A Lot on my mind......

Hello peoples.............

I STILL feel like SHIT. I woke up with a fat headache and a stuffy nose. I almost choked on my snot. I know, too much info.....but deal with it.

I also had a group meeting for my marketing management project where we're managing a shoe company.  I friggin' hate that project, but we're making progress.

What else?? Oh yes, today I had my "exit student loan counseling session." Reality bit me on my ass. My main concern in life right now is finances. I should consider myself lucky if money is my main concern. Things could be a lot worse. I could be fighting for my life in the hospital. But nevertheless, it is still a valid concern, and it stresses me out to no end.

Any plans to better my financial position always seem to fall apart somehow. Every job that I have applied for since Red Lobster and my internship has fallen apart. Either it doesn't work with my schedule or I don't get called back. Red Lobster isn't making me a lot of money and my internship is unpaid.

I have a huge-ass student loan. The monthly payments are huge. I am gonna feel like a dead-beat dad making child support payments to his bastard children. With the way things are going I will be making payments non-stop for 10 years.

Right now I also have sooo many bills to pay before I head off on my travels. Gotta buy textbooks, travel insurance, phone bills and the list goes on................ And Spain is a hard place to find work. I read somewhere that I would have to wait up to a year to get a work visa if I am not just flat-out denied a visa like most people are. In fact the only real sure way to get a visa is to marry a Spaniard. The government is cracking down on illegal immigration and illegal workers there because they are facing a flood of immigrants from Latin America and Africa. Guess this takes a load off the US.

Basically I am planning on traveling without really knowing what the hell is gonna happen. I don't know what my TEFL classes are gonna be like. I heard they are gonna be real stressful, and I hope that I am not too homesick. I don't know where I am gonna live, or if I am gonna even have enough money stay in Spain for a while.I'll probably have to come back to the US and work for a while. I don't even know what's gonna happen when I come back. All of these thoughts just freak me out.

But I am glad that I was born as a citizen of the US. Researching the immigration laws in Spain makes me realize what people go through when they want to go to another country such as the United States. So much red tape and anxiety involved. I am lucky that I am already a part of this country and that this is where home is.

Okay, enough for now.

I am in a BAD mood.............

Hello,

I am in such a pissy mood right now. And guess what? Ron cancelled on me......... Gah !! I friggin knew this was gonna happen. I mean, he's nice for helping me out on my Spanish paper from hell, and at least he called me when he found out his schedule got changed. And we've even rescheduled.But it still doesn't change the fact that this fucked up my entire schedule for today. I was up till around 5am this morning working on the paper so I could get it done. I even skipped bellydance class to work on this.

I am also feeling like CRAP. I got the latest little bug going around and I am tired achey and stuffy. Every little thing is just annoying me today. I also have't eaten all day................ Oh well, I'll get over it by tommorow I am sure. Nothing a little sleep, medicine and food can't cure.

Student Loan Hell

Hello there my lovelies........ ( As Fez from That 70s Show would say)

I got a lovely phone call from Chela Financial, the co. that lent me money for my education. I got to learn the details of what will be happening after graduation. Interest is a real bitch. They're real nice people if you keep in touch with them and make payment plans. However, they're not to be fucked with. I shudder to think what would happen if I ignored them. Which reminds me............ I have an appointment with Sallie Mae this Wed. ( My other lender) Gotta go through the exit process. I am SO not looking foward to this. Reality is gonna smack me upside my head. I mean, I could have stayed at home all through college and saved a buttload of money. Most of these fees come from living on campus. But then I would have never had the real college experience. No offense to my parents, but I don't think I could've taken living at home for another 5 years. They're strict. Even though I am swimming in debt, I don't regret what I did. I never used my education money for anything frivolous.

I also worked on my research paper for my Hispanic culture class for like 3 hours straight today. I get to write about Latin American Artists in the 20th century. I wrote the paper in English and noe have to finish translating it into Spanish. My friend/Latin Lover (kidding) Ron is supposed to help me translate it tommorow. I hope that he doesn't back out cuz I really need to get this done. This project is like 30% of my grade. And even though my teacher KNOWS that I am a Gringa and no hablo espanol elocuente, he still grades me as if should be fluent.

I also worked on my BUS 139 project with my group from my marketing management class. I H-A-T-E that damn project. Its worth 40% of my grade. Why couldn't the exam have been worth that much ? After all, I got a 98% on that. In that project, we're running an athletic shoe store and are competing with other groups in the class. I have no clue whats going on, and the book is too boring. Besides, I hate athletic shoes anyways, and I wouldn't care if I ran the company into the ground just as long as I got a decent grade. Don't get me wrong, I am not just going to do nothing about this. I spoke to the teacher today and he helped me to understand it more. But I still hate it. Okay, enough of that shiz.

Prom

Hello Everyone,

Well the weather outside was just beautiful today. Too bad I spent most of it indoors working. I felt like my shift would never end. I am also coming down with the lastest bug. I am just feeling like SHIT. My throat and my head hurts. I suppose that I will get a stuffy nose soon.

6 years ago today was my very first prom.(junior prom) I will never forget that night. It was really the first time I got really dressed up with hair and makeup. It was MY night and I felt like I was finally becoming an adult. High school was so awkward, and I was a loner and sheltered. Guys really didn't wanna talk to me. When I went to prom, I felt like I had a chance of fitting in. People also thought of me differently after they saw me all dolled up in makeup and eveningwear with a hot date. My how time flies. I am almost gonna graduate from college. I never thought I would get out of college. Hell, I never thought that I would even turn 21. After my 21st b-day my life just keeps flashing before my very eyes.

Looking back, I feel that I could've done better in college. I could have become more involved or studied harder. I have a lot of Bs on my transcript. Maybe if I had studied harder they could've been As.

But at the same time, I am not too disappointed. I didn't screw around. I worked all thorough college. I also studied and got average grades. I also didn't do anything completely stupid. Yes, I made some mistakes, but overall I managed to stick to my morals and principles.

I can also say that I learned a lot besides academics from going to college. I have lived on campus and have made some wonderful friends. I have sooooooo many stories that I could write a book.

And it is not technically over. I still have about 6 weeks to go. 6 weeks of being a college student preparing for exams and bitching about going to class. I mean I really do want this all to end. I have been in college non-stop for about 5 years. In this time I have planned my life around my school and work schedules. But I also know that I will miss this all after its over. What can I say, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Holy Crap !!! What a Wierd Day !!!!

Hello Everyone,

OMG, today was wierd. Good, bad and wierd things happened that usually don't happen.

At work, some kid just barfed in the booth he was sitting in during dinner. He barfed into the corner of the booth. So I bet there is still caked barf under the seats. How gross. And get this............. His mother cleaned most of it it up !! I fully expected her to make me clean it up. WOW. I was floored. They were a group of 9 people so I tacked on a 15% gratuity, but they gave me an extra $10. I made almost $30 off this table alone.

And one of the busboys is new. HER name is Jessie. But she is a lesbian and dresses up as a man and prefers to be refered to as HE. Before tonight I was confused so I guessed and I referred to her as SHE. I didn't know if I should just flat out ask her so I guessed. Turns out I offended her when I referred to her as SHE in front of my table. So now I know that she is a HE. Whatever. Now I know.

We also had a domestic disturbance in the parking lot. Some guy getting violent on his girlfriend. He was jumping on top of her car and punching it with his bare hands. He was also pounding the winshield and he managed to break it. When his gf got out of the car and came back into the restaurant he tried to follow her but we wouldn't let him in. He was so bloody and left blood marks all over the windows. He also tried to drive away in her car, but the cops caught him. What a moronic dumbass. And guess what ? The woman didn't even press charges. I feel bad for her. She's prob scared he'll come after her if she puts his ass in jail. She also prob loves him too much. I feel bad and mad. She's letting him walk all over her. I am so lucky I am not in an abusive relationship. In fact, I am just happy that I am not in one and don't even have to deal with stupid male behavior. Gah.

On the way home, I was listening to the alernative station and listening to this new song. It was about this guy singing about his detached penis and how he found it on the side of the road. He also sang about not reattching it to his body. WIERD...... But it was funny.

And now I am starting to get sick. I hate that. I have a lot of schoolwork to do. Gaaah !!!