Bumper Sticker Pet Peeves

Hello There My Little Peeps,

So............ we've all been there. Stuck in traffic behind someone with an annoying bumper sticker. I have to say, some of them are funny, but most of them are pretty lame.

But you have to admit, if you have a strong opinion and you wanna let the world know it, get a bumper sticker, because when you are in traffic, the people riding your ass are a guaranteed audience for a while. Why not just give 'em a piece of your mind and tell them what to think ?

Anyway, here are my pet peeves when it comes to bumper stickers.

1.) "My child is an honor student at ------- Junior High/High". Seriously, who cares ? I'll start caring once your child is in the ivy leagues and beats me out of a job in an interview. Until then, it's just annoying and I guarantee the other parents don't care because they are too busy plastering those stickers on their vehicles. You know what's even more annoying ? Is that bumper sticker on a minivan.

If you want to build up your child's self esteem or reward them for good grades, give them ice cream or whatever the new gadgets are that parents give their children nowadays like a Playstation or a Wii. Otherwise, they don't care about a bumpersticker and neither do we.

You know what I would love ? The bumper sticker that reads "My juvenile delinquent son is banging your honor roll student daughter."

2.) Bumper stickers regarding abortion, pro-life or pro-choice. So now we're gonna debate it on the road ??? Why would someone put that on their car and risk pissing off the person behind them ?

Wanna know what's even more annoying ? Is when I see an abortion sticker on a car and a man is behind the wheel.

3.) Old presidential campaign stickers. Seriously, Obama won ! 2008 is sooo two years ago. He's the president now so that means that you don't have to convince others to pick him. Shouldn't you be focusing on 2012 ?

I will tell you the bumper sticker that I recently saw, which made my day. It read " Four out of five dentists prefer oral sex over oral surgery. " Priceless.

So that is all for now, loves.

Till next time.

Besitos !

Tuesday's Tool

Wassup my bitches ?

Mama is back with a manslation is what's up ! So here in the San Francisco Bay Area, there are way more men than women. Ask David at Dadshouse and he will tell you. I live in San Jose, which we call Man Jose. I know, that would seem like a godsend to me, like it's raining men or something. Total sausage fest. But trust me, it's not the sausage I would be looking for. Married sausage, gangsta/thug sausages/ bitter sausages/ sausages only interested in clam for one night......... these are not on the menu of Yours Truly. No spank you.

I am sure I will find some worth putting on my plate, but in the mean time, I have these Craigslist ads to laugh at. Below is one that I'm pretty sure is from the same douche that has been posting for as long as I've been doing "manslations", which has been almost a year now. Only this time, he cleverly forgets to mention that he's married. Oopsies............ He mentioned it a few times before, but looks like he got no clam. So time for him to omit a few details and try again. Aaaaw, it's like little trainwreck that could ! Except that he really can't.

As usual, the blue is what he really means, and the red is what I am really saying.

Well-Off, Giving Male Wants to Help Creative Actress/Model/Artist



Date: 2010-03-19, 5:32PM



I know what I seek is bit unconventional  because I am married and I really have no connections to help you get famous so I've decided to post a listing here to see if I can find a good match for what I seek. Pussy

I'm an Asian male, 33 years old, tall, and slim and so is my penis. I am a successful, and we all define success in different ways well-educated professional with a great hi-tech career just a regular engineer that's about to get laid off. I'm generous I'm so desperate for sex I will throw a measly amount of cash in your direction courteous I will say please before I fuck you, respectful of others not tell my wife I am fucking you, and friendly my penis is very friendly and will definitely pop out to say hello. I am mostly focused on my career nowadays so I'm not looking for any big time and/or romantic commitments. I'm focusing on getting laid before I get laid off, and my wife thinks I'm working to avoid that lay-off. Wow, a lot of laying going on.

I am seeking a cute female who is pursuing an artistic, modeling, musical, and/or acting career who would like a helping hand literally while trying to establish herself. I've always been a techie/analytical person myself so I have great admiration for artistic/creative people because they possess talents which I don't have. So yeah, I can work a computer and digital camera, but it ain't gonna get you anywhere, except for naked on my hard drive. The hard drive on my computer and the hard drive in my pants.

Looking back at my own career, I realize that establishing yourself, gaining experience, and getting your foot in the door is the hardest part. Blah blah blah la la la, the only thing that's hard is me. In return for a fun and intimate arrangement, I would be happy to provide you with extra income while you pursue your career goals.Why do married men always have to throw in words like "establishing yourself" and "career goals" and "mutual benefits" ? If you would be interested in this type of arrangement with mutual benefits, I look forward to your reply.

Senorita's Beauty Secrets............ Let's Beautify Ourselves Together

Hello There My Little Shampoo Bottles,

I hope you had a nice weekend. I enjoyed mine by dance practice and eating. I had a nice plate of Hawaiian BBQ and two pieces of birthday cake. Just the way I like it with buttercream frosting loaded with colored dye. My ass will be fatter for it, but that cake was worth it.

Anyway, I wanted to gear this post for my lady readers. Guys, you know me love you long time, so I brought something to pacify you for a few minutes while I talk to my gal pals.

Here...............

Be good and just focus on that, okay ?

Moving along.........................

So I am not really brand loyal, except for a few things such as my foundation. So that means I am constantly trying new things, and I thought I'd share my latest discoveries thanks to steep discounts. Here in the SF Bay Area a lot of salons have either lost their leases or have gone out of business altogether. So while that is sad for them, I've gotten a lot of beauty products.

Product #1: PUREOLOGY

Pureology is seriously the best haircare on the market. Just look on Amazon and see the hundreds of reviews. It's the stuff stylists swear by. It is sulfate free, and costs a fortune. But my hairstylist bought a gallon of shampoo and conditioner for me using her hairdresser discount and I paid her back. It was the best deal ever. It smells great and leaves my hair silky every time. I've bought a lot of products from salons closing recently at a steep discount. But their Pureology products never go on sale. Probably because the salon owners want to keep them for themselves and I can't blame them.

2.) SAMY FAT HAIR "O" CALORIES

Okay, so nothing compares to Pureology, but my huge supply will run out and I am looking for the next best thing. I found Fat Hair "0" Calories at Safeway at 50% off but it wasn't that expensive to begin with, just $8 before discount.

Anyway, I decided to give this a whirl because it's sulphate free, and 100% vegan. Even though I will never stop eating meat, my hair can be vegan.

If you look online at the reviews, they are mixed. Some love it, some hate it. I love it. People who hate it claim that it doesn't lather well and it doesn't smell that great. I think it lathers great and I have long thick hair. As for the smell, it doesn't smell bad, more like a bland, light smell. It's not great, but with my body chemistry, my hair does smell clean after. I can't complain.

3.) KISS ME EYELINER

I found this at a salon closing sale. It's expensive. It normally sells for $24, however I paid $12. My current supply is running out, but I will gladly cough up the $24 because it is worth it.

I have big eyes, and it's very easy for my eyeliner to smudge between the creases of my eyelids. Also, I am a bellydancer and I love to make my makeup dramatic. Normally, I have to reapply the eyeliner every few hours. This product lasts the whole day and it does not run. I have never seen anything like it. I can sweat and cry and it doesn't come off because it is water proof. Also, it is great for sensitive eyes, which I have. Normally my eyes get red due to all the eyeliner I usually wear.

When it's time to wash it off, it comes off gently. They say you can just rub it off with your finger, but I disagree. You do need to use water, but it does come off effortlessly.

4.) ONE 'N ONLY ARGAN OIL

I have naturally frizzy hair, and I am in constant need of product to tame my wild hair. I like it because it is light and smooth, but the biggest reason I like it is because of the smell. It smells so exotic and you know me, the bellydancer. I like unique.

I like this brand because I've seen bottles of this stuff go for $40 at other beauty stores. But I paid about $8 for this bottle at Sally Beauty and it feels and smells the same as the last argan oil I bought which was $7 for a measly trial size.

So, there you have it loves. I have tons of other beauty tricks up my sleeve, but that is for another time. If you are a man and you are still reading this entry, here is another reward for you........

Lookie at that...................

Okay, I'm out for now. Hugs and kisses !!

Come To Senorita..........

Hello There My Little Pancakes,

I hope you're having a nice weekend.  Pictured below is a T-shirt I bought for a former roommate of mine while we were living together, because I could easily picture him saying something like that to a chick. He was respectful to me and we got along great, but he was definitely a guy in his twenties.

And I have some more Beavis and Butthead for you lovely breakfast treats. Since most of you gave me great feedback on my last Beavis and Butthead post, I figured I would post the song that was out on their movie Beavis and Butthead Do America.

I know, I know, I am juvenile, immature, and twisted. I just can't help but laugh at this song. The chorus, "Come to butthead" never gets old.

Well that is all for now, I was going to write something deep, something with substance but screw it. I don't feel like talking about my feelings today.

Maybe tomorrow.

Ciao and besitos !

Beauty Fades, But Feisty Is Forever.....

Hello There My Little Snozzleberries,

So below is a little clip from Millionaire Matchmaker, which I love to watch.

My grandmother is going to be 90 this year. She comes across as a real sweet lady, and she is. But once in a blue moon things will come out of her mouth that will shock everyone. And I love her for it.

My father is a real colorful, twisted man. His motto is that if he isn't messing with my head, then he doesn't feel right. Then my grandmother says something vulgar that shocks him out of his own mind. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Anyway, loves, the point is, is that when all of my looks fade, and I am just a pile of saggy boobs and gray hair, I want to be a feisty old broad. I just want to tell it like it is.

The relationship counselor in the clip, Dr. Pat Allen, is a favorite of mine. She gives wonderful relationship advice and I would love to do the same and verbally give men the smackdown in my old age.

So, please enjoy. Besitos !