A Lot on my mind......

Hello peoples.............

I STILL feel like SHIT. I woke up with a fat headache and a stuffy nose. I almost choked on my snot. I know, too much info.....but deal with it.

I also had a group meeting for my marketing management project where we're managing a shoe company.  I friggin' hate that project, but we're making progress.

What else?? Oh yes, today I had my "exit student loan counseling session." Reality bit me on my ass. My main concern in life right now is finances. I should consider myself lucky if money is my main concern. Things could be a lot worse. I could be fighting for my life in the hospital. But nevertheless, it is still a valid concern, and it stresses me out to no end.

Any plans to better my financial position always seem to fall apart somehow. Every job that I have applied for since Red Lobster and my internship has fallen apart. Either it doesn't work with my schedule or I don't get called back. Red Lobster isn't making me a lot of money and my internship is unpaid.

I have a huge-ass student loan. The monthly payments are huge. I am gonna feel like a dead-beat dad making child support payments to his bastard children. With the way things are going I will be making payments non-stop for 10 years.

Right now I also have sooo many bills to pay before I head off on my travels. Gotta buy textbooks, travel insurance, phone bills and the list goes on................ And Spain is a hard place to find work. I read somewhere that I would have to wait up to a year to get a work visa if I am not just flat-out denied a visa like most people are. In fact the only real sure way to get a visa is to marry a Spaniard. The government is cracking down on illegal immigration and illegal workers there because they are facing a flood of immigrants from Latin America and Africa. Guess this takes a load off the US.

Basically I am planning on traveling without really knowing what the hell is gonna happen. I don't know what my TEFL classes are gonna be like. I heard they are gonna be real stressful, and I hope that I am not too homesick. I don't know where I am gonna live, or if I am gonna even have enough money stay in Spain for a while.I'll probably have to come back to the US and work for a while. I don't even know what's gonna happen when I come back. All of these thoughts just freak me out.

But I am glad that I was born as a citizen of the US. Researching the immigration laws in Spain makes me realize what people go through when they want to go to another country such as the United States. So much red tape and anxiety involved. I am lucky that I am already a part of this country and that this is where home is.

Okay, enough for now.