Friday, December 8, 2006

One of those days.

Hello there,

I am writing this entry as a form of therapy. I don't feel like talking to anyone about it. It wouldn't make me feel better, but writing about it would. So, here I am.

Today is just one of those days. It's dark and gloomy outside. I also feel invisible. I have times where I feel like I am on top of the world and moving forward. (Last week, for example) This week I feel like I've taken a couple of steps back. Especially since I am looking for a place all over again. I have so many bills this month that came up unexpectedly and it's hard to scrape the money together for a deposit.

I really liked a guy at my old job, and I thought he liked me back. He would always tell me that I looked good at work, and when we went out we would dance together. He had this girl chasing after him that I thought he would never go for. She would hang around him like a puppy and follow him around, make excuses to see him after work. It was totally obvious. I thought that playing hard to get would perhaps work to my advantage. I didn't bring my drama to work like she did. I thought that men didn't like drama.

I am not full of myself, but I think I am prettier than she is, and I haven't been spoiled like she is. I know when a woman is prettier than me and I will admit it, but this girl isn't. I am not the only one who noticed.

And now they are seriously dating and she's flashing pictures of them together all over the internet. And it's a huge slap in the face to me. This is bringing out the worst in me, because I didn't think I was jealous person. And now I realize that I am and I have to swallow my pride. I have to accept that he was never into me like I thought. It's almost as if I am angry with him now. Because now that he's with her, I don't even want to talk to him. When I see him at work I just say hello and keep to myself.

I know this isn't a personal attack on me, but I can't help taking it personally. I really did like the guy. I can't wait until I quit that job for good.

With my roommate situation, this and the gloomy weather at the same time, I am definitely NOT feeling the love.



winivere2002 said...

Writing is always good therapy. It helps to see things on paper because it helps to provide you with a different perspective. For one thing, it looks as if it is better to concentrate on your money situation instead of your love life. As for the guy, it looks as if he's a pushover for someone easy. Maybe that's all he could get. Perhaps you could have put your farting machine to better use, making him think she was farting for real. ha ha... It's ok to play hard to get as long as you don't play so hard that you don't get caught. =.)

winivere2002 said...

PS... You are beautiful, just as you are!

hosuay said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....Maybe he liked that this girl didn't have any issues about showing interest in him, and the hard to get thing made it look like you weren't interested in him, and that you thought you were so above this other girl, and maybe he didn't like that.

winivere2002 said...

Hey, Girl! Grabbed my Santa hat to come by for a visit and wish you Merry Xmas from The Glass Box! Wishing you peace and lots of love!!! Hope your holidays are as special as you are!
Love, Win =.)

happinessdreams said...

To start off....this is a good form of therapy. Writing is a good way to release our feelings, angers, frustrations.
I wish you that I could say something to make you feel better...i've experienced this over and over again.
you know it.
We should never lose the hope and continue to believe that love will come to us.