What Fads Are You Into ? WRITTEN BACK IN 2011 AND NEVER PUBLISHED

I WROTE THIS IN 2011 AND PROBABLY DECIDED IT WAS TOO SNIPPY OR BITCHY TO POST, SO I AM JUST GONNA POST IT PUBLICLY AND HORRIFY MYSELF LATER.

What's Up My Little Easter Eggs ?

Fads/Trends/ Popular Products I am NOT into............

iPhone, or any smartphone for that matter --- I have a Motorola Crazr that came out around 2006/2007 and since it still works, I will continue to use it. If I get a smartphone, I will have to pay at least $30 a month more for internet. No spank you, and besides, those phones are getting too big. I like my phone because it is small, and can fit into just about any handbag, or even in my bra.

Twitter-- I will just stick to my blog, I already have followers here and here I can write as much as I want to. Twitter is lucky I am not up there. I would just tweet my bathroom escapades such as every dump I've taken.

Taking pictures of myself and posting them on facebook.-- If you want to show how hot you look, then at least get someone else to take the pic for you, or get the angling right so it looks like you tried not to make it look like a self portrait. Extra douchebag points if you pose with a kissy face. Tack on twattery points to that if you also pose with gang signs or sideways peace signs in addition to your kissy face.

Ipads-- No offense but Apple can suck it. I've never taken to their products. And they are way too expensive.

Fads I am into:

Facebook-- Part of why I don't post so much up here anymore, is I am always busy harassing my FB friends. Want me to harass you too ? Add me.

Reality TV Shows-- I watch most of them : The Real Housewives Series, Mob Wives, Jersey Shore..... You're Mom's a Whore...... Just kidding, there isn't a show like that, and I would never insult your mother. Was just seeing if you were paying attention.


Starbucks- Don't judge me. I am Starbucks loyal and can't stand Peet's. My friend gave me two gift cards for Starbucks, and it was the best gift EVER !

Expensive handbags-- True, I like namebrand handbags, but I will usually score my finds from Goodwill or friends.

--Expensive Foundation for my face. Estee Lauder rules !

--Department store perfume

Trends I am starting to Shy away from..............

- Expensive undergarments. I used to buy my bras only from Victoria's Secret because they used to be the only place that had nice bras with support without making me look like a fat cow with a dangling udder problem. Lately I've been finding nice bras in my size at Target or other discount stores. AND on clearance. So peace out VS Bitches !!

-- Expensive shampoo. So I used to only buy top of the line shampoos, but I don't feel like it anymore.




Political Correctness/ Trends in Society , Past and Current that I've never taken a liking to.........

-- Carb diet. Two words: FUCK THAT !!!! I have family in Europe and have lived abroad. We love our carbs over there, and I have never given them up, nor will I do so here. I ate a healthy, well balanced diet in countries like France, Austria and Spain because I also mixed up a lot of veggies in my pasta, ate bread in moderation and did a lot of activities like walking everywhere, hiking or swimming.

-- The Going Green Fad. Don't even get me started. Before this became uber popular here in the US, people in Europe were already sorting their trash, recycling and only using resources such as electricity and water that they needed and it was no big deal. I was brought up to do the same. I am more than happy to sort my trash and turn off the lights after use LIKE I HAVE ALWAYS DONE.

I am just sick of all the babying and media hype to this and how bossy people can become all in the name of "going green". My building at work won't even let us use desk heaters that go under the desk anymore.  How companies proudly display that they are recycling and it's supposed to win brownie points (when it should be a given), or how companies can charge more for their products and give you less product because they are "environmentally friendly". And I usually doubt their claims and wonder how "environmentally friendly" they really are. How compostable their materials really are.

--Organic produce. Whatever. To me, fruit is fruit and same with veggies, and if I am really hard up for organic products, I will just grow them myself. But since I am lazy and don't care either way, I am happy to buy produce at the grocery store. I don't believe those bs claims that organic produce is healthier, and I really doubt that produce that is sold in mass quantities is truly "organic". To me, anything grown in the ground and picked is organic, because it comes from the earth.

--People that eat fish or chicken yet still call themselves a vegetarian. No you're not, Stop........

-- Bullying and how the media throws around the term. I am totally against bullying. It breaks my heart when I read in the paper how a child got bullied in school. I was bullied in school. It sucks. I think more should be done to combat that.

What I don't agree with is when adults loosely throw around the term, claiming they were "bullied' just because they got into an argument with another adult or were verbally confronted by a group of other people. If you watch reality TV (such as the Real Housewives) those women are notorious for abusing the term. That is lame.

Charities.... Now please hear me out, I am all for donating. I have volunteered a lot of my time, and I respect people that give. My family is full of people that have donated their time and a lot of money. That's not the problem. The problem I have with it is when people feel entitled to harass you for your money just because "it's going to a good cause."

It always annoys me when I see people on reality TV shows throwing charity parties, and trying to convince everyone they are fabulous because they are donating money, yet there is always petty drama at these "parties". It kind of takes away from the spirit of giving.

It also gets on my nerves when I see "corporate panhandling", like Safeway for example. They raise money for various causes, which tend to change sometimes and sometimes have people posted throughout the store to ask for donations, or post up the names of clerks and how much money they have raised and treat it like a competition.  I remember one day they were raising money for people with special needs, and had their employees with special needs posted on each corner of the store to do the asking.

I remember shopping at Ross, and each clerk asked you to donate. And if you donated, they announced your name and said you donated to the rest of the store. How tacky is that ? What about the people that couldn't ? They knew who you were.

I don't believe that all of the money raised would be for charity anyway. Not only are there tax exemptions, but I am sure someone is getting paid a nice, hefty salary for fundraising at a corporation. How much of that money is going to the true cause ? Until I can know that percentage, no way am I parting with my money.

-- Fancy names for low paying jobs. Do you make sandwiches at Subway ? Then you are a "sandwhich artist".

Are you a receptionist ? Then you are a "lobby embassador".

I do security part time, and if you ever call me a security guard, I would have to correct you and say that I am an "officer" or a "Security Specialist". (no I wouldn't)

When I lived in the dorms in college, the janitor introduced himself as the "sanitation engineer."

I guess that due to the bad economy, the high turnover rates in these positions, and the piss poor benefits that these jobs have, the only thing that can be done for these people is to give them flashy job titles.

BONUS***  Things that annoy me about dating............

-- When men take self portraits of themselves in the mirror. Bonus douchebag points if he takes the picture in the bathroom with his shirt off.

--When men write their profiles in all caps or with such poor spelling and grammar.

--When men don't treat me like a lady and pay for my meal and claim it's because the "feminists" screwed it up for the rest of us and that us women cry that we want to be equal.

-- When men tell me about their jobs and nice material possessions, and then label me a gold-digger for asking questions after they were the ones to start the conversation. (Otherwise I don't discuss those things)

--When men write in their profiles that they enjoy "intelligent conversation". As opposed to what ? Dumbass douchebag babble ?

If you are a man and feel like I am manhating, I am not, and since I am not dating women, I can't really write the annoying shit that women do when dating. But....... I can write annoying shit that women do in general......

Here goes..........

-Women that go to the bathroom in groups. It annoys me when I have to listen to other chicks babble in the bathroom when I am trying to piss or dump in peace.

- Women that walk right behind me (when there is other space) and wear heels that click real loud.

- The women that straighten their hair in the bathroom at work, and it really bothers me when it smells like burning hair.


Okay, that is all for now. Time for me to step off my soapbox and call it a night.

Instant Life Changing Experiences

PLEASE NOTE: THIS WAS WRITTEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF AGO..... I WAS TOO TIRED TO FINISH WRITING, AND FOR WHATEVER REASON DECIDED NOT TO FINISH THE POST. HERE IT IS......UNEDITED.

Hello My Little Sunrises,


As a person who has a lovely combination of anxiety and depression and possible PTSD, I am always looking for ways to overcome this and feel better. I am going through this without medication so some days are really rough.

My conditions I believe are a combination of my childhood, some genetics, and a large portion of my current state of life. I think I suffer mainly because I have hopes and dreams and expectations for myself that I have not fulfilled. That last part is in my control so there is hope for me. I can change that and have been searching for answers for years. One example is that I wanted to travel the world and become an EU citizen so I could be closer to my family over there. I did travel for a year in Spain, but most of my plans went so horribly wrong, and everything I tried came to a dead end. Every.Time. And all of my plans to be an EU resident bombed in my face. I had all of the qualifications, but because I did not simply register with the American Embassy, I couldn't prove that I was there long enough to qualify. I lost my job shortly thereafter and had to come back home. I have been trying to go back, but for some reason or other it has not happened

I still have that dream to travel and it will not leave me. I am talking about world travel and deeply immersing myself in other cultures. I can't help it, and although some family think I am out of my mind crazy for it and I get teased, I would rather do that, than be secure here and depressed and wonder what the point of life is.

Are any of you searching for spiritual answers in life ? Searching for God ? Searching for why you are here on earth and what your purpose is ? Are you thinking of ways to give back to others and feel valued ?

There are so many resources out there, many recommended by friends that have claimed have instantly changed their lives........................

Well, I am special in that nothing has ever come instantly to me. Many things suggested to me simply have not worked.

All the change and growth I have attained has been gradual, sometimes so slow that I doubted I was even getting better.

Let me be more specific.

Here are some things that have been recommended to me to help me feel better instantaneously, quickly, or would cure me completely......................

1.) Reading The Power of Now by Ekhart Tolle. So many people say it changed their life instantly. Basically Mr. Tolle says, just think about the present moment and don't fret about the past and future because all you have is now. He was in an utter state of depression until he woke up one morning and had a realization. HE claims that if we want to feel better bad enough, we will, it's simple as that. After all, being happy is a choice. He just came to this realization out of the blue one day and spent the next two years sitting on park benches in an absolute state of joy. Yay for him !

While he has some good points, I think it is ridiculous to put that kind of pressure on someone to just flip a switch in their brains and be happy because they are living in the now. For some people, their "now" sucks and they are doing everything they can to avoid it. That is why people have addictions or commit suicide. Where is the compassion for those people ?

For me, I would punish myself after reading his book for not feeling happy. After all, I am focusing on the present moment, why am I not feeling better ????? And the cycle continued. After the first few chapters of what I felt was a condescending tone, I couldn't read further.

Maybe I will read further later and get back to you. Maybe I just need to give his entire book a read and learn something.

But no, this did not change my life instantly. It was a good read and made sense (being mindful is important when dealing with anxiety and depression), but it really isn't that kind to people like me.

2.) Tarot Cards/ Psychics. When you are so anxious like me, you want the suffering to stop. I would wake up and vomit sometimes, or feel deep pain in my chest. You just want to know that you are going to be okay. You want to hear that something good will happen, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I got references from friends and family. I saw a few people. They told me what I wanted to hear. I don't think they outright lied to me. Aside from one lady, I think the others read what they saw.

Except that most of it did not come true. I was supposed to meet my "soulmate" three years ago, lol. I did meet the guy that lady predicted I would meet. Well, at least he fit the description. He turned out to be the biggest douchebag.

I was told I would work in fields that I do not work in. I was told that I would never have to worry about money. These things seemed to be a pattern in readings from different people.

When the good things that were predicted did not happen, I felt very let down, like I did something wrong to prevent it from happening. Again, putting more pressure on myself.

Also, bad things happened that they seemed to miss. I had a huge falling out with my best friend this year that the last lady that read me told me that we would be fine. That lady told me I would have no problem getting my own place, yet I had bedbugs and still have scars from those bites.

I have stopped believing. I believe that God will reveal things that we are meant to know. And if we aren't meant to know, then the correct information will be shielded from us.

There is no way to know if we will really be okay down the road, I am sorry. There are just no guarantees in life. If someone tells you differently, they either want your money, want you to join their cult, or are just trying to make you feel better. We have to accept that life is a gamble and good and bad things happen.

3.) Religion. I was told and have read that I should just "give my problems to God". Others have and they have said that they instantly feel healed. I was told the reason for my suffering is that I do not accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. If only it were that easy ! I was raised as a Christian and I do believe in God. I do believe in the power of prayer. BUT, for me, God has never been instant. Many things I've asked for I never received instantly. I have asked for a lot of things, but God has had to make room for those things to happen, which takes time. It's only becoming clearer now that I am no longer in my twenties.

4.) Psychiatric Medication. This is a biggie, because it does work for many. Maybe it can work for me, but it hasn't when I tried. I was on Celexa for a year, and at first it was great ! I no longer felt in state of panic, I didn't feel like I was going to break down crying anymore. My emotions flatlined, and I just was. I didn't have highs, and I didn't have lows, which was a huge relief for once. It was nice not to wonder if people hated me or not, because it didn't matter anymore !

At the same time, because I wasn't going through emotional turmoil anymore, I had no motivation to get help.




What has worked for me..............................

Finally Back !!

Well Hello there My Little Marshmallows !!

How art thou ? Miss me ? I shut this blog down and kept it on private for over a year, mainly because I moved to another state and needed to find a job and just didn't want to give anyone access into my private life.

So here is the skinny............................ Since I last blogged last March, I have since moved to South Florida, and life has really changed for me.

I am still in the legal field. I tried to start another blog under a different name and wrote in for a few times before I gave up on that altogether. I keep finding that no what, after however long, I keep coming back to this blog. Kinda like my Mr. Big of blogs, except this blog doesn't break my heart.

I have missed blogging and getting mouthy up here, it truly is therapy. I plan to share a lot of unsolicited advice and opinions with you all. Your welcome.

Here are some interesting little tidbits of information about my life .....................................


1) I have been blogging for almost twelve years !! I am a total Facebook whore, but this is where the true therapy lies.

2) Since I moved here to South Florida, I finally met in person two of my blogger friends from Miami, and one from Tennessee ! I even had my good blog friend Le Porkstar come to Miami for a visit.

3) I used to be more of a dog person, but have since transformed into a Crazy Cat Lady in the past couple of years. About a year ago, I started having roommates with cats, and they slowly won me over. When I first moved to Miami, the first place I lived at had a black cat that I truly adored.

4) I have lived in California for almost all of my life, but I feel that as a US Citizen, I should live at least another state before settling down and experience life in different parts of the country. I moved here because I wanted a fresh start, to kind of hit the "reset" button in life. Also because I watched a lot of reality TV from Miami and loved the gorgeous weather in the background. Florida has it's problems, but not as bad as California, and for now I am satisfied with my choice.

5) I now have red streaks in my hair.

I am gonna log off for now, but I shall be back.

Besitos !

Love,

Senorita

Things that annoy me...............

Hello there my little marshmallows !

Happy Hump Day ! How are you, my little toasty treats ?

I have a lot to discuss as far as future bloggy posts. But for now, I need to talk about what annoys me..........

1.) Estate Sales. What ever happened to a good old garage sale ? Here everyone now calls a regular garage sale an "Estate Sale" which is total bullshit. It's like someone feeding you a turd and calling it filet mignon. Estate sales up until recently, were sales on nice properties, usually from a wealthy deceased person, where you could find fascinating antiques or books or vintage fashions. Now, everyone uses that term. Especially those in ghetto areas selling their ordinary crap like worn out shoes from Payless or a VCR from 1995. They think they are being crafty, but it is just really annoying.

2.) High profile sounding labels for low wage jobs. You make sandwiches ? You are a sandwich artist. Are you a receptionist that they won't hire fulltime as to pay you benefits ? You are a lobby ambassador ! Are you the weatherman on the local news station ? You are the chief meteorologist ! Are you a low level security guard with a flashlight and zero authority to to anything ? You are not just a guard, you are a Security Specialist ! Anyway, I think I better stop before my panties bunch up any further. I am in the legal field and perfectly happy with being called a legal secretary. Yes, a secretary, as to insinuate that I am being bossed around by the good ole' boys. So what, at least I was paid decently with benefits and learned a lot.

3.) Tampon machines at places of employment or in public. I think I have gone over this before in previous posts. They are awful. A man must have ordered them. I want to send that man to sensitivity training and shove one in him and make him wear the pad.

4.) Political correctness. I live in the Bay Area. Need I say more ? Everyone gets offended so easily. Especially those that take a few gender role classes or womens' studies classes or ethnic classes and think they are experts all of a sudden and voices for groups they think are being oppressed. People here throw money at a cause here and think they are philanthropists (when in reality their donations are probably being mismanaged). People love to shop at whole foods and do yoga and think that it makes them morally superior to everyone else.

5.) Traffic. People can't drive here. That is all.

Yes, that is all for now. Back to trying to be productive.

Besitos !

Self Help and Inspiration...................A blog post which will lead to many more blog posts .......................

Hello my little Easter Eggs,

I have been wanting to talk about self help and inspiration. I am always looking for inspiration in life, ways to improve myself, ways to feel more appreciative about life. Especially since I have anxiety and depression. I have decided that only I can help myself get better. Maybe I can help you, or at least point you in a better direction.

For me, the health care system (mental health system) has failed me, and meds have not worked. Trust me, I will get more into that later. Realizing you have a problem is difficult in and of itself, but after a diagnosis, getting the system to care about you and be on your side is an uphill battle and a constant struggle. That deserves posts of its own.

You ever read testimonials about workshops or books where people say that "it changed their lives'? That they were a completely new person after reading that one book or taking that one class ? Or that they prayed to God, and God just answered their prayers ? That God just gave them what they were asking for ? Or that they just practiced the law of attraction and got what they wanted ?? It was that simple !

"I took a Tony Robins workshop and walked on fire" or "I read the book The Power of Now, and am free of all of my negative thoughts" or "I just prayed to God and he provided my dream man" How many times have you heard your friends tell you that ? Or maybe you have read all the testimonials on Facebook or on Amazon ? Where tons of people claim these products/workshops work and why isn't the same happening for me ?

Yes, I have read all these testimonials, but no progress ever came quickly for me. For me to change my thought patterns or habits, I have had to do a lot of work on myself and put in many hours. In fact, things usually got much worse for me before they got better. No one ever told me that until much later, so I spent a lot of time thinking I was marked for extra punishment.

Things have gotten better for me in general, but my progress happened very slowly and the good thing about that is that it can be likened to building a solid foundation. Maybe it takes longer for solid results to be seen, but once the foundation is in place, you can build a house and nothing can knock it down.

I have a lot more to say, I will consider this post an outline for more posts to come...............