovelies,

I was in one of my old email accounts I used while I lived in Barcelona and I was sent a link of the magazine that I used to religiously read while I was there. It's called Barcelona Connect and it's in English. www.barcelonaconnect.com.

I collected these magazines and still have them here in my room. They were free, colorful and full of information in English. For once, I didn't have to struggle to understand what I was reading. There were stories with beautiful pictures that talked about Barcelona culture, notices of events and publis services.

I can still read the magazine online. But nothing beats having that big, glossy magazine in my hands.

While I was living there there was also a free newspaper called Catalan today. It was available at every newsstand and it was easy to find. It was also free and talked about important issues such as Spain voting in the EU elections, immigration, and Catalan culture. I read that paper religiously. Unfortunately some dipshit decided to publish it only once a week, sell it in select newsstands and charge for it. But I still loved it.

Reading that magazine online brings back memories of why I love that city. Language schools are cheap, parties are plentiful, people are happy in general and how could I forget the nightclubs and beaches.