Am I the Only One ?

Am I the Only One...................

1) That is not shocked that Bill Cosby had a squeaky clean image and got away with rapes and extramarital affairs for so long, even after people stepped forward ?

2) That wonders what fellow church goers were doing the night before they showed up for the morning service ? Were they at the club ? Snorting coke ? Cooking dinner with their families ?

3) That is not shocked that the people with the cleanest images hide some of the most interesting secrets ?

4) That is suspicious of charities and think that the majority of funds don't actually go to the real cause ?

5) That wonders how screwed up my therapist is ? Is my therapist more screwed up than me ? Does she even take her own advice ?

6) That thinks the majority of life coaches I see are full of shit ? Do they even have their lives together?

7) That thinks that the majority of people that flash their wealth are probably on the verge of bankruptcy ?

8) That wonders if I am a Negative Nancy, or am I a realist ?

9) That wonders how I ever thought I had the answers to life in my twenties, and if I will ever get my shit together ?

10) That reads heated debates about international events (ie Israel, Palestine, etc...) on Facebook or the news and wonder how the hell anyone can really know anything if they don't live there and live it first hand ?

Can any of you relate ? Or am I really just the only one ?

Candy and Coloring Book

Hello my little Sunshine Rays,

I recently heard some adults are turning to coloring to relieve stress and combat depression. It sure beats eating your way out of your pants and into self-hatred, right.

So today I stopped at CVS and found a coloring book, and not just any coloring book, but Lisa Frank. I freaking love Lisa Frank, she was THE sticker and coloring book Goddess of when I was in grade school.

Anyway, it was only a buck, and then I got my favorite crayons to match. Crayolas. The smell brings me right back to my childhood when I got Crayolas for Christmas. I won't touch any other brand of crayons, everything smells like cheap wax, which is hilarious, considering I am not really loyal to any brand in particular of any other product. Just crayons.

You know what also brings me back to the Eighties ? Starburst candies and Juicy Fruit gum. Recently a coworker brought Starburst to work, and I have been hoarding them. I eventually had to go buy more and replace them. But they are really juicy. I could tell you a story about how I stole a whole bag of Starburst from my teacher right under his nose in gradeschool. I ate them and everything right in front of him and he didn't notice. Then he turned around and noticed they disappeared and frantically searched for them and I sat there and watched in silence.

So anyway, back to today at CVS, I found Juicy Fruit gum infused with Strawberry Starburst flavor. I thought I had hit the memory jackpot !

Turns out, it was kind of a disappointment, and I went back to chewing the regular Juicy Fruit.

So yeah, coloring books, crayons and candy. And how are you doing ?

Have you Climbed your Family Tree ?

Hello There My Little Gum Drops !

It's Le Weekend...... Are you enjoying yours ?

Have you ever wondered about your family background ? I get a mixed reaction out of people when I ask that questions. Some people want all the information they can get their hands on and spend lifetimes seeking it, while others don't really have much interest.

I want to know where my family has come from, and I have been lucky in getting that information for the most part. My mother's side is all from Austria, and I have been in contact with them and visited the land of Mozart numerous times. My grandmother, aka Oma, didn't speak English which forced me to learn German, since my mother didn't teach me.

My father's side is American. His parents were born here in the US, and his mother's side is American with roots that date back to this country and Canada for a couple of hundred years, and I have been lucky that my grandmother has been able to tell me a lot about her side of the family, and luckily it has been easy to trace through Ancestry.com. She is now in her nineties and her mother lived to be 102, so I have been fortunate to hear stories from both of them, and that long life is in our bloodline.

It is the family of my father's father that has been a mystery. Meaning, I have been told little tidbits of information here and there, and while some of it is consistent, I have not been able to verify really anything on Ancestry.com or Ellis Island.

Growing up I have heard that my great-grandparents immigrated to this country through Ellis Island. However, when I looked through the database, their names and any variations of it could not be found. That was 6 years ago, and luckily my brother finally found the ship that they arrived on, but not much more. I guess that is a good starting point, which I should continue to follow-up on.

My father's sister has been very instrumental in providing me information to follow up on. She handed me down a lot of letters my great-grandmother used to write as well as correspondence between family members. A favorite past time of mine used to be googling their addresses to see where they lived and the surrounding areas via Google Maps.

I had two addresses for my great-grandparents, yet when I typed them in neither of the places existed anymore. One addresses was newer apartments, while the other address was an empty lot. It kind of broke my heart a little. You hear stories from your family without being able to verify anything, not even the last places they spent the rest of their lives.

A couple of weeks ago, my Aunt sent me an old picture of my great-grandma Paulina from Russia, probably one of the last pictures taken of her. Paulina and Morris did not have easy lives. They really embodied the immigrant experience of the turn of the century. Their family was run out of Russia for being Jewish, and some landed in Europe, while others like my great-grandparents ended up in the United States. They had five children and worked very hard. I wish I could say that they were a loving family and that their hard work paid off and that they were able to retire comfortably, but that wasn't really the case. They struggled until the very end of their lives. But what they did do was get out of a country that didn't want them anymore, and they survived. Sometimes that is all we can do, and we are lucky for it, even if that's all we end up doing.

From the stories I have heard, she was a little abrasive and feisty, a real ball-buster. She wore the pants in the family and really rode my great-grandpa hard. There really isn't anything warm and fuzzy to say, but she was a survivor.

I think I may have inherited some of her feistiness.

Like I mentioned earlier, while they ended up here in the US, others ended up in Europe. I recently met my distant cousins in France, and it really is fascinating what you can find with a little research. And thank goodness for social media to keep us all in contact.

Anyway, here is her picture below, it's funny, I tend to cross my arms the same way.

Happy Fourth

Happy Fourth my Lovelies !!!

'Merica ! Bald Eagles and shit !

I slept in, watched Sex and the City reruns and cuddled with the dog. He was very cuddly. Tonight I will hopefully enjoying booze and fireworks.

I don't know how I will return this dog to his owner when he comes back. I have fallen in love with this dog. It is hard for me to break down and get a pet of my own because I know how attached I can get, and I am really to afraid to lose my own pet. It's a little less hard when that pet that you love belongs to someone else. That way in case anything happens, I can just think that the pet is still with it's owner and I just haven't seen it in a while.

I know, I am have issues........................

But on the other hand, I have come to the point in life where it is time to settle down a little bit, and I should start with a pet. I feel like a gypsy at heart. I have never lived in one place for more than four years, and the last time, I lived in one place for four years was twenty years ago. Not settling down reminds me of when I was in my twenties and had my whole life ahead of me. Settling down reminds me that I am getting older and that I don't have all of the time in the world, and it's running out and before you know it, I will old and gray.

But as I am getting older, I find it more difficult to live life without animal company. The desire for a furry friend just won't go away.

Okay, enough for now.

Rainbow Related Questions

Well Happy Fourth Weekend to you my Loves,

How are you ? I am thankful that I have today off for the Fourth of July weekend and I am dogsitting. It's always nice to wake up to a pet in your bed. Especially a cuddly pet.

I keep hearing the term "crossing over to the rainbow bridge" in relation to a cat's passing. I don't really hear that term used for a dog. So will someone please explain why it seems that cats have the exclusive use of the term ?

So this last week was monumental in that the Supreme Court of the United States ruled same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. I truly never thought this day would ever come in my life-time.

I have a strictly-legal question regarding the same-sex ruling. Back around 2008, I took an American Law class, and my professor said that cases regarding same-sex marriage will never reach the US Supreme Court because marriage was not discussed in the US Constitution, and therefore relegated to the states. He said that each state will have separate authority as to whether same-sex marriage will be allowed in their state, but because it is strictly a state issue, it will never reach the Supreme Court.

So when I read that the above subject not only reached the Supreme Court, but was actually heard and ruled upon, I was shocked.

I guess I will google the shit out of the above questions later for further clarification, but I was wondering if any of you lovely readers ever wondered the same.

Growing up in a cult with religious beliefs, I was raised that homosexuality was a sin. And I truly believed it. Of course I never really was outspoken about it (Thank GOD) but it was a firm belief of mine.

I mean, honestly, I came from an environment where mental illness didn't exist, I wasn't allowed to watch TV or listen to the radio, you were punished for masturbation, humiliated for watching porn, and oral sex was considered a crime against the Universe (seriously). With those guidelines, where do you think homosexuality would rank ? My point exactly.

Moving out of a communal environment to going to college and living in the dorms and then living abroad in Spain for the next year, helped transition me out of those beliefs. It started with me accepting that I had depression.

Once I could put that label on what I was feeling, I could feel more compassion for others. I lived a lifestyle different from mainstream society in a cult. People always looked at us as freaks. It was so awkward growing up to know that the neighbors were always watching us and ready to report us for any little violation. Someone even decided to call Child Protective Services on us, and the school knew about our business. I felt isolated and laughed at. Who I was I to judge someone for going against the grain, so to speak ?

I am not saying this to compare my life to that of the GLBT community, because I don't know what it is like, I just got a taste of my own medicine, and I believe in kindness and compassion.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Besitos :)