Sunday, December 18, 2011

Why Is It Wednesday........but on a Sunday

What's Up Kitty Cats ?

I've just come up with a new theme......... Why Is It Wednesday. But since I will be too worn out to post this on Wed, I will just post it today, Sunday.

So yeah...... Why Is It Wednesday........ Basically shit that happens that make you go ""Why? Just Why?

So now let's get down to business and help me answer this question...................

Why is it that when I am at work have my workspace corner all to myself and want to fart in peace, someone has to come over and insist that they fix my computer ? AT THAT MOMENT ? Why ????? It wasn't important when I first complained.

So yeah, I have a desk corner all to myself, and sometimes I am gassy. I know I am supposed to be a lady and all, but I come from a family that farts, especially in the mornings. I laugh at other peoples' farts too. Especially if the offenders are family members or are old. Bonus if they are both. I know, I am going to Hell.

So I get to work, I don't see anyone in the office and I just had to let a few rip, and since I was early, I just let it out. I'm not gonna lie. SBDs all the way. Don't know what that means ? Google it.

Anyway, the IT guy comes by my office. He is usually not there that early, and he wants to make sure my comp is updated. I was trying to talk to him while I was sitting at my desk so he wouldn't come closer. I even put scented lotion on my hands and fanned my face to hope the lotion scent would spread. But he said it would just take a minute. Since I didn't want to say "Hey man, I just farted, I am waiting for it all to dissolve in thin air, could you please come back"? I just told him to help himself and to take his time and I ran to the kitchen to hide. I couldn't look at him for the rest of the day.

This wasn't the first time something like this would happen. When I was working at Staples and stocked office supplies during Back to School Week, people all of a sudden decided that they just had to ask me about pencils right when I needed to let the honk loose. I mean, this woman came up to me, I answered her question, walked away to fart and she ran right back and had a bunch of questions, following me.

You know when you read a cereal box, it sometimes says on the label that sometimes the contents settle during a freight shipment.

Well, for eight hours or so, my "contents" settle and when I wake up, it's time for some of it to be let out, aka letting the ducks out.

Before you think I am just plain nasty, I make sure that I am all by myself when I do this. Unless I am traveling with my brother, then it's fair game. For the both of us. I've been scolded on how I will never find a man, blah blah blah...... but I don't fart on dates, or in the company of men I am going out with for that matter.

Anyway, that is all for now my little furballs..............

Besitos !!!


Big Mark 243 said...

LOL... you are funny Sondra..! It really doesn't matter if you poot because whoever falls for you won't give a hoot!

Take care, congrats on the new job and try to camouflage those SBD's... that is sorta unfair to the unsuspecting... make sure the backblast area is clear..!

LL Cool Joe said...

I really thought you ended your post with "Little fartballs". :D

Everyone farts, don't they?

Scarlet said...

Impeccable timing, huh? :)

I come from a family that thinks farting is totally disgusting and should be done in a bathroom...even if it kills you to hold it in.

My parents had a friend, Enrique (may he RIP...he passed away last month), who always farted at the dinner table and would ALWAYS tell us, "Prefiero perder un amigo que una tripa." Hilarious! :D

mac said...

It's not ealthy holding those things in. Let 'em out!
But, I can understand not wanting to do it on a date. Still, you should excuse yourself, poot, and return. It's really not that different than excusing yourself to pee. Well... except pee won't drift through the air into their nostrils making them want to hurl.

* Ashleigh * said...

Great to see you back on here! Want to meet up before Christmas? I'll text you tomorrow ;)

LL Cool Joe said...

Happy Christmas to you!!