My fave quote.

"So I went to the doctor and he told me I was too fat. I looked at him in disbelief and said that I wanted a second opinion. So he looked back at me and said "Okay, you're ugly too."

I love that quote. It makes me laugh.

While we're on the subject, my father gave me a fart machine for my birthday. It has a remote control button. I have some ideas about how I'll put it to use.

Speaking of which, last week while I was shopping I was passing by a very cute guy. I had to fart, and I thought I could keep it silent. Instead, I let it rip and tooted my own horn. I was mortified. And the guy turned all the way around and looked at me. I turned red and kept walking. But a small part of me was proud.