Flowers

Hello there my lovelies,

Y'all know that I work as a receptionist at the front desk. Anyways, we get new flowers every Monday. I usually come in after they're delivered and I'm too caught up in what I'm doing to notice them.

Well yesterday I arrived early. It was a nice, sunny day outside and I was just relaxing for a moment before things got busy. And then the flower lady pulled up. She brought out the bouquet and spritzed the flowers to make them look pretty before she brought them in. She did it with a smile on her face and with care and brought them to my desk.

I felt like she was doing this all for me. And the boquet was gorgeous. Beautiful, thick lavender roses and big, yellow daisies. And they were fresh with little water droplets. I told that lady that she always delivers beautiful flowers and she smiled and told me to tell everyone to call her if they want flowers.

Those flowers put a smile on my face, and made my day. I've been staring at them all day.

Rakassah 2007

Well hello there my lovelies,

Yesterday I was on the phone from 9am till around 4pm redialing nonstop to try and secure a dance slot for Rakassah. After 7 hours of a busy signal, I FINALLY got through. For those of you that don't know, Rakassah is one of the biggest bellydance festivals of the year in the world. Vendors, teachers and dancers fly out for this event. If you're into bellydance you can find a lot of "in demand " teachers, musicians, as well as performers. If you want a costume, you have so many options. But be prepared to shell out a lot of dough. The costumes they sell run for about $700-800 a pop.

I went last year and did my sword routine with my troupe, Jewel of Opar. It was great. It was my first time performing in public with the sword, and people loved it. Unfortunately, I was supposed to do other routines with my troupe, but the staff told us at the last minute that they wouldn't allow us all on stage, so I was cut out of the other two dances. But I was okay with that because at least I was able to dance with the sword.

So, on March 16th at 8:34pm I will be performing as a soloist. I've never danced at a festival like this alone before. I will be dancing under my stage name, Amira (it means Princess in Arabic). I don't really know what I will be doing, except that it will be under 7 minutes, and hopefully it will involve my sword.

I am so happy that I was able to secure a dance spot. Now I shall let the hard work and practice begin !

Amsterdam

Hello there my lovelies.........

I already wrote an entry, but I feel like writing again.

It's cold, and I am not in the mood to be doing anything. I don't feel like talking on the phone, nor going out. So, I am here caged up in my room.

And I am fantasizing. I really wish I could take a short trip. I would really like to visit Amsterdam. Really, really bad. I want to see: The Anne Frank House, The Van Gough Museum, the canal, the windmills, the tulips, the Sex Museum and the red light district. My parents read my journal, so they are probably freaking out about me wanting to walk through the Red Light District, haha.

If I had to chose only one place to visit in Amsterdam, it would be the Anne Frank House, hands down. I studied her in school, and read her book twice. While I was at Mathausen, I bought her book and read it on the train. I felt that I could identify with her as a young woman in so many ways.

I would also really like to go to Poland to see Auschwitz. I know that I went to Mathausen during the summer of 2005, (You can read about it in my entry), but I felt like that was only a small percentage of the horror. Auchwitz was the ultimate death factory, and it is a very important part of Holocaust history. My late grandfather's girlfriend and another family friend spent a couple of years there, and I would like to get a better understanding of what they went through. But most of all, you see why tolerance is so important, and what hate can do.

My mother's side of the family is Austrian, but they were Catholics. During the war they had to live in fear, but luckily no one was deported to the camps. Unfortunately many people here in the US are ignorant and automatically assume we were part of Hitler's plan. What's worse, is when I explain that my family was against Hitler and that they were forced to fight, most responses are "yeah, right." People here think it's funny to bring out the Hitler jokes or make Nazi gestures. It doesn't necessarily make my blood boil because I know they aren't accusing me of supporting the Holocaust, but it does get under my skin that people don't have a clue that they're being rude. Very rude.

My great grandparents on my father's side were Russian-Jewish immigrants and immigrated in the early 1900s to the United States to work. I wonder if they immigrated to escape religious persecution. They came through Ellis Island, and I want to visit that place so very badly. I started reading about it in middle school and it fascinated me. And that fascination still hasn't gone away.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm gonna go and look up cheap air fares. Ciao.

 

 

 

 

Well hello there my lovelies..........

So........... Y'all know that I have a new journal. I added people, but apparently people still can't read my entries. So now I think that I have to add people one by one.

So far I have been coming up with material every day for my entries. I also like to go back and add more to previous entries. Having two journals is kinda cool, if you ask me.

As you know, my grandpa died last year in April, so now my aunt is opening up his house and giving away all his posessions to us before she has an estate sale. My grandpa died at 92, so he had 92 years and I think four marraiges to accumulate his stuff. He lived in Long Beach, so a lot of my family went down to get furniture, dishes, books, art.

My grandpa was an artist and made a lot of sculptures, statues, some paintings and photos. I have a small bronze statue of a woman's body, and I adore it. It' too bad I can't make it down there. I can't take time off work, and I have no room in my house for furniture. My landlord wouldn't allow it. Oh well. My brother went, though and he's gonna bring me back some stuff. Apparently there was still so much stuff that there was a rule: If you say, "this is nice" you have to take it.

Anyway, I am done babbling for now. I'll write more later.

Ciao

One step at a time...........

Hello there my lovelies,

In my life, I try to make improvements. If I am not happy, I like to fix it so that I may be happy. Last year was stressful because I tried different things to change my life and I felt like I failed. But if I take a look closer, I really didn't. It's just that I can't expect things to happen for me overnight. And sometimes things may fall through for a reason.

1.) Last year around this time I decided that I wanted to move out into my own place where I could live my life the way I want to. Those of you who know me personally know exactly what I am talking about and how significant it is for me. I moved out of a cramped apartment with no privacy into my own private room in a nice neighborhood. One day I just woke up and made the change. I only looked at one place I found on Craig's List and that was it. I haven't looked back since.

2.) I realized  some of my passion in life. I love to travel, learn languages, work with immigrants, and I realized that I want to be a federal officer in immigrations. Either that or join the Peace Corps. Or a corporate job that allows international travel. I kinda knew this was what I wanted, but I was too scared to actually take the steps. I didn't believe in myself or think I have what it takes. Besides, what if I fail? Well, I got tired of making excuses, so I started researching the various positions and getting involved in volunteer work. I also took the TSA exam and the Border Patrol exam.

Unfortunately, I kinda did fail a little. I failed the TSA exam due to my eye sight, I failed the Border Patrol exam because I was too nervous, and I had to give up volunteering because it conflicted with my work schedule

However, this year I am going to try again. I may be getting better hours at work so that I may volunteer, I got lasik so that I may retake the TSA exam, and I studied harder so that I may retake the Border Patrol exam in April. I also joined a gym so that I can work on staying in shape for the fitness exam. Plus, now there are opportunities in Customs and Border Protection, so I would like to take the exsm for that as well.

3.) I was so frustrated with my job at Enterprise. I could not imagine being an Assistant Manager there. I just could not imagine getting excited over it. I was tired of the sales tactics I was taught, I was tired of getting walked on by my customers, and management constantly ass raping us. It took a long time to find another job. I looked all over, went to many interviews, and finally gave up. Until one summer day, one of my customers came in and suggested that I apply for the position I currently have. I was happy that my hard work finally paid off.

4.) I had never danced at any major bellydance festivals, and last year I put myself out there and performed for the first time with my troupe.

So......... this year I will build off last year.

1.) I will retake the Border Patrol Exam around April or May.

      I will apply to take the Customs and Border Protection exam in a couple of months.

     I am working on getting promoted at my current job. I am in the process of getting transferred to another department. In fact today was my first day handling issues on my own, and I think I did well. And if I get better hours, I can start volunteering again.

I hope to start applying for the Peace Corps by the end of this year. It depends on a lot of things, but I am crossing my fingers on this one.

2.) This year I would like to perform my solo routine that I designed at the major bellydance festivals. I would also like to buy another sturdy, professional dance costume.

I learned that in order for things to get better, I need to really put in the effort and be patient, meaning that sometimes I'm gonna make mistakes or not make the cut. But eventually things may start improving very slowly. I don't think everything will happen all at once. I think they will slowly happen and one day I will realize how far I've come along.