This never fails to make me laugh :)

Little Update

Okay, in my last entry I said I was fascinated by Sylvia Browne because of what I saw on TV and also because I read parts of one of her books. And also because she was such a big tipper and great customer.

Then I did a little research on her and realized that I am no longer fascinated. I realized that she defrauded people out of their money. People that just needed answers and hope. And she took advantage of that.

I still believe in reincarnation and the possibility of cell memory. But I don't believe in her. I believe that she may indeed have a gift, but that she is using it the wrong way.

Reincarnation

Hello,

I have been reading some interesting topics lately. I went to the bookstore and read books on Sylvia Brown. That woman fascinates me. When I was a waitress I served her and her husband twice. And both times in the back of the restaurant. I looked at her and hoped that she would read my mind and know that I was interested in her and hoped she could figure it out. I didn't say anything to her both times out of respect and I wanted her to enjoy her meal. I guess if I asked her something she probably would have answered. But at the time I was in my very early twenties and didn't really have any pressing questions. I left her alone and let her eat in peace. She tipped me fat though. I was appreciative of her generosity and felt like she was a kind person.

Now, I wish I could go back in time and ask her questions. She has written a lot of books and I gathered she is an ethical person, which I admire. Her books on reincarnation intrigued me the most. Especially the subject of cell memory.

Lately I have been reading articles on holocaust victims reincarnating in this life and reliving old memories.

I don't know what I was in my past life, but I would like to find out. I had a very strong interest in the holocaust when I was a teenager that never seemed to go away I just had to read everything about it. Now I am more interested in the stories of the survivors. I was really drawn to Schindler's List and the Piano. I always felt embarrassed about my strong interest.

There is a woman in Sweden that claims she is the reincarnation of Anne Frank. I read her bio and I suppose it could be true. She has flashbacks of being in the house, and the arrest. Plus one of the surviving Frank family members believes she is Anne reincarnated. But I am sure there are so many women out there that feel the same way and feel that they are Anne. Plus, that is a bold statement to make. I would like to read the book, but I can understand why there was public outrage.

But I have a strong feeling that I was in Europe during that era. That obsession has never gone away. I love the era between the 1920s to the 1940s. I love how women dressed back then. When I was a child I read everything I could get my hands on during that 20 year period. Whether it was in the US or Europe.

I have a strong interest in the Old Europe. I pay attention to old buildings build during or soon after the war. Like the very simple apartment buildings where the curtains are made of white lace. I love the old doorbells and I love it when I hear an older woman walking around on the linoleum with her clunker shoes and hair tied up. I love the older trains and I pay attention to the older folks. I admire them because they lived during that era and I want to know how life was for them. When my grandmother died, I was sad because I felt like she was my connection to the past. I loved it when European countries were more individual and the Euro wasn't the currency people used. I don't like the taste of schwartezbrot, but I like it because it is so European and eat it anyway. I love it when older European gentlemen are so polite and offer compliments.

I went over to Austria when I was ten years old for the first time and lived with my aunt for about 6 months. I adapted really well. I went back again when I was 18 and my family was so impressed with how well I took to European customs. While I was living there I was often mistaken for being one of them (as long as they didn't hear me in a long conversation)

I have always envied my Austrian cousins, for they were born and raised there and still live there. I used to secretly wish that my mom had never immigrated to the US and that I was a European child. While I heard the stories of how my cousins traveled all over Europe on family vacations, I was envious. I could travel the entire US, but I would still be in one country. Europeans can travel the continent and cover so many countries.

I am still obsessed with that, but luckily it is not my only interest anymore. I realized that I was limiting myself. I have since taken a liking to world affairs and have wanted to learn about issues affecting the world, and not just events in Europe. I have also recently grown interested in the US Constitution and our founding fathers. Especially since I started studying it in my American Law class. Ever since I traveled to Spain a couple of years ago and got homesick for American things, I realized that I am American, no matter how obsessed I may be with Europe. And the US has a great history that I should learn about.

Anyway, back to past lives. I would really like to learn mine. Many people don't believe in it, but I do. And I believe it could provide answers to me in this life.

Anyway, I will end this here.

It's Official ! I can no longer afford to live !!!!

Hello there my lovelies,

Well, it is official !! I now have to get a second job in order to stay afloat. My car insurance rate has doubled, and I just found out that my insurance won't cover the rest of my doctors appointments. This means that I am getting hit with another $500 in doctors bills.

Finding a law firm to work for is another interesting feat. I have my degree, I am bilingual and I am pursuing my Paralegal certificate. Yet most don't want to consider me because I've never worked in a law firm before. Plus, one company already already had an issue with me because I am going to school in the evenings. Supposedly working overtime is very important. And I agree. I would love to work overtime when I don't have school. Yet they can't give me a break for the two nights I attend school. I make it clear in my interviews that I am willing to do anything from making coffee to research to legal writing. And that I can work almost any hours except for the two nights I have school, and even that is negotiable.

 It seems like I may have to work for a legal non-profit agency for free during the day and work at night. I really don't want to go down that road because I can't afford to work for free. But if I have to, I will.

The good news is that I don't give up. Rejection just doesn't phase me anymore.  And that is because I don't have any options at this point.

I just can't afford to live anymore. I don't work to live anymore. Now I have to live to work.

Anyway, I can't wait until this year is over.

 

My days at the Red Lobsta

Hello there my lovelies,

Wow, I have been away for a while. I know that I have neglected this blog, but I have been busy doing other things like sleeping on my really comfortable bed, playing solitare on my Ipod and working out.

I am going back to school today to pursue my paralegal certificate. I look forward to this quarter and I hope that I learn a lot and meet some cool people for my study sessions.

Speaking of which, I may have to get an internship for free and get a few part time jobs so that I can do the internship and go to school part time and still make a living. I may have to go back to being a waitress.

I was a waitress during college and I learned a lot. I realized that for the first half of my serving career that I really was a crappy server and I want to appologize to all of the poor guests I served. I didn't know how to serve back then, I can't take more than five tables and part of me didn't care. For the latter half, I wised up and improved my level of service and started caring more about my customers. And I started to receive compliments and sometimes customers would even leave nice notes on the back of the receipt thanking me. They didn't always know how to tip well. But if they left me a nice note or at least gave me a nice compliment I wasn't angry. Getting crappy tips and stiffed was a common thing at Red Lobster, especially Sundays. So if I got compliments or was told my service was great, I took the compliment and let the rest slide. It was the people that demanded shit, ran my ass around, and left me a crappy ass tip after I did everything they asked. It was that and the occasional racist that really left me bitter.

http://rlserver.blogspot.com/

I stumbled upon this and it brought back my days at da Red Lobsta. I take both sides. I understand the side of the server and the customer. People should definitely tip, but those same customers are also entitled to great service. Bad service, bad tip. And I know that when things go wrong, it's not always the servers fault. But why should customers have to pay for bad service no matter who's fault it is ?

I left waitressing because it made me bitter and a table racist. And I was tired of complaining. Yes many people I served did fit the stereotypes and it was sad. Many people that tell me "You can't stereotype people because not everyone is like that" never really served.

But now I may have to go back soon and I will have to go in with a new additude. Because life is just much better when you try to like people instead of be angry. People always will piss you off and stiif you and be assholes. The trick is remembering the people that treat you well and forgetting the people that piss you off and don't deserve your attention.