Yep, We Were Weird

Hello My Little Followers,

Miss me ?

Been a while since I've blogged about my cult experience. Since today is Throwback Thursday, I decided I would go back in time, and talk about some of our strange beliefs we were forcefed. Here are ten of them in no particular order. And of course, I have way more, but I don't have all day, so here they are.......

1) Cats are bad energy. Dogs are good energy, so are lions and tigers, but the domesticated house cat was evil. If you liked cats, you had to keep that to yourself.

2) Whistling was bad energy, and so was blowing out candles on a birthday cake. Basically, the mouth was considered a source of evil  (Read the Bible talking about the evil tongue). So if you had a birthday cake with candles, you had to punch them out. I hated it. I hated that I had to work for my cake on my birthday.

3) We were not allowed to listen to the radio. The radio was bad energy too. We couldn't listen to music in the house, it was absolute silence. We also had to play The Grand Cuntress' tapes of chanting. So basically if we wanted music, we had to listen to her chanting. Over and over and over.

4) TV was strictly forbidden too.

5) When we came home, we had to take off our shoes, bow to her picture, and announce ourselves out loud.

6) We were not allowed furniture, and we had to share bedrooms. There were 5 people in a master bedroom, or two people in a small room. If you didn't like someone, that's who you got paired up with. We slept on the floor in sleeping bags.

7) I was not allowed to receive mail at the house. If I had to get mail, I was had to receive it at the martial arts school we trained at. We were also not allowed to ever give out our phone number to the house before cell phones were common.

8) We were not allowed to have butter, milk or coffee in the house.

9) You had to write a journal once a week, preferably every day detailing our most intimate secrets. Were we horny ? Did we have a crush on someone ? Did we want to talk about traumatic experiences from the past ? Did we have weird fantasies ? She wanted to know it all. Every sordid detail.

10) We had house meetings every couple of weeks, discussing new house rules, events, meetings, or any complaints. A lot of those meetings were used for bitching at each other.

That's all for now,

Hugs and shimmies !

3-Ingredient Pancakes You Need To Try

Hello there My Little Sweet Treats,



I have had to make major changes to my eating habits since I passed thirty, but I am also a very lazy cook. I am simple minded, and I refuse to drop a ton of money on kitchen gadgets beyond a mixer and blender.



Not only that, but I really don't like all the prep and clean up involved in creating a dish. In other words, just be happy that you aren't married to me, okay ? Because I am cheap, fast and easy..... In the kitchen that is..........



So when I found the recipe below for these pancakes, I was totally tingly in my pants. I was a little skeptical, but I made them and was totally blown away. I loved them ! I did add a little bit of almond flour to thicken up the mix a little. But it was cheap, fast, easy and healthy ! I did add a lot of butter on it, and next time I will try it with honey.



Remind me next time to blog about poaching eggs in under two minutes with just a microwave and a ramiken (Is that how it's spelled ? Oh, who cares).......

My Qualities......................

"I have three great qualities.............. I am hot AND I am smart".--
                                                                                              - Kelso, That Seventies Show

Am I the Only One ?

Am I the Only One...................

1) That is not shocked that Bill Cosby had a squeaky clean image and got away with rapes and extramarital affairs for so long, even after people stepped forward ?

2) That wonders what fellow church goers were doing the night before they showed up for the morning service ? Were they at the club ? Snorting coke ? Cooking dinner with their families ?

3) That is not shocked that the people with the cleanest images hide some of the most interesting secrets ?

4) That is suspicious of charities and think that the majority of funds don't actually go to the real cause ?

5) That wonders how screwed up my therapist is ? Is my therapist more screwed up than me ? Does she even take her own advice ?

6) That thinks the majority of life coaches I see are full of shit ? Do they even have their lives together?

7) That thinks that the majority of people that flash their wealth are probably on the verge of bankruptcy ?

8) That wonders if I am a Negative Nancy, or am I a realist ?

9) That wonders how I ever thought I had the answers to life in my twenties, and if I will ever get my shit together ?

10) That reads heated debates about international events (ie Israel, Palestine, etc...) on Facebook or the news and wonder how the hell anyone can really know anything if they don't live there and live it first hand ?

Can any of you relate ? Or am I really just the only one ?

Candy and Coloring Book

Hello my little Sunshine Rays,

I recently heard some adults are turning to coloring to relieve stress and combat depression. It sure beats eating your way out of your pants and into self-hatred, right.

So today I stopped at CVS and found a coloring book, and not just any coloring book, but Lisa Frank. I freaking love Lisa Frank, she was THE sticker and coloring book Goddess of when I was in grade school.

Anyway, it was only a buck, and then I got my favorite crayons to match. Crayolas. The smell brings me right back to my childhood when I got Crayolas for Christmas. I won't touch any other brand of crayons, everything smells like cheap wax, which is hilarious, considering I am not really loyal to any brand in particular of any other product. Just crayons.

You know what also brings me back to the Eighties ? Starburst candies and Juicy Fruit gum. Recently a coworker brought Starburst to work, and I have been hoarding them. I eventually had to go buy more and replace them. But they are really juicy. I could tell you a story about how I stole a whole bag of Starburst from my teacher right under his nose in gradeschool. I ate them and everything right in front of him and he didn't notice. Then he turned around and noticed they disappeared and frantically searched for them and I sat there and watched in silence.

So anyway, back to today at CVS, I found Juicy Fruit gum infused with Strawberry Starburst flavor. I thought I had hit the memory jackpot !

Turns out, it was kind of a disappointment, and I went back to chewing the regular Juicy Fruit.

So yeah, coloring books, crayons and candy. And how are you doing ?