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Friday, March 26, 2004

SPRING BREAK !!!!

Hello my lovelies,

Wow, a lot has happened since last time. Yesterday I went to a business dinner for the business department at school. There, we networked with various companies and watched some students receive awards. I was hoping that I could get some new leads so that I may land a job in the future. I wouldn't say that going there was a COMPLETE waste of time, because I did get to talk to some people from various companies such as Verity and Applied Materials. However, these people did a wondeful job of shooting down the little hope I did have of finding a job in this abysmal job market. One of the guys from Applied Materials said that to hire a marketing person, that person would have to have a lot of previous work experience and a Phd (I prob wrote that wrong) WTF was he there for then? Obviously none of us UNDERGRADS there has a Phd. But, I wasn't too disappointed because the food there was wonderful. The rasberry strudel with vanilla ice cream was just divine. :)

Today I spent a lot of time in the classroom. I had 3 classes today. I also met with my teacher from the Latino American History class from hell. My gosh, I have a lot of shit to do over the Spring Break which starts next week. Grrr. I have an essay in Spanish and a research paper in Spanish as well. I also have a BUTTLOAD of readings to do.

After my classes, as I was walking to my apartment I got to pet the neighbor's bulldogs Betty and Belle. They are so cute. The neighbors also invited me over to watch the Apprentice. Remember that contractor that I was talking about earlier that I thought was married? He is the brother of the neighbor with the bulldogs. Turns out that he is a single parent that lives with his daughter. At least he's not flirting with me while he's MARRIED.

Well thats all for now my friends. Behave yourselves till next time.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

The latest happenings........

Hello my lovelies.............

The weather may be sunny, but its cold again. Me no likey. I miss the heat. Thankfully, I didn't have to work on Sunday. It was nice because I just slept, chilled and went shopping. I bought a cheapie but nice stereo and a vacuum. I had to because if I have to borrow a vaccum, it only gets done like twice a semester. Thats so gross. I just enjoyed the day. It was beautiful outside and I was just living in the moment, which I rarely ever do.

But, I did work on Saturday night starting on the early shift for a change. Most of my tables were nice. At one of my tables was this overweight woman and her son. I have served them before. She is the type that's always on a diet. But the kicker was her overweight son. He asked me for a diet coke with a lemon in it. What kinda kid does that?? A kid trained by well by his dieting momma ! He also ordered a salad with the blue cheese dressing "on the side". For his meal he ordered fried chicken and French Fries. Doesn't that defeat the purpose??

Oh........... How could I forget about my other table? This woman must've been about at least 50 years old. She had her blond, dried-out frizzy hair teased into this pile over her head, heavy make-up and managed to squeeze into a tight dress with her saggy boobs spilling out. For the LOVE OF GOD !!! People, please ! Thankfully she was nice to me. I hope her "get-up" made her feel 20 again.

Today while I was walking on campus, some cop recognized me. It turns out that I served him and his friends before. (He was a cutie, especially in that uniform) They were so nice to me and tipped me well, and was nice talking to him again.

What else?? ....... I have so much homework and studying to do over the Spring Break. Gaaawd !!! Not looking foward to that. I also have to get my wisdom teeth pulled next Monday. I am gonna look like a chipmunk on crack. This is gonna be the worst Spring Break.

Actually, no. LAST year was the worst Spring Break I have ever had. But I'll get into that later..............

 

Sunday, March 21, 2004

The Pianist With Hottie Adrien Brody

Last night I watched The Pianist. The movie deserved every award it got. In fact, it should have won in every category that it was nominated for. The director Roman Polanski was VERY true to the time period. Though the film was about the pianist Szpilman, the film also included things that happened to Polanski as a child. He himself was a child living in the ghetto in Poland and all of his family except his father was killed in the camps.He actually went back to Poland to re-enact what he went through in his childhood, and relived that over again to make this film.

I have also seen Schindler's List. While I love that movie, it is in black and white and there is a lot of music in the background. This film on the other hand is in color, and there are long periods where there is no background music. For example, when the Germans are approaching his apartment, you hear the cars pulling up, then footsteps up the stairs followed by harsh German voices.While this was happening, there was no background music, and no softness added. Just pure reality of what happened. This brought me back to the time period, and made me feel petrified like a soldier was gonna hunt me down. That was how real the film was.While I was watching the film, so many things went through my brain. This was fairly recent in history. There are still people alive that survived. And this happened in "civilized countries". And another thing, this is rings close to home. All of my mothers side lives in Austria, and is Catholic. My grandmother was just a scared little girl when this happened. My fathers side of the family immigrated here before the war, and they were Jewish people from Russia that spoke Yiddish. My grandmother rarely will EVER talk about the war or what happened.But I do know that she never wastes food and always makes sure that I am fed. Most people that live here in the US today are so lucky.We have the freedoms to be who we are and express ourselves in any way that we want. Thats why my mom came here and became an American citizen. Many people that live here love to criticize our country and talk about things that are wrong with it. But this country is not perfect and never will be. Every nation has its dirty laundry and we are no exception. But compared to many other countries, we are doing pretty damn good and can enjoy many freedoms. One of these days we may not have these freedoms. That is all I have to say.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Welcome to my world at da Red Lobsta......

Of course I worked tonite. I mean, what else is new :) Anyways, I wanted to send some shout outs to some of my memorable guests tonite...............

1.) To the Mexican family that completely stiffed me on the bill of 88 bucks, I wanted to extend a big FUCK YOU.

2.) To the Asian family of 5 that decided to waltz in at 10:05, we closed at 10 pm. WTF??You were even lucky to be served. I was polite, smiled, brought you tons of drink refills. I am sorry that we ran out of baked potatoes, so I got you fries and was willing to get you something else. No, bitch, I didn't know until it was too late, so therefore I couldn't tell you sooner. Perhaps we ran out of baked potatoes because we were busy tonite and you waited until AFTER we were closed to eat. Yes, like I said before, I understand you wanted baked potatoes, but I couldn't just magically pull it out of my asscrack for you. You also left me a crappy ass tip of 4 bucks on 67 bucks. Wow. For the reasons stated above, I also wanted to extend a big FUCK YOU to you too.

3.) I did want to extend a THANK YOU to a lot of my tables tonite. You took the time to acknowlege my service and compliment me, smiled at me when I spoke to you, said please and thank you and tipped me nicely. I am so grateful when I serve people like you and you make my job worthwhile. You are welcome at my tables anytime.

Aaahh, I feel better now that I've vented a little......................

On another note, while I was waiting for my shuttle to go to school, a girl came up to me and told me that she saw my dance performance and said that I was really good and that she loved it. That made my day, and it was so nice of her to say.

I also went to the pool today and got to have a girl talk with my friend Jenny. We talked about boys. I mean, when you put girls together, what else can they talk about?  I also ran into my old dorm buddies from back when we were freshman. They once played a couple of practical jokes on me in the dorms, and we talked about that as well as laughing over the stupid stuff that used to go on in Washburn Hall. But that will be for another entry. I could write a book on that............

I also got some graduation related papers in the mail. That made me feel elated, and is proof that I should be graduating in just 2 months. Yay :)

 

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Maybe you can relate?

Hello everyone,

I feel relieved because I just finished taking my BUS 139 exam, and it wasn't so bad

I don't mean to complain all the time, but I just have to admit that I have been feeling depressed for the past few weeks. Thankfully I am not actually depressed. I at least have energy and willpower to get through school and work. I can't help it. Basically I just don't really know what I want to do with my life, and I am not confident enough in my abilities to make it in the real world. To be able to make it, I've gotta be confident, and I feel like my confidence has been shot. There is a business dinner next week for business students where we get to talk to people from different businesses. We get to market ourselves and try to get a job. There may be marketing positions, but I wonder what's the point? I don't think that I want to sit in a desk all day for a living. I have a marketing internship right now, but I am not really interacting with a lot of people, and I am not implementing any strategies.I feel like my hand is being held. Before this position, I had a challenging position where I had to actually be in contact with suppliers and upload products on the company website. Though I wasn't into the company because it was a home-improvement store, it was still challenging. It was unpaid, so I thought that I had room to make mistakes. But my boss "let me go" because he felt that I couldn't handle it because I wasn't experienced enough. I will always resent him for that. I want to know that I can handle challenges.

I try to be positive and smile and tell myself that I shouldn't feel this way, but at the end of the day I still end up feeling like shit. I am gonna graduate in 3 months and still don't know where I fit in the world. In high school, I pictured myself being successful and knowing fully what I want out of life. And time has passed and I don't really have the answers. But at least I know that I am not alone in how I feel. I know that there are a lot of people out there my age with a future in front of them that feel like there is no way out.

There is no point in telling people how I feel. I get told : "Oh you'll be okay.You're gonna graduate soon." Plus, its not like I am terminally ill. I want to be happy right now, but I can't help feeling alone and unsure of myself.  Maybe you can relate, or if you're lucky you have no idea what I am thinking about.