More Happenings

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to write and give more updates. I am still taking Spanish lessons twice a week. I still work in a call center. I just moved into a new place almost a couple of weeks ago. I am still waiting for the law to change so that I have a better change of getting legal working papers. I still teach English to private students. I am still waiting for the English academy to contact me so that I can teach English at a school.

I am not as unhappy as I was in my last journal entry. Some days are just harder than others. I am just waiting for things to happen, and I have some hope. Things have been changing for me around here at the last minute. That´s kinda what life is like in Barcelona and I am finally starting to accept it after almost 9 months of being here.

Anyways, I will update more later. Ciao :)

 

Conflicted

Hello Everyone,

I dunno what to say except that I just feel real conflicted within right now. Today was real hard for me. The day was really long.  I am really not feeling well at all right now.

The truth is I don´t know exactly what I want out of my life anymore. I don´t know whether I am really following my dream or someone else´s.  Am I really doing what I want ? Or am I just scared to venture out in the real world and become really successful ?  I don´t know. I don´t know if I am living my life the way I should. I don´t know what makes me happy anymore. Because I have been making changes in my life for the last 2 months and I still don´t feel any better. It´s not that I am complaining and not doing anything. I am making changes, and I still am not satisfied.

On top of that, my plans keep changing. I never know for sure what I will be doing. In one respect it´s exciting. In another, it is really frustrating. My teaching jobs keep changing. I don´t know if I will get my legal working papers here, which is really frustrating because I have had good job offers that I couldn´t take due to my lack of wprking papers. People come and go out of my life really fast here. My friend went back home. My favorite Spanish teacher disappeared suddenly last week. My favorite coworker left on Friday. And things seem to be changing for worse instead of better. But I hope that things change for the better.

Today I wanted to go home really bad so that I could just go to a familar place and just leave behind this life that always changes. Sometimes it´s just too much. Today was too much. I don´t want to leave because I don´t like Spain. I want to leave because I want my life back in order. But I know that just getting on a plane is not the answer. But I still can´t help counting down the time. 16 weeks left. And it seems like an eternity.

Please excuse me for not being bubbly and happy. I am happy that I am doing something with my life and that I am learning Spanish and living in a foreign country on my own. I just don´t really know what I want right now. I think that maybe my reasons for coming here are clouded by my strong desire to just go back home. I really really want to go home, and I am really upset that I just can´t do it. I don´t have enough money to go back home and return here. But I know that I would miss Barcelona upon returning to the states. So I am trying to take in this beautiful city as much as I possibly can.

Anyways, I better get ready for the week. Ciao for now.

A Saturday Afternoon

Hello Everyone,

Like my title for today´s entry? How original, huh? Anyways, it is still cold here. At least the sun is shining, but it is STILL cold. I think that the weather will change in 2 weeks.

I was supposed to teach today, and the class got cancelled. I was a little upset because I do need the money. I am also waiting for the director at the English Academy to tell me when classes are starting. On top of that, I am supposed to start teaching a new student but he still hasn´t responded back to me. I don´t know what to do. Last week ago I thought that I was surely going to have lots of work teaching, and this week I have nothing. I am starting to get worried.

Plus I am running out of money in my savings account to pay my bills back home. That is starting to worry me too. I don´t know what I am going to go. And moving to a more expensive flat isn´t helping matters either. When I moved I thought that surely I would have the money. I didn´t imagine that they would get cancelled and postponed.

Last night I went to the area of Gracia to go to the 2nd hand English bookstore and I bought 2 of Dan Brown´s books. I didn´t think that they would be there. I am also waiting for The Da Vinci Code to make its way back there. I was told that it should be in in about a week. The I spoke to the owner there whom is from Ireland. Nice guy and he told me about his first experiences in Spain.

I am still reading my new book, The Shadow of the Wind. That book is very good, and very funny too. I am still trying to find time to finish it.

Anyways, I gotta go. Ciao.

 

 

A Cold Thursday

Hello Everyone,

Well, the weather is beginning to improve a little. It´s still cold of course, but it´s not so cold that it stings. I like that. I heard that it should get warmer in a couple of weeks.

My English is getting worse. I notice that as I say things, I say them like Spaniards would. And I am still not fluent in Spanish.

I am still enrolled in my Spanish lessons. My teacher left, and now we have a new one. I liked the old one that I had and he just left all of a sudden. I am a little sad about that. But I also like the new teacher we have now. She is so much better at explaining grammatical concepts, and I really need to get the grammar down.

We went over the different past tenses in Spanish. The difference between the imperfect and the preterite. I always confuse the two because in English putting verbs into the past is so much easier. It is a basic concept that students learn early on

I have to say that I am really sick of my telemarketing job. I just couldn´t take it today. I hate it so much, but it is my only sure way of earning enough money to stay here in the country.

I hate it because the job is crap. I also hate it even more because I am no good at it. And I don´t even want to try. I think that the job is so ridiculous that I don´t even try. My boss pulled me into his office the other day and he told me that he notices that the contacts I am giving him are no good.

He wasn´t mean to me or anything. He actually told me that he thinks that I am smart and that I have it in me to find potential investors and that I need to try harder.

But then when I go back to the phones I get rejected before I even get to finish my sentence. Many people also don´t even speak English. People that I talk to receive so many calls like this. But what I don´t get is that my coworkers are finding people and people that I talk to aren´t as receptive to me.

Anywho, I better get ready for bed. Ciao.

Postponed

Hello Everyone,

Well, I thought that for sure that the snow would stay on the hill where I live. Nope, it melted by the afternoon. I also thought that it would snow heavily like it did yesterday. It didn´t either. I am a little sad because I didn´t get a picture, but my roommate did.

I was supposed to start teaching in an academy this week. That got postponed and the director doesn´t know when classes will start. Gee, thanks.

I was supposed to meet my new student today after work but he posponed the meeting at the last minute for tommorow. Well, at least he called.

I was planning to spend a nice weekend, taking care of my coworker´s dog and watching DVDs and getting paid for it. That got postponed.

I am also still waiting to get paid so I can pay the rent this month. I am also waiting for the beach weather to arrive, but I won´t hold my breath for that. Still have a few more weeks of this Artic wind going on.

I feel like I am running into so many inconveniences. I really wish I had my schedule sorted out. I need the peace of mind and I really need the money.

Anyways, better go food shopping. I am hungry.