Saturday, July 15, 2006

My random thoughts

Hello there my lovelies,

Well my Aunt Flo likes to visit me once a month and raise hell. Every woman has an Aunt Flo. And yesterday was my lucky day. I am in so much pain. I don't even want to have children. Can't I somehow waive this part of womanhood?

Work has been so busy lately. I looked at my paycheck and I wanted to cry. I looked at the section of the taxes held for my W2, and it is almost as much as I took home so far this year. I am not rich. I am struggling. I work over 60 hours a week for such little pay. I can make time to look for another job. But I can't make time to go on interviews. People that work where I work totally understand where I am coming from. I can't just up and quit because I live from paycheck to paycheck. 

I want to work for the Federal government, but getting those jobs are so difficult. I don't even know where to begin. There has got to be something better out there. I just have to be positive.

I did get my first issue of my Bellydance magazine in the mail. It was so exciting. There were articles and advertisements. It's the only magazine where I actually enjoy the advertisements. It only come four times a year, but its totally worth the wait.

I studied Spanish from Spain and lived in Barcelona for a year, so the Spanish I learned there is different from the Spanish here. People here that speak Spanish mix in English into the vocabulary. I don't like americanized Spanish. I like Spanish that is rich in the culture. If I am gonna learn a language, I want to learn it the right way. I believe that learning the language of another country is the key to understanding its culture.

Oh, and how could I forget to write about Brad. I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I had a nice evening. We had fun. I like the guy, but I also realized that I should just let him go. He is going through a lot and he needs his space. I tried to be there for him, but he wouldnt let me and told me that I wouldn't understand his pain. I learned that the man isn't that into me, even though he said he was.

I don't want to be angry with him, so I told him that I am moving on and that he doesn't have to worry about me calling him and texing him anymore. I told him he can call me when he's ready to let me in and allow me to really be a part of his life.

He may or may not. Either way, the ball is in his court. And I am done making the move. I gave it my all, so when I told him I was through calling him, I meant it. And even if he does come back ( I have no reason to believe he will) and I am with someone, thats his loss and he's gonna finally understand how I've felt.

Anyways, I've said enough for today. I am gonna go do something useful. (Like clean my room.)






winivere2002 said...

Why do all women need to write about TOM? lol @ your changing it to Aunt Flo. I can understand how men just dont want to hear about it. I wonder if I am part man because I feel the same way. LOL... Nice that you chose to write about other things besides aunt flo. Would like to know more about that belly dance magazine. LOL @ crying about your paycheck. I feel the same way. Touchee about Spanish. Some people just dont know how to spoke. ha ha...  As for Brad, he never got to see your belly dancing moves; did he?! His loss!!!!!!!!!!!

mccine said...

Have you made attempts to contact the federal agency that you wish to work for directly ? Have you checked with your Career Planning & Placement Office to determine whether or not they have any contacts?

lmitc89854 said...

I have seen your picture and read your journal. You are very pretty and have had an interesting life. Lots to interest any man. So don't worry, a worthy man will come along.

happinessdreams said...

hey girl.
i'm waiting for my aunt flo any minute....
yea, the tax deductions on my paycheck are insane.
you try contacting the federal agency or go to your local library and look through a book called..."a guide to federal jobs".
Bellydance magazine that sounds really interesting.
I think that what you are doing with brad is very smart.
you go girl!