My random thoughts

Hello there my lovelies,

Well my Aunt Flo likes to visit me once a month and raise hell. Every woman has an Aunt Flo. And yesterday was my lucky day. I am in so much pain. I don't even want to have children. Can't I somehow waive this part of womanhood?

Work has been so busy lately. I looked at my paycheck and I wanted to cry. I looked at the section of the taxes held for my W2, and it is almost as much as I took home so far this year. I am not rich. I am struggling. I work over 60 hours a week for such little pay. I can make time to look for another job. But I can't make time to go on interviews. People that work where I work totally understand where I am coming from. I can't just up and quit because I live from paycheck to paycheck. 

I want to work for the Federal government, but getting those jobs are so difficult. I don't even know where to begin. There has got to be something better out there. I just have to be positive.

I did get my first issue of my Bellydance magazine in the mail. It was so exciting. There were articles and advertisements. It's the only magazine where I actually enjoy the advertisements. It only come four times a year, but its totally worth the wait.

I studied Spanish from Spain and lived in Barcelona for a year, so the Spanish I learned there is different from the Spanish here. People here that speak Spanish mix in English into the vocabulary. I don't like americanized Spanish. I like Spanish that is rich in the culture. If I am gonna learn a language, I want to learn it the right way. I believe that learning the language of another country is the key to understanding its culture.

Oh, and how could I forget to write about Brad. I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I had a nice evening. We had fun. I like the guy, but I also realized that I should just let him go. He is going through a lot and he needs his space. I tried to be there for him, but he wouldnt let me and told me that I wouldn't understand his pain. I learned that the man isn't that into me, even though he said he was.

I don't want to be angry with him, so I told him that I am moving on and that he doesn't have to worry about me calling him and texing him anymore. I told him he can call me when he's ready to let me in and allow me to really be a part of his life.

He may or may not. Either way, the ball is in his court. And I am done making the move. I gave it my all, so when I told him I was through calling him, I meant it. And even if he does come back ( I have no reason to believe he will) and I am with someone, thats his loss and he's gonna finally understand how I've felt.

Anyways, I've said enough for today. I am gonna go do something useful. (Like clean my room.)

Ciao.